“I would have never forgiven you.”
“And I would have never forgiven myself, for taking your life. I think it would have killed me.”
I pressed my cheek into his left hand. “You’re stronger than that.”
“No.” His eyes darted to my mouth. “I think I’m lacking all strength and self-control when it comes to you, because all I want to do is get you out of this club and send you to a nunnery.”
I gaped. “You wouldn’t.”
His lips curled into an amused grin. “You clearly don’t realize how fucking selfish I am.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“It means you don’t need to go grab your rosary.”
“Because I have one of those… in my go bag.” I leveled him with a glare.
His chuckle was low, sexy.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and lay against him. “Am I hurting you?”
“Immensely.”
I jerked away, but he held me against him so tight I could barely move. “I don’t want to lay here and let my stitches heal, I don’t want to touch you and not taste you, so yes this is hurting me. It may be more painful than last night, and I woke up with such a hoarse voice you’d think that I’d been at a rock concert.”
“Close, real close, more like your own torturing.” I shuddered. “Phoenix said something…”
He stilled. “What did Phoenix say?”
I was almost embarrassed. “That depends.”
“Don’t lose your nerve now, dorogaya.”
I smiled at his name for me, pulled away enough to look up into his crystal blue eyes. “I’m going to need you to keep me.”
He pressed his lips together and then our foreheads touched as he drew a finger down my jaw. “Is that what this is about? You think I’m the sort of man to see heaven in your arms and then just… toss you out?”
“Yes.” My voice broke. “Because you’ll want to keep me safe, and I know you don’t — I know that… I know it’s asking a lot, before it wasn’t real it was just to keep me safe and you don’t have to do that anymore.”
“You’re right. I don’t have to.” He was breaking my heart as he kissed my mouth softly. “I fucking want to.”
His mouth was hot.
He kissed me harder, his tongue struck slow and precise as his mouth molded against mine so effortlessly, I melted against him.
And then he said something in Russian. It sounded like he was speaking in tongues, it was the same thing he’d said to me our night together.
Only this time, when he was done, he held up something between us.
It was a ring with three bands interconnected and wrapped together like ivy, on each band was a small diamond. It looked like rose gold. I was too stunned to stay anything.
“In Russia, the tradition…” He grabbed my right hand. “…is to put it on this hand. I would buy you something bigger, something that would scar Chase’s face if you decided to punch him, but it wasn’t you. It wasn’t us.” He slid the ring onto my right third finger as tears splashed from my face onto our joined hands. “I’m keeping you, dorogaya, and I am never letting you go. Please say yes, please say you’ll choose me even though I don’t deserve it.”
“That’s the thing, Andrei. You deserve everything. You just feel too guilty to take it. I came in here willing to seduce you to the best of my ability and use everything in my arsenal so you wouldn’t send me away.” I wiped my tears. “Because the thing is, I want to keep you too. Even though you called me a number, even though I think we may fight as much as we make love. I want to keep you because your darkness is what makes your light so incredible. I just want this.” I touched his chest. “So bad.”
“And I…” He pressed a kissed to my mouth again. “Want this.” His hands grazed the front of my shirt.
And then suddenly the shirt was off my body and his left hand was roaming across my skin.
I laughed. “You’re injured.”
“I’m Russian, I’ll be fine.”
“Italian too,” I pointed out.
He stiffened, and then we both looked down at his hand, where the tattoo was cut, where his past connected to his future. “I didn’t even want to be boss to one family.”
“And now you have two,” I pointed out. “It’s like having twins.”
His head jerked up, his eyes wide. “Twins.”
“Andrei?”
“Twins,” he repeated again as if I’d just announced I was pregnant.
And then he crushed his mouth against mine like the word twin was his new code word for get naked.
“Andrei.”
He kissed me harder so I couldn’t talk, had to breathe his air as one-handed he tugged my jeans open and slid his fingertips inside.
“Okay… as impressive, mmph…” He deepened the kiss. “That is…” Damn the man knew how to work his fingers. “Maybe just a few more… seconds…”
“Open for me.” He licked my lower lip, and then I was straddling his hurt body like the most selfish person on the planet as he teased me. “This is mine, all of this.”
I bucked against his hand. “Y-yes.”
“All of you.” He spoke in Russian again. I whimpered my release as my mouth crashed against his in a kiss that felt just as good as what he’d just done.
“Marry me, dorogaya… marry me tomorrow.”
“I’ll marry you right now.” I moaned digging my hands into his hair, careful not to hit any bandaged or stitched part of him.
“Yes.” He moaned my name. “Yes.”
A knock sounded on the door.
We both froze.
Andrei’s eyes narrowed as the door knob turned. “I’m killing whoever’s on the other side of that door.”
Naturally, it was Phoenix.
“Typically you wait for the person to respond after you knock.” Andrei bit back a curse and kept me close to him. “What do you need?”
“You’re injured, take it easy.” Phoenix sighed. “And I thought I’d give you an early wedding present.”
He dropped two black folders down on the mattress.
