by Erika Rose
“What? God, slow down Cayden. Where is this coming from?” Larry asked through a nervous laugh. When Cayden kept quiet it all fell into place for Larry. “Oh, I get it. You’re getting into her pants.”
“Larry if you want to keep your job, I suggest we imagine this conversation never happened and you walk out of here smiling.”
Larry nodded stiffly and slammed Cayden’s glass office door on his way out.
Cayden knew he should’ve expected it but he was still surprised when the door was ripped open by a furious Anna. Her sky blue eyes that would haze over with passion when they made love were now iced over from anger. “What the hell just happened?” She demanded furiously.
Cayden sat down behind his desk, his movements controlled. “I told Larry F&B if he so much as smiles at you again it’s his job.”
“You did what?” Anna asked surprised. “Who the hell gives you the right to dictate who I speak to?”
“You’re mine.” Cayden said as if it explained everything. He’s temper was still snapping at the edges.
“No, I’m not yours Cayden. If I were it would mean I’m your girlfriend. Since we’re just fucking each other like you succinctly put it, I don’t belong to you. Belonging to you would mean commitment. It would mean you have a toothbrush at my place.”
“What the hell does a toothbrush have to do with any of this?” Cayden stood up and slammed his hands on the table.
“Cayden we’ve been sleeping together for months, but you’re so in denial about the fact that we’re in a relationship you don’t leave any evidence of it at my place. If I didn’t know better you sweep the place with a magnifying glass before you leave each morning, anything to make sure you don’t leave anything behind. Any evidence that we’ve long passed the screwing stage and actually entered into relationship territory.” Anna stood with her hands on her hips.
Cayden couldn’t help but appreciate the sexy sight she made when she was in a full blown tiff. If they weren’t at the office he would’ve loved to kiss her into submission, but he knew she had a point. He didn’t leave anything behind when he stayed over, that would mean they were more than screwing, and Cayden wasn’t ready for that.
“I’m just meticulous about my things.”
“Bullshit!” Anna called him out. “You’re so goddamn scared of commitment one would swear it’s damn leprosy. You dance around the truth in denial.”
“I’m not in denial, and we don’t have a relationship.”
“Then why did you just go at Larry F&B for speaking to me. We were having an honest goddamn conversation and you threaten him with his job.”
“He was out of line.”
“What? Because he spoke to your fuck buddy? Are all your fuck buddies limited to female conversation only? God forbid they have a conversation with a man. Jesus Cayden, you might not know it but you’re only the third guy I’ve been intimate with. Could you at least give me a little credit?”
“The third…” Cayden said shocked by her words. The thought of two guys rocking her body made his temper flare again until reality settled in. Anna wasn’t easy if anything regardless of their history together she was quite picky about who got into her pants.
“So you tell me now Cayden, am I your girlfriend? Because you don’t get to go around threatening my friends and demanding my commitment, when you’re not willing to commit.”
Cayden felt a shudder run through him, commitment…relationship…girlfriend…
“No, you’re not my girlfriend. If you were I would’ve told you.”
Anna shook her head as a sad smile appeared. “I really wish your answer was different.”
CHAPTER 16
Anna finished typing the letter and read it over for about the millionth time. Every time she only changed the punctuation or a word here and there, anything to avoid hitting the send button.
After their argument this morning Anna knew Cayden would never be able to commit. From what she could tell Rosi’s was the only commitment he had and took seriously. She respected him for it, but anyone needed balance.
She couldn’t continue being completely committed and loyal to him when he couldn’t even accept the fact that they were in a relationship. If he had admitted they were in a relationship she would’ve appreciated his protectiveness, but they weren’t. She wouldn’t tell Cayden that Larry F&B actually gave her the creeps. Even though he seemed charming at first, lately he’d been coming on to strong for Anna’s liking.
But just the way Cayden handled it irked Anna. No one was allowed to know about their affair, a secret he said… A secret that had Anna feel both wanted and shamed at the same time.
That familiar shame of growing up in a trailer park had haunted her the past few weeks. Was that why he wouldn’t publicly admit their affair? How could the billionaire owner of Rosi’s date a girl from a trailer park?
She had tried coaxing any emotion out of him for weeks, but nothing. It didn’t matter how much of herself she gave, he gave nothing back but his body. His emotions were guarded behind a steel curtain; the only indication of them was his temper when it came to Larry F&B.
Anna couldn’t continue like this. She had fallen in love with her commitment-phobic boss. The fact not only scared the bejesus out of her, but it hurt like hell. She couldn’t keep working for him, because then she would keep sleeping with him.
Unsuccessfully she had tried staying away from him, but whenever he gave her that arrogant grin, all her defenses crashed to the ground. She couldn’t resist him.
So she read over her resignation one last time and swallowed the tears that threatened to stream down her face and hit the send button.
For Cayden she typed a quick but emotionally detached email.
Cayden,
Callie’s coming over tonight; we’re having an impromptu girl’s night.
Anna.
She didn’t want to say anymore or any less. If she told him more he would want specifics on when he would see her again and if she said less he would want to know why he couldn’t come over.
