The harshness had fled, leaving the delightful Flint who had thrilled her last night. She wished she dared cross the living room and take him in her arms.
Maybe she hadn't given him enough credit. Maybe the man had possibilities in Robin's future, if she could only break a few more pieces off his shell. But it wouldn't be easy.
"I'll ask Maureen to come with us," he went on. "We're the only family she's got, and she deserves to be part of the celebration."
"I'd like that," Robin said. "I suppose you know about her fiancé, the one who abandoned her?" He nodded. "Do you think he might have met with an accident?"
"I'm sure someone would have notified her if he had." With his shoes off, Flint stretched his legs along the couch. His jeans and maroon polo shirt made a dark splash against the white cushions. "Frankly, I wish he had died. If that was the case, I think Maureen would have recovered."
If Frederick was the lost fiancé, would that help Maureen? Well, never mind that. With Flint in such an open mood, this was Robin’s chance to learn more about him.
In response to her questions, he described his childhood. His father had died of a heart attack when he was eleven. An only child, he'd tried to be strong for his mother, a nurse who worked long hours. After she died while he was in college, he’d spent holidays with Maureen until he and Kathy married.
He didn’t have to say that he’d been lonely. It was obvious. When Robin moved to sit beside him, he took her hand and held it.
They sat for a while in companionable silence. The living room, with its remoteness from the rumble and tumble of their everyday activities, was the perfect retreat, Robin thought.
A few minutes later, they switched off the lamp and went to the family room to watch the evening news. He didn’t react to the photos of Kathy on the wall. Did he simply not notice them, or might he finally be letting go?
*
They arrived at Disneyland early on Friday morning. Flint had decided it was worth taking a day off work to avoid the weekend crowds, although the place was still likely to be busy.
Buoyed by the children's excitement, even Maureen wore an expression of happy anticipation. Robin always got a childlike thrill as she saw the park's gates, the Matterhorn and Sleeping Beauty's castle towering ahead.
She sneaked a glance at Flint, but he was absorbed in shepherding the children. They’d said the park was special to their mother, and that their dad hadn't brought them here since Kathy's death. Robin couldn't shake the feeling that she was treading on eggshells today.
Well, she didn't plan to keep the kids at arm's length to avoid comparisons to their mother. Flint could react any way he liked. Robin intended to enjoy herself, and she might learn more about whether he really was recovering from his wife's death.
They joined throngs of people, many speaking foreign languages, but didn't have to wait more than a few minutes at the pay booths. Soon they were hurrying behind the children to catch a trolley down Main Street.
As the six of them crowded to the top of a double-decker, Robin's heart lifted. She could have credited the sunshine, or the bright colors of their surroundings, or the sight of Winnie the Pooh posing for pictures on a street corner.
But she knew it was because Flint sat beside her, absentmindedly humming the Mickey Mouse Club theme. His usually stern face softened as he watched his children bounce in their seats.
"Eight years old! We're eight years old!" sang Aaron.
"I'm going on the Indiana Jones ride first thing," announced Brick.
"Then Pirates of the Caribbean!" said Aaron.
Caitlin wore a grin like the Cheshire cat. "And then the Haunted House. I want to see how they create the illusions."
"I guess that settles the question of where we start," Flint said.
Maureen frowned at her shoes, which had medium heels. "I didn't realize the place was so large. Must we do a lot of walking?"
On his phone, Flint showed her a map of Disneyland. The two of them plotted a course to avoid any wasted motion.
Robin didn't care how much motion she wasted. She wanted to dance to the Dixieland band that was playing as they descended from the bus near the bridge to Fantasyland. She’d like to buy everyone an ice cream bar and jump up and down beside Tigger, who was entertaining a crowd of toddlers.
Flint grinned at her. "You look like a kid."
Giving Aaron a hug, Robin said, "I feel like one."
"Of course you do. You can't be more than a few years out of college," Maureen pointed out.
