by Kaylee, Katy
“Does it feel good, baby?” His voice was rough, and I could tell he was trying to hold back his own pleasure.
“Yes, Ash, So good… Oh!” And then with his next thrust, I was flying as intense pleasure pulsed in my pussy and radiated outward.
He growled, and his body started thrusting harder and faster, until finally, he collapsed on me. We lay together in what I thought was perfection. How many women had their first time on a beautiful beach, under the glow of the moon, with the man they loved?
We waded naked into the water and I clung to him, loving the contrast of his hot body and the cool ocean water. And then we did have sex again, and this time while there was a little rawness, there wasn’t the sharp pain when he filled me.
“You’re so fucking tight,” he groaned, as he moved faster and faster.
My body went taut as my pussy contracted and pleasure swept threw me again.
“Ah…Yes!” He levered up on his hands and began to pump hard until I was rising up and up again.
“Oh God… Ash!” I came again, and as I did, he yelled out and pumped his seed inside me again.
I jerked, and sat up in bed My body was covered in perspiration, my pussy tingling as the memory of the first time Ash and I had sex filled my dreams. I let out a groan and fell back. Why? Why did he still haunt me? Why did he still have an effect on me?
Hannah was the gift from that night, and while I loved her and wouldn’t change a thing, for the life of me, I still couldn’t figure out why neither of us had thought about birth control that night. There were times I wondered if Hannah hadn’t been conceived, what would have happened? My father wouldn’t have sent me away. I’d have stayed in the United States and gone to school, but would that have changed anything? Would Ash still have disappeared from my life without a word?
I shook my head because through all the heartache and pain I suffered, not just from Ash, but from my father’s illness and death, and now Ben’s drinking, Hannah was the one thing that brought me joy. It was likely why I couldn’t fully hate Ash. He’d given her to me.
I wondered what he’d think if he knew. He’d likely regret not using birth control. He’d probably also be angry at not knowing, but that was his fault, not mine. I tried to tell him but he’d pushed me out of his life.
Of course, that didn’t excuse my deception now. I made it worse by fucking him. What had I been thinking? But even as I thought that my body pulsed again, remembering what it was like to have him sliding in and out of me.
Annoyed with myself, I got out of bed and into the shower, hoping to wash all the remnants of Ash away. Tonight, I’d meet him for dinner to go over the contract. In one of his stupors, I’d gotten Ben to sign over authority to me to sell his part of the club. All the while he was going on and on about ‘Ash fucking his sister.’ When he was sober, he never talked about it, but I knew he was clear that I was taking care of the sale for him. But he didn’t know that I’d slept with Ash again.
If everything went right tonight, I’d sign the deal, make sure the payment was wired to the account, and then walk away from Ash forever. I told myself that it would be easy, and yet, our evening at Jet had so many wonderful moments that reminded me why I’d fallen for him six years ago. He was sweet and kind and funny. Until he left without a word after finally popping my cherry.
Even now, he hadn’t said anything about why he left. Not that I wanted to know. There wasn’t any explanation that would make it okay, so I didn’t need to hear one from him.
I got out of the shower, dressed and then went to check on Hannah. She was sitting on the floor of her room playing with her stuffed animals.
“Good morning sweetie,” I said.
“Morning mommy.” She looked up at me with her big blue eyes. “Mr. Fin is looking for treasure.” She held up her stuffed dolphin.
“Oh?”
“When he finds it, then everyone will be happy because they won’t be fighting over money.”
My heart broke. It didn’t matter how much I tried to protect her, she knew what was going on.
“Not having money can be stressful, but I bet no matter what, Mr. Fin and everyone else still love each other.”
She nodded. “Yeah.”
“How about we go out for breakfast?” Of all the meals to eat out, breakfast always seemed the most affordable. Plus, it included free refills of coffee.
“Yay!” Hannah jumped up. “I want a waffle.”
“Waffle it is, then,” I said finding some clothes for her.
When she dressed, we headed out of the townhome and walked a few blocks to the diner.
“Well if it isn’t little Miss Sunshine,” Francie, the waitress said as she came to our table.
“I’m gonna have waffles,” Hannah announced.
“Good choice. What flavor, honey?”
“Chocolate chip.”
I winced, although I wasn’t sure blueberry was much better since it was all blueberries in sugar.
“Whipped cream?” Francie asked.
“Can I mommy?”
“Why not.” Whipped cream was dairy, right? That had nutrients.
“How about you, Beth?” Francie asked.
“I’ll have eggs and bacon,” I said. I looked up at her as I handed my menu to her. “Was Ben in last night?”
She nodded, her expression a little sad. “Loaded up on coffee and toast. This time I don’t think he added anything to the coffee though.”
I hoped that meant he was making an effort to stop drinking, but I knew I couldn’t hold my breath. He’d made an effort before and it hadn’t worked out.
“Mommy, am I going to school?” Hannah asked when Francie left to turn in our order.
“Yes, this fall you’ll start kindergarten, why?” I hadn’t told her yet she’d be starting school on the west coast. Until my work with Ash was done, and the business was taken care of, I couldn’t move.
