by Lexi Blake
“Can I ask why you’re interested?” She put the question in a soft tone, not wanting to offend, but her curiosity got the better of her.
“Isn’t everyone interested in love?” Suzanne asked wistfully. “I suppose not. Like I told you before, I consider myself a decent matchmaker. I would have put you with him in a heartbeat. You mesh quite well. That’s the key to a good pairing. Each partner lifts the other up. Your weaknesses would be bolstered by his strengths, and vice versa. Perhaps you’re not ready.”
“Perhaps he’s not ready,” Jules shot back, though she’d thought the same thing the day before. She wasn’t even sure why she was talking, but it seemed to come naturally around the brunette. “I thought we had an agreement but he almost immediately changed it. I think he wants me if I’m convenient.”
“Oh. That’s not good at all,” Suzanne said with a shake of her head. “It makes me sad. He struck me as a man who would be willing to go far for a woman he cared about. You know the type. They treat all women alike until they find the right one. So the first time you gave him trouble he dumped you?”
“No. He didn’t dump me. Not yet. I’m afraid he’s about to.” She’d understood why he’d left her the night before, but this morning had the definite feel of a brush-off to her. She’d called him and asked if they could go to breakfast. His phone had gone to voice mail. Instead of calling back, he’d told her via text he had to come into work early and he’d see her there.
Suzanne waved a hand and Jules got another look at the mark on her wrist. A single quarter-sized round mark that had to be a brand. What was that about? “That sounds like pessimism. No one ever got what they wanted by thinking it wouldn’t happen. You should go in there and find out what he’s afraid of. Men do silly things when they’re afraid. Women, too. Foolish things they think they can’t take back. I’ve found the key to it all is to have a little faith. Nothing is taken without something being given back.”
Jules held up her prosthetic, letting go of her curiosity about the mark. “You’ll forgive me if I disagree. Well, I guess they gave me this plastic thing. Not a good trade-off in my eyes.”
“No, you’re not looking at it in the proper fashion. You were given a challenge, Juliana,” Suzanne said quietly. “That’s something a lot of people don’t get. The ones like you, the ones given a great challenge to overcome, get to truly find out what they’re made of. It’s a harsh lesson at times, but how good it must be to know that you can face it all. How confident a woman that must make you. That’s the gift.”
The gift? There had been pain and loss. No gift. She certainly wasn’t more confident.
“Tell me something, Juliana,” Suzanne said. “How are the recipes coming? The ones from your grandmother’s book.”
The words startled her for a moment. “How did you know about that?”
“You mentioned it a while back,” Suzanne replied with a smooth smile. “You said you were trying to make the recipes easier to deal with because you missed them. You wanted to substitute in easier to deal with ingredients.”
For the life of her, she couldn’t remember that conversation, but then sometimes dinner service was a whirl of activity. All the time, really. “Uhm, it’s not going well, actually. Everything I try seems a little off. I guess my grandmother knew what she was doing. I’ll miss those foods.”
“Why?”
“I can’t cook the way I used to.”
Suzanne laughed brightly and waved her hand. “Oh, is that all? Well, then you’ll find another way to cook, won’t you?” She stood up. “Never give up on your dreams. We’re lost when we give up. I think I’ll go introduce myself to Ms. Young. I suspect she’s not one to give up on her dreams, either, though I believe she left something behind in that hometown of hers. Well, I suspect he’ll show up eventually. All the good ones do.”
She watched as the singer greeted Suzanne like an old friend.
Jules turned to walk away as the door to the kitchen opened and Javier stuck his head out.
“Good, you’re here. I need you,” he said briskly.
She followed after him, the odd conversation with Suzanne playing through her head. There wasn’t time to think about it now, though.
Except she couldn’t help but think about the part where she was inconvenient. She’d been inconvenient for most of the time she’d known Javier. She’d kind of driven him crazy. He was in a bad place with his brother. She should give him some space.
Or she should figure out what her real place with him was.
The kitchen buzzed all around her, every station hopping with action, and the sweet smell of barbecue permeated the air.
“Can we talk for a minute?” Jules asked. “You never got back to me about what happened last night. Is Rafe all right?”
He stopped and turned to her, his expression softening. “I’m sorry about this morning. And last night. I got busy and I didn’t call you. That was wrong of me.”
At least he wasn’t pushing her away. “What happened?”
He moved to one of the stations that wasn’t being used. “There was another break-in. I told you about how the night of the blackout someone broke in and messed my place up. Well, it happened again. Sweetheart, Rafe is in trouble. I don’t know what kind of trouble yet, but some guys hurt him last night.”
So much shifted and slipped into place. She’d been around Rafe enough to suspect a few things about him, but she hadn’t talked to Javier because she wasn’t sure how he would take it. Now she couldn’t hold back. All the secrecy, the bouts of anger and depression, the refusal to even try to walk…it added up in her mind.
“Check his pain meds.” She hated the fact that she had to tell him this, but she’d been thinking about it a lot. “He’s far enough out from the original injury that he shouldn’t need the strong stuff.”
Javier’s face went blank. “He recently had surgery.”
