by Amber Nicole
“Hey this is Cara. I can’t get to the phone right now, but leave me a message and I’ll be sure to call y’all back.”
I hang up once more and toss my phone on the table, then take a seat. Why is she ignoring me? Has to be from that new guy she's been hanging out with. Mr. Popular. Yeah I remember him. Connor something. Nice kid, quiet, hard worker. Was always dedicated to the team. But that was years ago. Who knows how he is now. Probably a player. Not that I can really say shit about that. How many randos have I had this month? It doesn’t matter because I’m not the one pursuing Carson, and from the photos I’ve been seeing, he likes hanging all over her. Him and that other kid. She better not be hanging out with Xavier Dai. He is trouble with a capital T.
“Bro, you need to chill the fuck out. I can feel your anger and tension from over here,” Alex complains. I stand, pushing my chair back, and grab my phone. I need to walk this off. I start to pace again and Alex sighs. “Seriously dude. What the fuck is your issue? You keep scowling at your phone like it pissed in your Cheerios.” He closes the notebook he was writing in and hops up. “I know, let’s go get you laid. We’ve been stuck in this studio for too long.”
He comes over and rips my phone from my hand and, if he wasn’t my bandmate I may have taken a swing at him. I laugh and snatch it back. “Nice try, but you heard the boss lady. We need to have three new songs by next week, and they aren't just going to magically pop out of your ass.” He growls and plops back down on the chair with a pout. “This is so fucking dumb. Why do we have to write and perform some pop country shit with prima donna Dolly?”
I roll my eyes, but sit down on the couch in front of him. Everything has gone to shit since Friday when we got the news that they were adding someone to our band. A no name female singer. Seems the CEO of our label’s niece is a huge fan and wants to record her debut with us. Talk about a publicity stunt for instant fame.
“Do we even know if she can sing?” Mikey asks up from the back of the room. Huh, I thought he was asleep.
“Doesn’t matter, they’ll just autotune her if she can’t, but shit I hope she can. This is a fucking nightmare,” Alex snaps loudly in exasperation. I wince from the sudden noise, and growl.
“Now you need to chill the hell out.” He rolls his eyes at me. You would think that being a guy in his twenties he wouldn’t respond like a teenage girl who doesn’t get her way, but that's just Alex. Drama King to the max.
“Knock knock,” Gem says, coming into the room with takeout and beer.
“Oh thank god. Darling, I love you,” I tell her, helping to take some of the bags from her arms. Mikey jumps up to grab the beer, and Alex sits on his ass like usual. Now I’m the one rolling my eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, buster. Keep it in your pants,” Gem retorts, making me snort. She may be my assistant—more of an ass than an assist, but she has become a good friend these past few months. She reminds me of Cara a bit. The way we can bullshit and talk for hours. I’m glad she’s here.
I grab one of the bags and pull out the food with my name on it. “So, babe, tell me what amazing new find you got for us today?” Gem loves to try hole in the wall hidden restaurants, she calls them her five star treasure finds. And she hasn't poisoned us, yet. She jumps up and down with a squeal. “Superstar, you’re going to love what I found.”
I open it up, and the aroma of curry and spices hits my nose, making me groan. Yeah, this will do.
“How come he got curry, and I got something that looks like baby vomit?” Alex complains. I glance over at his meal and laugh. “That does look gross, but dude just take a ‘no thank you bite’ and shut the hell up.”
“What the fuck is a ‘no thank you bite’?” he says with a glare.
“Didn’t your Mama ever teach you that even if you don’t like it you take one bite to be polite?” He goes to respond and my phone rings. I glance down and see Cara’s baby blues. Fucking finally. I immediately answer, not caring that my mouth is full.
“Where have you been?” I snap then cringe at my tone and swallow. “I mean, what are you up to?” Yeah, because that’s much better, idiot.
“Hey sorry, I was in the shower when you rang. What’s up?” I instantly picture her in the shower and my body starts to heat and stiffen. I stand, moving over to the corner facing the wall of windows and clear my throat. “How was the beach?”
She giggles, and I swear my whole day brightens. She has always had that effect on me.
“It was amazing. I learned how to surf. I’m not very good but I did get up on the board a few times. It felt like I was flying. Connor let me ride with him too and that was amazing.”
