by Xavier Neal
My cock swells ready to offer its own surrender. “Fuck, babe. I’m coming.”
Blazing bursts flood down the back of her throat like oblations. Syd moans and swallows behaving as if they actually are. As if any gift to her is a gift worthy of praise. As if she is the Goddess that I worship.
By the stars, I absolutely do.
When Syd releases her hold on me, I almost stumble backwards. The lack of stability in my knees is expected, but her pride in being the cause of it, seems to make the ground shake.
She slowly pulls my shorts up, stands onto her feet, and slips a chaste kiss onto my lips.
Too far gone to think let alone say anything, I allow her to lead us out of the room back to where my friends are sitting around the table, emptying the two bowls.
Syd sweetly suggests, “Why don’t you go play another couple of hands while I get started?”
I nod and release her hand to slide back into my seat.
She saunters into the kitchen enslaving my attention once more. Her sports bra is slightly crooked. Her hair is disheveled. Her lips are swollen, and her eyes still watery. All the evidence she’s been recently had in some way is being showcased in an honored light.
A crooked smirk creeps onto my face as I turn to face my friends. Unfortunately, it’s immediately wiped away by the all-knowing looks and unified laughter.
Instead of shying away from the judgments, I give a small wink, and joyfully ask, “Who’s ready to play another hand?”
Never in a million eons did I think one soul would set mine on fire like this. I know The Universe has plans upon plans, I just pray that keeping me and Syd together is one of them.
10
Sydney
They like to say when it rains it pours, but I know if the old idiom maker took a good look at my life, he or she would cringe and rewrite it to say something like…when it rains, take shelter because there’s a fucking hurricane about to hit.
“What do you mean you didn’t get my payment?” I deeply sigh into the phone. “I’ve got autopay!”
“According to our records, miss, that expired two months ago.”
My hand dramatically hits the countertop. “What the hell do you mean it expires?!”
“Your autopay was linked to your card not your bank account, so when the card expired, your automatic payments did as well. The first missed payment was rolled over onto the second with a fee. The second missed payment, which occurred last week is what resulted in turning your power off.”
I let my head fall in defeat.
“We can gladly have that turned back on for you; however, we are going to need a reactivation fee and the missed payments.”
My mouth quietly confesses, “I don’t have that kind of money.”
There’s a long lull proceeded with, “I’m sorry, miss. There’s nothing else I can do for you.”
“Thank you for your time.”
“Have a nice a day!”
“You too.” After ending the call, I shut my eyes tight, and swallow the tears clogging my throat.
Living permanently by candlelight. That should be fun, right? I’ve done it temporarily….
“Did you buy bread?” Birdie questions as she comes wobbling into the room. “Garlic breadsticks?”
I sniffle away the remaining tears and meet her stare. “Of course.”
“Not that French bread nonsense. Even the birds hate it.”
“I know.”
“I’m not supposed to eat that much bread.”
“I know.”
“Or butter.”
“I know.”
“Or garlic.”
Instead of repeating myself any further, I simply smile, glad to see her in better spirits.
All of a sudden, her front door cracks open and Chance’s gorgeous face takes my breath away.
What! He’s like, movie star pretty! It’s hard not to just gawk when he walks into a room! Yes. Even now. Even after months of dating. There’s something about his piercing blue stare that has a way of owning my soul with just one blink.
“Figured you were over here,” he sweetly states at the same time he slips into her apartment.
“Oooo,” Birdie coos, sliding into a seat at her kitchen table. “Don’t you look handsome!”
His smile widens as he waves a hand across his black suit. “Clean up pretty nice, huh?”
She giggles and tosses a hand at his innocent flirting.
He’s a total gem. Any time we spend with Birdie he treats her like she’s an old pal he’s known forever. Like she’s valued, and every story she has to tell matters. He treats my grandparents the same way though they love to hear the tales he has to tell, too. They find him and his hippie ways fascinating. Not sure they realize the two of us have many of the same habits.
Chance swings his attention to me. He takes a moment to drink in the short cocktail dress that has a beaded butterfly design on the chest and bright blue and hot pink tulle on the bottom. Rae let me borrow a pair of nude heels since they are a color I don’t own and persuaded me to add loose waves to my hair for a flirty look.
Do I look okay? I had to rush to get ready.
My boyfriend wets his lips before sighing, “You look like something that fell from the heavens, babe.”
His words give my cheeks extra color.
“Charmer,” Birdie teases from her seat.
He casually shoves his hands into his pockets. “You ready? Our reservation’s in twenty minutes.”
“Reservation?” I croak. “I just thought we were going to dinner to celebrate.”
“We are, but I got us a table at Greek Geek Gourmet-”
“That fancy place downtown that has the city’s best fried ice cream and where you have to book your table weeks in advance?”
Chance cockily smirks. “That’d be the one.”
My face brightens before it quickly falls.
