“Hell, yes we’re ready,” Styx grabs his hand again and shakes it hard. “I do have to let you know that this isn’t our regular singer,” Styx says.
“I’m well aware of that. I’ve been following your band for months. It’s not a particular singer, it’s the whole package. But, we’ll want the song you just did on your first album,” he insists. Styx looks at me as though he’s been gut shot. I smile ear to ear and give him a confirming nod.
His smile grows, “I’m sure we can work that out, Mr. Michaels.” They arrange a time for Monday and Mr. Michaels is headed back out into the club.
When Jade got sick, they took her to one of the dressing rooms to lie down and Jax has gone off to check on her. He comes running back to us, “Styx, man, Jade isn’t good at all.” He’s a mess. “We have to get her to Mama J,” he continues.
“Damn it. Not again,” Styx barks and everyone runs to Jade. We find her completely out of it, half laying in the floor and half on a chair. “Come on, Jax. Help me get her in the van,” Styx orders because Jax is so distraught, he can’t put thoughts together. They pack her to the van and everyone jumps in.
“We’ll follow in Blade’s car,” I tell them before they tear out of the parking lot.
Mama J is a large, black woman with graying hair. She looks to be near sixty and she is very outspoken, but you can tell she has a heart of gold. She immediately begins taking care of Jade. Taking her blood pressure, checking her heart rate and pupils. You would swear she was a doctor. I find out she’s a retired RN and Jax is her grandson. Evidently, Jade has been at the overdose point before and Mama J has always pulled her through it.
Jax is so worried; all he can do is pace and wring his hands. “Jax honey, you’re gonna wear a hole in my floor if you don’t settle down. This child’s got her demons and they’re devouring her. She has to make the decision to fight them. You can’t do it for her,” she tells him. “She’ll pull through this one. Just gonna have to watch her for a while,” she says before she heads for the kitchen.
All the sudden, vomit shoots from Jade like a geyser. “Raise her up. Don’t let her aspirate,” Mama J orders as she comes running back into the room. Jax is on it before the words get out of her mouth. Jade is still out of it and she doesn’t even flinch. She’s as limp as a dish rag and she has vomited all over herself. “You can’t leave her like that. Get the child cleaned up,” she barks at Jax. Jax just gives a confirming nod and Styx comes over to help him carry her to the bathroom.
“I’ll help,” I insist.
“Me too,” Donna chimes in. It’s the first words she’s spoken in over an hour. The look on her face is showing the same fear I’m feeling inside.
Once in the bathroom, Styx steps out and we begin to undress Jade. I start sliding her arms out of her long sleeve shirt and I can’t help but wonder why she’s wearing long sleeves in the summer. I see it then, and can’t stop my gasp. “Jax,” I whisper to get his attention. There are track marks all down her arms.
Jax turns her loose, falls back on the wall and puts his head in his hands, “Son of a motherfucking bitch, they’ve won. Her demons have won.” Donna and I finish undressing her while Jax tries to steady himself. He picks up the top of her body and Donna and I each grab a leg. Jax steps into the tub and sits down, fully clothed with Jade in his lap. I start the water for them and Donna and I leave the bathroom.
After we help get Jade dressed and put to bed, Mama J assures us again that Jade’s going to be fine. It’s late and we’re all exhausted so we decide to head home. I over hear Blade talking to Styx in the corner of the room. He tells him that he’ll be back tomorrow with all the details. “Sounds like a plan to me brother,” Styx says. Blade turns to me with a smile then walks over and takes my hand. Donna has decided to stay with Styx so we head out without her.
I’m glad to be home. This week has been physically and mentally exhausting. There have been some horrible and terrifying moments but there have been some over the top happy and healing moments. Sometimes you have to go through the really bad in order to truly appreciate the good. When we get in bed, I curl into the spot where the world disappears and I can honestly say I am thankful for all the good. We all have demons and sometimes they win. I refuse to let mine win. I won’t be held captive by them. I refuse to remain broken.
