2. Decide how serious you’re going to be about this.
If you’re doing it just for fun, or to give yourself permission to go crazy and get out of your rut, give pure pantsing a try! You might find that you like it, and that the freedom produces an altogether different (maybe better) result. If you know you’re a plotter, and you can’t stand the thought of not having a well-plotted novel done at the end of your frantic writing spree, you’ll have to be more proactive about plotting.
3. Don’t be afraid to deviate from your plot.
In a fast and furious pace of banging out as many words as humanly possible as quickly as you can, you will find that you don’t have time to sit and mull things over as soon as you hit a plot snag. Be creative, get through it, and get writing again! You can always modify your outline.
4. Try something short to start with.
I wrote a little short story after reading Stephen King’s On Writing without outlining at all, because that was the assignment he gave in the book. And you know what? The world did not stop turning. A story came out of me — and it didn’t suck (at least it didn't suck any more than most of my first drafts suck). Sometimes the best thing to do is just jump in and give it a try.
Assignment 9: Free-Writing Exercise
If you’re a plotter and you’re stuck, maybe it’s time to try something new. Let’s all try together, huh? If you have Stephen King’s book, On Writing, go get it now and turn to the part of the book where it talks about the writing assignment. (It’s in section 5 of the On Writing section.) If you don’t have it, you should probably go buy it, but if you want to do the activity with us anyway, the basic idea is to think of the news headline ESTRANGED HUBBY BEATS UP (OR MURDERS) EX-WIFE, reverse the genders in the headline, and then write that story. (Stephen King’s a little dark, so if that headline doesn't float your boat, think of another one with typical gender associations, and flip those instead.)
Don’t stop to think about it, don’t plot, just go. There are no rules about how long it has to be, and you can always revise later if you feel like it.
When you come back here after your assignment, I dare you to tell me you didn’t have a little fun.
CHAPTER NINE
How to Write for Online Readers
I’m going to be talking mainly to the non-fiction writers in this section, so if you're working on fiction, you get a bye! Feel free to check out the information below, or skip it and be on your merry way.
We don't read the way we used to. Once upon a time, we had less information to take in and more time to do it in. We could relax into a fat technical treatise or textbook, or spend days learning a new skill. These days we’re flooded with content, and we scan more than we read. We also look for short versions, nutshells, headlines, quotes, excerpts, and other ways to make sure that we’re spending time on something worth our while.
Most online readers want to take in the content at a glance. How frequently do you pick up any random magazine and read from start to finish? Rarely, I’d bet. Instead, you read the headlines on the front cover, then turn directly to the article that attracts your interest. You check it for images, pull quotes, or subheads that let you know it’s going to deliver what you want. Then you read.
Here's another example. How often do you read the copy on the back of a paperback before you page through it or decide to purchase or read it? Pretty much every time, right?
You want to help your reader make a quick decision about whether and what they'll read. Writing non-fiction — which is not always the same as writing for online readers, but for our purposes I'll lump them together — should allow your reader to get the gist, fast. Then the reader can go back and spend more time taking in content in the sections where they need to do so, or even read from start to finish if they choose.
The checklist below will give you the essentials.
1. Write less.
Nearly everyone scans, rather than reads, non-fiction. Even if your reader takes in every word, they’ll be doing it quickly, and you can help them by keeping it basic.
2. Summarize early on.
Give them a nutshell version in all the places they’re most likely to look first. At the beginning of a book, at the top of a chapter, in the beginning of a paragraph. Let them know what you’re going to be writing about, so that they will never be in doubt of where you’re leading them.
3. Use shorter paragraphs.
You would have been marked down for this in high school, but your online readers demand shorter paragraphs.
This practice supports fast scanning and breaks your content into easily digestible bites. This is not about dumbing anything down, but about feeding information more quickly and easily into the machine.
You can even write a paragraph of a single sentence!
4. Use numbered and bulleted lists.
Lists help readers feel like everything is under control. Numbers and bullet points organize new and complex information and are a great tool for helping your reader scan and take in the critical bits.
5. Make your subheads powerful and worth reading.
Avoid cryptic comments and inside jokes in your subheads, or at least most of them.
Subheads can actually form your outline or rough draft during your planning process. (That’s how this book was written). Don't worry about getting your full outline just perfect — simply get down as much as you can in chapter heading and subhead style, then flesh it out as you go.
6. Surprise and engage your reader.
You can attract interest by using unexpected statements or outrageous claims (which you then must back up) in your subheads. Try some of these tactics on for size, but remember that everything you put in a subhead should be targeted to valuable content you plan to deliver. Don’t waste anyone’s time just for the sake of showcasing your (admittedly amazing) sense of humor or an absolutely darling but unrelated quip.