Ugh Connor. Lucky bastard.
“We did some shopping, and I got a killer tan. Your mom and I are having a girls’ day tomorrow so I’ll get my nails done. I may even get my hair highlighted. I’m nervous about college, Memphis. I wish you could be there.” She continues to ramble but I’m still lost on the fact she was with Connor.
“I miss you, shortcake.” I blurt out, stopping her from going on about different hair colors. She sighs, “I miss you too, Memphis. Always.”
I glance over my shoulder at the guys. Gem must have left at some point and they seem busy, so I turn on a video call request and wait. I lean against the window and hear a gasp. “Oh wow that view is incredible,” Cara says, gently biting her lip. I internally groan and nod. I remember those lips. The way they pressed to mine during a stupid childhood game. How they were hesitant and had barely any pressure, but so soft, with the hint of coconut. I made the mistake of deepening the kiss, and getting my first taste of her, before pushing her away and walking off. Who knew a kiss could make me as rock hard as that did? I had to leave the party and calm myself down before I truly ruined our friendship.
“Well, hello gorgeous.” Mikey says, coming up and snatching the phone from me. He gives me a look lifting his brow in a ‘who is she’ gesture and I groan rubbing my hand down my face in impatience and annoyance.
“Um, hi.” Cara squeaks before we see her bedroom ceiling.
“What are you doing?” I ask and she laughs nervously.
“Um, so yeah, I’m kinda half naked right now. I wasn’t expecting you to video call and for others to see me.”
My mouth drops in surprise and Mikey laughs. Alex jumps up and races to snatch my phone from Mikey.
“Whoa wait. Did she say she’s naked? What a naughty girl.” My fist lands against his shoulder hard and I feel no regret when he winces, rubbing the spot.
“Not cool.” I growl and he steps back lifting his hands in a ‘calm down gesture’.
“Memphis, don’t be a bully. Give me a second, I'll grab my robe.” A door clicks and I hear muttering, but I can’t make out the words.
“So this is the mysterious Cara, why have we never met her before?” Mikey asks, and I snort.
“If I have my way, you horndogs will never meet her.”
“Okay I’m back. Hi, I’m Cara. Memphis’ best friend and soon to be sister.” She says it with a smile on her face, but I notice the squint in her left eye when she says ‘sister’. Yeah this shit is too weird.
We talk for a little bit longer, until Gem pops her head in and scowls at us.
“Uh-oh, Medusa is back, we have to go babe,” Alex says, and I can’t wait to hit him again. I take her off video and move to the corner so I can talk privately. “Have fun tomorrow. Mom has always wanted a daughter.” She sighs and I laugh. “Shortcake, I love you. Don’t forget. Me and you darlin’ always.”
“I know. I love you too. I’ll talk to you later. Good luck with your writing. Try the bubble bath technique.”
I burst out in a laugh so loud the guys jump and I growl, “That is our little secret, Cara. Don’t be spreading that shit around.”
She laughs and hangs up before saying anything more. I put my phone back in my pocket while shaking my head, a big smile on my face.
“I can see why you’re hung up on her. She’s hot and way too innocent
for my tastes. Too bad she’s your sister.”
“She is not my sister,” I snap, my good mood instantly leaving. The guys laugh at me, and Gem rolls her eyes.
“Listen, boys, now that circle time is over. Dolly will be popping in tonight at some point. Please, I beg you guys. Be nice.”
“I’m always nice,” Alex says with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes. He looks like he’s a wolf about to devour his prey. Gem snorts and grabs a beer. I sit down and dig into my cold curry. Not as tasty, but worth it since I finally got to talk with Cara.
An hour passes and we’re finishing up a verse when someone knocks.
“Showtime,” Mikey mutters, throwing his notebook on the table. I sigh and stand as the door swings open. A young brunette walks in and gives us a huge smile.
Oh fuck! I am so screwed.
