“How was your day?” The question was stupid and not at all what I wanted to say, but right now I was at a loss.
“Pretty good. You said you had a surprise for me?” he clearly looked amused.
I nodded. “Yes, I do.”
I moved over to him. My legs were shaking but I didn’t want him to know how nervous I was. “I don’t want to wait any longer.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I want you to make love to me.” I tried to kiss him, but he pulled back and stared at me. I watched his Adam’s apple bobbing at his throat.
“I thought you wanted to wait until after we were married ?”
“I did at first, but why wait? We’re engaged . . . you love me . . . and that’s . . . all . . . that . . . matters,” I said between kisses.
Kimbel pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me, and deepened the kiss. My body started to relax and I tried to forget about Mother and what she had beaten into my thick skull all those years.
“You’re so sexy,” he said as he reached for the ties, loosened the negligee, and pulled it over my head. I stood there wearing nothing but the high-heeled slippers while his eyes perused my length.
“And so are you.” I reached for his tie and loosened it, then started on the buttons of his shirt. My hands were shaking so hard, but I had to do this no matter how much it was against my values.
Kimbel carried me over to the bed and lay me gently at the center; then he reached for his belt buckle and removed his pants. The entire time he shed his clothes, his eyes never left me. As I watched him pull his belt from the loops, I thought about Mother taking the belt to my butt that time she had walked into my room and found me fondling myself. She beat me that night until I was raw because I had been curious about how it felt to be touched down there.
Kimbel lay on the bed beside me and pulled me in his arms, raining kisses across my face and neck. I closed my eyes and for once allowed myself to enjoy him. His lips traveled down to my breasts, where he captured my nipple in his mouth and sucked and teased until I was squirming on the bed. “Just relax, baby. Daddy’s going to make you feel good.”
He traveled even lower and touched me just the way he had two weeks ago. His tongue darting in and out that he next replaced with a finger, first one, then two.
“Tif, I’m going to take my time, baby, because I want your first time to be perfect.”
I pushed back a sob. My man was so sweet and thoughtful to think about how I was feeling. He positioned himself between my thighs and the second I felt him push, I flinched.
“Sweetheart, I’m going to take it slow, but I’m not going to lie. It’s going to hurt a little.”
I drew in a shaky breath and nodded. “I know that, Kimbel. I trust you.”
He lowered his lips to mine and pushed his tongue inside my mouth. I met his strokes and tried to forget about what he was doing. “Wrap your legs around me.” I did and he kissed me as he pushed hard inside my body. A scream tore from my throat and he stopped. “Are you okay?”
I nodded.
He kissed me. “We can stop.”
“No . . . don’t stop. Please finish.” And to make sure he knew I meant it, I pushed his butt so he slipped farther inside. I grit my teeth and bit back the pain.
“Oooh . . . baby, you’re so tight.” He started to move, rocking back and forth until he pushed all the way through. It hurt like hell, but I held on. Forget the hype. I was hurting so bad it took everything I had not to cry. Kimbel kept kissing me and moving slowly at first, then his breathing got heavy and he started moving faster. “Baby, I’m sorry. It just feels too good. I can’t wait any longer.” He started pumping like a wild man. “Uuuughhh!” he cried; then he exploded. I opened my eyes in time to see his eyes close and the smile on his lips. He was happy, and that’s all that really mattered, right?
Kimbel collapsed on top of me and I lay there glad it was over. “Baby, I’m sorry. Next time will be better for you. I promise.” He pulled me into his arms and showered me with kisses. I waited until he had drifted off to sleep before I started crying my ass off. Mother was right. I should have waited. I had saved my relationship, but now I lost the one thing I had managed to hold on to for twenty-seven years. Now that my virginity was gone, I felt so empty inside.
12
Candace
As Jennifer Hudson blared from the speakers of my CD player, I danced around my apartment in a red satin bra that barely contained my 36Ds and matching low-rise bikinis. I moved over to the mirror to make sure my makeup was perfect. Earlier, my girl Tiffany hooked up my hair so it was looking short, sleek, and simply fabulous.