Share a secret
Employ the weird (think Ripley's Believe It or Not)
Name the pitfalls
Promise something outrageous (and deliver it)
Use a joke, pun, or something funny
Say the opposite of what they expect (for example: Here's the rule, and why you should break it)
7. Bold the important stuff.
Use bold formatting to draw attention to the key points in a given section or paragraph. But be careful with it, because if you have a sea of bold bits everywhere, it just looks like flotsam, and it’s no longer serving the reader. The best place to use it is at the beginning of a paragraph or in an isolated line or section.
8. Include only useful links.
Links aren’t always good. Sometimes they are cause for distraction. Offer only links that are relevant to your content and helpful to your reader. Let ‘em Google or Wikipedia the rest.
9. Be authentic and conversational.
Write like the person you really are. There are lots of gurus out there who will tell you to leave your personality at the door, and while that may have been the Old School Rule, today readers want to feel like you’re a human (just like they are) and not a machine. We have enough machines in our lives.
Assignment 10: Down and Dirty Checklist for Non-Fic Formatting
Do a quick run-through of your book so far. You should have a working outline, with many or all of your chapters written. Now give it all a once-over with the checklist below and make note of sections you need to clean up.
For each chapter, have I:
1. Cut out most of the fluff? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
2. Summarized early on? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
3. Used short paragraphs? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
4. Included numbered and/or bulleted lists? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
5. Used powerful subheads (formatted the same throughout)? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
6. Surprised the reader? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
7. Used bolding well? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
8. Included only useful links? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
9. Been authentic and conversational? Yes / No
Chapters that still need work:
CHAPTER TEN
Why Your First Draft Is Allowed to Suck Hard
I get that no one wants to have a shitty first draft of something. You would love for the words to pour forth from you in a glittering waterfall of pure brilliance. I know. Me too. But the fact is that it doesn’t happen that way.
First drafts are shit.
But you know what? It’s okay. Your first draft is supposed to be shit. That’s why it’s called a first draft. There will be more. You don’t have to show it to anyone. No one has to know. It can be our little secret.
Overcoming Page Fright
You’re ready to go. You’re going to write that great novel or that amazing how-to book that’s been rattling around in your head for years. You have a desk, you have a typing device, you have your coffee, you got yourself some fingerless gloves that make you feel all Starving Artist Chic…
And then you sit and stare at that blinking cursor, and think of all the reasons you really can’t write it just now… Someone else already wrote something similar. People might get offended. You just remembered that pile of laundry that really has to be done right this instant. It might sound dumb when you get it out of your head and onto the page.
You’ve got (dun dun dun!) Page Fright.
So, here are my quick and easy (well, quick anyway) tips for getting over Page Fright:
1. Give yourself permission to write crap.
I think this is the best tip I’ve ever gotten. If you’re allowed to write crap, it means you’re allowed to write anything, without putting the pressure of being a Great Author on yourself. Just write what you want, and worry about whether or not it’s crap later. (Some of it undoubtedly will be crap, but you may be surprised at what is and what isn’t.)
2. Don’t think about the whole book.
Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott has a fabulous essay that talks about this. Once you’re ready to sit down and write, you have to take it one “bird” at a time. Think about this act, or this chapter, or this scene, or this one little tip. If you think about the whole book every time you sit down to write, you’re going to overwhelm yourself and head for the nearest pile of dirty laundry (assuming you find laundry easier to do than writing).
3. Remember: It’s all been done.
There is nothing new under the sun. Blah, blah, blah. You’ve heard this little pearl of wisdom before, haven’t you? Well, it’s true. There are a limited number of big story ideas (and pearls of wisdom, come to that) in the world, and they’ve pretty much all been told. So don’t worry if your plot sounds similar to someone else’s, or your how-to has already been how-told. The thing that makes books great is how they’re told.
4. Pretend no one is ever going to read it but you.
If you’re aiming to sell your book, this is obviously not going to be the case, but sometimes it helps to imagine no one will ever read it while you’re writing. That way you don’t have to censor yourself in case your grandma ever gets ahold of a copy. Plus, you can always tone it down later if you need to.
5. Just do it!
Quit your whining and write. It’s not going to kill you.
10 Things You Can Edit Later, Even If They Suck Now
Okay, so we’ve established that your first draft is probably going to suck big hairy monkey nads. Take a moment to get that mental image out of your head, and then take a moment to become one with the fact that you wrote something that sucked. It’s okay. Because, you know what? You can edit it.
Editing your draft is going to depend a little bit on what you’re writing, but here are some examples of things you can edit in your draft.