“And I bet he’s taking more than the prescribed amount. Javier, I know he’s your brother and you love him, but I’ve seen this happen a lot,” she replied. “Those drugs are habit forming if you don’t carefully watch your intake. It’s best to get off them as soon as you possibly can function without them.”
“He’s not a drug addict.” Javier’s arms crossed over his chest.
Damn it, she shouldn’t have said anything, but she couldn’t stop now. She understood what he was trying to do, but Rafe’s choices were putting Javier in danger. His place had been broken into twice, and if Rafe couldn’t handle his bills, they would come after Javier. “You have to confront him about it. He’ll lie to you, but you can get him to admit it. That’s the first step.”
“He doesn’t need steps,” Javier said stubbornly.
“Babying him isn’t going to help.” She’d seen too many good men and women go wrong because their family wouldn’t accept what the problem was. She got it. She did. It was hard to send a child/sibling/parent off to war only to have them come home to face something even worse than losing a limb.
“Babying him?” Javier practically shouted the question. “How the fuck can you say that? He lost both his legs.”
She lowered her tone. “A lot of people lost pieces of themselves. Sebastian lost both legs, too. How long was it before he was walking? Rafe should be walking by now. He isn’t because he doesn’t want to, likely because he’s addicted to his pain meds and they dull every single sense he has.”
He frowned at her. “You don’t know him. Rafe wouldn’t do that.”
“You know he’s been abusing alcohol,” she pointed out. She wasn’t sure why he was being so resistant. It was obvious to her Rafe needed help, and it wouldn’t come in the form of pretending everything was okay. “How is this different? And it explains why you’ve had bad dudes at your apartment. They were looking for money or product.”
His jaw went tight. “Like I said, you don’t know anything about my brother. He wouldn’t do that to me. Now, on to the reason I called you back here. I need someone cutting
veg. Use the new cutting board and I’ll get you a proper knife. I need a medium chop on those onions.”
She stopped, surprised at the command coming from him. And the nature of the command. She glanced at the cutting board like it was a snake that would bite her if she let it. “I’m the hostess, Javier. Or have you forgotten that? I don’t work in the kitchen.”
“Drake has the flu and Ben’s father had a heart attack. Chef gave him the night off. I had to shift everyone around. I need my line chefs working on the dishes,” he said brusquely. “You’re the only one with experience.”
She shook her head. “I can’t.”
Javier’s dark eyes narrowed. “Are you telling me you don’t know how to? Because you’re a trained cook. You might not have graduated from a famous culinary academy, but you’re trying to tell me your mother didn’t even teach you knife skills?”
“I did her mis en place for years. Of course I know how to dice an onion,” she replied tightly, well aware every eye was on them.
“Then get to it. Like I said, I need a medium chop. It shouldn’t be hard. I’m not asking for brunoise. I need that bag cut within the next…” He looked over to Jaylen’s section. “How soon you need the onions?”
“I need to start in twenty, Chef,” Jaylen replied with a sheepish look her way.
“You have twenty minutes.” He turned to walk back to his station.
She reached out for him. “I can’t, Javi. Have you noticed that this hand no longer works? It’s not there so I can’t use it.”
“Then use your other hand, damn it. That one still works fine.” He walked over to the cutting board. It had been sitting there for days, taunting her. He pulled out an onion and placed it on the board. He pointedly placed his right arm behind his back and used his left hand to cut the onion in two. Within seconds he had that sucker peeled and he placed it on the spikes to keep it still. He eased the chef knife sideways, cutting from the top to the bottom, and then brought it down from the outside in to dice.
He was fluid and graceful. He was quick. He’d done it all with one hand, and not his dominant one.
She felt her skin flush with embarrassment. “How long did you practice that? Trying to show up the new chef? Or is this performance all for me?”
He stared at her, a look that could have frozen water. “This is about you wasting your talent smiling at people and making sure they know where to sit. You’ve worked in kitchens all your life. You know that everyone throws in when we need it. Are you going to do what I asked or should I call Ally in here? She doesn’t have your experience, but she knows how to fucking try.”
“I’ll get her.” And then she just might walk out of here. He was an asshole and she should have seen it from the beginning.
“So I shouldn’t baby Rafe, but it’s okay to baby you,” he said, his voice low.
She turned on him. “I was unaware you were babying me at all.”
His eyes closed briefly. “Jules, this is stupid. You can do this. You’re trying to find any way to make your life happen except to do the actual work you need to do to be who you want to be.”
The actual work had been thousands of hours spent toiling beside her mother, learning knife techniques when she was a kid. She’d given half her life to this fucking profession and it was all blown to hell because she’d needed to get away from her mom, to prove to herself that she could be independent. The last thing she needed was some man to tell her what to do.
Not only had Javier been manipulating her, he’d put her on display, berating her in front of everyone.
Of course, she’d also told him his brother was an addict in front of everyone. Maybe he thought it was good payback.
“Fuck you, Javier.” She turned and walked out.
And immediately ran into Chef. Sean Taggart was standing there, leading someone into the kitchen.
From the looks on their faces, they’d heard everything.