I was nervous about my date. I’d learned long ago not to expect a lot from a man, yet there was just something about Chauncey that had me thinking about him and smiling for no particular reason at all. I tried to remind myself it was only a date, dinner and a movie; yet my armpits were sweating again and I wasn’t having that. I moved over to the fan in the corner, raised my arms, and allowed them to air-dry. Chauncey would be here in the next thirty minutes and Tyree still hadn’t been by to pick up his daughter. I wanted him long gone before my date arrived. Chances were he wasn’t coming, which was nothing new. I hadn’t seen him around since he screwed up my date with Deon. I would just have to drop Miasha by my parents’ house on the way, and that was probably for the best. The last thing I needed was a repeat of Monday evening.
I still couldn’t believe I had almost passed up a chance with Chauncey for that funky breath negro. To think I wasted time on that mess. I cussed Brenda every which way when I got to work the following day.
I moved to the full-length mirror and smiled. I liked what I saw. Thursday, I had gone shopping and found the perfect outfit. It was a short black dress with buttons straight down the front that molded my curves like a glove. I found a pair of red come-fuck-me heels and a matching belt to complement the look. Chauncey was in for a surprise. By the time I had Miasha’s overnight bag packed, I heard a knock. I went to the door and was relieved to see if wasn’t Tyree.
Chauncey grinned. “Damn, don’t you look good.”
I spun around, making sure he saw the view from the back as well, then returned Chauncey’s smile. “You don’t look bad yourself.” He was wearing the hell out of Sean John jeans, white sneakers, and a T-shirt that hugged every muscle on his chest and arms. His locks hung free around his shoulders and he looked good enough to eat. As soon as I stepped aside and invited him in, Miasha came running down the hall.
He scooped her up in his arms. “Who do we have here?”
“Miasha,” she said shyly, looking from me to him.
“What a pretty name for a beautiful little girl. Here, I brought you something.” He reached inside his pocket and pulled out a large red lollipop. Her eyes lit up. It didn’t take much to make my daughter happy.
“Can I have it?” she asked Chauncey.
“Sure, it’s yours.”
Miasha looked at me for approval. I nodded and she took it. “Thank you,” she said, and ran down the hall to her room with her ponytail bouncing. I couldn’t help but smile at how quickly Chauncey had won her over. Things were definitely looking up and the evening hadn’t even started yet.
“You enjoying yourself?” Chauncey asked, taking my hand and squeezing it.
I glanced up at him and smiled. “Absolutely.”
Tonight was probably the best night of my entire life. Chauncey first took me to my parent’s house to drop off Miasha. Papa was at the church, but I invited him inside and Mama was falling all over herself, impressed by his charm and good manner. I wasn’t surprised since she never cared for Tyree. I had to practically drag Chauncey out the house just to get away from Mama when she started twenty questions. Some of the things she was asking were questions that I had yet to ask him myself because I figured there would be plenty of time for that later.
When Chauncey suggested Italian, I thought he was going to take me to Leona’s on Stoney Island or one of these neighbor
hood restaurants I’d been patronizing for years. Instead, he took me to this place downtown called Little Italy, and let me say that was the best Italian food I had ever had. As soon as I stepped in, I knew this place was a far cry from Olive Garden. I felt like I had stepped into Italy with the lovely décor and the guitarist in the corner playing Italian ballads. When the waiter came up to us dressed in all white and the chef came out of the kitchen to personally introduce himself, I was floored. It was nothing like the restaurants I went where Bubba or some other cat who had just gotten out of the penitentiary stepped out the kitchen wearing a hairnet on his way out back to smoke a cigarette. There was soft lighting and a candle at the center of the table, and we both had a glass of wine, something I never ordered when I had dinner only because I could get it cheaper at the liquor store on the corner. We had appetizers and fresh baked bread, and the seafood Alfredo was to die for. The food was truly authentic Italian food. No two for one or $19.99 specials. I stuffed myself trying to get every bit of my plate cleared off. Afterward, we had tiramisu, which was a coffee flavored cake and a premium blend cup of coffee. The entire meal, we talked about life just trying to get to know one another. I kept staring into Chauncey’s gray eyes wondering what is wrong with this man that he is single. Chauncey was hood and I liked it in him, but he knew how to treat a woman.
