Until Sloan noticed her watching him and went still. An evil glint in his eyes, he lifted her, changing his grip on her bandaged thigh so the pain came fresh and sharp, slamming into her so she felt every inch of him, the angle stimulating the spot inside her that stole her from her pleasant plateau and tossed her to the summit. The bruising ache, the spike of pleasure, held her high on the razor’s edge of climax, and he knew her body well enough to keep her there until she was screaming for release.
He gave it to her, driving in hard and grinding his pelvis against her to stimulate her clit. The coiling tightness within splintered like scalding glass dropped in icy liquid. Her eyes teared as her back bowed, lips parted to gulp in air. Her throat felt raw and the strength left her as she rode the last erotic wave, shuddering as Sloan jerked against her one last time.
That he’d come with her was a relief, because she was so sensitive she wasn’t sure she could take any more. But she wasn’t done. She had to force her heavy head up to see Max, needing to make sure he wasn’t left out.
His hand on his dick, he met her eyes, stroking hard as he came on her breasts. She’d have preferred if she could have gotten him off, but he didn’t seem to mind at all as he braced his hands on the edge of the bed and let out a tired laugh.
“Give me a minute and I’ll clean that up. Bathroom is too far right now.” He smiled as he leaned down to kiss her.
Sloan grunted, dragging himself up the bed on her other side. The sound of the nightstand drawer sliding open, then closed, had both her and Max looking over at him. He grinned and held up a container of wet wipes. “No need to go anywhere.”
Max took the wipes and tidied up his mess, grinning when she squirmed as he spent more time than necessary rubbing her nipples with the cool cloth. He tossed the wipes in the small trash can on his side of the bed, then stretched out beside her and undid her cuffs, holding her as Sloan tended to her leg, cleaning the cuts with sterile saline water and spreading an antibiotic cream before covering it again. Oriana watched Sloan, bent over her leg, his jaw hard and his hands shaking just a little.
He was either questioning what he’d done or so wound up from his own high that he was slow to come down. Maybe a little of both. She wanted to reassure him, but her body felt heavy and it was a struggle to keep her eyes open. She touched Max’s hand, happy to see he was watching Sloan as well.
He cleared his throat. “Didn’t want to ruin the scene by mentioning it, but I like what you did there, tracing out S&M. And your knifemanship is exquisite.”
“Thanks.” Sloan rubbed his lips with his fist, then took a deep breath. “I need a minute.”
He was off the bed and out of the room before either she or Max could react. Max sighed, lying down and wrapping his arm around her, preventing her from getting up. He kissed her shoulder, nuzzling her neck as he whispered to her. “How you feeling, sugar?”
Physically, she felt amazing, but her chest ached as she thought of Sloan, so torn between what they all wanted and his inability to share the aftermath with them. They’d talked about it in the past—even he wasn’t sure why he needed to be alone when a scene ended. He’d tried forcing himself to stay, but that seemed to make it harder for him to recover. And Oriana hated seeing his strained smile, his touch always too careful, almost hesitant.
Sloan taking a bit of time to himself didn’t bother her, so long as he wasn’t beating himself up over something that she’d enjoyed. He promised her he didn’t, but she knew his conscience was more of a sadist than he was.
“Oriana?” Max laced his fingers with hers, rising up on his elbow to study her face. He relaxed when she smiled at him. “You’re worried about him.”
She nodded, wishing she could make Max go check on him, but knowing he wouldn’t leave her. “I guess I hoped this time would be different. We’ve been planning and negotiating for a year. Everything went perfectly, but he still…”
“I don’t think he regrets the scene, if that helps any.” Max’s hand left hers as he lifted it to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “Honestly, I think he feels vulnerable, and as much as he loves us, he doesn’t like showing weakness.”
“That’s never going to change, is it?”
Max frowned and dropped his gaze to the bed. “Hard to say. Do you want me to check on him?”
