Forever Changed Part One: A College Bully RH Romance (Forever Changed Duet Book 1)

by Amber Nicole

  “I’d love to, Xavier and Connor are also on the team. I love to watch the games, I grew up around football. My dad used to coach, and Memphis was the quarterback since freshman year. But stop stalling, babe.”

  She sighs and goes back to braiding my hair. “Hell week was, well, hell. They made all the guys shave their heads, which wasn’t so bad—that's actually common. Then they made all the pledges confess to their dirtiest secret. I won’t say what it is because that’s Milo's story to tell, but East and some of the guys on the team turned it against him. Ostracized him to the point where he almost hurt himself. I found him,” she whispers. I shiver and look over my shoulder, my hair forgotten. I gaze into her glassy eyes. “He’s such an amazing person Cara, and he didn’t deserve that. If I had been five minutes later he would have jumped from that roof and I would have never gotten to know how adorkable he is. I worry about you. The Greek system here is full of assholes. I know you have your mind set, but just promise me you’ll watch your back, trust no one Cara, especially a Hawthorne.”

  e

  I lie in bed later that night thinking about everything that happened today and what Sassy told me. I feel for Milo, life is precious. I can’t imagine feeling so helpless to take my own life, and that East would push him to that point. He doesn’t seem the type. I mean it was last year, so maybe he’s changed. Then again, I’ve only just met him. My phone dings, and I unplug it from the charge cord. I really need to get a longer cable.

  East: Hey so about what I said earlier …

  East: Can we just ignore it … I think being your friend sounds like a good idea.

  East: If I’m being honest I could use a friend.

  I read his messages a few times before replying. I should tell him to go to Hell, but we do have that assignment together and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to have him on my side against the Kippa Nu girls. I glance up at the ceiling, “Please don’t let this bite me in the ass.”

  Me: On one condition. You bring snacks. I’m a basic chick, feed me and tell me I’m pretty.

  I get a string of laughing, crying emojis, then a thumbs up. I plug my phone back in and snuggle down with my baby blanket. After today I need the comfort of home. I still don’t know why someone would be so cruel to me. I may not be a millionaire heiress, but I’m not poor either. My clothes are all name brands from the popular stores. I should be able to fit in with these girls. So why can’t I?

  “Cara, wake up,” Sassy yells at me from the living room. I blink my eyes for a few seconds. I tossed and turned all night thanks to someone in the dorm either having loud sex, or a party. I glance at the clock and moan. Yeah two hours of sleep isn’t going to cut it. I pray this isn’t a regular thing. My door swings open and a bright eyed, bushy tailed Sassafras comes hopping into my room. I raise my brows and bite my lip in confusion. Didn’t she tell me she’s not a morning person? So why does she look like the energizer bunny right now? “Um good morning,” I croak, she looks towards my window with a wistful smile on her face. “Oh it is definitely a good morning.”

  I give her a once-over. Her hair is mussed and is that a hickey on her neck? I point to it and she blushes. “Oh my god, girl. I just can’t keep it in. I’ve been waiting an hour for you to wake up.” She squeals and jumps on top of me, wiggling until I’m shoved against the wall and she’s in my spot. “So last night I got a text from an ex. Well I guess we were technically never together, since she was still so far in the closet, she never saw the light.” She waves her hand at that and turns to face me. “Anyways, she came out to her family over the summer and was hoping we could get together and chat—” I cut her off, “Wait, when was this? We went to bed at like one a.m.”

  Her grin gets bigger, if that's even possible. “Like two a.m. I think. I was just dozing off and heard the chime. Anyways, where was I?” She puts her finger to her chin, tapping for a moment. “Oh right. I told her I didn’t think it was a good idea, and she told me that she’s out now and missed me. We have plans for coffee this morning and if things go well, I may be getting a special afternoon treat,” she says with an eyebrow wiggle. Um, wow. I open my mouth and close it a few times. I’m not sure what to say to her, and I need coffee. Lot’s of coffee. She sits up, jumping from the bed and rushing to her room, before coming back with her shower things and giving me a look. “You’re a virgin, aren't you?” I sputter and turn bright red. “Oh my god. How is that possible?” Shower forgotten, she jumps back on the bed. I sit up and run my hands through my mess of tangles. I shrug and bite my bottom lip. “I always thought I would save it for my best friend, but things have changed. Now I guess it just depends on me. I’ve never really thought much about it. My girls back home think it's a big deal, but to me it’s just whatever.” I laugh and she nudges my shoulder.

