by Kasey Belle
“It does. Even the strongest of us. I should probably start at the beginning, so you understand the depth of my loss. I was orphaned when I was five. My parents died in a car accident. I wasn’t with them. I was at home with a sitter. My mom and dad had gone out to celebrate her birthday. They were hit by an old man who suffered a heart attack while driving and he lost control of his vehicle. Child Protective Services tried to locate my next of kin but were unsuccessful. I’d never met anyone from either my mom or my dad’s family and they never mentioned them. I think my grandparents were dead, but I’m not sure. Anyway. My dad was an attorney. His partner, Malcolm Hendrix and his wife Eileen petitioned for temporary custody of me. Their daughter Betsy and I were best friends. Eventually, the Hendrix’s adopted me. Betsy and I were so excited, because we were not only best friends but now real sisters.” She smiled. “It was our favorite game. Pretending we were sisters.”
Nikki took a shuddering breath and stared out over the landscape before focusing on the mountains in the distance. Jim placed his hand over hers and entwined their fingers. “We did everything together, went everywhere together. We were in the same grade, took all the same classes, liked the same boys, but we never competed against each other. We were a team. If she had a wicked idea, I knew how to implement it, so we wouldn’t get caught.”
“After we graduated, Betsy wanted to go into the military. I didn’t. I wanted to go to nursing school. She wanted to do both. It was the only time we didn’t agree on what we should do. She refused to budge. Said it was something she had to do. I joined because the thought of her going alone scared me. She needed someone to watch her back.”
“Unfortunately, we weren’t stationed together, which totally sucked. She ended up in Georgia at Fort Benning. I was in Colorado at Fort Carson. During those first few years we were in, Betsy met Mark Sanford. She’d been with him for almost a year when I finally met him. I didn’t like him, there was something wrong with him. I begged her to break up with him. Next thing we know she’s pregnant with Casey. She stayed with him for a while.” Nikki paused. She was getting sidetracked. Betsy and Mark’s relationship wasn’t important to this story. “Anyway. She eventually left Mark. Thank fuck she never married the bastard. Casey was still a toddler when we were deployed to Afghanistan.”
“We weren’t on the same team but were stationed at the same hospital. It was like old times except for Casey. It was hard on Betsy to be away from her, but grandma and grandpa were on the case. We’d both decided it would be our first and only deployment. We would resign our commissions when our contracts were up and get out. We had less than three months left on our deployment when she volunteered for a humanitarian mission to render aid and supplies to a remote clinic. I was so pissed at her for that. I went to the commanding officer and volunteered to go with her. Explaining two female medical personnel would be better than one considering most of the patients were usually women or children. We’d cut the time in half. My request was approved.”
Nikki blinked back tears and rubbed her chest. Would the ache ever go away? “Everything started off fine. The trip there was boring as hell. That should have been our first clue.” She told him about pulling up to the clinic and how they helped the doctor treat patients. Nikki took a few moments to gather herself before she explained what happened as they left the clinic and came under attack. She told him how she killed a few of those murderous fuckers. Then, about Betsy and her final moments. How Nikki had held her as she bled out in the sand. Of how she promised to raise Casey. When she ended her story, she began to cry. And not a nice, quiet cry, but an all-out ugly cry complete with wrenching sobs, pouring tears, gasps for air, and snot. If it hadn’t been so cathartic, Nikki would have been embarrassed as hell.
****
She was killing him. Her deep wrenching sobs shredded his heart. Jim held on while she got it all out, hating himself because that was all he could do. Sometimes the horrific had to be spoken aloud for a person to begin the healing process. Oh, he didn’t think it would be easy nor did he believe she would ever heal completely. The memories would stay with her forever but talking it out and time would put some distance between her and the pain.
He felt helpless and clueless having never experienced any real type of loss. His grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, and siblings were still with him. All of them led full, healthy lives.
