Heat burns my neck. “Maybe I should fake my death. That’d get her on my side.”
Coffee carafe in hand, he salutes me with it. “Touché.” He fills the two mugs in front of him on the counter. “She can’t stay mad forever.”
I shove a hand through my hair. “That’s been my motto. She might just prove me wrong.”
“Nah.” He grins, showing off Tess’s dimples. “If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with her, it’s best you learn a thing or two.” He hands me a full mug.
I cock an eyebrow and accept.
“She’s strong willed, that one.”
A surprised laugh escapes me. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
His slurps from his own mug and swallows with a smack of his lips and a sigh. “Just like her mother.”
I snort. “Her mother, huh?”
“That’s right. And there’s only one way to handle a woman like that.”
“A whip and a chair?”
He leans a hip against the counter. “Stand up to her.”
“Good luck,” I mutter from behind my cup. “She’s liable to use that pepper spray I gave her on me.”
“I doubt it.” He raises an eyebrow. “She’s in love with you.”
“Ha! She has a funny way of showing it.” Frustrating or not, I’d like to believe Sean has an inside track on this. Tess! Can’t live with her, can’t live without her.
“She has her pride. The bane of an Irishwoman.”
“Just women?”
He shrugs. “This whole leaving-it-up-to-her thing you got going on…” He waves the mug around, coffee sloshing over the edge. “It’s not going to work.”
“No?” Who knows? The old man might know what he’s talking about. After all, he did raise her. “What do you suggest?”
“Take charge. If she comes crawling to you after you lied to her, she’ll look weak.”
I shake my head. “But that’s crazy. If—”
“You don’t know much about women, do you, son?” Definitely a smirk this time. “If you intend to live in any kind of harmony, you’ll need her to be submissive—”
“Like that’ll ever happen.”
“But”—he pins me with a green-eyed glare—“you don’t want to break her spirit.”
Hmm. Maybe he’s got something here. “I’m listening.”
“Do something that will put her at a disadvantage.” He stares past me. “But it’s got to be romantic.”
I scowl. “Could you be more obtuse?”
“You’ll think of something. And I wouldn’t wait long. I’ve got to get showered up. I have an appointment with Byron Reynolds. The old coot’s been nickel-and-diming me since I left. For what I paid him for his secrecy, I could’ve fed a third-world country.”
I grin into my cup. It’s good to have him back.
Put Tess at a disadvantage but be romantic. How—
I slam the mug down on the counter. “That’s it!”
* * *
Tess
The drive down to Sacramento is like plowing through a war zone—except the battlefield is all in my mind. Jake the liar versus Jake the sweet. Jake the mystery man versus Jake the provider. Jake the enigmatic versus Jake the open book.
The school parking lot comes into view. Good. Surrounded by fifteen-year-olds, I’ll be able to put Jake to rest for the next eight hours. Maybe my headache will even fade away.
And the look on his face when I dumped Curious George.
Okay, maybe that was taking things a bit far. It’s not George’s fault that Jake’s got me riled, and now I’ve no lunch, which means I’m stuck with cafeteria food. Yuck.
I slam the car door. And Dad! Okay, I’ve forgiven him, but it still irks me that he went to such drastic measures. There had to be a better way.
You have your life back.
He could at least act a little remorseful. But nooo. He walks around the house like the conquering hero.
But where would you be now?
Me falling at Jake’s feet would give Dad even more reason to gloat. There’d be no living with him.
And the alternative?
Once inside the classroom, I shut the door and bang my head on it. I can’t think about this anymore or I’ll be a basket case by fifth period.
Thirty minutes later, I greet my students as they march—or rather schlepp—into the classroom. “While you’re getting settled in at your desks, take a look at the essay choices I’ve listed on the board.”
“Essay?” Tyler, cowlick standing at attention, scowls at the board. “Bummer.”
“Hey.” Mikaela dumps her backpack on her desk, eyes tracking the topics. “Can I come up with my own?”
“That all depends on what it is.” I raise my voice to be heard over the shuffling of kids and a dozen or so conversations. “Get my approval first, and that’s fine.”
Once roll is finished and everyone’s in their seats, I retrieve my copy of To Kill a Mockingbird from my tote and drag a stool to the front of the class and sit. “Let’s talk about perspective. Who can tell me what that is in relation to a literary work?”
Nicole Palmer’s hand shoots up. “It’s like the point of view. Mockingbird is written in Scout’s point of view, so it’s her perspective.”
“Good, Nicole. Is it possible to understand the perspectives of other characters, even if we don’t have their entire story?”
Mikaela waves her hand. “You mean like Boo Radley’s?”
“Yes, like Boo’s or Jem’s or even Tom Robinson’s.”
“Sure.” Tyler says. “I mean, we can kind of guess what they must be feeling.”
“How so, Tyler?”
He taps his pencil on the desk. “Well. Can I use an example from a chapter we haven’t read yet?”
“That depends.” I grin at him. “Are you going to cite evidence from the book or the movie?”
His lips twitch, then a full-blown grin. “The book. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“Smart man. Okay then.”
