We stopped at my old friend Linworth’s house. His mother kept saying I’ve grown a lot. So did Linworth. But he’d grown too. He changed almost completely. His voice changed and he sounds like a man. He asked for my address. I guess we’ll keep in touch.
We then went to see my cousin Nicey. She couldn’t believe it was me. She told me one of the most disappointing parts of my day—that Janice had moved. I guess I won’t be seeing her. Also my old teachers weren’t teaching anymore. We didn’t even have time to stop at our old house. We only saw it from a hilltop. I really wanted to stay. I still want to go back. The taxi took us to Ocho Rios. At least I had the beach to look forward to. Then what do you know? Devoy gets sick and we have to check out of the hotel after only one hour.
So here I am, back in St. Catherine. I guess this is where I’ll be for the whole vacation.
April 26, 1991
Dear Janice,
You wouldn’t believe how far you have to go to make a phone call in this country. Rondah and I were going to call back home to let everyone know how we are. We had to take a bus just to get to a phone. It’s unbelievable. Anyhow, Rondah called. She was on the phone for almost a half hour and no one even asked about me. It was just Devoy, Devoy. I’m not jealous but they could have at least asked how I was doing. It’s like they don’t care.
My mother wanted us, or at least Rondah and Devoy, to go back at an earlier date when she found out Devoy was sick. By the way, it’s just a cold.
We went to the movies with some of Rondah’s friends. The movie theaters here are gorgeous and they are huge! At least the one I went to was.
Tomorrow we’re going to see a play called 50/50. Everybody is talking about it so I figure it’s good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
April 27, 1991
Dear Janice,
We couldn’t get into the play because it was sold out. But it turned out to be a nice day. Rondah, Devoy, Rondah’s friend Marcia, our two cousins who we’re staying with and myself walked around Kingston and stopped at the shore of some kind of body of water, took pictures, laughed and talked. Kingston I think is the most busy place in Jamaica. It’s mostly a business area. There are tall buildings that would be hard to find anywhere else in Jamaica. There are people selling things on the sidewalk and they’ll do anything to make you buy from them. They usually travel from poorer areas or farming areas with crops or crafts that they thought people would buy. For most of them, that’s their only source of income. It pains me to see people living like that. It’s not fair that people suffer while people like Michael Jackson make millions of dollars for singing a song. There’s poverty everywhere but at least in New York people can get more help. There is always public assistance like welfare. For the homeless there are shelters. There aren’t any things like that in Jamaica. In that case, I’m lucky to be here.
April 28, 1991
Dear Janice,
I went to church today with my three cousins. The church wasn’t the best church in Jamaica, not even close. I don’t know exactly how to describe it. The seats were made out of pieces of board placed down on concrete blocks. The walls had no hint of paint, there were no doors, everything was just thrown together. My cousins tell me it used to look much better but the famous Hurricane Gilbert struck and that was it. They also told me some other stories about Gilbert.
For instance, a lady who lives in their housing scheme’s roof was blown off completely and she had to run for shelter at their house. It’s a lucky thing that nothing happened to any of my family or their homes. I remember hearing what was happening down here while I was up in New York and praying that nothing would happen to those I loved. That’s the worst feeling to have.
April 30, 1991
Dear Janice,
Right now, I’m worried out of my mind. My grandmother has taken sick and she has to go to the hospital for an operation. I can’t believe this is happening to me again. My great grandmother was sick. She had to go to the hospital. She had to take an operation. But she also never came back out. The last time I was with her was when they were putting her in her grave. This cannot happen again. One time was enough for a lifetime.
May 2, 1991
Dear Janice,
Today we went to a place called Glengoff to visit my other set of grandparents. I don’t know them very well. They’re my father’s side. There wasn’t anyone home except my father’s stepmother. My other grandmother (my father’s mother) had died when he was born. She didn’t even know who we were until we told her who we were. We showed her Courtney’s pictures. She only browsed through and gave them back. She doesn’t seem to have a very nice personality.
May 3, 1991
Dear Janice,
Today was pretty boring. In a sense it wasn’t though. Because I’ve been on the road so much, just staying home seems strange it was nice to be with Oudia she’s fun. We argue, but it’s friendly arguing. There is such a thing! Just last night we were arguing and fist fighting and I told her we’re only doing this because we love each other. Is that strange to you? It really isn’t. If you were alive with feelings you’d know what I mean. We humans are complicated creatures you know.
May 7, 1991
I’m back home! It’s almost like I never left. One thing I’ve found out about this place is you can leave for weeks or even months and when you get back you get right back into the flow of things. I’ve only been back a few hours and life has gone back to normal already. Good old Jamaica is behind me now so is the thought that everything had stayed the same after I left. It’s kind of nice to know everyone has gone on with their lives down there.