Nicolette was so damn strong. Jim didn’t think he would be if he experienced the loss she had. He had never felt so much pride in another person as he did Nicolette. He whispered words of support and rubbed her back until she finally settled.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered against his chest.
He kissed the top of her head. “Don’t be. I’m glad I was here.”
She sniffled and sobbed a laugh. “I totally ruined your shirt.” She brushed her hand over the wet fabric.
Jim looked down and chuckled. She wasn’t wrong. “It’ll wash. I may need to run it through twice, but eventually all that snot should come out. I hope.” He winked. It pulled a laugh from her. He stood and held out his hand. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you inside. You can splash some water on your face while I fix you something to drink.” She had to be dehydrated after all that crying.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. I want to.” She took his hand, and he helped her up. The shy smile and sweet thank you she gave him melted Jim’s heart. He so wanted to kiss those lush lips. Unfortunately, he needed put that on hold for now. She was too emotionally raw, and he didn’t want to take advantage of her vulnerable state.
He followed Nikki inside. She headed down the hall and he went to the kitchen. He had a glass of iced tea waiting on her when she came looking for him.
A blush stole her cheeks when she spotted him at the counter. “You don’t need to feel embarrassed. That was a lot to hold inside. Eventually it had to come out and I’m glad I was there when it did.”
“Thank you, again.” She took a long drink from her glass.
She looked less weighed down by the past. Jim felt pride knowing he’d been a part of that.
Nicolette set the empty glass on the counter and took a deep breath as if she were about to jump off a cliff into deep water. “Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? I’m not making anything fancy, just chicken and rice casserole.”
Dinner? He wanted to shout ‘Hell, yes!’, but instead kept his response low-key. She didn’t need to know how eager he was. Jim rubbed his belly and made yummy noises. “I happen to love chicken and rice casserole. I would really like to have dinner with you and the Squirt.”
She snickered at his nickname for Casey. “We usually eat around six-thirty.”
Jim rinsed out both his and Nicolette’s empty glasses and placed them in the dishwasher. “If I’m gonna make it on time I better get back to work. Are you sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine.” She walked him to the door.
Nikki opened the door and looked up at him with those big golden-brown eyes. He couldn’t resist her any longer. Taking a chance, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her sweet lips. She gasped at the contact but didn’t push him away, so he allowed himself to linger for a moment.
He stepped back and shot her a wink. “I’ll see you tonight, Nicolette.” He sauntered off toward the barn. He could feel her eyes on his back, but he didn’t dare turn around. Jim wasn’t sure he could resist going back for more if he did. He worked the rest of the afternoon feeling a happiness settle in his soul that hadn’t been there for a very long time if ever.
Chapter 11
Nikki picked Casey up from school. Her little girl chattered about the games they played at recess and how her new friend Marie invited her over to her house that following weekend to play. Nikki made a mental note to call the girl’s mother since they hadn’t officially met yet.
“There is this boy named Stevie in my class. Some boys were picking on him and I told them to leave him alone.” Casey folded her arms over her chest an
d glared out the window. “Big jerks.”
That had to be Rainbow’s son. Odds were there wasn’t more than one Stevie in Casey’s class. “I think I met his mom today. She owns the coffee shop. Why were they picking on him?”
“They said he was wearing girl’s clothes. I told them there was no such thing. Clothes are clothes. He had on a sparkly purple shirt with the picture of a unicorn on it. It was really cute. I told him so and asked if I could borrow it sometime. He smiled so big, Momma. You should have seen it.”
Nikki had never been prouder of Casey than she was in that moment and told her as much. She taught her daughter to judge a person by their actions alone, none of that other shit mattered, not their religion, race, or orientation. Who a person was at their core was what made them good or bad. But, to know Casey took her words to heart and applied it? Pure, unadulterated pride.
“I told Stevie he could play with me and Marie. We’re all best friends now. I thought he was gonna cry when I said that. He can be himself with us and doesn’t need to worry about those idiots. We’ll protect him. Why are people so mean to someone they consider different?”
