Egg the Halls

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Egg the Halls Page 4

by Jessica Payseur

“I think it’s weird.”

  “Umber did alert Cat to someone having egged the art hall.”

  “Right.” Dom rubbed at his head. “Wish I didn’t have work tomorrow.”

  “Drop by when you get in,” said Kiko. He figured he could soak up more gossip during the day and then he and Dom could put their heads together in the evening, like old times. The thought of it filled Kiko’s chest with warmth. “We’ll figure it out.”

  * * * *

  When Dom entered Yolks on You, notebook in tow, and stomped his boots clean on the sopping rug just inside the store, the place was still busy. By Mother’s display, Katie was reading a book to a gaggle of fidgeting children. Their guardians wandered the store looking at merchandise or sat at the tables with some of Kiko’s adult eggnog, content to have a few minutes uninterrupted on their phones. Dom crossed to the register where Kiko was ringing up an older woman’s assortment of ornaments and coloring books and waited his turn.

  “Busy?” asked Dom when Kiko was free. He watched Kiko grab a water bottle from behind the counter and take a drink, smoothing his tie with a light brown hand as he went.

  “You’ll have to wait your turn like everyone else,” said Kiko.

  “What, no special treatment for the man who lets you—”

  “Children,” said Kiko, not even giving Dom a chance to say anything mildly filthy. “Here.”

  Dom stared at the glass of eggnog Kiko presented to him.

  “Now,” said Kiko, leaning and pointing to a corner of the store. “There’s a free table there. I’ll be with you just as soon as everyone clears out after the last Mother Goose reading.”

  Dom took his eggnog over to where Kiko had directed and sat, trying not to be annoyed. Work always got in the way of investigating crime. Cat’s comment about payment last night excited him. If only there was a way to become a full-time private investigator. That sounded like an impressive job, and he’d love to stick it to Devin like that. His family had always been disappointed he’d gotten a job as a claims adjuster at a large insurance company, and then hadn’t bothered to try to move up.

  He opened his notebook first and then did a search on his phone. He’d started writing down the names of all the artists at Cat’s over his lunch break but hadn’t finished, hoping he’d spy a motive somewhere. At the top of the list he’d added Benjamin Vankel of Angus Arts, Cat’s brother and the most suspicious person Dom had found yet. But he wanted to wait for whatever gossip Kiko had heard, remembering all those times he’d suspected the wrong person. This should be a fairly simple mystery, Dom figured. People who egged businesses were far less likely to be as careful as people who murdered.

  “Well, what have you got?” asked Kiko, taking a seat across from Dom. He hadn’t heard anyone leave and he nearly jumped at Kiko’s sudden presence.

  “A list of all Cat’s artists,” said Dom. “One of them looks like the person who did all that creepy art for the Apple Barn Party over Halloween. You know, the rotten fruit in suits.”

  “Sasha Jennings,” said Kiko, peering at what Dom had written in his notebook. “You think because she makes disturbing art that she would have egged her own work? Why?”

  “I’m still working on motive,” said Dom, annoyed. “Come on, what’s the gossip?”

  “Cat and Ben got into an argument when she asked him to carry some of her art. He’s the calling birds in the Twelve Days of Mount Angus.”

  “And the top of my list,” said Dom, feeling smug. Now they were getting somewhere.

  “It was a bad argument, from what I understand,” said Kiko, trying to look at what Dom was searching on his phone. “They threatened each other. Gordon got called down to take a statement.”

  Dom laughed.

  “Perfect. It was Ben, then. Had to be. Rival family members competing for business. I bet he egged her art to stop her from selling it around Mount Angus, too. Can you imagine how pissed he was that he’d have to compete with her in every other store here?”

  “It’s simple and it makes sense,” said Kiko, “but wouldn’t he assume he’d be the first person the police suspected? What are you doing?”

  “You heard Cat,” said Dom, scrolling. “The police aren’t going to do anything. So it’s up to us to get the evidence. It’s up to me.”

  He turned his phone to face Kiko and slid it across the table. Kiko peered at the screen, blinked, looked up at him.

  “You want to take an art class?”

  “It’s undercover work. Just for the proof that Ben did it.”

  “Going to that sketching class at Angus Arts on Friday?” asked Katie, swinging by with the broom.

