Gillian smiled at the banter between the two of them, but she was surprised to see Madison had followed Allie in. The smile fell from her lips when she could see that her daughter had been crying. Not that her daughter wasn’t a sensitive person—it had just been a while since her daughter showed her any emotion other than a nasty attitude. Once again cursing the fact that she couldn’t rush to the person she loved, she took her good arm and nudged Jake off the bed.
Jake didn’t question her; she knew he figured it out. He gently got up, and Gillian raised her hand to beckon her daughter closer. After a moment of hesitation, Madison started crying and moved toward her. Gillian felt like she was coaxing a scared animal, afraid it would run off and disappear when all she wanted to do was touch it. When Madison was standing next to the bed, Gillian was dying inside at the sight of her tears, so she just patted the open space next to her. Madison, still quiet, carefully sat down and laid her head in her mother’s lap. All Gillian could do was console her daughter by stroking her hands through the long, dark, wavy strands so similar to her own and say, “I'm okay, sweetie. I'm fine, I promise.”
Madison just stayed there and wrapped her arms around Gillian’s legs and relaxed. It was almost surreal to her to see her daughter like this, and she knew this was probably as close to an apology as she going to get. Well, it was good enough for her. She looked up to Allie and Jake, as they watched the exchange with a look of awe on their faces. Apparently, Gillian wasn’t the only one who was aware of her daughter’s animosity toward her.
She smiled at them and said, “Well, this one isn’t going anywhere, so see if you can sneak in another one for me to see.” With a nod, Allie went to retrieve another, and Jake took up the seat next to her bed. The rest of her family came through and left, all while Madison stayed curled up with her head in Gillian’s lap. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
After three long days in the hospital, Jake was finally able to take Gillian home. He knew she was way past ready to get out of there, but he assumed that the doctor was keeping her longer than necessary. The doctor and the rest of his staff clearly had cared a little more for Gillian than their average patient, and even though she wanted out of there, he was glad they kept such a close eye on her. Her shoulder was feeling better every day, but she still had lots of recovery time ahead of her. Jake was thankful that her body wasn’t showing any signs of aborting the pregnancy, which the doctor said was a normal risk for any woman, let alone a woman who had experienced the trauma that she did.
He recalled the long conversation he had with Gillian about making sure she didn’t disregard any possible symptom, as far as her pain or healing process. Jake wasn’t an idiot, and his training told him that if she were to start cramping, there was nothing that could be done to save the pregnancy. And damn, did he want to make sure nothing happened to it. It was hard not to get excited about the pregnancy; just the fact that she conceived when she wasn’t supposed to be able to told Jake that it was meant to be. But he knew the risks, so for now, he would take it one day at a time.
Jake had everything prepared for her homecoming and was just getting back to the hospital with a change of clothes that Allie had packed for her. He still had a little anxiety over being away from her, but felt she was in good hands since the nursing staff barely took their eyes off her. If she hadn’t specifically requested the items he carried with him now, he wouldn’t have left her at all. Fortunately, that special treatment Gillian was getting as a patient here rolled over to him as well. Since he wouldn’t leave her at night, they brought in a bed for him to sleep on—not that he wouldn’t have just slept on the floor, or even standing in the corner, if he had to. He wasn’t joking with her when he said that he didn’t want to let her out of his sight.
When he closed his eyes, he could still see what she looked like covered in blood as she sat propped up against that wall. A cold shiver worked its way up his spine as he threw himself back to that moment, but he quickly shook it off. Yeah, he knew that image would stay with him for a while to come, but it had only happened three days ago—it was still too fresh. Until he got over that, he would just have to stay as close to her as possible.
Once arriving on her floor, his anticipation increased as he stepped off the elevator. Turning the corner toward her room, he found Logan sitting in a chair outside her door—in the same position he had been in each and every time he came to the hospital with the kids. He was hunched to the side, somber expression on his face, his chin resting in one hand. Jake hadn’t heard him speak since the shooting, not that Jake was seeking him out for full conversations or anything.