As Flint accompanied the children in the direction of the Indiana Jones Adventure, Robin dropped back to join the older woman. "If you get tired, there's a train that runs around the park. You could make a circuit or two and meet us at another station."
"I'll be all right." Maureen surveyed the bright surroundings as she walked. "I'm enjoying this. It’s very commercial, but it is rather fun."
"Haven’t you been here before?"
"Yes, when I was young, but I didn’t want to spoil it by visiting too often,” Maureen said. “I held off until I had children. When I realized I never would, well, it didn't seem worth coming here."
"You never got over him, did you?" Robin blurted before realizing how tactless that was.
"Of course I got over him," Maureen snapped. "Rather quickly, as a matter of fact. Why do you say that?"
Robin spotted Flint and the triplets waiting in line. "Sometimes I make false assumptions. I apologize."
"No harm done." But a thin crease across the older woman's forehead indicated she hadn't stopped thinking about Robin's remark.
When they reached the line, Flint reached out and drew Robin close. "They all want to sit next to you, but I told them I had dibs."
"I want to sit next to you, Dad!" Brick protested.
"I choose Aunt Maureen." Caitlin's kindness made Robin proud of her.
"I want Robin," Aaron said. "In case I get scared."
The ride combined the effects of a video game, a roller coaster and an adventure. "It's like being inside a movie," crowed Brick.
"I want to ride it all day," announced Aaron.
Being assaulted by deadly spears, a giant boulder, a hundred-foot cobra, bubbling lava and assorted fireballs made Robin's head throb. She was glad to hear Flint announce that they were moving on to the more familiar Pirates of the Caribbean.
"There's plenty to see," he told the kids. "And there's no reason we can't come back again every year, is there?" The kids grumbled a little, but forgot their complaints when they reached the next ride. Soon the air filled with pirates' singing as they boarded boats for their underground cruise.
"Everything appears so lifelike," Maureen said as they set sail beneath an artificial sky. She didn't look so thrilled a moment later when they plunged down a steep descent and water splashed around them, but the sight of Animatronic pirates firing at each other across the bow of the boat quickly distracted her.
Before they knew it, the ride had ended. Everyone spilled into the sunshine and headed for the Haunted House.
Even Caitlin couldn't figure out how the ghosts managed to insinuate themselves between the visitors in their carts, but she enjoyed the ride all the same. And so did everyone else.
They headed to Toon Town. With its crazy buildings and rubbery furnishings, it reminded Robin of a cartoon come to life. After that, they enjoyed It's a Small World, despite Brick's protest that his friends considered the attraction corny.
"That's the catchiest song I ever heard," Maureen complained as they floated out. "It won't stop echoing through my brain."
To compound matters, Caitlin remembered every one of the lyrics from when she'd sung the song in a first grade play, and she insisted on singing it over and over as they waited in line for pizza.
But it was Flint whose reactions fascinated Robin. He spoke very little, letting his family's good mood bathe him in a cheerful glow. He stared at each sight, from the children's jail with elastic bars to a marching band playin
g Disney tunes, as if newly awakened from a long sleep.
About three years long, Robin thought.
Watching him buy the children souvenirs, she realized with a start that she hadn't argued with the man all day. When he acted like this, it was hard to imagine arguing with him about anything. He was considerate and spontaneous, qualities remarkably lacking in his everyday life.
Would she ever understand Flint? Robin wondered after lunch as he trotted beside the children toward a Toon Town roller coaster, leaving the two women to enjoy their coffee.
"They've missed a lot, these past few years, all of them," Maureen said.
"Was he like this when Kathy was alive?" Robin asked. "Relaxed and happy?"
"When they were dating, yes." Maureen slipped off a shoe. "But after they married, they had to live on a shoestring, as people used to say. They both worked very hard, especially after the triplets were born."
"Three at once must have been difficult," Robin agreed.