  “Yeah, as soon as I pay for it,” said Dom, pulling the phone back and tapping on the button.

  “Then you’ll be in for a treat! I heard he uses nude models and just says they’re clothed.” Katie looked absolutely thrilled to pass on that bit of information.

  “Dom…” began Kiko.

  “It’s fine,” said Dom. “What do I care if all the other men are distracted? Ben’ll be easier to question. We’ll get this all cleared up before the Twelve Days of Mount Angus are over.”

  “All right,” said Kiko. He sounded hesitant. “But I’ll keep asking around.”

  “I might even learn how to draw,” said Dom. “Maybe it’ll even be good enough to put up on the fridge.”

  * * * *

  Wednesday morning Kiko scooped up Mother the moment Katie entered and she shot him a strange look. His coat was already on and the goose was glaring at him as though he knew what was happening, where he was going. Kiko muttered something to Mother and then turned back to Katie.

  “Vet appointment. You okay for a little while?”

  “Of course,” said Katie, pulling her scarf off. “That’s today?”

  Mother struggled in Kiko’s arms.

  “It’s like he knows,” said Kiko. “Yeah, I should have mentioned it last night, but I forgot with all the mystery-solving.” Kiko hated admitting it. At least it seemed to amuse Katie.

  “All right then,” said Katie, grinning. “See you in a bit.”

  It was snowing again as Kiko drove to Mount Angus Valley Veterinary Clinic at the edge of town. Mother seemed agitated in the seat next to him; the sound of the goose jumping to the floor made Kiko look over briefly. This was just Mother’s yearly exam, but Kiko worried. He’d had the goose since he first opened Yolks on You and couldn’t imagine anything wrong with him. But even though Mother should have a good decade left on him, Kiko couldn’t help but wonder what had been causing him to act up. The incident with the bread was out of the ordinary for Mother. Maybe he was still getting used to Dom.

  “I see Mother’s here,” said the receptionist, smiling at the goose. Kiko was brought directly back to the exam room and plopped the goose onto the table before sitting to wait.

  He hoped Dom wouldn’t do anything stupid at the sketching class Friday night. He imagined Ben would get pissed at him if he knew Dom was there to get some information on him. Although strangely Kiko agreed; at the moment Ben looked like the best suspect for the crime. At least, he seemed to have the most motive. Kiko just had difficulty getting over the fact that he’d have to be pretty damn confident to do it, since he was the most obvious culprit. But then, perhaps he had faith in the inability of the law to do much when it came to this sort of thing.

  “I said, good morning, Kiko.”

  He blinked, stood to shake Dr. Fischer’s hand. Kiko smiled, tried not to look as distracted as he was. It was the time of year for it, at any rate. He’d have a lot of packages to ship, and he still hadn’t figured out what he was getting anyone for Christmas, including Dom or his brother.

  “Hello, Tess,” he said, then took hold of Mother as she moved to grab up clipboard and pen and palpate the goose. The bird wriggled but she managed to make the examination without much trouble.

  “Anything unusual with Mother?” she asked as she listened to the goose’s heart. “Eating, activity, behavi
or all normal?”

  “Well, he got his beak in a loaf of bread the other night, but other than that…”

  Tess smiled and wrote something down on her clipboard.

  “Misbehaving a bit, are we?” she asked Mother, who only stared at her with his liquid eyes. “Acting up much?”

  “Just the one time,” said Kiko.

  “Yes, well, that happens, doesn’t it?” said Tess, almost to herself. She set aside her stethoscope and clipboard and clasped hands around Mother’s body. “Let’s get your weight now.”

  Kiko watched as she gently set Mother down on the scale and left her hands near him until he settled. He thought he was seeing things at first until Tess confirmed it.

  “Nearly three pounds heavier than last year, my my.” She paused to scribble it on her clipboard, then looked up at Kiko. “How much do you feed him?”

  “Same as last year,” said Kiko, astonished. It didn’t make sense for Mother to have gained so much weight. Kiko was very precise about measuring and feeding the goose, and in all the years he’d had him, this had never happened. “This doesn’t mean he’s sick, does it?”