No, as much as Jake wanted to inflict pain on the guy for everything that had happened, he knew he didn’t have to. Logan was punishing himself enough. He knew that his actions set what happened to Gillian in motion. Why attack a man when he was already at rock bottom? As Jake approached, Logan looked up and made eye contact with him, then immediately looked down. Jake didn’t like seeing his friend look like this, but there really wasn’t anything he could do about it; he would have to work that out on his own. However, he did need to address the issue that Logan had yet to see Gillian, and she was asking about him. She was worried about Logan, therefore, Jake was going to try and do something to help alleviate her worry.
Pulling up the chair next to Logan, Jake set her bag down on the floor beside it before taking a seat. Logan didn’t say anything to him—just kept his head down. It was the first time that Jake noticed the man hadn’t shaved in days and pretty much looked like shit. Shaking his head at that he asked, “You go in and see her yet?”
Logan sighed and shook his head in response. Jake didn’t like the fact that Logan would worry Gillian even more if she saw him like this, so he decided it was time to try and snap Logan out this mood. “Good, ‘cause you look like shit man. When was the last time you showered and shaved? You can’t go in and see her like this, looking like that.”
Turning his attention toward Jake, Logan finally spoke, “I'm not going in to see her, so don’t worry about it.”
“Why did you come here if you weren’t going in to see her?”
“The kids. I brought Madison here to be with her.”
“Okay, good. Now go home, clean yourself up, and get back over to her place so she can see that you’re okay,” Jake demanded of him.
Logan looked surprised by Jake’s order and asked, “What? Why?”
The desire to smack the man he had known since high school was hard to control as Jake realized he had to spell it out for the guy. Once again shaking his head at the man, “You know for someone who was married to her for as long as you were, you sure don’t know her, do you?”
Jake could see the heat and anger rise in Logan’s eyes as he absorbed what Jake said. He was glad that he had another expression other than pathetic—this version of him was easier to tolerate. So it didn’t bother Jake when Logan growled at him, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Jake?”
“It means that if you knew Gillian at all, you would know that she‘s been worried about you, and if she saw you like this, it would only upset her more. Now quit being a selfish asshole and snap the fuck out of it! Go home, clean up, and come over to see her. Your front door is now fifty yards from her front door, so the effort is minimal.”
Logan slumped down in his chair, but Jake wasn’t sure why. After a few moments of silence, Logan said in a low, pained voice as he hung his head again, “I don’t deserve to see her, Jake. I know that. So I'm not going to pretend that I belong anywhere within ten feet of her.”
“I'm not going to argue with you there, man; you don’t deserve to be within ten feet of Gillian. You’re lucky that my desire to physically harm you has lessened over the past three days. Partially because I can see that you are well aware of how at fault you are, but that’s just about us. This needs to be about Gillian. She wants to see you; she wants to know you’re all right. You know that
she worries about her family, and just because you aren’t her husband anymore, doesn’t change the fact that you were. So pull your head out of your ass for a minute and see that this is about her, not you.”
Jake couldn’t see Logan’s face, but he assumed he was processing what Jake said. It was irritating to think he had to convince him that he needed to suck it up for Gillian, so he brought out the big guns. “You owe me this, man.”
Once again, Logan turned to Jake with a look of surprise and confusion. Jake had no qualms with throwing this out at him. “I'm sure you know by now that I love that woman in there. A woman who happens to be pregnant with my child …” Jake paused and lowered his voice to express more of the anger he was feeling about the subject, “… and that pregnancy is now in jeopardy because of your indiscretions. She was fucking shot because of you, and now I risk losing a child that I never even thought was possible. So … you fucking owe me.”
He could see in Logan’s eyes the moment realization dawned on him. With a complete shift in his expression, Logan nodded his head and stood up. Jake picked up the bag from the floor and faced his old friend; one he hoped could be his friend again in the future. They stood there silently staring at each other before Jake said, “We’ll take Madison home with us. You go get cleaned up and come over. I'm pretty sure Sean, Morgan, and Allie will already be there with the kids.”
Logan just nodded his head again and turned to head toward the elevators. Just to make sure the guy came over later, Jake added, “I’ll be sure to tell her that you’ll be there.”