That was a good question. One, unfortunately, Nikki didn’t have an answer for other than some people are assholes. “I don’t know, baby. But, what matters is not their actions but your reaction. The fact that you stood up for Stevie when you saw him being mistreated is what will make this world a better place in the long run. People turning a blind eye is what gives hateful jerks power.”
“Stand and fight for the greater good, like you and Mommy did.”
Nikki was still a bit raw from this morning and Casey’s words hit her right in the feels. She had to blink back tears. “That’s right.” Nikki cleared her throat and changed the subject before she bawled like a baby and scared the shit out of Casey. “Guess who’s coming over for dinner?”
“Who?” Casey asked her eyes bright with excitement.
“Mr. Jim.”
Casey squealed. “Yay! I miss him when I’m at school.”
“He’ll be over at six-thirty. I’ll need your help to make sure the house is picked up and your room looks halfway clean.”
“Okay.”
Nikki glanced at Casey in the rearview mirror. That was too easy. Usually the words clean and room in the same sentence were met with frowns and grumbles. Not that Nikki would bring it up. Her little girl’s quick acquiescence was like seeing a unicorn, best not to speak unless you wish to scare it away.
When they returned home, Casey went straight to her room, not bothering with an afternoon snack or the television. Nikki snickered to herself. Maybe she should invite Jim over for dinner every day. Casey’s room would forever be immaculate.
“He’ll be here every day once we mate.” Fox’s tail twitched as she pranced. “Do you have a timeline on that?”
“No.”
Fox harrumphed. “This would be so much easier if he were a shifter.”
“Maybe. It’s a moot point. We’ll see how it goes.”
“I can help.”
“No, you crafty bitch, you can’t. Baby steps.”
Fox rolled her eyes so far back that her irises disappeared. “Jim is our mate. He feels the attraction. The kiss he gave us was proof of that.” Fox sighed. “It was so perfect. I can still taste him.”
Nikki licked her lips. She could too. “Yes, it was. But, there is one slight problem.”
“What’s that? He knows about our PTSD and didn’t run away screaming when we blubbered all over him.”
“He doesn’t know what we are. He has no clue preternatural beings exist. We nust handle the situation carefully. He’s human. They can be weird about stuff they deem abnormal.” Nikki couldn’t help but think about what Casey told her on the way home. Humans often feared and lashed out at what they don’t understand.
“Normal is overrated. Besides who decides what’s normal?” Fox scoffed.
“Judgmental dicks in society, unfortunately.”
“Jim isn’t judgmental, nor does he strike me as squeamish, cowardly, or as you put it, dickish. Our reveal will go just fine, especially, if you tell him while wearing that little black dress hanging in our closet.”
“I haven’t worn that dress in five years.”
“Bow-chica-wow-wow sexy does not go out of style.” Fox wagged her eyebrows.
“It is also not appropriate for a casual dinner that includes your seven-year-old.”
Fox dropped her belly and placed her head on her paws. “You take the fun out of everything.” Her sullen tone wasn’t lost on Nikki.
“Don’t pout. We need to be smart about this. We’ll follow his lead and tell him when the time is right.”
Jim showed up fifteen minutes early with a bouquet of wild flowers. Many of them she recognized from the plants that grew around Dakoda’s cabin. Nikki swallowed as she fought the urge to swoon. Fox however did that very thing.
They ate and laughed. Jim entertained them with funny stories from his rodeo days. He caught Casey up on the puppies’ progress and her daughter hinted once again at wanting one. After they cleaned up the kitchen they settled on the couch with Casey between them and watched a family friendly sitcom.
Nikki glanced at the clock on the side table. “Casey, it’s eight-thirty. You need to get a quick bath. It’s past bedtime.”
Casey’s lower lip poked out in the perfect pout. “Aww. Do I have to?”
“Yes.”
Jim grinned and tapped Casey on the nose. “You’ll see me tomorrow.”