Six
Carson
We get home from our girls’ day, and I head upstairs for a shower. I still have a lot to do, but I smell like honey butter and my toes feel slimy from the lotion. Shopping with Frankie wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be. We actually had fun. I forgot what it was like to have a mom. Not that I’ll ever call her mom, but to go out and do girly things. Getting our hair and nails done, going to lunch. Not sitting in a depressing hospital room, talking about a future we both know is never going to happen. Don’t get me wrong, I miss those days, and I wouldn't change a moment of our time together for the world, but I think the last time I spent with my mother, before she got sick, I was twelve and she took me to the pier for ice cream. We sat on the beach and watched strangers. She always loved to watch people and guess what their lives were like. She would make up the funniest stories. I smile and sigh. “Miss you mom, wish you could be there tomorrow.” I jump in the shower and do a quick rinse, before hopping out, then throw my sundress back on and open the door. There are so many things I still need to pack. I finish toweling off my hair then toss the damp towel in the hamper. My phone dings on the nightstand but I ignore it. He can wait. Don't get me wrong, I love talking to him, but honestly it's become kinda awkward. At least for me. I can't continue to send him flirty texts. Can I? It dings again and I give in, bending down and picking my phone up, before unlocking it with my code. Memphis’ birthday. Damn, I guess I'll need to change that now too.
Ten I See: Big day tomorrow! Are you ready?
Me: Yep. It's bittersweet leaving, but at least now I don't need to worry about Dad being alone.
Ten I See: True. Get some sleep, shortcake. Love you. I'll call tomorrow
Me: Night
I hesitate to write back I love you too, but eventually bite the bullet and quickly type it in before hitting send. We have always told the other we loved them. That doesn't need to change now, does it? God, this is so damn confusing. I think leaving tomorrow will be good for me. I can focus on my studies and maybe find a cute available boy to waste some time with. I wish Connor or Xavier were coming to Texas too. Then we could continue to hang out like we did this past weekend. Now that I think of it, I don’t know what school they’re going to. Someone knocks on my door halting me from my thoughts. “Come in,” I shout.
“Do you have everything for tomorrow?” my dad asks, glancing at my suitcases. His eyes turn watery, and he coughs to cover the emotion. I move over to him and give him a big hug.
“Yeah, Dad. I’m almost finished.” I pull back and wander over to my bookshelf, take down the hand-carved wooden box, then turn and hand it to him. “Will you keep this safe for me until I get back?” He gently takes it and nods, the tears now flowing gently, unashamedly from his eyes. “Of course, baby girl.”
I return to the edge of my bed and reopen one of my suitcases. I can fit a few more things in here—we had a few of my boxes shipped to the campus to make moving day easier. I open my nightstand table and pull out some scrapbooks I’d made with my mom during her chemo hours. I hesitate to pack them. I’d be crushed if something were to happen to them, but I like to look at them and think about her from time to time. I wrap them in a baby blanket that she had knitted for me and place them gently on top of my clothes. “I think that’s everything.” I glance around and sigh. “Who knew packing up eighteen years of memories would go so fast?” My dad snorts and looks around with me.
“Did you have to take the wall decorations too?”
I laugh and nod. “Um, yeah. You know I hate bare walls.”
The clock shows it’s close to midnight. “Wow I better get to bed, we have to leave early to make the eleven hour drive to Texas. I hope traffic won’t be too bad,” I say, moving closer to him for one more of his bear hugs. I’m going to miss them. “Night, Daddy.” I whisper and he gasps. “You haven’t called me that in years.”
I shrug and pull back to look at him. He leans down placing a kiss on my forehead and whispers, “Good night my little shooting star.”
Now, I’m going to cry.
“Get some sleep, if we leave early enough I’ll swing by the diner and get you an apple fritter french toast for the road.”
I give him a big smile. “Now that sounds like a plan, old man.” His chuckles sound all the way down the hall, til he hits the stairs. I take one more look around, and smile. Like I told Memphis, it’s bittersweet, but I’m excited too.
I check my phone once more but he hasn’t replied, so I walk over to my closet and throw one of his old football jerseys on before climbing into bed lying still for a moment, I listen to the crickets chirp and the animals settle in for the night. I’m going to miss this place.