Big news! Sandra has left Dave. She just packed up her things and split. I could sense they were having problems before but it’s a shame it ended that way after two years together. He’s taking off where I’ve just left. He’s going to Jamaica on Friday. He does need a vacation badly. I’ll miss Sandra, he’s making her out to be the one at fault. I need to hear both sides though.
I’ve been calling Derek and I can’t reach him. I guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow to talk to him.
My mom’s friend is here, she just came in from Jamaica a couple days ago. She’ll be here until September and she’ll be staying with us! That’s six months! She’s here working, or at least trying to get a job. I guess there’s a lot going on back here. Nothing I can’t handle though.
May 8, 1991
Dear Janice,
I skipped school today. I needed a rest from my vacation. Have you ever heard of that? Anyways, I did reach Derek. Actually he called me. He is such a jerk! He was calling from some friends house and even though he had me on the phone, he had his concentration on his stupid friends. But that’s o.k., if he doesn’t care to hear about my vacation, I won’t care to hear about anything he says again. One of the only things he did ask me was if I bought him anything.
May 9, 1991
I want to scream! Going back to school was what I thought it would be unfortunately. It was terrible! I didn’t understand the work they were doing and I had to take tests I’d missed. It’s amazing the amount of work my class covers in two weeks. I never realized. My homeroom teacher was acting really snotty when he saw me. I had told him before I left where I was going. Still, he acted like I was playing hooky for the past two weeks.
May 11, 1991
Dear Janice,
Dave left for Jamaica today. He’s there as I write, right now. It’s his first time going back. He was really excited. He probably gets to go around more because he’s renting a car. I would have gone all over the place to all the 14 parishes.
I wrote Linworth today. I wrote that I really did want to keep in touch all those years but couldn’t. I hope he falls for it. It’s true, the part about wanting to but the real reason is I’m lazy. But now is what matters. I really would like to keep in touch.
May 13, 1991
Today I have major bad news. Derek’s phone is disconnected. There goes the relationship. I could feel it. I can’t
call him, he can’t call me, we never see each other, so is it over? I’ve noticed since my return Derek hasn’t been calling much and when he does, the conversation is terrible. I imagine now he’ll have to use a pay phone. I don’t understand this guy. What happened over those two weeks? On the plane, I felt we were so close, now we seemed to have drifted. He claims he missed me, but I just don’t know. I think I’m too young for this whole thing. He’s way older than me. He won’t tell me his right age. I guess he’s saying he’ll be whatever age I want him to be. Who knows? I just don’t know anymore.
May 15, 1991
Dear Janice,
I’m not exaggerating when I talk about how hard it is to get back in the swing of things at school. Math class has been the hardest. It’s so hard to keep up with sequential math (the course I’m taking). If you missed one thing, it’s hard to understand the other. Maybe I should have waited for summer for my little trip.
May 18, 1991
Dear Janice,
Dave came back. His vacation did do him good. He seems so happy! He was with his old girlfriend Coleen. Apparently they spent a lot of time together because she’s all he talks about. They haven’t seen each other in 5 years! That’s a lot. Anyway, they went all over the place together. He brought back a video with a lot of people from back home on it. Even Derek’s dad. Linworth was on it too. I envy him, he did everything he wanted to down there while I did what my sister wanted. It really sucks!
May 21, 1991
Dear Janice,
It’s strange to see Dave functioning without Sandra. It’s strange to see two people who were so close be like strangers in such a short while. I think that’s what’ll happen between Derek and me. He’s acting too flaky for me lately. He’s not the same person he used to be every time we talk. I get so upset when I talk to him because he’s like a rock—I can’t communicate with him. I knew when his phone cut off that that would be it! If we don’t have communication, we have nothing. So I guess right now we have nothing but a few empty phone calls.
May 22, 1991
Dear Janice,
I never updated you on my grandmother. She’s recovered from her operation and is doing well. Everyone is really relieved. I’m so happy that I’ll continue to have her in my life. I plan to visit her this weekend and give her a big hug and kiss!
May 24, 1991
Dear Janice,
I think I’m settling back down finally in school. It’s amazing how only two weeks out of school put me so far behind. I realize how hard it is for people who return to highschool. Now, it seems impossible. I guess I should stick to school so I won’t end up going back when I’m old. People should really think before they do something stupid like drop out of school. My mother did when she was 16 and had Courtney. That was the reason, and she got married at that same age. I take this case to say (and I don’t say this often) that my mother was really careless. If she reads this and kills me, I’ll regret writing it, but it’s true. Maybe that’s why she’s on my back all the time. She probably doesn’t want me to trace her footsteps. I’ll try not to—believe me!