"Kathy loved every minute with she spent with the children, but Flint saw her in the evening when she was exhausted from a long day." Maureen rubbed her foot discreetly. " I think that's why he's felt guilty."
"Guilty?" Robin said in surprise.
"That might be one of the reasons he's had trouble accepting her death," Maureen explained. "Grief isn't a simple thing. I also believe, although he'd never admit it, that after the shock of Kathy's death, my nephew felt angry. He was left alone with three preschoolers, and that could be overwhelming even for a strong man like him. Sometimes we resent people who abandon us even when we know it's not their. fault."
How could a woman possess so much wisdom and not see that she had held onto her own anger for forty years? Robin wondered. But she merely nodded and thought over what Maureen had said.
Flint and the children returned a few minutes later. The triplets all talked at once as they described the exciting twists of their ride.
"On to the next adventure!" declared Flint, and they set off with high spirits.
The afternoon passed in a blur of lines, rides and ice cream bars. The children ate too much junk food but appeared no worse for wear, and Flint didn't bother to chide them.
Near dinnertime, the group landed in Fantasyland, where Maureen insisted on taking the children on the Peter Pan attraction. "That's always been my favorite story," she said. "Go on, the two of you. I'm sure you can keep out of trouble until we get back."
As the foursome departed, Flint stood in the middle of Fantasyland wearing a puzzled expression.
"What's the matter?" Robin asked.
"I’m not sure what to do without the children," he said. "That's not exactly what I mean. I can think of plenty of things to do, but none of them at Disneyland."
Robin glanced at the Mad Hatter's teacups whirling off to their left. "This isn't the right section for you. You're more the Tomorrowland type, I'd say."
Late afternoon sunlight gleamed across Flint's eyes. "I just got an idea," be said. Before Robin could quiz him, he caught her arm and pulled her to King Arthur's Carousel.
"I haven't ridden one of these in years," she said.
Flint directed her onto a golden horse and flung his leg over the fierce stallion beside her. "It's the only merry-go-round I know that's big enough for grown-ups." Sure enough, they weren't the only adults riding.
The carousel accelerated faster than Robin had anticipated, but she soon caught her bearings. Between the music and the flashing circular view of crowds, the castle, the teacups and the flying Dumbos, she abandoned her reservations and settled down to enjoy herself.
Flint sat astride his stallion with devil-may-care grace, the wind whipping through his hair, his mouth curving. Reaching over to touch Robin's cheek, he called, "See? One-handed!"
"My prince!" Robin called back.
Flint's gaze locked with hers. His hand traveled up her cheek to her temple and brushed her hair.
A sense of belonging bathed Robin. They had left their ordinary world behind, and she wished they could stay this way always. She wanted to travel with Flint into new worlds, new experiences, new pleasures. From the intensity of his sidelong glances, she gathered that he felt the same.
Alarm fluttered in her throat as it struck her that she was falling in love. Until now, she'd been convinced that Flint was wrong for her. If he was really willing to open his life to her, though, maybe the idea that dreams could come true wasn't just a slogan for children.
The music ended, and Flint lifted Robin down, his hands lingering on her waist. She drew away when she saw Maureen and the triplets returning.
They raved about the Peter Pan ride with its flight over London and Neverland. We've been to Neverland, too, Robin thought. I wish we could stay there.
The family ate dinner at the Blue Bayou, a restaurant overlooking the pirate ride. Flint insisted they needed a leisurely meal to rest and recharge.
Dinner passed in a blur of childish chatter. Suddenly Aaron blurted, "Why haven't we ever come here before?"
"We used to," Caitlin said reprovingly. "Didn't we, Dad?"
"Yes, of course."
"I don't remember it, either." Brick blew bubbles through his straw into his drink.
"The Pirates of the Caribbean scared you the first time you rode on it," Flint said. "You cried the whole way through."
"No way," said Brick.
"With Mom?" Caitlin asked. "Was she there?"