  “Well I’m telling you this now babe, you’re banging, and it won’t be long til it’s gone. Especially with all the guys sniffing after you.” My eyes pop at that and she laughs. “You’re so clueless. I love it and can’t wait until you realize what everyone else sees in you.” She stands and claps her hands, “Now come. I have a date and you have class.” I glance at my clock and laugh.

  “Sassy, you woke me up thirty minutes before my alarm.”

  She winces and looks at the floor, shuffling her feet. “I almost woke you up two hours ago, but that dirt bag was blaring his music all night and I heard you tossing and turning. So I thought that would be cruel.” She looks at me with a shrug, then gives me a huge smile. “I really like this girl Cara. I just hope she doesn’t hurt me again.” I climb from the bed and give her a big hug.

  “If she does I’ll kick her ass.”

  She bursts out in giggles and I back away. Taking her hand, I tug her out the door, grabbing our shower stuff on the way. “Now come, you have a date to get ready for.” I shoot her a wink and she wipes her eyes from the water filling them from laughing so hard. I don’t know why she doubts me. Sassy is amazing and if someone hurts her ... I will hurt them. Simple as that.

  Seventeen

  Layton

  A car rumbles down the street, startling me from watching my cartoons. I finish the sandwich Mama made me and rush to quickly rinse my dishes and place them in the rack to dry.

  “Layton, go, try and stay out of his way tonight, okay?” I give her a nod and she brings me into her arms for a quick hug. “You are my good boy.” She kisses my messy blond hair and gives me a gentle shove towards my bedroom in the basement. I open the door and walk down the steps, being cautious not to touch the ones that creak. It’s dark down here, and the air always makes me sneeze, but I don't mind it. I used to have a nice room upstairs next to my Mama but that’s being prepared for my baby sister. Plus down here he doesn’t hurt me as much. I sit on the corner of my small race car bed and grab one of my favorite comics. I have a small flashlight next to my pillow and I click it on so I can read.

  A loud crash from upstairs has me smacking myself in the face with my flashlight. Oww.

  “Please, Harold, don’t. He’s just a little boy. Your little boy,” my mama yells from above me.

  No no please, not tonight, what did I do? I haven’t made a sound down here.

  I quietly climb from my bed and rush to the corner behind the dryer. I’m small for seven, and I can usually hide here without being caught.

  “Shut up woman. That is no son of mine. He’s a pathetic little shit. You cheated on me, didn’t you? Whoring yourself out to every John in town. That’s probably not even my baby,” he roars, making me shake. I close my eyes and cover my ears with my hands, rocking back and forth. I try to block out the screams from upstairs. He’s hurting my mama.

  I wish someone would save us.

  A noise from outside startles me from my dreams. My eyes are wet and my chest is tight. I was crying in my sleep again. Jase pulls me closer to his warmth, holding me. “Shhh Lay, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll always be here.” He kisses my shoulder and falls back to sleep. I listen
to his soft breaths for a few moments until I feel myself drifting off again.

  “Where are you, you little shit?” he roars storming down the cement stairs. I hold very still and cover my mouth with my hands to keep my breaths quiet. “I know you’re down here Layton. You left your little flashlight on.” I freeze. Oh no. If he takes that, then I will always be in the dark. Mama made me promise to keep it hidden. A crash sounds and I yelp, immediately knowing he’s going to learn about my secret spot.

  Please please please. I pray to a god I don’t know exists. Probably another fairytale my mama told me.