“Yes.” She giggled when his frown deepened as though he hadn’t expected the answer. He usually wouldn’t leave her side for hours after a scene, but they weren’t at the club. There was no reason for him to worry. About her anyway. “He’ll probably be all grumpy, but he needs to be reminded that he’s part of us. Even if he tells you to go away, at least he’ll know we care.”
“He knows that.” Max rolled his eyes as she shoved his shoulder. “Fine, my pushy little sub. I’ll go make sure our big bad sadist is all right.”
“Good boy.” She jumped when he playfully swatted her butt. As he slipped out of the room, a hazy sensation of tranquility settled over her. Even after years with both men, she still couldn’t believe how lucky she was. She had more than any woman could ever ask for. Two men who loved her and she could be completely honest with. Who were willing to explore her darkest desires and never made her wonder if she was messed up for what she needed or wanted.
The house was quiet, so Sloan couldn’t be that upset about Max checking on him. She’d hear them otherwise. Content, she closed her eyes, but the urge to pee had her sitting up and untangling herself from the sheets to hurry to the bathroom.
* * * *
With the curtains drawn in the living room, Sloan had to feel his way to the couch through the darkness. He sat slowly, fisting his hands against his knees to stop them from shaking. Eyes closed, he still saw the blood trailing down Oriana’s thigh. Blood he’d drawn.
The blood itself didn’t do much for him, except for the fact that the stark red on her golden flesh was beautiful. Her soft whimpers, her struggle to be still as he hurt her, was nothing short of exquisite. His hand had been steady as he’d cut her, knowing just how deep he could go without doing serious damage, but it was how he felt when it was over that he couldn’t deal with. He’d tried to explain it to Max and Oriana, and yet, he couldn’t seem to find the right words.
They thought he was slammed with regrets after a scene, but it wasn’t that at all. He just didn’t know how to relax into the high. He felt…too good. The control he held during a scene escaped him once it was over. It reminded him of the one time he’d smoked a joint with friends as a teen. Fun until the drug took over and his brain was fuzzy and he couldn’t trust his own thoughts. He’d never touched drugs after that. Or anything else that could affect his judgment. Control of himself wasn’t something he cared to jeopardize.
But there were times his iron grip on himself faltered, and being alone was the only way he knew how to regain clarity. Whether it was after a game, with a win or a loss, adrenaline agitating him to the point that he might lash out, or at the end of a scene when he couldn’t trust himself to say or do anything right.
His only regret was that people thought he was angry when he took off. Max and Oriana understood him better than most, but he was sure they still wondered sometimes if they’d done something wrong. He’d offer reassurance once he felt normal again. Until then, at least they had each other.
The hall light came on and Sloan sighed as he saw Max standing in the doorway. He should have expected the man to come, either on his own or because Oriana wanted him to make sure Sloan was okay. He cracked his knuckles, happy at least that his hands had stopped shaking. And he didn’t want to punch Max as his best friend crossed the room. All good things.
“I know what you’re gonna ask.” Sloan slouched back into the sofa, giving Max a crooked smile as he sat beside him. “I’m fine. I’m sorry I left like that, I just—”
“When I’m not around, you don’t take off.” Max braced his hands on his thighs, not looking at Sloan. “And yeah, you don’t do edgeplay without me, but it’s hard to know
what’s going on in your head when you shut down like this. If you just need a minute, I’ll give it to you. Wish you’d stay with us though—even if that means you can’t play big, tough Dom all the time.”
“I’m not trying to be tough. I just don’t want to…” Sloan rubbed the tense spot between his eyes, getting that they had to be able to discuss any issues, but not sure he could be any clearer. “I never know how I’ll react when I’m leaving that headspace. I could hurt you or her without meaning to.”
Max nodded slowly, finally meeting his eyes. “I don’t think you would. But what I think doesn’t matter. You don’t believe it, and no one’s gonna convince you otherwise.”