Satisfied and sad, Anna switched off her computer as her phone beeped in her handbag. Callie. She checked the text.
Be there in an hour, make sure there’s wine.
At least she didn’t lie about Callie coming over, Anna thought as she packed the few personal things on her desk into her handbag. He just wouldn’t know Callie was coming to help her pack and move back to Manhattan.
Anna opened the door knowing it would be Callie, she didn’t even attempt to hide her tear stained cheeks or the mascara stained eyes. Callie had seen her much worse in the past. Especially after she found out her father was drinking again after being sober for six months. The only six months she could remember having an honest conversation with him. The disappointment of back then was now magnified about two hundred times. Add in the shame and pain of heartbreak and she didn’t care about the fucking smudged mascara.
“Oh baby.” Callie said stepping inside and closing the door behind her. She set down her bag and pulled Anna into a hug. “Annie, tell me what happened.” She soothed as she stroked Anna’s hair.
“I’m in love with him.” Anna sobbed against Callie’s shoulder.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Callie enquired carefully.
“No, because he doesn’t love me back.” Anna choked out the words nearly tripping over them.
“Oh baby, are you sure?”
“He refuses to admit we’re more than just fuck-buddies. We’ve been seeing each other secretly for months Callie.” Anna sniffed loudly and stepped out of Callie’s embrace to meet her eyes. “He doesn’t want anyone to know we’re seeing each other. He keeps telling me I belong to him but he denies I’m his girlfriend.”
“Serious commitment issues.” Callie said on a sigh. “I’d thought you’ve moved past that?”
“I know. I hoped I could change it, but I couldn’t.” Anna sobbed.
“Maybe he ju
st needs more time?” Callie asked gently as she rubbed Anna’s arm.
“I can’t give him more time Callie. I’m in too deep already, what if he never admits it? I can’t spend more time with a man that refuses to admit he feels something for me.”
Callie sat down on the couch tugging Anna to join her and waited for Anna to continue.
Anna sat down and cast her eyes towards the floor. “What if he’s ashamed of me Callie, what if it is because I grew up in a trailer park? Then he’s never going to come around.”
“Fuck him.” Callie said furiously. “If that’s what you think this is about, then fuck him. Then he doesn’t deserve you. He can take his pompous ass and commitment issues someplace else, ‘cos we don’t have time for dicks like him.”
Anna couldn’t help the giggle that intermingled with the sobs at Callie’s words. “Thanks Callie.”
“Only a pleasure. Anyone can see you’re one in a million, if he can’t see it then it’s his problem. Let’s get you packed up and back to the city, he can find someone else to dance to his control freak ways.” Callie stood up and looked around the place as if mentally charting what needed to be packed.
“I’m not going to get a reference probably, that means I’ve just wasted all these months.” Anna said dejectedly as she stood up.
“Nonsense, you don’t need a reference from him. You can ask anyone in management, what about the guy that dropped off the flowers?”
“Larry F&B, I doubt it. That’s the reason I resigned. Cayden all but threatened him with his job today if he didn’t leave me alone, and that after we just had a conversation.”
“Crap! He is a control freak.” Callie chewed her thumbnail for a moment before a smile spread across her face. Anna could tell it was forced but she appreciated it anyway. “Don’t worry we’ll think of someone. Maybe one of the waitresses liked you.”
Anna laughed at Callie’s words as she moved to the spare bedroom to collect the boxes she had only unpacked months before and had yet to dispose of.
“Maybe.” She said putting the boxes down in the small living room.
Callie held up a bottle of wine triumphantly. “I found some expensive wine in your cupboard; since I know you won’t spring for something this expensive I take it Cayden bought it?”
“Yes.” Anna said recognizing the label. It was his favorite red wine. The one they normally drank with dinner.
“Great, let’s get sloshed!” Callie smiled as she took two glasses down and poured the wine in. They’re glasses clinked and Callie sipped slowly. “Wow this is great, but I’m still not paying whatever this bottle costs.” Callie winked at her over the glass taking another indulgent sip.
Anna laughed, glad she had phoned Callie. If anyone could get her out of the funk she was in and play sounding board at the same time it was Callie. “Thanks for coming over. I don’t think I mentioned it between the sobs and the pity party.”
“I love a good pity party, besides at least yours come with good wine.” Callie said as she started stacking DVD’s into a box. “You do the cups. I’m not touching those holy cups of yours, especially because I intend to finish that bottle of wine.”
Anna laughed and collected a few towels before meticulously wrapping her Royal Albert cups and saucers in them. She pushed the sadness away that threatened to take over again.
“Are you really sure you don’t mind me moving back, Callie?”
“Of course. I mean I don’t mind living on my own but it’s more fun when you’re there. I’ve always got my best friend on hand. Like back in college.”
Anna smiled for Callie’s benefit but felt like she was moving back in time again.
Tomorrow night she’d be back where she started. In Callie’s apartment; with no job, no place of her own and no boyfriend.
