She wiped away a drop of sweat sliding down her temple. Yes, she was burning up, all right, and now Jesse was the only thing that could cool her.
“I’d better go,” he said, as if reading the hungry gaze she fixed on him. “You’re inside. Safe and sound.”
“But I’m not,” she replied. “I’m not sound at all. I’m this close to going out of my mind. I can’t stop thinking about us.”
“Don’t.”
“And about you tearing up my papers,” she went on as if he hadn’t said a word. “I was so mad, and so relieved. I’m not sure why you did it. There’s more to you, Jesse. I know it, but if you don’t want to talk to me, fine. It can wait until later.”
“There won’t be a later,” he said, shoving his hands through his hair. “I’ve told you before. There’s no future for us. There can’t be.”
“Why?” she insisted. “Give me one reason.”
The question seemed to tear at him. His expression shifted from stubborn resolve to heartbreaking sadness. “We’re too different.” His voice was low and rough, as if saying the words hurt. “Your soul is pure and untouched and mine …” He shook his head. “There’s so much about me you don’t know. Bad things, Faith. Things you would never approve of, or accept, or overlook.”
“People make mistakes. I know that. If this is about that guy, if you were into some seedy things in the past—”
“It’s not that simple,” he cut in. “Not for me.” He rubbed at his weary eyes. “Things are too confusing right now.”
“Stay anyway,” she said, her body aching as fiercely as her heart. “I know you want to, and I need you to. I need to touch you, Jesse. To feel your arms around me, to feel you inside me. I need it more than I’ve ever needed anything.” And before she could change her mind, she reached down, grasped the edge of her shirt, and lifted it over her head.
He wouldn’t give his heart to her, so Faith would settle for his body. She could scale the wall separating them, close the distance yawning between them, if only for a few blissful moments. She could touch him, if not emotionally, then physically.
But you’ve touched more than my body, sweet Faith. Much more.
Jesse’s familiar voice rumbled through her mind, and Faith’s hands froze on the latch to her bra. Her fingers trembled, ice against the fiery skin of her chest. She’d heard the words distinctly. His words, yet his lips hadn’t moved.
I’m not talking with my mouth. I’m speaking from the heart. Your heart.
“I … How did you do that?”
“You wanted me to talk to you,” he said out loud, his lips hinting at a grin. “So I did.” There was no humor in his gaze, however. Only hunger. A deep-seated, desperate hunger. The confusion, the pain of a moment ago had disappeared, fading into the dark ebony pools that seemed to reflect her every thought.
“Talk usually implies moving your mouth.” The words stumbled past her trembling lips. Fear streaked through her, but then his voice whispered through her thoughts and the feeling subsided. It was so strange, and yet it seemed so natural for him to speak like this.
Not when it comes to us. We’re linked, Faith. You and I. Connected. Can’t you feel it? Just put aside your skepticism and feel.
She did. She closed her eyes, breaking the mesmerizing pull of his gaze and concentrating on the thrumming of her own blood within her body. It was her body, yet … She didn’t feel alone. She felt an energy inside her, pulsing through her veins, filling up all the empty spaces.
It’s me you feel.
Her eyes snapped open and found his. Turmoil raged in the dark depths and she knew he fought himself. He wanted to leave; at the same time he wanted to stay. With her. Inside her.
You feel me, Faith, and I feel you just as strongly. You were so worried about touching me emotionally, but you don’t realize that you already have. You might not know all my secrets, but you know me. You can feel my heart beat, my blood pump. You can feel me, inside yourself.
Her heart beat faster and her palm pressed to her chest. Denial streaked through her as she felt the frantic double thump. Not one heartbeat, but two. Side by side. Hers and his …
She shook her head, her passion on hold in the face of the shock swamping her. “This is impossible.”
Nothing is impossible.
The heartbeats increased in tempo, demanding to be recognized. Believed.
She shook her head. “I—I don’t understand this. How? Why?”
Put aside your questions, Faith, and just let yourself believe. For tonight. And finish what you started. His gaze riveted on her breasts, still concealed beneath the lace of her bra.
“A few minutes ago you said this was a bad idea. That we shouldn’t. That you didn’t want to.”
“I never said that last part,” he said out loud. “I do want it. I want you, but I can’t make any promises. For us there’s just one night. This night. No talk. Just the two of us, touching, loving.”