  “Come out come out Lay,” he coos but I know it’s all a game to him. “Now Layton. Take your punishment or I will lock you in the garage overnight.”

  I shake and quietly shuffle out of my hiding place. I can’t spend another night out there. The last time was after my tenth birthday. I was in trouble for playing with the neighbor’s boy. I’m not supposed to go outside anymore.

  “Please don't, Dad,” I whisper. The light from the kitchen shines down illuminating the scary smile on his face. “There you are,” he snaps, moving towards me so fast. The slap echoes before the hurt comes. I bite my lip to hide my cry. He hits harder if I make a sound. Grabbing my arm, he drags me up the stairs. He throws me in a kitchen chair and points to the dishes in the sink. “Why the fuck did I come home to a sink full of dirty dishes? Where the fuck is your mother?” I shrug and get a backhanded slap in response. “Fucking do them,” he roars, before leaving the room. I hear his boots stomping up the stairs towards their bedroom, then loud chuckles. I hurry to do what he asks. Maybe I can get them done and go to my room before he comes back. I finish the last plate and spin to put it in the drying rack.

  Movement in the corner catches my eye, and I glance that way, only to freeze. My dad stands there, watching me, with blood all over his hands. I don’t know if it’s his or my mamas. “Get out of the fucking way,” he says, striding to the sink. He mutters something under his breath, but I don’t bother to pay attention. My mind races, and I’m terrified something is wrong. He turns the sink off and moves to the fridge to grab a beer. I shuffle over to the stairs. I just need to check. Make sure she's okay. “Where do you think you’re going boy?” he yells, making me jump.

  “Worthless waste of life. I should have flushed you down the toilet. Fucking that bitch you call Mama was my worst mistake. Now I’m stuck with your pathetic ass.” He takes another sip of the nasty brown liquid in the bottle, before throwing it towards my head. I duck down just in time. It crashes above me, shattering sharp shards to cover me. One slices my cheek and I wince, letting out a soft cry and when I bring my hand to my face and touch it gently, a wetness coats my finger. Dark red liquid—blood. Just like the blood that covered his hands not even five minutes ago.

  “Why?” I whisper. I don’t know what I’m asking, there are so many questions running through my mind. Why does he hurt me? Why doesn’t he love me? Why were his hands bloody? Why doesn’t he just leave? All these questions I have and the only word I can think to ask is ‘why’.

  Not like it matters, I don’t think he heard me. He’s ranting about something and seems a bit crazier than usual.

  “Mama help me, Mama save me, Mama why don’t you love me. Pathetic little shit,” he says in a voice I think is supposed to be mine. Maybe when I was younger I sounded like that, but I soon learned it didn’t help things. It’s just another way to hurt me. If he’s not hitting me he’s saying nasty words to try and break me down. He likes making me and my mama cry, but now I just keep my mask on.

  He bends low, getting into my face. He stinks so bad like sweat and cigarettes, my stomach twists. “Your mama can’t save you boy. Look around, do you see her anywhere?” I don’t dare move my head, but he’s right. Where is she? He stumbles over to his chair and plops down staring me in the eye. “Dumb bitch went and killed herself, and it’s all your fault. She never loved you, because if she did, she would have taken you with her.”

  I wake tangled in my sheets covered in a sheen of sweat. My heart is racing and I feel sick. I haven’t thought about that night in so long. I wonder what spurred it on. I roll over and reach for Jase but he’s not there. The bathroom door is wide open and empty and the sun is shining through the curtains. His spot feels cold. I sit up against the pillow and reach for my phone. I press the button on the side to check the time. Fuck. I’ve missed half a day of classes. I kick the sheets from my legs and jump from the bed. There’s a note taped to my door that makes me calm down.

  Babe,

  Take the day off. You need it.

  J

  I smile and open our text thread sending him a quick message. I know he’s in class right now, but he’ll see it when he gets out.