Flint's mouth tightened. “You don’t remember?”
Caitlin started to shake her head, then nodded. Apparently she’d recognized her mistake.
“What's important is that we're having fun now," Maureen said firmly.
"That’s right." Flint smiled at his family. "I'm glad we came." The admission warmed Robin almost as much as their encounter on the carousel.
After dinner, they listened to a pop band in Tomorrowland. The children's faces took on the hollow look of near-exhaustion, but they refused to leave before the parade and fireworks.
When darkness lowered, Disneyland changed. Despite the bright lights and ever-present music, Robin kept the children close.
Flint walked ahead with Maureen as the little group prowled down Main Street in an ever-thickening crowd. If she were tall enough to see over people's heads, Robin thought, she might not feel so uncomfortable.
"When does the parade start?" Aaron asked.
"Soon," Robin said. "Maybe we should go find a place to stand along the route."
"It starts near Small World," Caitlin said.
Brick groaned. "Isn't that the other side of the park?"
"We could…" Robin looked around for Flint and Maureen. In the glare of lights and the shifting shadows, she couldn't spot them. More and more people seemed to be pouring into the park, including a lot of teenagers.
"Better hurry," someone said nearby. "We don't want to be late." Robin had the confusing impression she was listening to the White Rabbit.
"Where's Dad?" Aaron asked.
"We need to find him," Robin agreed. "It's time to line up for the parade."
"There's too many people." Caitlin caught her hand. "Robin, I want to go home."
"Let's find your father first." Had he and Maureen gone into a shop without telling her? Didn't he realize that she couldn't spot him amid all these people?
She was about to call him when Aaron said, "Where's Brick?"
Robin realized she was clutching two children but hadn't seen or heard from the third for several minutes. "Caitlin, have you seen him?"
"He's always wandering off," the little girl said.
Robin couldn't see Brick anywhere. When she shouted his name, her voice got lost in the hubbub. She tried to phone him, then Flint, but neither call went through.
The crowd carried them deeper into the park. She gazed anxiously for a park employee who might direct them to security, but there were too many people.
Suddenly a figure loomed from the crowd— Flint, clutching Brick by the arm.
; Anger flashed in his eyes. "I saw him in the middle of the street, in tears. What were you thinking?"
"We got separated," Robin said. "Brick, are you all right?"
"He wandered off," Caitlin told her father.
Flint's rage focused on Robin. "It was your responsibility to watch the kids. The child was terrified."
"I'm okay," Brick protested.
"That isn't the point." Flint's baritone carried over the noise. "I trusted you with my children."
"If you hadn't gone wandering off yourself, this wouldn't have happened," Robin flared. "We searched everywhere."
"Not everywhere enough, apparently," Flint snapped.
"I'm not tall enough to see over this crowd." She refused to let him lay the blame on her. "I tried to call but got your voice mail. Where were you?"
"Please don't fight," Caitlin said.
"I'm sorry." Brick chewed on his lip. "I didn't mean to cause trouble."
Flint glowered, but bit back the angry words. "Let's not make an issue of this. It's time for the parade."
Maureen appeared, holding a package. She seemed unaware of the disturbance, and Robin didn’t want to fight any more, either.
She understood why Flint was upset, but couldn't he give her a little credit? She’d done her best.
Seeing Brick lost and tearful must have struck at Flint's heart. He'd misdirected his anger, and Robin had been the obvious target. That understanding didn’t make his words sting any less. Sometimes, she reflected, it was easier to understand a man than to forgive him.
She hadn't been honest with herself earlier when she'd decided she was falling in love with Flint. The truth was that she had fallen in love with him a long time ago. She loved him, but she didn't know if she could live with him. Not unless he stopped lashing out at her whenever something set off his temper.
They found a place where the children could sit down in front of the crowd lining the street. The parade began, a riot of lights and music slipping by with favorite Disney characters in costume. Robin had to force herself to register what she was viewing.
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