Sloan closed his eyes and shook his head. If Max were a sub, he could probably just order him to back off. Then again, that wouldn’t work with Oriana if she decided there was a problem. But Max saw more than either of them, and he was the reason they’d made it this far. Sloan hadn’t been sure if he had what it took to be in a stable relationship, but Max had forced him to see all the little things that made them strong together. A lot of negotiation. More talking than Sloan would have ever considered necessary. But it was worth it because Sloan didn’t want to know what a life without Oriana and Max would look like.
“I promised I’d try harder. And I haven’t. I didn’t mean to do this again.” He sighed, pushing away from the sofa to stand. “Is Oriana okay? She knows this has nothing to do with her, right? I’m just…fucked up.”
“You’re not fucked up, you’re just a slow learner.” Max slapped his shoulder, a broad smile on his lips. “You’d never be as indulgent with a sub as we’ve been with you. Rather than worrying if you’ll share too much when you’re feeling all exposed, how about you consider that maybe you need to share that part of yourself with us?”
Realizing he was clenching his jaw to the point of pain, Sloan forced himself to relax. And scratched the scruff on his jaw. “I left before I could tell you both how much I love you. It felt…sappy. And I don’t do—”
“Fuck, man.” Max threw his arm over Sloan’s shoulder and pressed a noisy kiss to his cheek. “I love you too. And next time, I’m cuffing you to the bed frame and forcing you to be sappy and vulnerable and all the rest. No more hiding from us.”
Not fucking happening. Sloan scowled, but he felt the tension ease from his muscles. Seriously, what was the worst that could happen if he stayed after a scene? The two most precious people in his life had seen him at his lowest. And Max would never let him hurt Oriana in a bad way.
A smile crept across his lips as he started up the stairs. He was glad Max had come to tell him he was being stupid. He wanted to hold Oriana as she slept. See that she was feeling good after the scene he’d spent months planning.
He just hoped he hadn’t spoiled everything for her by being a distant asshole.
As they reached the top of the steps, he heard a loud thump. A cry. Then silence.
His eyes went wide as Max went still beside him. They moved together, rushing into the bedroom to find the bed empty. Sloan tripped over a pile of clothes on the floor, his knees hitting the carpet as Max strode past him and threw the bathroom door open.
Oriana was there. And there was blood. Not beautiful, but frightening.
And she wasn’t moving.
Chapter Four
The last act was almost over, but Sahara wasn’t ready for the date to end. She also wasn’t about to let Dominik know that because it seemed a little desperate. If he didn’t ask her to hang out longer, she’d just go home and hope he’d enjoyed himself enough to ask her out again.
Pretty pathetic, Sahara. You’re not fifteen anymore. Just say something!
Instead of watching the stage, Dominik had his eyes on her. And a knowing smile on his lips. Her cheeks heated as he reached out to curve his hand under her chin. Something in his eyes made her feel like she’d just painted a very clear picture for him of all her most private thoughts.
“It’s a little cold out, but would you like to go for a walk?” Dominik’s request sounded so simple, but his attention on her was so intense it was more like being asked to completely expose herself to him. During the show and the meal, there’d been plenty of distractions, but they’d still gotten to know one another better.
The idea of walking with him shouldn’t be such a big deal, but she knew she’d be letting him in all the way. Having sex would be so much simpler, but he’d made his intentions clear. With him, she’d never have to wonder if she was nothing more than a good time.
Which was perfect. She was ready to see if this could actually be a new beginning. A real relationship with someone she could trust.
He didn’t seem surprised that she didn’t answer right away. He inclined his head, watched the rest of the show, and paid the bill. Helped her put on her coat, then held out his hand as if that was the only reply he needed.
She took a deep breath, a sweet, heart-racing, head-lightening rush hitting her as she placed her hand in his. Being with him felt damn good. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy.
The cold air hit her as they stepped out onto the sidewalk, and she laughed when Dominik pulled her tight against his side with his big arm around her shoulders. She grinned up at him as they walked. “Do you like perpetuating the illusion that Masters are mind readers?”
He snorted, rubbing her arm as he kept a steady pace that was easy for her to match. “You assume I’m not holding you to keep myself warm?”