Afterward, we headed down to Navy Pier and rode on the Ferris wheel, then decided to take a stroll up and down the pier waiting for the fireworks display to begin at ten.
“I’m glad you decided to give a brotha a chance.”
“I’m glad I did as well.” I stared up at the starlit sky. “This night has been one I will never forget.”
Chauncey stopped walking and pulled me close to him, then pressed his forehead against mine. “Baby, this is only the beginning.” At that moment, he did what I had been waiting all evening for him to do. He locked his lips with mine, and when he pushed with his tongue I parted my lips and let him in. He moved with such skill and confidence, Chauncey had me curious about what else he was good at.
As soon as we pulled apart, fireworks lit up the sky and Chauncey came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me as we watched the show together. The fireworks were just like the ones going on inside my head right now. My body was on fire. I don’t remember the last time I had ever been this happy. Only the beginning? The beginning of what, I wondered? I was hoping he was implying that he wanted to keep seeing me because I would just die if he didn’t. “I’m having such a good time tonight.” I paused and found I was having trouble expressing myself. “I wish we could just stop time and this evening would never end.”
“So do I, baby girl.” He nuzzled my neck and planted kisses along my face. “I am truly feeling you, Candy.”
I smiled. He had used my nickname. No one called me that but Papa and Tiffany, and Tyree when he was trying to get some. But hearing it coming from Chauncey made it sound just as sweet as the word. I closed my eyes and savored the close contact and felt myself leaned back against him. If this was just the beginning, I couldn’t wait to see what happened next.
As soon as the show was over, Chauncey took my hand. “Come on, let’s go.”
“Where’re we going?”
He gave me a puzzled look. “Sweetheart, I’m taking you to get Miasha, then we’re going back to your place.”
We picked up a sleepy Miasha and we were relatively quiet most of the ride. When Chauncey pulled up in front of my building, he put the car in Park and turned off the engine. Before I could find the guts to invite him inside, he reached in back and scooped Miasha in his arms and carried her into the building. Once inside my apartment, I took her from his arms and carried her into the room and lay her in the bed. Mama had already bathed her and she had on pajamas, so all I had to do was slip her under a The Princess and the Frog comforter. When I returned to the living room, I expected to find Chauncey lounging across the couch with his shoes off, but instead he was standing near to the door.
“Would you like something to drink?” I asked, and couldn’t believe how nervous I sounded.
I was floored when he shook his head. “No, I’m fine, but thanks. I had a good time tonight.”
Of course, I was disappointed that the evening was about to end. The fact that he wasn’t trying to get me in bed and get some kind of return for all the money he forked out tonight had me stunned. Trust and believe, I would have clowned his ass if he had even thought about asking for some, but now that he was leaving, it had me thinking that maybe he didn’t have as good a time as I had.
Chauncey lowered his head and gave me one of those kisses that made my panties moist; then he released me and moved to the door. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Are you serious?”
He swung around and looked confused. “What?”
“You really leaving?”
He had the nerve to laugh like something was funny. “Yes, I’m leaving. Why? You want me to stay?”
“Uh . . . no.” I wasn’t sure what I wanted at this moment except that I wasn’t ready yet for him to leave. Usually at this particular moment my date was trying to get him some before I shut him down and told him it was time for him to leave. I wasn’t used to someone wanting to leave before I was ready for him to go. I guess I should have felt relieved. Except I saw Chauncey leaving as a sign he wasn’t really interested. I walked over to him, wrapped my arms around his waist, and kissed him deeply; and when he cradled me in his arms, I felt evidence of his erection against my stomach. At least he isn’t gay. And he had to be at least a little bit attracted to me for his dick to get hard.