CHAPTER 9
Surrender
The next morning, I’m moving slow. I feel consumed by what Jade is going through. She’s such a beautiful and talented young woman but the events in her life have almost destroyed her. Blade senses my melancholy and is being very sweet. He pulls me into his arms, kissing me on the forehead, “It’s going to be okay, baby girl. We’re going to get her the help she needs and get her back on her feet. She just has to want it.” I’m not sure what he means exactly but I know he has a plan and that’s good enough for me. Blade is a doer. He doesn’t just sit back and watch things happen.
We arrive at Mama J’s and the bands already there. Jade looks like shit and poor Jax doesn’t look much better. You can tell he’s been up all night watching over her. Everyone’s sitting in the living room and they seem to be on pins and needles. Jade’s in such bad shape that I don’t even think she notices.
“What’s going on?” I whisper to Blade.
“You’ll see baby girl. It’s for the best.”
He looks at Styx and motions him over. “I’ll take the lead if it’s okay with you. She needs it to come from someone who isn’t as close. Then, you guys will need to speak up,” he says to Styx.
“You got it, man. We’ve talked about it and we’re all in. We haven’t told Jax yet though,” Styx replies.
Blade goes into the kitchen and comes back with a chair. He sits it directly in front of Jade and plops down in it. Jade looks at him as if he’s crazy. “Jade, everyone here loves you and we’re all worried about you. We want you to get the help you need. I’ve made arrangements for you to check into Ocean Shore Recovery on Monday morning,” he says as he pulls a brochure from his pocket.
Jade is livid, “Who the fuck do you think you are?! You don’t fucking know me! You don’t know anything about life! I’m not going anywhere!”
Blade remains calm, “I may not know everything about you or your circumstances but I know you’re in trouble. And I know that if you keep going down this path, you’re going to die. I’ve seen this all before. I’ve watched the drugs drain the life out of someone and then finally claim her last breath,” he says and I can’t help but wonder who he’s talking about.
“I’m not going anywhere, motherfucker. Now you need to get out of my damn face before I knock the hell out of you.” She has a calm, seriousness about her that lets us all know she isn’t about to listen.
“Jade, you haven’t lost everything yet but you’re about to. We refuse to sit around and watch you kill yourself. It’s time to climb back out of the hole you’re in,” Styx chimes in. Jade starts to open her mouth but stops, for a moment, as she looks around at every face. She sees that everyone is on board with this. Even Jax has tears running down his face.
“I can’t. I don’t have insurance,” she resists.
“I’ve taken care of everything. You’ll even have the private luxury option so you should be very comfortable while you’re recovering,” Blade explains.
“I can’t. The band. I have to be here,” she tries again.
“I met with Shane this morning. He understands and is fine with it. There’s going to be several months of work before we begin recording. So, there are no worries there. He’d rather you get things under control now than not be able to function when it comes time,” Styx answers her worry.
“Child, you better take this opportunity that the good Lord has given you. It ain’t everybody that gets it. None of us want to see you in the gutter, or even worse, in the grave,” Mama J sternly speaks up.
Jade begins to speak again but is over taken with sobs. Gut wrenching sobs of despair. Jax holds her and lets her cry into his chest
. “You need to be packed Sunday night because you have to check in Monday morning at seven. If you don’t show, then you lose your spot. You’ll be staying here until Monday. The band and Mama J are going to take turns watching after you to make sure you don’t get in a bad way,” Blade explains. “But not you, Jax. We know you love her and that’s exactly why you can’t be the one. You’ll get soft and give in. Now, on Monday morning there will be a car here to take you to the recovery center. Jax can come along but he can’t go in. You’ll be there at least a hundred and twenty days and you can’t have visitors for awhile.”
Everyone sits silent as Jade regains control of herself. Jax wipes her tears, “You gotta do this, baby. You’re too far gone and you’re gonna end up dead.”
Jade turns and looks around the room again, drinking in the emotion on each face. She turns back to Blade and shakes her head yes, “I need this. I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I don’t know if my life can ever be normal again, but I can’t do what I am doing anymore.” She reaches out and hugs Blade hard and whispers, “Thank you.” A feeling of relief comes over the room and smiles begin to surface.