The confusion on his is almost immediate. “What? What’s wrong? You seemed really excited and then your energy drastically shifted.”
“I’m in the middle of making dinner for Birdie.”
He nods his understanding. “And she can’t finish on her own?”
“She burned her hand early today baking cookies,” I begin to explain. “She reached in the oven, thinking she had on oven mitts, but didn’t. Got her palm pretty good. She called me to come take them out for her, which is when I saw the wound and focused on that, so the cookies burned and filled the apartment with smoke.” Another heavy sigh from me fills the air. “Then I volunteered to make her dinner thinking we were just going to go somewhere random and that I would have time, so I started making zucchini lasagna, you know where you use the squash instead of the pasta-”
“Healthier carbs.”
“Exactly! Anyway, I was missing a few ingredients and had to run to the store to grab them, putting me even more behind schedule, which of course is when I found out I no longer have electricity in my apartment.”
“What?”
“They cut off my power today. Payment…issues,” I mumble more to myself than him. “Birdie was kind enough to let me use her bathroom, which is the only reason I’m even dressed in more than the unwashed yoga pants I had been wearing.”
It takes a moment for him to muster up a response. He diverts his eyes back to my elderly neighbor. “Birdie, would you like to go to dinner with us?”
Her lack of retort causes me to quietly inform, “She’s…she’s been a little off all day. Little extra spacey. Like she’ll look at me like she didn’t remember I was even here.”
There’s a small twitch of sadness to his eyebrows. He clears his throat and cautiously approaches her. “Birdie?”
Abruptly, she looks up away from the crossword she had been staring at. “Ooo! Don’t you look handsome!”
The repetition of her speech causes an ache deep in my chest.
Chance gives her a slow, polite nod. “Thanks, Birdie.” He settles into the chair across from her. “Think I
can stay for dinner?”
“Chance,” I call out. “We don’t-”
He holds up a hand to cut me off and keeps his eyes planted on her. “Would you mind the extra company?”
She stretches her injured hand across the table to pat his. “That’d be lovely.”
“I think so, too,” he sweetly says as he pats her hand in return. “Hey, Birdie, how’d you hurt your hand?”
Her eyebrows pinch together in question. She remains silent for much longer than I like causing me to rub my neck uncomfortably. Suddenly, she gasps and announces, “Oh! I scraped it on the birds’ cage this morning! Sock and Shoe must’ve gave me such a startle that I slipped.”
My lips press tightly together to keep from objecting.
When she has days like this I’m terrified to leave her by herself for too long.
Chance grins softly. “I’m gonna make a quick phone call and then set the table, okay?”
“You’re an angel.” She winks before returning to the word puzzle.
He crosses over to where I’m standing in the kitchen, plants a kiss on my cheek, and whispers in my ear, “I’m gonna cancel our reservation, babe. We’ll go another night. I promise.”
Weakly, I whisper back, “I’m sorry.”
Chance offers me a sweet smile. “Don’t be.”
Ugh! How can I not be?! I’m ruining our three-month anniversary all because I can’t let an elderly woman fend for herself for a couple of hours?! But….But what if something horrific were to happen that I could’ve been around to stop? My karma is clearly already shit. I don’t wanna add to it or tempt it into taking away the one amazing thing it finally graced me with.
After cancelling our reservations and providing me with extra reassurance he’s not mad or disappointed by the change, Chance sets the table while actively engaging Birdie in conversation. She rambles on about the movie, Goldfinger, and how my boyfriend even has a twinge of Sean Connery to him just like her husband. Once the lasagna is finished, I join the table, bringing it over, but remain silent, enjoying the interaction between them. Chance’s chuckles are more delicious than the food on the table. Each time he laughs or smiles wide at Birdie’s antics my stomach fills with flutters and my heart with joy. His hand occasionally wanders over to my hand to deliver a warm squeeze or soft rub. I do my best to eat something knowing I haven’t most of the day but can’t stop from worrying about Birdie’s nonexistent appetite.
“You sure you don’t want me to make anything else, Birdie?” I quickly question when she grabs her third breadstick. “All you’ve really eaten is bread.”
Ignoring her earlier declaration to me, she states, “Bread is good for the soul, my dear.”
Chance chuckles, “But not the greatest for the body.”
Birdie gives him a slight shrug. “When you get this old you’re given a ‘eat all the bread you want’ card.”
We share a small snicker together.
Again. Not the speech she was giving me seconds before he got here.
“Why are you not hungry?” Birdie challenges. “Not getting that job still have you upset?”
The admission grits my teeth.
Chance swiftly questions, “You didn’t get it?”
I hesitate to shake my head.
“Why not?”
Because The Law of Attraction works for everyone else in the world except me. I attempt to attract what would more or less be my dream job, to practically lose the one I have.