“Wait?” I glared at Phoenix. “You said—”
Phoenix burst out laughing. “I was the one who brought the ring to him. I just thought he deserved to be seduced a bit after last night.”
Andrei started to shake.
“What?” I was ready to check every bandage. “What’s wrong?”
“You found them,” he whispered. “They’re alive?”
“Who?” I looked between them.
“The twins. My brother and sister. They’re… alive.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
Andrei
ALIVE.
They were alive.
The raw guilt that I’d done nothing while they were taken away had come back when I was getting tortured, delirious from bleeding. I remembered things I’d forcefully kept under lock and key and now I couldn’t stop remembering, her bright blond hair and chocolate eyes or the way he always had a smile for me.
I felt heavy.
Exhausted.
And every nerve ending was on fire each time Alice fussed over a bandage or touched a scar or pressed her palm to my skin.
I was ready to lose my fucking mind and risk broken bones and stitches just so I could have her naked beneath me.
I told her that.
She laughed and then abandoned me to sleep.
Like I could actually sleep when I could still smell her.
I clutched the folders in my hand and slowly rose out of bed. My jeans hung low on my hips as I made my way out of the bedroom and down the hall into the noisy living room.
“We having a party that I lived or a party planning my death?” I grumbled, leaning against the wall.
“You’re supposed to be in bed.” Alice charged toward me.
I smirked at her strength. “You really think you could make me?”
She rose up on her tiptoes and pressed a heated kiss to my mouth in front of everyone,
one that had my body burning for more, and then she pulled back as I leaned in seeking just that.
“Nice.” Tex chuckled.
“Shhh,” Chase whispered. “She’s training him.”
I gave them a middle finger behind Alice’s back and dragged another kiss from her mouth. “Five minutes then I’m locking you in my room.”
“Five minutes and you’re taking a nap,” she said, gritting her teeth.
I choked out a laugh. “Sure.” I winked and made air quotes with my fingers. “I’ll… nap.”
She scowled as a blush lit up her cheeks like fire.
The guys all chuckled while the girls seemed to simultaneously roll their eyes at me.
“You’re hurt.” Alice reached for my hand and squeezed.
I tensed when I saw the bloodied whip mark across her forearm. I’d put it there, I’d done that.
“I’m sorry.” I traced the angry red skin with my fingertip. “I’m so sorry.”
Alice just shrugged and whispered. “Worth it.”
I had no words.
I wanted to devour her next sentence and throw her against the wall. I wanted all of her right then. In that moment.
“We’re getting married,” I decided to announce awkwardly, and then she beamed up at me. I was smiling way too much with her in my presence.
“Dibs!” Mo shot to her feet. “As Tex’s wife, I get to plan, right?”
Alice scrunched up her nose. “We were thinking something really small, and soon.”
“You pregnant?” Tex said with a completely straight face.
Mo smacked him on the back of his head. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
He burst out laughing. “Look how pale Drei got. Shit, that may be my favorite moment.”
“Bastard,” I said under my breath. “I actually like kids, unlike some people.”
We all turned to Dante.
He glared. “I love kids, I’m still young, El’s still young, plus we have enough nieces and nephews as it is. Imagine if all of us popped out kids at once.”
Nixon groaned out, “Chaos.”
Phoenix eyed the folders in my hands. “So, what do you want to do?”
“About this?” I tossed the folders onto the counter. “I want to get married. I want to lock Alice in a room for at least thirty days.”
“Damn.” This from Chase. “Better set out protein bars and Gatorade.”
I ignored him. “And then I want to find them, bring them here, well not here, not the club… I want them in Chicago.”
“Surprise,” Phoenix said in a tone that didn’t seem surprised at all. “They already are.”
“Let me guess, need to know?” I crossed my arms.
He just shrugged and then looked down at the two folders. “They won’t come into the fold willingly.”
I was afraid to ask, but I asked regardless. “Why?”
“That…” Phoenix tapped his fingers against the folders. “…is a story for another time. Let’s get you married.”
He didn’t want to say in front of everyone.
Which meant it was bad.
I didn’t have time to ask because the guys were suddenly surrounding me with congratulations and shots of vodka while the wives took Alice and started talking about wedding dresses and tiaras? Really? Then again, if I was technically royalty… I shook my head. It was too much to think about.
“So, I was researching…” Sergio said. “You know, just in case.”
“Nerd.” Dante coughed.
Sergio smacked him first, Chase was next.
“As I said…” Sergio locked eyes with me. “I found some intriguing little wedding traditions in my search. Is it true we get to kidnap her?”
Tex’s eyes snapped to mine. “No shit? What else?”
“Hell,” I muttered. “I have to pay to get her back, yes, that’s true but if you haven’t noticed we’re in Chicago, not Russia.”
They ignored me while Sergio kept talking. “We get to set up an obstacle course, typically they have to get the bride from her place of residence and the wedding party sets up obstacles until he makes it to her apartment floor since we don’t live in giant apartment buildings I was going to set up a paintball field.”