Logan threw a one- sided smile over his shoulder and said, “I'm sure you will.” And then he disappeared around the corner.
Not wanting to waste another second, Jake made his way into Gillian’s room. He laughed at the sight of Madison standing on top of the hospital bed, above her mother. She was apparently trying to do her mother’s hair. When they heard him, Madison turned and explained herself. “It’s the only way I felt I could work with all this hair without hurting her shoulder.”
“Please tell me she isn’t doing something to my hair that will make people laugh and point.”
Laughing again, he reassured her, “Not at all. Besides, they will be too busy staring at that bandage to notice your hair.”
Madison giggled from her perch on top of the bed, “Good one, Uncle Jake.”
Gillian just snorted and said, “Don’t encourage him, Maddie. We don’t want him to get out of control like your aunt.”
“I don’t think anyone can get that out of control, Mom.”
Jake circled his way around the bed to see Gillian’s face. She was smiling up at him from her perch on the side of the bed, and he couldn’t help but see how genuine that smile was. Whether it was for him, or the fact that her daughter was bonding with her, he didn’t know, but he loved it. Leaning down to meet her lips, he pressed a simple kiss to them, “How are you feeling, beautiful?”
“I'm perfect,” she said with a sweetness that he would never get enough of.
“Glad to hear it, ‘cause I’ve come to spring you from this joint. Has the doctor signed you out yet?”
Gillian nodded as Madison spoke for her, “Yes, she signed her discharge papers, and the doctor said she isn’t supposed to take her arm out of that sling for four more days—whether she begged us or not. And she needs her bandages changed every day.” The young one smiled at him like she was proud of being able to provide the information.
“Hey, just whose side are you on?” Gillian whined at her daughter. Jake laughed at them again. It was great seeing them like this; it wasn’t cool that it took Gillian getting shot for it to happen, but then again, it might just have been because Allie let the cat out of the bag about why her parents were getting divorced.
“She is on your side, of course. Why else would she provide important information that you would have otherwise ignored? But it doesn’t matter. I would’ve asked the doctor myself, since he gave me the number to his cell.” Jake smirked at her as he said the last part.
She groaned at him and said, “Okay, fine, you guys win. But I really want to take it off, it’s rubbing me in all the wrong places.”
“How about once we get you all settled in at home, I will change it and see if I can make it more comfortable for you,” he suggested.
She managed to give him look that was somewhere between pouty and manipulative as she said, “Are you sure I can’t talk you out of it? How ‘bout I promise to not move my arm at all?”
Shaking his head, he replied, “Nice try, beautiful, but I’m not falling for it. I will make sure you are comfortable, but you will have that arm of yours secured to your body for four more days.” Then he bent forward and playfully said, “And what kind of example are you setting for your daughter here. Trying to ignore the doctor’s orders like that. Would you let her get away with that?”
“She most certainly would not!” exclaimed Madison as she got down from the bed. “Besides, Mom, you will be in bed the whole time resting, so you won’t even notice your bandages.”
Realizing that she couldn’t win, she smiled at her daughter and said, “Fine, but just so you know, I plan on making you all watch whatever chick flick I feel like watching ‘til you cave, and let me have my way. I'm thinking I will start with season one of Sex In The City as soon as we get home.”
Jake and Madison groaned and looked at each other. He said to her, “I can do it if you can do it.”
“Oh, please, I stand at the fifty yard line, behind a bunch of boys and pretend to be excited about the fact that they are playing a stupid game. I'm sure I can handle pretending to enjoy a show my mom likes to watch while sitting on my butt. Besides, that’s what my phone is for.”
Jake really liked this Madison; she was far more fun to be around than the other one. Laughing inwardly he said, “Well then, Madison, how about you go down to the nurses’ station to see about a wheelchair for your mother here. I’ll help her get dressed.”
“I can help her get dressed,” Madison offered, and even though Jake could probably let her do it, he wanted to.
He was about to tell her that was fine when Gillian spoke up, “Thanks anyway, kiddo, but Jake should probably help me. His training will be helpful with my arm strapped to my body. Is that okay with you?”