“They hired a girl who just graduated with a BA in dance and who also happens to be certified yoga instructor. They decided it would be beneficial to have someone who could fill in that class whenever necessary or perhaps even bring more to it.” I pick up my water glass, prepared to swallow the bitter taste of the next sentence. “Plus, they decided there’s no need for weekly hot yoga, so they’re cutting it down to bi-monthly.”
His entire face falls. “Meaning you’re out a hunk of your paycheck.”
The cold water hits my mouth but doesn’t wash away the sadness.
See. When it rains it fucking hailstorms on me.
“It’ll be fine,” I brush off, placing my water glass back down. “It always is.”
Chance struggles to smile.
“Worst comes to worst, I can beg my mom for a part time job at one of The Glass Slipper stores, probably the evening shift. I may just sell some clothes and shoes again. Probably have to cut back on a few things. ”
His scoff is surprising. “Like what, Syd? What could you possibly cut back on?! You already have so little!”
My face frowns at the tone as well as the words. “I have plenty in comparison to some.”
“I-”
“And life isn’t about the ivory tower you live in, Chance. It’s about the people you share it with.”
“Babe, I know, but-”
“In that department?” I continue to cut him off. “I believe I’m like Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates level of rich. My bank account can always be low because I’m wealthy in the ways that truly matter.”
“Bill Gates in an attractive man,” Birdie awkwardly inserts. “Not as handsome as my James was, but…he could play Bond’s father.”
Her unusual conclusion causes us both to chuckle.
I warmly announce, “And on that note, I think it’s time we get you to bed.”
She doesn’t argue.
“I’ll do the dishes,” Chance volunteers.
“You’re not going to stay at your apartment, are you?” Birdie questions at the same time I help her onto her feet. “You know you can always sleep on the sofa, not just when your heats out.”
I live in a state where it rarely gets cold, yet my first winter here, it was freezing and the heat in my apartment didn’t work. Still doesn’t work but at least the A/C does.
There’s a groan of disapproval out of my boyfriend.
“I’ve got candles,” I insist. “I’ll be fine.”
“She’s going to stay the night at my place,” Chance commands leaving no room for question.
A displeased glare appears in my eyes as our stares connect.
He doesn’t back down. “But if you need anything, Birdie, we are just one call away. We’ll come on over the minute you need us.”
Is it wrong to be a little turned on at how assertive he’s being?
“I’ll be fine,” she insists on a yawn. “You just take care of our girl.”
“Believe me, I’m trying,” he softly promises.
Rather than touch the topic of not needing to be taken care of or rescued or any other Disney written bullshit, I escort Birdie back to her bedroom.
The process of helping her change and tuck her birds in is quick. Thankfully, once she’s in bed, she drifts off to sleep almost immediately. Chance and I sneak out of the apartment, making sure to lock the door on our way out.
Made myself a just in case key a long time ago. You can relax.
I grant us entrance to my apartment, and Chance is on my heels with the flashlight app to grant us more light than just the ray coming through my glass patio doors.
“Do you really need anything?” He questions. “You have clothes at my place.”
Without replying, I make my way into the kitchen to grab the candles from underneath the sink. One by one I place them on the counter until I’m convinced I have enough to illuminate my small space.
Why do I have so many candles? That’s easy. I find them relaxing and do many spiritual exercises with them including one where I cleanse the space of negative energy.
At the lighting of the first candle, Chance lets out a heavy sigh. “What are you doing?”
“Giving my apartment light.”
“Syd-”
“I don’t need you to rescue me, Chance.” Grabbing a paper plate, I place it and the lit object on the higher part of the island bar. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I don’t need you to-”
“Stop,” he growls.
The tone and inflection ceases my actio
ns.
He tosses his phone on the counter and places his hands firmly on my hips. “I don’t like hearing you say you don’t need me, babe. Even if it’s fucking true.” His grip slightly tightens. “It hurts. Not because I need to be some sort of hero, but because my soul longs to care for yours and because my spirit is bound to yours. Maybe you don’t need me, yet. Maybe you never will. Maybe you believe we’ll just peacefully coincide, but me? The heavens, the stars, the ancients and the elders are all pushing me to believe otherwise. That you are part of my whole. And if you want a yin yang love like your parents had, you’re going to have to let someone play one of those roles, babe. Let it be me.” He gently drops his forehead to rest against mine. “I want it to be me.”
My eyes shut from the intensity of his speech.
“You give to the whole damn world, Syd. Let me give to you.”
We stand in my kitchen in silence too thick to breathe in. Various energies swarm around and through us, each doing their best to attach themselves to the situation. Each determined to stick despite the fact only one rightfully should.
It takes longer than I expect, but I finally state back, “You are part of my whole, too, Chance.”
He gently lifts my chin up so our eyes can lock. “You are my yin, Syd.”
“You are my yang.”
Our lips crush together. The second our tongues unite they sweetly reiterate the depths of our declarations.
That was our version of ‘I love you’, you could say.
I pull back and lightly plead, “Can we please stay the night here?”