His eyes sparkled in the darkness, like a velvet sky filled with stars, and Faith found herself mesmerized for a long second. Gone were the turmoil and indecision at staying with her. He’d made up his mind.
For now. Tonight.
Faith’s own niggling doubts faded away. So many things stood unanswered between them, but at that moment none of them mattered.
She needed him and he needed her. Everything else—his secrets, his past, this strange connection between them—all faded in the desire swamping her—their—senses.
The bra unsnapped and Faith let the silk straps slide down her arms.
His gaze reached across the distance to her, stroking her skin, following the curve of her breasts, tracing her aching nipples.
More … She wasn’t sure if it was his command or her own, or maybe both. She only knew she needed to comply. Her fingers went to the snap on her jeans. Then the zipper hissed and Faith slid the denim down her legs. Cool air swept over her bare skin, turning it to gooseflesh. Then his gaze chased away the sudden chill as quickly as it had come, heating her body, her blood, until she felt a bead of sweat glide down her temple. It was so hot. Blistering …
More.
With the word came another wave of heat, until even the skimpy silk of her panties felt stifling against her skin. She hooked her fingers through the lace and slid the material down.
Righting herself, she stood before him, her skin bathed in moonlight, her nipples hard and throbbing, so desperate for him that it was all she could do to keep from sinking to her knees from the incredible need.
“So beautiful,” he said. “You’re so beautiful.” He stared at her, his eyes burning over her, through her. Tension held his body tight; his muscles bunched beneath his T-shirt. Taut lines carved his face, making his features seem harsh, fierce, predatory.
The specks of gold in his eyes flared, gleamed, scorching her when fear might have cooled the desire searing her senses. He stepped closer, blocking out the play of light through her living room window.
Pale silver light shimmered around him, making him seem dark and sinister by comparison. A man of deep secrets and forbidden dreams. Yet the light didn’t just outline him; it enveloped him.
He pulled the T-shirt over his head and dropped it at his feet. Where Faith had felt his strength before, now she saw it with her own eyes. Muscles carved his torso, from his bulging biceps and shoulders to the rippled plane of his abdomen. Dark, silky hair sprinkled his chest, narrowing to a tiny whorl of silk that disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans.
Her gaze swept down to the prominent bulge beneath his zipper, and a memory rushed at her—his arousal pressing into her buttocks, so strong and insistent. She swallowed.
He reached out and crooked a finger under her chin, forcing her attention to his face. “There’s nothing to be scared of. We’ve done this before.”
“We weren’t face-to-face then.”
“We were that day at the hospital.”
“That was different. You …” Her words tripped a
nd she blushed.
“Don’t be embarrassed, Faith. Not with me, not ever.”
“I’ve never really seen you before.”
“But you’ve felt me.” His fingertip trailed down the column of her throat to linger at the base, where her pulse pounded a furious drumbeat against the pad of his thumb. He caressed the spot and the tempo increased. Faster, faster …
She swallowed, gathering the remnants of control, and caught his hand. “I felt you, all right. But not all of you. You were hiding from me. Last night and today.”
“I was hilt-deep inside you.”
His gravelly voice conjured a vivid image and her insides tightened. Want speared through her and she forced a calming breath. “You were still hiding. You were surrounding me, inside of me, but you were holding back.” She touched the shadowed plane of his jaw, felt the sting of stubble and ached to rub her face against it, her body.
She stiffened, fighting the urge. “No more,” she went on. “I want all of you tonight. Everything you have to give. No hiding. Please.” The last word came out as a desperate plea, and Faith cursed herself for sounding so needy.
But God help her, she was. She needed him. All of him.
A moment of silence passed between them and she could feel his indecision, his turmoil as it raged to the surface for a frightening moment in which she feared he would refuse her.
And if he did? Would she meet him on his terms?
Before she could contemplate the answer, a single word sighed through her head…. Tonight. Then he reached out.
He touched her nipples, just the soft rasp of his palms, and pleasure bolted through her. His strokes were featherlight, reverent as he brought the sensitive peaks to a throbbing, tingling, swollen awareness. Then he slid his hands under her breasts, grazed her rib cage as he moved to cup her buttocks.