“Yep. You’re too big and tough to let a little cold bother you.” She leaned into him as they strolled down the quiet streets, already in sight of the pier. There weren’t many people out and about at this time of year, but there were boats bobbing in the distance and she never got tired of taking in the sights. New York had its own urban charm, and she never went long before visiting her friends and family to take in the familiar hustle. Still, if she compared the two, she could truly say Nova Scotia had become her home.
Curious, she glanced over at Dominik. “Do you like it here?”
He blinked, looking around as though he weren’t sure what she meant. “The area is beautiful, but I suspect you mean something more. And the answer is yes. I could see spending the rest of my life here, which probably means I’ll be traded next year.” He gave her a little squeeze and chuckled when she bit her bottom lip. “Not really. I have a nice long contract and a no-trade clause. I’ll probably retire with the Cobras, but I’m not there yet. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
“So no regrets?” She had some the second the words left her mouth and shadows filled his eyes. Nice going, dumbass. She stopped walking and faced him before he could answer. “I mean, Cam is here now, but your mom isn’t. And your other brother…”
“My mother is fine with my sisters. And Josh…” Dominik began rubbing her arm again, his forehead creasing slightly. “I’m afraid for him every time he’s deployed, but so proud of him. He’s a soldier and that won’t change, no matter where I live. We all grow up and make our own way in life. I can’t see making mine anywhere but here.”
“But you miss him. You didn’t hesitate when you said your mom was fine, but you—”
“Perceptive little thing, aren’t you?” He smoothed her hair away from her cheeks with his fingertips, studying her face. “Yes. It’s been a long time and I miss him. My sisters make him things to get through it, but I’m not really into knitting or quilting.” The edges of his lips quirked. “I write him once a week. Hear back from him least every other month. For some reason, he can’t do email or Skype. Not sure I want to know why.” He paused. “He always asks if Cam is staying out of trouble. I’m happy our little brother has given him no cause for concern.”
Sounded good, but there was still a tension in his eyes and his tone. She reached up to touch his cheek, much like he was touching hers. “How long since you heard from him?”
“Little longer than usual, but I’m sure he’s fine.”
“You like that word.”
“I do.” He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers gently, the heat of his lips warming her straight down to her toes. Then he took her hand in his and kissed her palm. “Don’t worry so much, sunshine.”
“I can’t help it. I consider you a friend, and I know how much you love your brother.”
“Just a friend?” He kissed her palm again, but it was different with the heat in his eyes. If he wanted to change the subject, he’d found the perfect way to do it. “Is friendship all you want from me, Sahara?”
“You know it’s not.” She tipped her head back as he drew her arms around his waist. His fingers delved into her hair as he slanted his lips to hers. Her lips parted to let him in, no hesitation, no doubts reaching her with the heat of him all around her and the fresh scent of him, all man and spice mingling with the ocean air taking over her senses.
His kiss was complete possession, narrowing her awareness to the pressure of his lips, the way his tongue touched hers, tasting her, guiding hers in an erotic dance that made doing this out in the open seem naughty. Her knees were weak and she tightened her grip on his arms for support. And to get closer to him. She needed to be closer, but they were outside and there was only so much he could give her.
But…damn. If this was how the man kissed, she wasn’t sure she liked his limits for tonight.
He backed away first, a smile on his lips and hunger in his eyes. Maybe he’d changed his mind?
“You tempt a man, girl.” He swept his thumb over her bottom lip. “If I was younger and stupider, I might…” There was a buzzing from his pocket. Probably his phone. He ignored it, continuing when it stopped. “I want to do this again. Playoff schedule is difficult, but maybe a movie Thursday night when I get back from New York?”
“I’d like that.” Actually, she wanted everything now, but there was something special about him wanting to take things slow. As if she were worth waiting for. She’d never experienced a gradual buildup in a relationship, but her track record wasn’t great. Maybe patience would lead to a better end game. “You should probably get some rest. I don’t want to be responsible for you not playing your best tomorrow.”
Goal Line (The Dartmouth Cobras Book 7) Page 7