The girl offered them a smile, said okay, and left the room. Gillian turned to Jake and said, “You clammed up on her there, afraid to tell my daughter that you just wanted to cop a feel.”
Laughing at that, he said, “Oh, does that mean I can? ‘Cause I wouldn’t mind a little bit of play time with my woman.” Sliding his arms carefully around her body, she nestled against his chest as best she could with her arm. When he heard her take a deep breath against his neck, he smiled.
“Did you just smell me?”
“I sure did. It’s one of the best smells ever,” she said in a breathy voice, which only caused his body to react.
But he understood what she was saying, and replied, “I know exactly what you mean, beautiful.”
After a few moments, she pulled her head away and said, “Can you please get me out of here? I'm dying to lay in my own bed.”
“Of course, let’s get you changed so I can do just that.”
“Are you staying with me?” she asked in a tentative voice, which made him give her a questioning look.
“Again, I will ask, what part of you are mine did you not understand? You’re kind of stuck with me lady, so deal with it.” Placing a quick peck to her nose he continued, “Hopefully the fact that I come with an adorable eight year old should sweeten the deal enough for you.”
“And how many times do I have to tell you, that boy is already mine.”
“I’m kind of glad you feel that way, ‘cause he is quite fond of you, too, beautiful.”
“Like I said, he is already mine. Now help me get dressed so I can get home and see my boys.”
With that final request, Jake helped Gillian from her hospital clothes and into som
ething comfortable and easy to get on over her arm. They finished when Madison returned and asked where her father was. Jake responded to the questioning look from both of them, “He went home to get cleaned up, and said he will meet us at the house when we get there.”
Madison smiled and went to help retrieve her mother’s belongings. There were flowers and balloons and various other things sent to her by others, so it took her a few moments to get things gathered. As Jake directed Gillian to the wheelchair, she asked him quietly, “Is he really coming by the house?”
He nodded at her and said, “If he doesn’t come on his own, I will drag him over.”
That earned him another one of his favorite smiles, so he bent over to steal a kiss. When he stood up she said, “Thank you.”
His only response could be, “Anything for you, beautiful.”
~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~
Gillian couldn’t be happier than she was now. She was home. Out of that damn hospital and surrounded by her things. Even though she worked there, it was a completely different feeling being a patient stuck there versus being an employee stuck there. She prayed that when it came time to go back to work, it didn’t bother her to be there. There was certainly some anxiety when she thought about being there, in that corridor, outside the x-ray department, but again she hoped it would lessen and not be a problem for her. She loved her job, and she certainly didn’t want the fucked up shit that happened all because of an affair affect her ability to keep that part of her life. A little bit of anger rose to the surface as she recalled all the circumstances involved. Clearly, Logan needed to make sure his future mistresses didn’t have crazy husbands. Laughing to herself at that thought, she shook her head and tried to dispel all thoughts of Slutty McWhore and her husband, Batshit Crazy.
She had been home for a little while now, and she had yet to see Logan. Gillian was sure that Logan was avoiding her because he felt guilty, and while he should feel guilty, she also refused to let that affair take away the friendship she had with him. It was crucial to their future as parents, and she knew he needed to get past it. If Jake wasn’t hovering nearby, she would march herself next door and demand his attention. She was considering sending her daughter over there to get him so that they could get it out of the way before the rest of their group of friends showed up. There was talk of a turkey that was already cooked, and all the fixings were on their way over since Thanksgiving was yesterday, and they hadn’t had a big family gathering. As she was about to call for Madison, she heard a knock on the door and then it opened. There was Logan, standing in what was his front door, looking at her with an expression she would always remember. The pain and shame that was evident told her exactly why he hadn’t come around while she was in the hospital. She knew he was lurking nearby in the hall, but wouldn’t come in to see her. His hair was still wet, and Gillian could smell his soap and aftershave, telling her he had just showered. The look of discomfort he had told her he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to enter, so she told him so. In an attempt to lighten the mood she said, “You can come in, you know, I still don’t bite.”
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