  The AC kicks on, and I shiver. I feel gross and need a shower. Moving to the bathroom, I don’t bother with the light. I feel more comfortable these days in the dark. I strip my boxers off, toss them in the hamper, and feel along the shower wall for the knob turning the water too hot. One thing I love about this bathroom is the water never runs cold compared to the dorms. I do a quick rinse then towel off and throw some work out clothes on. One thing that always helps me after a bad memory or dream is punching the shit out of a bag. I open my bedroom door and take a deep breath. I am safe. He can no longer hurt me, at least not physically. I grab my gym bag and slip my sneakers on. I skip down the stairs and stop in the kitchen for an energy bar and water bottle. We’re running low on fruit, so I scribble a quick note then walk out the back door.

  The sun warms me, and I sigh in relief. The house next door is thumping with bass, and some guys are stumbling around high off their asses, acting like idiots.

  “Yo Lay, come party, man,” someone shouts, but I keep walking. I need to punch this tension and anxiety out, or I may hit someone. I start a slow jog, warming my muscles up, then turn to a run. I pass some people who wave but I keep my eyes on the building in front until I reach it. The AC immediately hits me, cooling me down. “Hey Lay,” Sharla shouts from the counter. I give her a wave and point to the boxing ring they keep in the corner. Marco is there punching the bag on the left. I give him a nod then throw my bag on the floor against the mirrors. I don’t bother wrapping or pulling my gloves on. I put my earbuds in and crank ‘I miss the misery’ by Halestorm.

  I get in my fighter's stance and let the bag have all my frustrations. All the hits my father gave to me since I learned how to talk, all the kicks he would do to my mom. How he would laugh and mock us when we begged for him to stop. Someone grabs my shoulder, breaking me from my trance. I already know who it is from his cologne. I twist and throw myself into his arms, breaking down. My earbud is removed and East's voice is in my ear, telling me it’s going to be okay. I push myself back and glance around, but the place is cleared out. “Sharla texted me. She was worried about you. You’ve been here two hours, man.”

  I look down to the floor and shrug. “I had a nightmare.”

  He sighs and bends down to grab my bag, “Come on, let’s get some food, before you pass out.” He walks towards the exit and I wipe my eyes. I follow after him and cringe. I need to shower before anyone sees me. My blond hair is messy and matted with sweat and I know I probably smell. “I should shower first,” I tell him, but he just shakes his head. “We’ll grab a taco at the cart on the way home. I know you didn’t eat breakfast, Lay. You never do on days like today.”

  I nod, because he’s right, and I have passed out before after a strenuous workout. We walk outside and the brightness from the sun immediately has me seeing spots. I feel lightheaded and East grabs my arm, steadying me. He helps me over to a bench and I take a seat as he runs to the taco cart across the lawn to get me some food. Laughter hits my ears and I glance that way. Cara is sitting on a thick blanket eating a sandwich with her friend and Milo. I watch them for a few moments, wishing I could go over and join them. She throws her head back and the sun shines over her face, making her blue eyes sparkle. She really is bea
utiful. “What are you looking at?” East asks, handing me some tacos, startling me.

  “Thanks.” I gesture in their direction and he smirks. “I got this. Eat. I’ll be right back.” He grabs one of his tacos and jogs her way. I don’t know what he says, but he gets on one knee and hands her the taco as if he’s proposing. Sassy rolls her eyes and Milo looks uncomfortable. Cara falls into a fit of giggles, nodding her head yes. She takes the taco and gives him a big smile. He leans in and kisses her cheek, before hopping up and taking off to the taco truck once more. She watches him go, biting her bottom lip. Sassy says something and she shrugs, before taking a small bite of the treat. A small smile permanently on her lips. I finish up my lunch and stand. I go to toss the garbage away when I run into someone. Penny is standing there glaring at Cara with her lips pursed. Her eyes meet mine and she snaps, “What’s taking you so long? She’s been here for over a week, Layton. I want the bitch gone.” I go to reply, but she turns and stomps off. East comes up to me, shoving a taco in his mouth and holding my bag. I sigh and start the walk home. After his mouth is empty he asks, “What did Penny want?”