Jules stared at the woman she’d been fairly certain she wouldn’t see again. “Hi, Mom.”
Chapter Nine
Javier watched her walk away and felt a pit open in his gut.
What the hell had he done? Why had he pushed her like that?
He glanced around and everyone was suddenly very interested in the work in front of them. Their heads were down, the perfect image of professionals, but they’d all witnessed what he’d done to her.
It wasn’t what he’d meant to do. He’d meant to play a long game. He’d brought in the cutting board. It was the first step. If he could get her interested in practicing the basics, she would figure out that she wasn’t as limited as she thought she was.
And then she’d stood there and told him he was babying Rafe. The accusation had rankled especially because he knew damn well he was babying her.
Fuck.
He had to talk to her. He started out the door but was stopped when Chef walked in.
“Excuse me,” Javier said, ready to walk around him.
Sean put a hand out. “Are you going after Jules? You the one who put that look on her face?”
Shit. Sean could be super protective of the women who worked for him. The men, too, but that came out in another way. When it came to a woman Sean felt a responsibility to, he could get downright mean. But he needed to understand that Jules was Javier’s responsibility and she was going to stay that way.
Unless she told him to fuck off and left town. Which she might after what he’d done to her.
“We had a disagreement. I gave her a direct order and she didn’t take it well,” he admitted.
One brow rose over Sean’s eyes. “You did? Over the cutting board? I’ve been waiting for you to do that for days, man. You’re not going to get her to try by easing her into it. She needs to be pushed into it. She’s not a weak woman. Treat her like she’s still in the military.”
“I tried. It didn’t go well.”
Macon cleared his throat. “There were other things said. Things no commanding officer would say to his inferior.”
Sean looked to the pastry chef. “Why do you know about it?”
“Because they threw down in front of the entire kitchen,” Macon admitted. “And it was a pretty spectacular fight. When she said she couldn’t do it, Javier showed her up. Put one hand behind his back and proved he could.”
Sean winced. “No wonder she looked like that. Well, you can’t go after her now. She’s had some unexpected company. It looks like the network sent out special invites to some of the bigwigs to tonight’s performance. Guess who took them up on it?”
He was confused for a moment and then a few things fell into place. The woman at Jules’s apartment had been looking for her, but not for nefarious reasons. “Her mother.”
“Yeah,” Sean admitted. “I think Linc nearly had a heart attack. That kid likes decorating way too much. How did he survive Army barracks? Anyway, she’s out there and I have Jules setting her up. Your fight’s going to have to wait. We’ve got less than an hour before the rest of the invitees show up. I need everyone focused. Where are we on the meatball sliders?”
Jaylen held a hand up. “Uhm, I kind of need those onions.”
Fucking onions. “I’ll cut them myself. I tried to get Jules to help out. It did not go well.”
“Apparently you were an ass,” Sean said. “If it helps, you were always going to have to be an ass about this. She needs the push. Face it, man. This is what it means to be in a relationship.”
“I’m not very good at it.” He had a sinking feeling. “Maybe I should go back to broom closet hookups. They don’t need anything from me. It’s a lot easier.”
He didn’t seem to be good at any of it. He was fucking up with Rafe. He’d just broken something inside Jules, and it hadn’t been his intention. Not at all.
She’d said something about not being ready for a relationship. Maybe he was the one who wasn’t ready. Maybe he never would be.
Sean sighed. “It might be easier, but empty hookups aren’t what will
make your life worthwhile. I’ll go and ask Ally or Tiffany to help with prep. That said, our guest would like to introduce herself.”
He opened the kitchen door and a petite blonde dressed in a beautiful yellow sundress and cowboy boots walked in.
Every guy in the place perked up because that was one gorgeous woman. She had a bright smile and mischievous eyes, as though she knew her place in the world and sat back and enjoyed the ride. She was exactly the type of woman he would have tried to spend a little time with before.
And he couldn’t work up the will to smile at her because she wasn’t Juliana.
“Hi, everyone. I’m Emily Young and I’m going to be coming through town again in a few months with Luke Berry and I can’t thank you enough for hosting this little warm-up session for me. Everything smells like heaven. I can’t wait for supper, but I wanted to come back here and beg you to please come out and enjoy the show. I know you all have work to do, but I need a real audience, if you know what I mean. I can’t think of anyone I would like to perform for more than a bunch of American heroes who served our country proudly and who also happen to know how to cook. Chef Taggart, do you hire any men who aren’t incredibly hot?”
That had every man in the place chuckling. He would hand it to her. She was charming as hell.
So why was he stuck on a sarcastic, introvert of a woman who couldn’t see that she was holding herself back? Why did it have to be Jules?
“You know, my wife does a lot of the hiring,” Sean was saying. “I would say she has a type.” He clapped his hands. “So let’s get working. Don’t let the lady down.”
As Emily made her way around the kitchen introducing herself and asking tons of questions, Javier found Ally and they started the prep. Every time he looked up from his station, he wanted to see Jules there, glimpsing over and smiling at him, working with him, challenging him.
It couldn’t work if she wouldn’t try.