“Even though Scout and Jem kind of harass Boo Radley and make things up about him, he’s protective of them.”
“And you know this how?”
“He saves their lives. And he kills that creepy Ewell when he does it. So, don’t you think he’s been watching them from the very beginning?”
Mikaela looks toward Tyler. “Who’s that?”
“Boo.” He glares at her. “Keep up, will ya?”
“No.” Mikaela points. “That.”
I follow Mikaela’s finger to the door. Jake. My heart trips. What in the world…? Warmth fills my cheeks as I jump up. “Excuse me a moment, class.”
Jake raises his hand in a wave and chatter takes off.
“Who do you think he is?”
“He’s kind of cute.”
“Think he’s Ms. O’Shay’s boyfriend?”
Hand planted on Jake’s chest, I push him, but he doesn’t budge.
“You forgot this.” He holds up the Curious George lunch box.
“What?”
“Don’t worry. I washed it.”
I grit my teeth. “You can’t be here.”
“Sure I can.” Pointing to a tag on his shirt, he smirks. “Got a hall pass.”
Just great. What reason could he have possibly given the office for his presence? “That’s not what I mean. I’m working here, Jake, and you need to leave.”
He steps around me and places the lunch box on my stool. “Morning, kids.”
A chorus of “Morning” answers. Curious eyes and grins all around.
If he thinks he can barge in here and get his way… “Leave, Jake, or I’ll call security.” I snag part of his sleeve and pull. How can he just ignore me like this?
“What are you guys working on?” His eyes roam the classroom.
Mikaela pops up. “Perspective.”
Jake nods. “Perfect.”
“Are you Ms. O’Shay’s boyfriend?”
This is ridiculous.
“No.” My negative answer is overrun by Jake’s.
“I prefer fiancé, but I’m having a tough time convincing her.”
You’ve got to be kidding me! My face must be ten shades of red. “He’s joking, kids.”
Nicole Palmer raises her hand. “What’s wrong with him?”
Mikaela snorts. “I bet he’s out of work.”
“Nope.” Jake disentangles his arm from my claws. “I’m a doctor. So, I can support her just fine.”
“Support me?” I glare at him, but he’s focused on the class. “I don’t need anyone to support me. I can take care of myself just fine.”
Jake turns to me with a hitched brow. “You don’t want to go there.” He addresses the class again. “We have a difference of perspective here.”
Tyler grins. “Really?
Oh no he doesn’t. “It’s not a difference of perspective. He lied to me.”
“Got another girlfriend, huh?” Tyler shakes his head. “I learned the hard way it’s not good to cheat.”
“I promised her father I’d keep a secret. She’s angry that I didn’t tell her.”
All bets are off. I turn on him. “You let me believe he was dead!”
“True. But once I realized I was in love with you, I forced him to come home. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“So, it’s okay to lie to someone when you’re not in love with them, is that it?”
A muscle in his jaw spasms, and his blue eyes are like ice. He takes a deep breath and faces the class. “Let’s take a vote here. Who says she should marry me?”
He doesn’t actually think I’m going to abide by the whims of a group of kids, does he?
Hands start popping up, one after another. Traitors.
I clamp onto Jake’s wrist. “Excuse us a moment, class. Anyone gets out of their seats, you’ll all get a pop quiz.” I haul Jake out to the hall.
With the door closed behind us, I whirl on Jake, who lounges against the wall with a ridiculous grin on his face. Does he have to be so darned adorable? “What has gotten into you?”
“You.” He grabs me around the waist and yanks me against his chest. “You’ve gotten into me, Tess Isabella O’Shay. Like a drug. I love you and have no intention of letting you go.”
A rush of adrenaline zings through my body, and the air leaves my lungs in a gasp. Is this what it’ll feel like every time he holds me?
“And I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”
“Then I suggest you forget the notion of marrying me.” Maybe I can forgive his one, little lie. I slap at his chest with a trembling hand.
“Not going to happen.”
He lowers his mouth to mine as a cheer goes up from inside the classroom.
Epilogue
Seven Months Later
Tess
I always thought June weddings were kind of corny, until I did a little research on the history of them. It all started in early Roman times, when they celebrated a festival to honor Juno, wife of Jupiter and goddess of marriage and childbirth, on June first. A second reason the early Romans married in June was because it followed May, which was the month of the “unhappy dead.” That was just the beginning of the history of June weddings, but it was enough to make me realize they weren’t so much corny as twisted.
Yet here I stand in the entry of the Church of the Pines on a warm June Saturday, decked out in white—and believe me, I earned it. July’s too hot, which is the reason I gave Jake to stick with June. But the truth is, I didn’t want to wait any longer. With my teaching credential in hand and Jake’s appointment at Marshall Hospital, it’s time to get on with our lives.
“You sure about this, Tessie-girl?” There’s a suspicious catch in Dad’s voice. And it’s contagious.
I nod—blasted tears—and smooth my free hand down the simple lace dress. The other has a white-knuckle grip on a bouquet of pink roses. Why am I so nervous? I search the church, past Carol and her husband, past Jake’s family, past Maris, Stephanie, and Bella’s staff, until I spot Jake standing next to Pastor Kent at the altar. His smile releases my pent-up breath and the butterflies that now take up residence in my stomach.