This man is amazing. He’s caring, loyal and understanding beyond anyone I have ever encountered. But he’s so complicated, different personalities from day to day. Hell, even from hour to hour. His comments about the streets, dark times in his life and watching someone being devoured by drugs, make me wonder what his secrets are and how they may have broken him.
As everyone begins to talk and even joke, Donna and I make plans for the day. She’s leaving for home tomorrow and I really want to spend some time with her. We’ve decided to let Blade and Styx tag along, if they can keep up. I figure that’s the easiest thing because after the car windows incident, going anywhere without Blade would be a fight. I also know that Donna’s got it bad for Styx and she’ll want to spend every minute she can with us both. Everyone is happy this way.
We spend the rest of the day shopping, eating and sight-seeing. Truth is, everything has been so crazy that I haven’t really seen any of the sights of New York. The day is winding down and we decide to end it by grilling out on the deck of the apartment. Blade insists on being the grill master and is totally outdoing himself. “You never cease to amaze me,” I smile up at him.
“Hmmm…think I remember saying those same words about you, baby girl.”
Donna and I spend some time talking while the guys man the grill. “You’ve got it bad, don’t you?” I question her.
She smiles the happiest, child-like smile I’ve ever seen cross her face. “I really do. I know I’ve only known him a week, but I swear it feels like we’ve known each other our whole lives. He treats me like a queen, we finish each other’s sentences and he makes me happy,” she gushes. “Of course, I think you know exactly what I’m talking about,” she continues and I give her a sarcastic, innocent look. “Don’t play dumb with me, you little shit. It’s written all over you when you look at him.”
“I do. But, it’s so complicated. He’s my boss. He’s way over-protective and very demanding sometimes. It’s like he has two personalities. He’s my step-brother which means Mother and Carter are gonna freak. On the other hand, he has pulled me out of my darkness and I can’t imagine life without him, but I don’t know if I am capable of caring for him the way he deserves. I know I’m better but I know I am broken. I have so much baggage that I get tired just thinking about it,” I try to explain.
“Bullshit!” she quips. “BULLSHIT. The only thing making it complicated is you and the fact that you’re holding on to that baggage way tighter than you should be. I love ya to death, Sher, and you’ve been through hell. A kind of hell that none of us can ever pretend to understand. But you’re different now and I can see it. You’re stronger than you’ve ever been so use that strength to help you build something wonderful. This man loves you to the depths of his soul. It’s in his eyes, his actions and every word he speaks to you. Don’t let what’s happened destroy your future.”
The guys join us at the table. The food is absolutely delicious but I can’t seem to stay in the conversation because my mind keeps wondering back to what Donna said. She’s right, dumbass. You’re gonna screw this up if you’re not careful. You’ve got a lot of baggage but this man loves you in spite of it. Hell, maybe even because of it. Because it makes you who you are—my inner witch is raging. I know she and Donna are right. I know I have to decide not to be the victim and I have to take my life back from my demons.
When the meal is over, Donna and I clear the table. In the kitchen, I’m still lost in thought. Donna mentions that she’s going back to Styx’s for the night. “Why don’t you guys just stay here tonight? That way Styx can come to the airport with us tomorrow,” I insist.
“Well, we would but he has to go home and pack,” she smiles that sheepish smile.
“Pack?”
“Yeah, he’s coming back to Kentucky with me for a week or so. I know my parents are gonna kill me but I really don’t care,” she laughs.
“Well, well, well…Miss Donna Marie Carrington. Look at you, all in love and full of rebellion. Whatever will become of you?” I say sarcastically and join her laughter.
We say our good nights then Donna and Styx head out. I’m exhausted as hell, I stay exhausted anymore. “Come on, baby girl. You need a relaxing hot bath,” Blade takes me by the hand and leads me into the bathroom.
“Only if you’re going to join me,” I insist.
“Of course.”
He starts the water and adds some bath oil. The scent is tranquil and soothing. I begin to undress when I suddenly remember the scars on my breast, left behind by the monster’s mutilation. I’ve undressed down to my bra then a surge of panic runs through me. I can’t. I don’t want to.