  “Well,” said Tess, setting aside her clipboard. “Has it been only the one time he’s gotten into the bread? Maybe you’ve been giving him more snacks than normal?”

  Kiko shook his head, then paused, thinking. Dom had been taking over more of a share of chores in the past five or six months, and feeding Mother was sometimes one of those tasks. Kiko knew he wasn’t overfeeding the goose, so if Mother wasn’t sick…

  “It’s more likely to be overfeeding in a goose Mother’s age than anything terribly wrong,” said Tess, and Kiko sighed.

  “My boyfriend feeds him sometimes. I figured he was giving Mother the right amount, but maybe he forgets he’s fed him.” Kiko ignored Tess’s eyebrow shooting up. “I guess he’s just gotten a little plump.”

  “Well, a bit of a diet wouldn’t go amiss. We’d like to see Mother closer to his regular weight. Watch what you feed him, try to get him a little more exercise and play.”

  Kiko thanked her and paid the bill before hauling Mother back out to his truck. Overfeeding. Of course. It made sense that Mother had gone after the bread, then—he was expecting more food than Kiko had fed him that day. And Kiko wondered just how often Dom sneaked a crust of bread to the goose. He frowned, pulled out his phone.

  We need to talk, he texted Dom, then drove back to Yolks on You, trying not to scowl at the snow.

  * * * *

  Chapter 5

  It wasn’t very mature of him, but Dom spent as much of Wednesday as he could ignoring Kiko after that initial text. He didn’t respond, and he didn’t know what he’d done, but part of him was hoping if he just ignored it, it would go away. Kiko would forget. Or at least not be as angry as he was at first.

  As if it could help, after work Dom went ahead and took the garbage out, vacuumed every carpet in the house, and swept all the hardwood. By the time he was sick with cleaning it was actually fairly late and his phone was ringing that terrible ring; he grimaced and ignored it, snagging a beer when the phone beeped with a message.

  “Dom, it’s Devin,” said the message when he played it back, as though Devin thought he was too stupid to recognize his own brother. “Been a couple days. I wanted to see if you were actually serious about inviting me up for Christmas. You have directions? Give me a call.”

  Dom drank his beer, alone in the kitchen at night, trying to keep his mood in check. Outside, it was cold and cloudy, but no snow. Inside, the heat kicked on and poured warm air over his socks. He leaned back against a wall.

  He really did not want his brother visiting. Kiko had to be able to come up with a good excuse why Devin couldn’t, if he’d just stop a moment and confront the problem with Dom. But of course, he wasn’t very likely to do that now after Dom had pissed him off somehow. Was it the sketching class on Friday? Dom had kept up on his chores. He hated having to guess what he’d done. He took another drink, fighting back annoyance again. Kiko normally didn’t make him guess what he’d done. Dom hoped he wasn’t angrier than usual.

  When Kiko returned Dom stood in the kitchen and watched him unlock the door. Kiko paused in the doorway, locking eyes with Dom for a moment, then set down Mother. The tension was too much for Dom, but he held back as Kiko locked the door, loosened his tie, and began to get out ingredients to cook.

  “Want a beer?” asked Dom at last, watching Kiko wash potatoes and cut celery.

  “All right.”

  Kiko didn’t specify what kind, so Dom gave him the first thing he grabbed. He even popped the cap for him.

  “Thanks,” said Kiko, adding olive oil to a large pot. “Figured I’d make soup. Should give you leftovers for the rest of the week.”

  It occurred to Dom that while that would make enough leftovers for him for the rest of the week, it wouldn’t for both him and Kiko. But then, probably Kiko ate the old sandwiches that didn’t sell at his store. He didn’t try to initiate the conversation as Kiko cooked, and they ate in silence, too, until their bowls were empty and they were sitting in the awkward quiet.

  “Going to tell me what I did?” asked Dom, unable to resist. Kiko glared at him.

  “Mother went to the vet today,” he said.

  “And?”

  “And somebody’s been overfeeding him.” Kiko’s voice had that restrained cold quality to it that he got whenever he was really angry. Dom could barely believe it.

  “You’re pissed at me ‘cause I give the goose seconds now and again?”

  “Dom, Mother gained nearly three pounds.”