Casey’s down-turned lips curved into a smile. “You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Don’t go anywhere. I want to say goodnight.” Casey hugged Jim and ran off.
He followed Casey’s retreating from until she was out of sight then turned his attention to Nikki. “If you need to help her. I don’t mind.”
“She can handle the bath part on her own. After she’s done, I’ll tuck her in and read the next chapter in her book.”
“Did you want me to go after I say goodnight to Casey?” He placed his hand over hers. “It won’t hurt my feelings. I don’t want to mess up your routine.”
Nikki pressed her lips together to keep from laughing as Fox chanted. “Stay. Stay. Stay.”
“You can stay. If you don’t mind waiting around.”
“I don’t.” He took her hand in his and caressed her knuckles with his thumb. “I would like to stay, at least for a while.”
Casey finished her shower in record time. She ran into the den, dressed in mismatched pajamas, with her wet hair dripping onto top. Nikki looked pointedly at her hair. “Did you at least dry the rest of you?”
Casey tilted her head and responded with a sassy, “Yes.” She flashed a grin. “I didn’t want to miss, Mr. Jim.”
“I told you I wasn’t going anywhere, crazy girl.”
Her little girl shrugged a shoulder. “I didn’t want to take too long. You might have thought I forgot about you and left.”
Jim shook his head. “That wouldn’t happen.”
Nikki snatched the towel and comb from her hand. “Sit on the floor so I can dry your hair and detangle it.”
When Nikki finished with Casey’s hair, Jim held his hand out to her. Casey readily took it. He tugged until Casey stood between his knees. He cupped her chin and looked her square in the eyes. “There’s something you need to know about me, Ms. Casey. You got your ears on?”
She nodded with a wide toothy smile. “I’m listening.”
“If I say I’m going to be somewhere or do something, you can rely on it. I don’t say things I don’t mean, and I don’t make promises I won’t keep.”
Casey threw her arms around Jim’s neck. “Okay, Mr. Jim. I believe you.” She kissed his cheek. “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Did you brush your teeth?” Nikki asked as she laid out Casey’s clothes for the next day.
“Yes, ma’am. All clean. See.” Casey bared her teeth making Nikki chuckle.
“Very nice.” Nikki lifted the corner of the bed covers so Casey could climb in.
“Momma?”
“Hmm?”
“Is Mr. Jim your mate?”
The question caught Nikki by surprise and she choked on her own spit. “Why would ask that?”
Casey pulled a face. “You both look at each other with googly eyes when you think nobody’s looking.” She rolled her eyes at their stupidity.
Nikki wasn’t doing as good a job at hiding her feelings as she thought. Good to know. There was no use denying what they both knew was true. “Yes, he is.”
“So, does that mean Mr. Jim is going to be my daddy?”
“If he accepts us.”
A brilliant smile lit Casey’s face. “Good. I like Mr. Jim. He never says no when I want to bother him.”
“That’s always an important trait.”
“I know right?” Casey snuggled under the covers. “Are you going to tell him that you’re a fox?”
“I kind of have to, don’t you think?”
Casey thought about that for a moment. “I suppose it’s only fair. But, what if he decides he doesn’t like us anymore after you tell him?”
“Then we must accept that. But, the thing you need to remember is, Jim is my mate. Fate chose him. The chances that he will reject me or us are slim. It may take him time to come to terms with the fact that the world is far more complex than he believed. If that happens, we will need to be patient and give him the time he needs to come to terms with that.”
“Okay.” Nikki reached for the book on the nightstand, but Casey stopped her, opting out of reading the next chapter about the boy with the lightning bolt scar and he who shall not be named. She said it was rude to leave Mr. Jim alone. Nikki promised to read two chapters tomorrow night as a reward for Casey’s selflessness.
Jim was on the couch watching something sports related on the television when she returned. He muted the sound and shot her a smile before patting the empty cushion next to him. “Join me?”
She curled her feet under her angling her body, so she could look at him.