1. Character names.
I once named a character Oswald Mayer, no joke, and all my critique partners went, “Like the hot dog?”
2. Scenes that don’t fit, don’t make sense, or don’t do anything.
Hey, we all write scenes that serve no purpose or are in the wrong place, but we can fix that.
3. Clunky sentence structure.
Read it out loud. Sometimes that helps.
4. Thematic elements.
You know, that fancy crapola that makes English lit majors pee on themselves in pure glee. I never figure out my theme until the book is done, and then I go back and edit in some more thematic shit to make myself look smarter.
5. Missing pieces.
Did you forget an essential step that you feel like you still need to explain? No problem. Edit it in.
6. Spelling, punctuation, and grammar mistakes.
These are relatively boring edits, but important all the same.
7. Overused words.
My favorite overused word is “just.” Sometimes I just have to go in my draft and just mercilessly cut all the “justs” or the final product will just suck.
8. Voice.
This one may be a bit controversial because “voice” is such a touchy subject in writing, but I am of the opinion that you can go back in and punch up your “voice” to make your writing sound more like you. Of course, you have to know what you sound like first. Ask a friend.
9. Emotions.
If you’re writing a novel, sometimes the tendency is to assume that your readers are following you on your characters’ emotions, which is not always the case. I often have to go back into my drafts and punch up the feels (by showing, not telling, of course).
10. Show, don’t tell.
In non-fiction, this can mean you need more real-life examples. In fiction, this can mean you take out all the lines that start with, “She felt…” or, “He was…” and describe it in a way that shows how she felt instead.
Are there more things you could edit?
Of course. But you can’t edit nothing, and the point of this book is to get you writing, so try not to think about the editing until your draft is done. Then edit.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The Secret of Finishing Every Book: Butt-in-Chair Time
Time Management for Screw-Offs
The most common excuse I ever hear for why someone hasn’t written the book they know they can write is, “I don’t have time.”
I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s bullshit that you don’t have time. I know you’re busy. I know you have 8 bazillion things vying for your attention at any given moment. I know you have a list as long as your arm (or other part of your anatomy) of things that need to be done that you just haven’t gotten around to yet. I know.
But it’s a question of how bad you want it. Do you have time to spend two hours on Facebook every day? Probably not, but it’s fun and you love seeing what your friends are up to (and, fine, what George Takei posted today). I’m not here to make you feel guilty for that, either. Baby Jesus knows I spend enough time on Facebook that my finger-pointing would send me straight to hell. But you want that connection with your friends and your popular culture bad enough to spend time doing it. That’s the point.
So do you want to finish your book bad enough to make the time? If the answer is no, I don’t know why the fuck you’ve read this far. Go do something that will get you what you want and stop wasting your time reading this. But if you do want to finish that book, and you’re willing to make the time to do it, here are my time management tips for those of us who tend to screw off on the internet or wherever when we know we should be doing something productive.
1. Set aside a time each day that’s just for writing.
Put it on your calendar. Set a reminder on your phone. Whatever it takes to get you there. Or…
2. Don’t set aside a time each day that’s just for writing. Write all day.
Scratch notes in yo
ur notebook on the bus. Tap out a few scenes on your lunch break. I have a friend who, when she’s in the midst of writing a novel, takes her laptop everywhere. She told me once that she wrote a scene one-handed while blow-drying her hair with the other hand. That’s more talent than I have, but I love the mindset.
3. Use a tool that minimizes distractions.
Scrivener has a full-screen typing option that I love. That way I don’t see Twitter notifications popping up or that I have 3 unread messages in my inbox. You can also just go someplace without wifi, but good luck finding one anymore.
4. Have a writer hat.
Or gloves. Or a sweater. Something that you wear only when you’re writing. This serves two purposes: (1) If it’s a really fun thing, it’s a reward just for sitting down to write. (2) It helps you get in writer mode faster. It’s like the whole Pavlov thing, except instead of slobbering when you hear the bell, you’re writing when you put on the hat. It’s a shortcut to get some words out, no matter how little time you have to get “in the zone.”
5. Don’t wait to get “in the zone.”
We’ve already talked about magical fairy farts and unicorns and shit, and the point is that you don’t need them in order to write. Do not wait for inspiration, do not wait to “feel like” writing, do not put it off, even if you would rather go to your own personal hell (mine is the grocery store) than write that day.
6. Tell people you’re a writer.
Then, if you don’t write, you’ll be riddled with crippling guilt. And the idea is that the crippling guilt will make you start writing again… Use this one with caution because sometimes crippling guilt is just crippling, and not motivational. You’ve been warned.
Bagels, Dirty Limericks, and Martinis: The Badass Guide to Writing Your First Book (Badass Writing) Page 7