I glared.
Willed him to stop talking.
But he didn’t.
And since they wanted the full Russian experience, I was told I had one week to semi-heal before I was put through hell again.
I looked across the room.
At least this time I knew the ending.
And exactly where my heaven would be standing: at the altar.
And I, the sacrifice, would finally be welcomed into heaven’s arms.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
Alice
IN MY WILDEST dreams — I couldn’t have conjured up what my wedding day would be like. Most days I thought it was out of my reach.
“It’s time.” Mo and Trace fixed my floor-length dress. It had a small train. I didn’t need anything special, but they wouldn’t let me argue. It was strapless, and because Andrei had a thing for red.
It was as red as blood.
As red as the blood we’d joined all those days ago.
Now we were making it legal on the outside the way it was on the inside.
I held the white roses in my hands and waited while the rest of the guys, all dressed in black and white tuxes, moved around the mine field of obstacles.
They went from a Ninja course to a strong man competition, then back to Ninja with paintball guns, but finally settled on more of an obstacle course that wouldn’t be too hard for Andrei to get through. He had a log he had to walk across, a net to climb, then bars that formed a high A where he had to swing onto a trampoline and try to grab a rope and yet again swing to the final mat where Tex was waiting with one of those gladiator sticks that’s used to throw someone off.
The rest of the guys were at different parts in the course, ready to boo his efforts.
“Is this really necessary?” I breathed out as I saw Nixon put his hands on Andrei’s shoulders and point him in my direction. He could have been miles away.
He was still healing, and now he had to go through more?
It didn’t seem fair.
“Tradition,” Trace said kindly from next to me. “It’s about tradition, and this is Andrei we’re talking about. He’ll thank us later.”
“Maybe.” Bee laughed and shook her head. “It’s not like the rest of us had to go through this.” She winced when she locked eyes with Luc, Chase’s wife.
She’d been tortured, not as bad as Andrei but bad enough. The fact that she had De Lange blood made me feel better about Chase’s place in all our lives, though I still felt on edge when he was around, especially since he was still hell-bent on cleansing the entire line.
For good reason.
But still.
El and Val were on the other side of Mo waiting while Renee made her way over to us, her expression amused. “Andrei’s restless. Vic had to give him two shots of vodka and even then he started yelling about how unfair it was to make him go through this after hanging from chains bleeding all over the place.”
“He’s yelling,” I pointed out. “In Andrei speak that means he’s happy.”
The girls all burst out laughing while I clung to my roses and waited for him. It was like I was waiting at the end of the aisle, only a really intense aisle.
If Andrei could make it past Tex, then Tex agreed to marry us right there on the course, if not, well we hadn’t really gotten beyond that, but I’m sure Andrei was prepared.
I gulped when Tex made his way over to the gladiator part.
The guy looked ready to rip Andrei’s head off.
Great. Would nothing be normal with these people?
I just wanted to marry him, rush into Nixon’s huge house, and celebrate with everyone, mainly with Andrei.
Andrei locked eyes with me from the other side of the field. Even far away, he was beautiful, angry, le
thal.
Mine.
I smiled brightly.
He blew me a kiss.
And I nearly died.
“Girl…” Mo elbowed me. “Anyone else proud of this one for taming the Russian beast?”
“Monster,” I corrected. “Each and every one of them are monsters in their own right. But I’d rather sleep with the monster, hold his heart close and keep it safe, than take my chances with the man.”
“Amen,” Trace agreed while the rest of the girls wiped away tears. “It’s not an easy life, but it’s so much more worth living when you realize how precious it really is.” She bent over and picked up her little girl Serena. She was our flower girl while Junior, Phoenix and Bee’s child, was our ring bearer.
Trace set Serena back down. She stuck out her tongue at Junior, whose eyes widened as he reached for one of her curls and tugged.
“Junior.” Bee pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Say sorry.”
“I not sorry!” Junior stomped his foot. “She mean!”
Trace exhaled. “Serena, don’t stick out your tongue and be nice to Junior, you’re stuck with him.”
I’d never seen a toddler’s eyes widen with so much horror in my entire life. And I wondered in that moment, if there would one day be a story there… between the two of them.
One could only hope.
“He’s starting!” Mo clapped her hands. “Man, the guy’s like a predator. Look at him run across that log.”
I sighed dreamily as he made his way across two obstacles.
Nixon and Chase heckled right along with Sergio and Phoenix. Dante stayed at the beginning with Vic. Tex raised his gladiator stick high.
Great, just great.
“He’ll be fine.” Mo winked. “Andrei and I have a plan.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
Andrei
I WAS GOING to murder all of them for putting me through this. My wounds were barely healing as I jumped onto the rope and swung. That was going to hurt later.
Sharp stinging zinged my shoulder as a stitch popped.
Son of a bitch.
I finally made it to the last part with Nixon and Chase both booing their support.
Tex was standing on the last obstacle, a stupid looking gladiator stick twisting in his hands. “You ready for me, Russia?”
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