  “Aren’t geese supposed to be plump?” asked Dom before he could stop himself. Kiko did not look happy. Dom shrugged. “I mean, I think he likes me a little more than he used to.”

  Kiko placed his palms flat on the table and pressed down.

  “You’ve been giving him extra food so he’ll like you.” It was a statement, not a question. Dom shrugged again. He’d thought this was a good plan. He’d seen the kind of destruction Mother was capable of, and it only made sense to want to be on the goose’s good side.

  “Well, if you want me to stop feeding him,” he began, but Kiko interrupted him.

  “No, I want you to do it right. It’s not difficult. I keep a measuring cup in with his food. No more bread snacks.”

  “I don’t see why you’re so pissed,” said Dom, getting angrier the longer Kiko talked. “There’s real problems to deal with.”

  “Real problems? We have to put Mother on a diet now. Get him some exercise. Stop overfeeding him.”

  “And we have to figure out how to get Devin to back off,” said Dom, watching Kiko’s expression change slightly, smooth a bit. “Which you’ve been no help with.”

  “I thought we’d deal with him visiting,” said Kiko, first touch of annoyance in his voice now. Dom scowled. He hated arguing, and he was about at his limit now.

  “You don’t want Devin here,” he said, despising Kiko’s optimism now. “He’s a shit, Kiko. He doesn’t just hate anyone gay, although he’s good at that, too. He’ll hate you for—”

  “My skin, thanks, got it, Dom,” said Kiko, standing and grabbing the bowls. He loaded the dishwasher loudly. “Here I thought this would be a good opportunity for you to show him he’s wrong about you.”

  Dom winced. He wished that could be the case. But there was no changing his family. He’d learned that ages ago.

  “I’m tired,” said Kiko, drying his hands on a towel. Staring at him now, Dom thought he looked it, too. “Let’s go to bed and fight tomorrow.”

  “Not like you to procrastinate,” said Dom, but Kiko smiled at that.

  “For you, I’d do even that.”

  * * * *

  Things seemed a little better in the morning, and although Kiko woke still annoyed with Dom, it didn’t feel like an insurmountable task to get Mother back to his normal weight anymore. He had a harness for the goose; maybe he’d walk him around the store now
and again. The kids would love it.

  Dom grunted when he shoved him.

  “Come on, up,” said Kiko, rolling out of bed. “It’s not Friday yet.”

  “No,” grumbled Dom into his pillow. “We’ll just fight.”

  Kiko sighed and stripped the pillowcase from his pillow. He couldn’t help but smile a little at Dom’s naked form under the pile of blankets, only the back of his head visible.

  “We’re not going to fight,” said Kiko, unhooking the sheets from his side of the bed. “I forgive you. I’ll walk Mother more and we’ll watch what we feed him.” He paused. “Now come on, I want to get the laundry in before work so you can fold it when you get home. My sister’s coming this weekend and we might as well get started on cleaning up.”

  Dom groaned loudly.

  “Already?”

  “Yes, she’s freelance, she’s just taking her work with her.”

  “Nobody here but us blankets,” said Dom, so Kiko yanked the blankets off. Dom scrambled to pull the sheet up over his naked body. Kiko struggled to not get turned on by it. It had been several days and he missed being intimate with Dom, not to mention he had no idea how often they’d be able to have sex with guests around all the time.

  “Those might be the sexiest sheets I’ve ever seen,” said Kiko, unable to stop himself. He reached out and grabbed Dom’s ass.

  “Hey,” said Dom, raising his head from the pillow. Kiko snatched it and stripped the pillowcase off, watching as Dom clutched tighter to the sheets. Kiko could see Dom was hard under the thin fabric, and it did nothing to force back his desire.

  “Definitely the sexiest sheets I’ve ever seen,” he said, and put a palm to Dom’s erection.

  “I thought you wanted to clean them,” said Dom. Kiko grabbed him as he tried to roll away.

  “They ought to be thoroughly soiled first, don’t you think?”

  “Normally I’d object,” said Dom, but Kiko pinned him easily, all wound up in the sheets like he was. He grabbed Dom’s hair and pulled up his head, leaned in close as though to kiss him but then didn’t.

  “No, you wouldn’t,” said Kiko. “The more often we can soil the sheets, the better, isn’t that right?”

 

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