“Because kids at the park were talking about school.”
“Now that you’re five, you’ll start school. Does it sound like fun?”
She shrugged. “What do you do there?”
“Well, you count and color and stuff like that.”
She frowned. “I do that at home.”
I laughed. “Yes, but this time there will be lots of kids and a teacher.” I’d grown up going to private schools, but I’d be sending Hannah to public school. I supposed it was the snob in me that had me feeling bad about it. I had a good education, but plenty of public-school kids did just fine in life. In fact, I wondered if they might have been better prepared for the world since they had more experience with all the variety of people and cultures. I grew up in a pretty homogenous society, and I suspected that part of Ben’s and my difficulties were learning to adjust to living in a different world than what we’d grown up in. I didn’t do a load of laundry until a year ago because we always had staff. The same went for grocery shopping and taking the car in for servicing. Morgan had been a lifesaver teaching me basic living skills.
Francie brought Hannah a glass of milk and me some coffee. “Waffles will be out shortly. I asked for extra chocolate.”
“Yay!” Hannah grinned. After Francie left again, Hannah’s expression turned serious. “Mommy, how come I don’t have a daddy?”
Oh, God. Over the last year or so, she’d made comments about her father, but we’d never really talked about it.
“You do, he’s just not with us. Many kids don’t have their daddy with them. When you were little, we stayed with my mommy, Grandma McAdams, remember?”
“And then we came here with your daddy. Where’s mine?”
I swallowed. “What brought this up?”
“The kids at the park. They all have daddies. Even the ones that don’t live with them, they still get to see them. They said their daddy takes them to the park or gets them ice cream.”
“You and I do that.”
Her lip started to quiver, making my heart break. “Doesn’t he like me?”
“Why is he gone?”
“It’s just the way it is. But you’ve got me and Uncle Ben—”
“He’s always sick. He never takes me to the park or for ice cream.”
No, as uncles went, he was lacking. “He will when he’s better.”
She harrumphed, but then her waffle appeared and fortunately that distracted her from thoughts of her father. Me on the other hand, guilt stole my appetite.
After breakfast, Hannah I visited some neighborhood shops and then headed home. I’d done a pretty good job of putting my meeting with Ash out of my head, but it was now just a few hours away and I couldn’t avoid it.
“Can Morgan and I rent a movie on the TV?” Hannah asked when I told her I was going out that night and she’d have a babysitter.
“Sure.” I’d have rather she watched one of her DVDs since we needed to save every penny, but I also resented denying my five-year-old daughter a four-dollar movie. “I need to get ready to go out.”
“Can I help you pick out what to wear?” Hannah followed me as I headed upstairs.
“Okay.” Hannah had eclectic tastes, often with bright colors. It would be interesting to see what she’d pick out. “I have this.” It was the same dress I wore to the club, and I wondered if Ash would notice.
Hannah made a face as she shook her head. She looked in my closet. “How about this dress?” She gripped the bottom of a professional navy dress with white stripes crossing to make a diamond pattern. Since this was a business meeting, it seemed apropos. The only problem was that it was form-fitting on every curve from my breasts, to my waist and hips and down my legs.
“How about this jacket?” Hannah said pointing to a blue coat that was also tapered to fit close and belted. I’d never worn it with the dress, but when I put it on, it actually looked really stylish and chic.
“You should be a fashion designer,” I said to her as I looked over the outfit in the mirror.
“I want to be a ballerina and a fireman when I grow up.”
I smiled and hoped I was able to make a decision that would let her become anything she wanted.
I went into the bathroom to decide how to do my hair. There was a time when I used to spend a lot of time on my hair. Since becoming a mother, it had gotten a little shorter, although I still wore it past my shoulders, I mostly let it do it’s own thing. Fortunately, I had a little natural wave and so even when I let it dry on its own, it had some style. But since I was having a professional business dinner, I decided to put it up in a loose twist with a few tendrils hanging down. It was professional without looking prim or uptight.
“What do you think?” I asked Hannah.
She grinned. “You’re so pretty, Mommy.”
I bent down and scooped her up. “Ah thank you, baby.”
She pressed her little fingers to my cheek. “I hope I’m pretty when I grow up.”
“Ah baby, you’re beautiful now.” I hugged her, reminding myself that I was going to this dinner for her future. If I could control my hormones, in a few hours, I’d have a good chunk of cash that should go a long way to securing our finances. Because my father helped fund the startup of the club, Ben agreed that the sale of his portion would go to paying off my father’s debts, as well as helping all of us get in a better financial situation. I supposed, much would go into catching up on the mortgage for the townhome. Then we’d be able to sell it because, with this deal with Ash done, I’d be in a situation to move. Hannah and I would start over and all the drama with my family and Ash would be behind me.