Cycles, she thought. It was disturbing how life ran in cycles and to Anna it seemed that she never completely crossed the starting line. Every time she thought she was well on her way something would happen that made her circle all the way back to start again like in Monopoly. The only problem was she never collected the bonus when she crossed the starting point again.
CHAPTER 17
Cayden woke up groggy from too little sleep and too much whiskey from the night before. Since Anna had Callie over for the girl’s night, he couldn’t go over and work out the situation between them as he had come to think of it.
His phone buzzed on the dark mahogany bedside table beside him. It would probably be Anna so he rubbed a hand over his day’s worth of stubble and cleared his throat before answering.
Elizabeth? He frowned at the caller identity. It was Saturday, the only reason Elizabeth would be calling was if there was an emergency at Rosi’s.
He swiped the answer button. “Elizabeth?”
“Good morning to you too Cayden.” Elizabeth bit back cattily.
“Good morning Elizabeth. Now we’ve got the pleasantries out of the way, what’s wrong?”
“God, it’s depressing that you’re the only guy I call and when I call you always think something’s wrong. Then people still wonder why I bat for the other team.”
Cayden couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. “Yeah, yeah.”
“Right, so down to the reason for this call. I don’t have a problem, you do.”
Cayden felt his irritancy notch up a couple of levels higher; she was avoiding the problem to get him to pay more attention to it. A technique that invariably worked, but irked him still. “What problem do I have?”
“You don’t have an assistant on Monday.” Elizabeth said almost triumphantly. “I knew she wasn’t going to make it.”
“What?” Cayden barked over the phone. “What do you mean I don’t have an assistant Monday?”
“Anna, she resigned.” Elizabeth answered flatly.
“When, what…why the fuck would she resign?” Cayden fumbled over the words trying to make sense of them himself.
“Yesterday afternoon. She emailed it to the HR company we use who forwarded it to me. The reason she stipulated was that, I quote: ‘Although Rosi’s is a dynamic company with excellent leadership, I’m afraid I’m not a good fit for their team.’ Unquote. Does this make sense to you? If so, what did you do?” This time it was Elizabeth who sounded irritable.
“Shit!” Cayden said rubbing a hand over his eyes, hoping this was all just a mistake.
“I repeat Cayden, what did you do? I thought she was so wonderful at her job?”
“She is; she was. I don’t know. This is just a misunderstanding Elizabeth, I’ll sort it out.” He said with finality indicating the conversation had come to an end.
“Cayden if this about the fact that you’re sleeping with her, you might want to clear up the personal part before you clear up the business part.”
Cayden nodded almost to himself knowing he needed to sort out their situation first when the bullet hit him between the eyes. “What? You knew?”
“Seriously Cayden, everyone knows. The temperature climbed about ten degrees whenever you were in the same room. You didn’t exactly hide your possessive streak when it came to Larry either.”
“Shit, Larry spoke to you?”
“He didn’t have to. I saw everything from my seat in the boardroom. Larry speaks to Anna; you excuse yourself from said meeting with yours truly and summon Larry into your office. Larry slams the door behind him with a pissed off expression and Anna goes in ready to murder you. I would’ve had to be blind not to notice.”
“Shit, again.” Cayden said dejectedly.
“Listen Cayden whatever’s going on in your personal life, sort it out. We had a deal remember; if you don’t have an assistant you no longer have me.”
“Yeah I know.”
“Great. I’m off to enjoy my weekend then; I hope you manage to find a new assistant by Monday.” Elizabeth said chirpily before she cut the line.
Cayden let out a deep sigh. How didn’t he see th
is coming? He should’ve sorted this out yesterday. Why didn’t he?
Right, she wanted commitment. Commitment Cayden wasn’t going to give. Not to Anna or any other woman. If she thought she was going to push him into a corner by resigning, she was wrong.
By late afternoon Cayden still hadn’t heard a word from her, he had expected to at least receive a text or something in the form of contact. He’d already cleaned his gas grill; played two hours worth of games on his phone and had started reading a book four times until he gave it up. Nothing seemed to take his mind off Anna.
It was like he expected her to step through the door any moment, like she always did. With her chocolate brown hair cascading over her shoulders, a smile was spreading on her lush pink lips and her bright blue eyes greeting him warmly.
He had promised himself this morning he wouldn’t go to her. He wouldn’t go begging for answers or for her to reconsider her job. But now as the afternoon slowly receded giving way to the cooler fall night, Cayden couldn’t hold it anymore.
He grabbed his keys, cursing himself as he walked out the door.
By the time he pulled up to her apartment building his temper was sizzling, ready to explode. She couldn’t demand commitment from him and then when he denied it she walked out on her job. That was emotional blackmail, wasn’t it?
He knocked on her door and waited for her to open. After a minute he knocked again, impatiently.
After the fourth time he tried phoning her, but her phone was switched off.
Cayden started feeling the distaste of guilt climb up his throat as he headed down to the doorman.
“Number 87, is she out?” Cayden asked the man gruffly.
“87? Yeah, she’s out.” The old man with skin as black as dark coffee answered easily. “Left this morning and ain’t coming back either.”
“What do you mean she left and ain’t coming back?” Cayden asked confused.