May 26, 1991
Dear Janice,
Teniesha and her mom showed up unexpectedly tonight. I hadn’t seen her in a really long time. They took me for a ride in her mom’s fiance’s new car. We stopped off at his workplace. He works at a sort of foster home for boys. When we went in we both thought this guy was really cute. He was sitting by himself on the couch watching t.v. Little did we know the guy was mentally handicapped. The fiance really worked for a home for the mentally handicapped. It goes to show that we think of the handicapped as not being really as important as us. They are people too, no matter what! I learned something today, cuteness goes to everyone. The point is we are not superior to anyone.
May 29, 1991
Dear Janice,
Derek was acting like a real jerk on the phone today. He seemed to be around his friends, and he talked to me like he ruled me or something. He just seemed to be playing a macho role to impress his friends. I hope he doesn’t keep this crap up! He’s pulling at my last nerve! I really like him, but it’s the person he’s acting like now that makes me want to curse him out and erase him from my life. I just may do that.
June 2, 1991
Dear Janice,
School is so boring now. There is nothing to do because all the textbooks have been collected and we only have to be present at each class. We could help clean up with the teachers but I’m too lazy for that. It is so funny when you look through the window because kids are just jumping the fence one by one. Some are running through the parking lots.
Anyhow, I did get one assignment today from my Home and Careers teacher. She never quits. Earlier in the year she had made the class write about the goals we have for this, our first year in that school. Today she asked us to write about how it went. Well, to describe my essay I would say I was honest. I didn’t hesitate to tell how I felt about all my teachers whether it was good or bad.
What I learned from school was a combination of good and bad. I feel my teachers were excited about their power over students so they focused on that instead of getting through to us. I learned that life is like a garden of roses—roses are pretty to look at and you try to pick one but there’ll always be some thorns. School is the same in the sense that a good education that will bring you happiness is like looking at a pretty rose. But in getting to that education, the thorns will be the teachers you don’t like, the uninteresting classes, and the kids who want to give you a hard time.
So the good I got from this year is a greater understanding of life. The bad is I had to get pierced by some thorns to reach that understanding.
June 4, 1991
Dear Janice,
My birthday is coming. In nine days I’ll be a teenager. My parents are actually looking for an apartment to move—that’s the greatest birthday present! I’ll miss my friends and everything, but I’ll be glad to be out of this place. There’s so much about it that is so unattractive. Over the years we’ve really tried to fix it up but it always looks on the down side. I know wherever we go will be much better than here. I have a lot to look forward to now. I’m finishing school in a couple of weeks and I’m moving in probably the same amount of time. I’m really happy.
June 7, 1991
Dear Janice,
I never considered this before but when we move Rondah won’t be coming with us. The plan is that her and Phillip and the baby will be living together. This is a whole lot to take in. I’m going to miss Rondah acting silly around the house and coming home to see Devoy in his crib. It’ll only be me and my parents. What a scary thought! When I try to picture it, I see me alone in my room everyday because my mom is at work, and Daddy is sleeping because he has to rest and go to work later. I suppose I’ll see Devoy when I babysit but it won’t be the same. He will be picked up around 6 because Phillip gets off from work around that time.
I’ll miss them so much! I’m glad though that Rondah will have her independence and maybe they’ll even get married if living together works out.
June 9, 1991
Dear Janice,
I guess you could say it’s over between me and Derek! You can’t expect a great explanation because I hardly know how to explain. He’s changed so much! A little too much. All of a sudden he says I’m too young to be such a big part of his life. Remember, he never told me his age. Don’t take it like he dumped me—I was the one who said, “Don’t ever call me again.” He really did it! He treated me like dirt. We used to talk like such good friends, now he seems so self-righteous. He acts like he’s above everyone else including yours truly.
Well, it’s done with now! The worst thing is I came out of it feeling stupid for letting myself like him so much. I shouldn’t blame myself though. He was a nice person before. It’s maybe his teenage hormones that made him change like this. Whatever it was, him and it should get as far as they can out of this girl’s life. He made me feel like dirt and a wish of mine no
w is that one day I’ll be successful and rich and he’ll be just the opposite and he’ll come running back saying, “Please forgive me.” I’ll just look at him and laugh and call my butler to personally escort him out!
June 13, 1991
Dear Janice,
Today I am a teenager. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I’m so happy though. I don’t think I’ve changed since yesterday when I was twelve but it feels good to be a number that ends in teen. I didn’t do anything special, I wore a really nice jeans outfit to school that Rondah got me as a present. Everybody is sweating it (meaning, everyone likes it). Rondah always has a present for me on my birthday. My mother and father try to too. But as for Dave and Courtney, they always say to wait until next week. Then when next week comes there is never a present. They’re not like that with everyone. They always have something for their girlfriends on their birthdays. This doesn’t make me feel that they don’t love me, it makes me feel that they don’t understand that the thought to buy a present really counts with family. I think they think they’ve got your love and it really doesn’t matter. They have to understand that you have to show it sometimes.
Diary of Latoya Hunter Page 8