Leaving the country is terrifying, but I made a promise to my mama. Goodbye Kansas. Hello Texas.
e
“Is that everything kiddo? Gah college, I can’t believe you're in college! Where did the little girl with dirt on her face and pigtails go?” He pauses, seeming lost in a memory, “Okay, I’m going to take off before I embarrass myself and you. I promised I wouldn't get emotional in public. Give ya old man a hug. Love you, baby girl.” My dad hugs the life out of me before getting in his truck and taking off leaving me alone for the first time in eighteen years. I take a deep breath in, and slowly exhale. I‘ve got this. I worked my butt off for this. All those late nights staying up, and studying. Missing out on partying with my friends. I just hope it's worth it.
My phone buzzes, and I have to dig deep in my bag to find it. Memphis' smiling face greets me on the caller ID. I find a bench outside my dorm building to sit, and answer.
“Hey, shortcake. Are ya there yet?” he says in his country twang that I really miss. We may have spoken just the other day, but I haven't seen him in months.
“Yeah, I just got here. Dad just took off for home.” I sniffle. Crap no tears, at least not till I make it to my room.
“Hey, no, Cara, that better not be sniffles I'm hearin’. You worked hard for this. Go show those Texans who’s boss. I’m always a call away. Don’t forget that, shortcake. Things may be changing, but you're my best friend. Always, right?"
I nod my head, then cringe. He can't see you, dummy.
“I’m going to miss you. Wish you could have come here too,” I say and he snorts.
“Me? A college boy? Naw you know that's not my game, babe. I’m gonna make it big in Nashville. Speaking of, I got a gig tonight so I have to go. I’m gonna be late for soundcheck. I was just calling to check in. I love you, Carson.”
“I love you too, Memphis. Have a great show. I’ll check in, in a few days.” I hang up feeling a little better. He always knows what I need to hear.
I take a look around me and everything is so polished. The gardens look manicured, and pristine. Not a twig out of place. There’s a fountain before me. It's breathtaking, peaceful. Marble stone with a woman in the center standing in a pirouette position. I giggle to myself. The only reason I know that is because my friend has been a dancer for her whole life, and tried to get me involved. I am not coordinated enough for that, I’ll stick with music for now. I close my eyes, and take a moment to breathe, and remember the r
eason I'm here.
“Tell me again, Mama. About your sorority days, and the balls you went to in a princess dress,” I ask while we’re waiting in this room. This is her third round of chemo, so we have been here many times. The nurses know me well, and bring me snacks when I'm good. I’m always good. My birthday was last week, so I can officially drive myself here now and not have to depend on Memphis or my dad. I keep my mama company during these long days. Daddy used to come too, but I think it makes him sad. I hear them cry together at night when they think I’m sleepin’.
“I’ll tell ya one more time my little star, but then I’m gonna rest my eyes a bit,” she says in her whisper of a voice.
“Okay, Mama.”
“It was the Founder’s Ball so we had to dress real fancy. Your grandma bought me the most amazin’ dress. It was lilac, and made of satin. So soft. I remember running my fingers over the delicate material. We had a lady come to the house to do our hair, and makeup. She made me look like a hollywood glamour model. You’ll see, baby. One day you’re gonna go there, too. Continue my legacy, just like I did for my mama. You’ll meet the most amazing people, make some life-long friends like your Auntie Marla and Destiney. Maybe meet the man of your dreams. I hope to be there baby, to see it all.” She trails off, and I glance up at her, but she’s asleep. I kiss her head, then leave her to rest.
That was the last time I ever spoke to my mama. She never woke up from that nap. I wipe the tears off my cheeks, and stand from the bench.
“Okay, Mama, I’m here. Now what?” I say aloud, looking at the bright blue sky. I let the sun warm my face for a moment, before glancing around at the campus.
This place is huge. I am going to get so lost. I internally groan. At least I got here a few days before move in day so it’s not very crowded. I guess it's one of the perks to pledging a sorority. I walk up the pathway to Jhonson Hall and stop. There’s a guy watching me. Wow, talk about gorgeous. Tall, tan, dark brown hair that's a little messy like he just rolled out of bed. I can't tell the color of his eyes from this far away, but I bet they’re magnificent. I give him a smile, and a small wave. I wonder if he’s actually going to approach me. He gives me a grin then turns and walks away. How odd. Well I’m definitely not in Kansas anymore that's for sure. I stop just outside my dorm building and pause. Nerves hit, and my hands shake, but take a deep breath and will my feet to move. I got this.