9
Ash – Friday
I was incredibly annoyed with how nervous I felt about seeing Beth. If she didn’t want to see me, why was I butting my head against the wall trying to rekindle something that clearly died six years ago? I was a glutton for punishment. Or maybe I hoped that when I’d explained what happened, she’d forgive me. What I knew for sure was that any hope of love in my future resided with her. My brothers would likely accuse me of going after her to protect my inheritance, but I didn’t give a shit about that anymore. I wondered if my father realized that his actions had the opposite effect. Now I had no reason to invest my time and effort in the company because chances were, I’d never get married, which meant no kids and no inheritance. Why bother working at all? I had my own club and my own investments.
I’d been pretty sure Hunter thought the same, so it was a surprise that he not only fell in love with Grace but also planned to marry her. Kade was a committed bachelor, so I wasn’t sure why he hung around anymore. It suggested that he enjoyed his work, which he must have because he was good at it. Chase was the only one of us that drank dad’s Kool-Aid. He married Sara for the money, but in the end, he fell for her and she for him. I was happy for them and the baby they’d soon have.
I waited for Beth at the bar of Kade’s most private restaurant with a vodka tonic in hand. The contract was ready for Ben’s signature unless Beth could show me that she had the legal right to sign it. The whole situation with the two of them hadn’t made sense and so I’d done a little digging and what I found was unsettling. The McAdams empire was circling the drain. No wonder Beth was so eager to sell. While Jet was Ben’s baby, his father had put in the initial funding, which made his part in the club partly a McAdam’s venture. Perhaps that was how Beth was able to negotiate this deal. Years ago, I told Ben to pay back his father to avoid this, but I guess he didn’t. My father might be able to tell me what to do with other clubs, but not Jet. She was my baby. She’d be all my baby once this deal was done with Beth.
What bothered me was that if the company was failing, why hadn’t Ben come to me for help? I could see why Beth might keep it to herself. She had to be pissed about how I left her. But Ben and I had been fast friends until two years ago when his father first showed signs of getting ill. Of course, Beth made comments that indicated Ben didn’t think I was his friend. Sure, we hadn’t seen each other for a long time, but I still thought he was my friend. Unless he found out about me and Beth, in which case, why hadn’t he come and tried to kick my ass?
I tried to remember the last time I saw Ben. We’d been at the same party, and he’d been drinking pretty heavily and flirting with the ladies. Nothing new about that. He did seem brusque with me and I had the feeling he’d been avoiding me. At the time, I thought it was because he was trying to woo a woman and I was interrupting his efforts.
Perhaps he was upset about something else, but Ben wasn’t one to keep his feelings to himself. If he was pissed at me, he’d let me know. So the whole situation was baffling.
I wanted to blame him, but I knew our growing apart was partly my fault, just as my breaking things off with Beth had been my fault. Or more accurately, my father’s fault. Both our fathers forced me away from Beth by threatening to ruin my and Ben’s chances of opening Jet. Like a good lemming, I fell in line. Jet had been the lure by my father to get me in the family business.
At first, I resisted, but when Chase questioned my abilities, I showed him first hand what I could do and that I should never be underestimated. By the time Kade joined the business, and later Hunter after leaving the military, all of them knew I could hold my own against them and my father. Turned out, I drank the Kool-Aid too. But as I spent time with Beth, I was beginning to see what it cost me.
That expenditure walked into the restaurant, and I wasn’t the only man watching her in the stunning dress that looked both conservative and too fucking sexy at the same time. I made sure no other man got any ideas by meeting her halfway.
“We have a table in the back,” I said, guiding her toward a private area reserved for business meetings or people who didn’t want to be seen. “I’ve
talked to the chef about what’s the best today, can I order for you?”
“Sure. I’m not really hungry though. I just want to complete our business.”
Inwardly I was pissed but worked to stay calm and ignored her comment. I called over Jean-Luc, and in my best French, ordered the full seven-course meal. When she figured out we were going to be here for a while, she’d probably be pissed at me but try to hide it. What a pair we were.
To help ease her irritation, I pushed the envelope with the contract over. “I do need to see something that gives you the authority to sign on behalf of Ben and the company since the company is still an investor if you want me to transfer the money tonight. Otherwise, you can take that and bring it to me when you’ve had Ben and a company representative sign, assuming that’s not you or Ben.”
She took some papers from her purse and slid them to me as she picked up the envelope. I looked over the papers and saw that she was the signer for the company and Ben had given her authority to sign for him. I began to wonder if maybe something was wrong with him. Was he sick?
I waited and watched her as she read the contract while sipping wine from the most expensive bottle the restaurant served. She was so beautiful, but not in a fake, over the top style as many women wore. Her makeup was subtle because she didn’t need it. Her skin was like porcelain with a few little freckles on her nose and cheeks. Her hair was up, but a few strands hung in loose curls that I really wanted to reach out and touch. Her brilliant blue eyes studied the contract, and I wondered if they still turned a deeper shade when aroused. I cursed myself for not paying attention to that the other night when she fucked me in the limo.
More than anything I wondered what my life would have been like if I’d chosen her instead of Ben and bowed to the whims of our fathers? Would I be happier? Would she? Would her family’s company be doing better or would the feud that came between our fathers have erupted sooner? I had a sense that perhaps the McAdam’s troubles might have come with some help from my father.