Blade senses my panic and wraps his arms around me. He hugs me close. “Do you trust me?” he whispers, still holding me.
“Yes,” I whisper because I do. I can’t explain it, but I do.
“Do you know that I would walk bare foot, across hot coals and fist fight the devil for you?”
“Yes,” I answer as the panic begins to leave my body.
“Then no more secrets. No more hiding yourself from me,” he whispers, as his hands move to my bra and he unclasps it. My breathing halts and I feel tears begin to run down my face. I grab him as he begins to move back.
“There are scars. Lots of scars. They’re ugly and they’re part of me now,” I cry in a whisper.
“Then they’re part of me,” he says as he kisses my ear.
I close my eyes and inhale deeply as he steps back and his hands move to my bra straps. I feel the trail down my arms until my bra is no longer touching my breast and all I can do is cry silently. There’s a brief moment of silence, “That motherfucker did this to you, didn’t he?” I nod my head in confirmation, with my eyes still closed and tears streaming down my face. “Open your eyes,” he softly requests, but I’m frozen…paralyzed with humiliation. I feel his fingers lift my chin. “Look at me, please,” he pleads. I open my eyes and he wipes the tears from my face. “You’re fucking gorgeous. Every part of you is absolutely divine and you don’t even know it. You’re amazing, inside and out.”
He leans in, kisses my lips then takes me by the hand and leads me to the tub. The water feels as though it’s washing the humiliation from me and I’m relieved to have the veil of it over me. I know it doesn’t hide anything but in my mind, it somehow makes me more comfortable. Blade begins to undress and I can’t take my eyes off him. He catches my stare and begins to put on a little show for me which finally brings a smile to my face. He is so fucking gorgeous. A sculpted god with raven hair, tan skin and beautiful tattoos. His body is the perfect canvas for the artwork he has.
He steps into the tub and slides in behind me. His legs separate, one sliding down each side of me until they are resting alongside mine. He pulls me back against his chest and wraps his arms around me. In his arms there’s safety, relaxation and peace. He kiss
es my temple and I feel his body relax too. We sit this way, silent, for a long while. Then, I feel his lips, soft on the side of my neck. The very touch of him sends tingles over my body. I close my eyes, lift my chin and push my head back into his chest to allow him more access. I feel his hands move to my breasts, I catch my breath and the panic rises again.
“Relax and breathe. I want you to share every inch of your body with me,” he whispers between his kisses along my neck. I exhale and clear my mind, thinking of nothing but his touch and the pleasure it brings. I feel his erection, hard against my back. His hands almost massage my breast and I begin to feel normal, as if the scars don’t exist. He begins to taunt my nipples, rolling them between his index fingers and thumbs. When he tugs at them, pleasure shoots through me and I arch against him.
His left hand continues his teasing while his right hand moves slowly down my stomach. His fingers glide between the lips of my pussy, sliding over my clit and then he plunges two, deep inside me. The walls of my pussy begin to quiver as he wiggles his fingers. He continues his play and begins to stroke my clit with his thumb. The intensity is mind-numbing and my body writhes.
“You belong to me. Your body is mine,” he whispers in my ear.
“Yes,” I fervently reply.
“Say it, baby girl.”
“I belong to you. My body belongs to you,” I whisper back. “I want you inside me,” I almost whine.
“Not yet, baby girl. Soon.”
“Please! I need to feel your cock deep inside me, taking me and making my pussy yours.” He removes his fingers and turns loose of my breast. His hands go to my waist and he helps lift me as I turn to face him. Our eyes lock and he is delving into my soul again.
Our mouths come together and he kisses me deep and hard. He puts his hands on my hips and lifts me above his rock hard cock. I slowly slide down his shaft, feeling every inch of him as he fills me. This position puts him deeper inside me than he has ever been. It’s a little painful at first but when my body adjusts, it’s phenomenal. His hands are still on my hips and they begin guiding me, up and down his length.
Broken In Pieces: Billionaire Stepbrother Romance (Wounded Hearts Book 1) Page 10