The music starts up, and I glance at Julia and Marty, arm in arm, waiting for my cue. Is it my imagination, or are their smiles a little more familiar than before last night’s rehearsal dinner?
Katie steps in front of me and fusses with my necklace. “I found an old photo of Mom the other day.” We share a watery gaze before she flicks at something on my dress. “Except for your hair and the color of your eyes, you look just like her.”
I clear my throat. “So do you, Kitkat.” I hook a curl of her hair behind her ear. “Which is why I’m a little over protective of you.” And had it been my decision, Tony wouldn’t be her date today. But Dad rules the roost now. Tony’s allowed to see her at family functions and at the house when Dad’s around. We’ll see how long he lasts under those conditions.
“I’m going to miss you anyway.” Her gaze drops to her dyed-pink pumps. “Why can’t you and Jake live at the house? It’s not like there isn’t room.”
Not this again.
Dad hooks an arm around her shoulders and turns her to face the congregation. “Katherine, my love, it’s your sister’s turn to fly. Newlyweds need their own space. You act as if she’s moving across the state instead of across town. Another year and you’ll be off to college.”
“Then what’ll you do, Dad?”
He looks over his shoulder at me and winks. “I’ll manage somehow.”
I’ll just bet he does, too. Won’t Katie be surprised when Dad tells her he’s handing the reins of the restaurant over to Maris and Julia for safekeeping until she finishes school? And if that’s not a shocker, the lady he met in Ireland will be. If only I could have convinced him to tell Katie sooner about her and her intended move to the U.S. She may need to help him plan another June wedding next year.
The music crescendos and the butterflies shoot up my throat. This is it. Am I making a mistake? I shift to see around the entourage in front of me and fix my eyes on Jake. My pulse slows, and I draw in a deep breath. No mistake. This is the man I love. So handsome he melts my heart with a crooked smile. A romantic who presented me with an engagement ring on Christmas Eve. A humble man who introduced me to his family like I was royalty. Who sweetly kissed my tears away the day Stephen Fields confessed to ten counts of rape. And an exciting man with whom I want to have children. Soon.
Dad takes my hand and guides it through his arm. “If you and Jake have half the love I had for your mother, you’ll be blessed for sure. I’ll be praying for your marriage every day, Tessie-girl.”
“I hope Jake knows what he’s getting into.”
Dad chuckles. “I’ve been warning him for months. If he’s surprised, he has no one but himself to blame.”
“Very funny.”
“Just remember one thing.”
We step into the church behind Katie. “What’s that?”
“Try to let him lead every now and then. It’ll give him the notion he’s in charge.”
“That won’t be hard, Daddy.” I kiss him on the cheek and smile. “I had a great role model in Mom.”
He snorts out a laugh as we take our first step down the aisle.
Jake, standing beside Pastor Kent, throws me a dimpled grin. As I respond with a wink and a smile, the butterflies in my stomach dissipate. Who knew a little creative manipulation could lead to such unimaginable blessings?
Discussion Questions
1.The theme of Surrendered is in its title, as well as weaved throughout Tess’s story. What areas of her life had she not surrendered, and what evidence does the reader find that she’s changed by the book’s end?
2.In what way is Tess’s personality a dichotomy, and why do you think this is?
3.How are the traumas of grief and assault alike? How are they different—at least for those who believe that they have eternal life?
4.In your opinion, were
Sean’s actions easily forgivable? Why or why not?
5.Which character in the story did you most connect with? Why?
Read Illusions
Book 2 Coming in 2020
Get a sneak peak at the first chapter!
Chapter One
Corey
Sins, even those buried with time, have the power to destroy. How could I have foreseen, eighteen years ago, Taylor would be victim of that destruction? A life for a life. If only I could trade places with her now.
A florescent light above her hospital bed spotlights her stark white features—and a lone drop of blood stains her left cheek like a macabre tear. So many tubes. The one attached to her mouth is ominous, plugged to a machine that sucks and whirs, breathing for her. A heart monitor beep, beep, beeps, and I’m entranced by the corresponding blips on the screen. One side of her head is shaved, a neat row of stitches, an inch long or so, stands out against her pale scalp.
Panic crawls up my throat.
What have I done?
Paul storms through the door-less entrance of Taylor’s neuro-unit ICU room. “I got here as fast as I could.” He wraps me in a fierce hug and pulls away, his eyes darting to her still form and back at me. “What happened?” The pitch of his voice, fear in his eyes, steal what breath I have left. The horror displayed in his features matches that in my heart.
I draw air in through my mouth, unable to abide the stench of antiseptic and anxiety and shake my head. “I…I don’t know.” Liar. “Car accident.”
“I know that much!” He grips the side rail, knuckles whitening. Murmured voices float from the hall, and he lowers his voice. “Why was she driving? Did you send her on an errand?”
Send her? I shake my head. She was on a mission, and I was the target. How can I tell him, though? It’ll change everything, and I can’t face that. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
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