Chauncey was the first to end the kiss. “Yo, I better go.” He winked, then released me. “I’ll holla at you tomorrow.”
I saw the way he was looking down at his watch and suddenly it hit me. The reason why Chauncey was leaving was because he had a woman at home. “Yeah, whatever,” I mumbled under my breath.
His brow rose and he moved toward me, then stroked the side of my face. “What’s running through your head?”
I moved away from his touch and crossed my arms. “I’m just wondering why you’re in such a rush?”
“A rush? Baby girl, if I had my way, I would spend the rest of the night making love to you, but I don’t want to rush things between us.”
“Why? ’Cause you got some female at home waiting for you?” Damn, I can’t believe I blurted out and said that. The last thing I wanted was for Chauncey to think I was sweating him.
“Not at all.” He shook his head, sending his dreadlocks swinging across his shoulders. It was hard to stay angry at someone who looked that sexy. “I know we didn’t talk about it tonight, but I’m not seeing anyone. I hope your situation hasn’t changed.”
“It hasn’t.”
Chauncey reached for me and brought me close against him. “I like you, Candy. I am truly feeling you, so I don’t wanna rush things between us. Yeah, I could have tried to get some tonight, but I’m not ’cause I got mad respect for you.”
Was he for real?
“We can take this thing slow. All I ask is . . . will you keep it real wit your boy?”
I stared up into his beautiful eyes thinking I must be the luckiest woman in all of Chicago right now. “Absolutely. As long as you promise to do the same.”
“No doubt.”
We sealed the end of our evening with another long kiss.
13
Chauncey
I’d had dates before, plenty of them, but none had ever compared to my evening with Candace. That female was smart and intelligent and had a wonderful sense of humor. I liked that she had a good head on her shoulders, and even though I hadn’t spent a great deal of time with her and Miasha, I already had a feeling she was also a good mother. All in all, Candace was the total package.
Once I told her I respected her enough to take things slow, we sat in her living room and talked about things such as sports and cars. She was not like other girls I dated who had nothing to di
scuss other than hair, nails, or their baby’s daddy. I had such a good time, I hated to see the night end and couldn’t wait to see Candace again on Thursday. I was taking her down to the pool hall to shoot a few. My life was looking up. I could feel it. One day at a time and everything would start to fall in place. For so many years, I had been in an environment that was designed for me to fail. I was determined to prove them all wrong.
I found a parking spot two blocks away from the YMCA. I got out and headed toward the building, grinning like a damn fool, and was moving up the sidewalk when I heard someone calling my name.
“Chauncey! You hear me talking to you!”
Oh, hell naw! I swung around and spotted Tameka running toward me. “Where the hell you been all night?” she spat.
I turned to my left and then my right. “You must be talking to someone else ’cause I know you ain’t talking to me.”
“There isn’t anybody else out here. I’m talking to you and I want to know where you been. It’s one o’clock!”
“Tameka, go home.”
“Not until you answer my question.” She had the nerve to cross her arms and act like she was my wife.
I ignored her and headed up the sidewalk. “You need to go home.”
“I’m not going anywhere!” She ran and stood in front of me and looked mad enough to hit me. I wouldn’t put it past her. Tameka was crazy. It wasn’t until after I quit fooling with her that I learned she had stabbed her sister in the leg over a pack of cigarettes.
My eyes traveled the length of her and I’m not gonna lie. She looked sexy as hell with her petite self, standing there in low-ride jeans that showed off her beautiful abs. A skintight midriff shirt emphasized her large breasts that were like two succulent melons. But underneath all that beauty was a crazy-ass female who didn’t know when to leave well enough alone.
“I’ve been sitting out here all night waiting to talk to you,” she had the nerve to say with attitude.
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