He lifted her, sweeping her legs up on either side of him and around, to lock her ankles at the small of his back. Then he settled her firmly against the rock-hard length barely contained within his jeans.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself to the delicious friction as he rocked her. The coarse material of his jeans rasped against her sensitive flesh, and pleasure prickled through her, igniting every nerve ending until her body fairly glowed from the feel of his.
A day’s growth of beard rubbed against the tender flesh of her neck, the slope of her breasts, chafing her in a motion that was so exquisite—a white-hot pleasure simmering with tender pain—that it brought tears to her eyes. He was so gentle, and at the same time fierce, as if she were a treasure to be protected, cherished.
He arched her backward, drew one swollen nipple into his mouth, and suckled as gently as a babe. Sensation spread through her, like thick honey pooling over a warm surface. It was just a hint of things to come, a subtle stirring of feeling that marked the beginning of a leisurely seduction, and Faith realized that he’d meant what he’d said.
Tonight. All night. He intended to take his time. To drive her to the brink, only to pull her back. Again and again and—
“Again,” he added, moving his mouth away from her pouting nipple to stare into her eyes. “We’ve had it fast and furious, and now I want it slow.”
“And sweet?” She raised an eyebrow at him, feeling wicked and wild and incredibly sexy. He made her feel that way. He shattered her inhibitions until there was nothing but the two of them. No world waiting to pass judgment. No expectations to meet. Just them. Jesse and Faith. Man and woman.
“Not exactly.” He trailed his tongue over his bottom lip, and her nipple, still damp from the moist heat of his mouth, seemed to tingle. “More like slow and thorough. But since you brought it up …” His eyes gleamed brighter, a lazy grin tilting his sensuous lips. “I bet you taste every bit as sweet as you look.”
Before she could respond, he captured her lips in a kiss that sent her thoughts spinning. His tongue tangled with hers, delving and tasting until she could barely breathe. And when she did, it was his breath that filled her lungs, just as his desire flowed into her, pumped through her, mingling with her own in a storm of need that raged fiercer than the nastiest typhoon.
She didn’t feel the motion as he carried her. He could have floated into the bedroom, for all she knew. She was suddenly aware only of the soft mattress at her back, and of his body—dark and hot—towering over her.
He straddled her, his knees planted firmly on either side of hers. The faded material of his jeans hugged his hard thighs, showing every ripple of muscle. His bare torso gleamed with a fine sheen of perspiration that caught flickers of light from passing cars, like the twinkle of stars reflecting off a dark, mysterious lake. Faith couldn’t help herself. She reached up, trailed her hands along his slick muscled flesh, felt the bulge and ripple of his shoulders. She splayed her fingers in the hair covering his chest, her touch tentative, exploratory, as she followed the path of silk that narrowed as it descended his abdomen. She stopped just shy of the waistband to his jeans, suddenly wary.
His eyes burned like midnight fire, his muscles tight with raw energy. He balled his hands into fists at his sides, and she knew it took everything he had not to cover her hand with his and urge her on.
Touch me. His deep voice echoed through her mind, yet she couldn’t seem to make herself follow the command.
She’d felt his body’s strength, but this was different. This was … looking, and for all her determination and bravado, heat crept up her neck. Her fingers trembled.
He leaned down, his tongue flicking a ripe nipple, and she gasped. His mouth was hot and wet, his tongue tormenting the stiff peak until she arched against him.
“Unzip me,” he finally said, his voice ragged, and there was no hesitation in her movements this time.
The zipper hissed and he sprang hot and eager into her hands. He pulled away from her then and stared down as she held him. Her attention riveted on his hot, pulsing flesh. She’d known he was huge. She’d felt him, glimpsed him, but the reality was more than she’d bargained for. Bigger. More beautiful.
He was smooth as satin and as hard as an iron spike, she realized as she trailed her fingers over him, touching the ripe head of his desire. He jumped in her hands and she smiled, feeling a surge of feminine power she’d never experienced before.
But then she’d never touched a man like this. Never held him in her hands and stroked him the way she now stroked Jesse.
In a way, just this—this holding and stroking and exploring—seemed more intimate than anything she’d experienced in her past. Her encounters with her college boyfriend had been hollow. There had been a couple of tender kisses, some groping in the dark to remove boxers and panties, a few moments of heavy panting; then it had been over.
But this … This was surely the way it was meant to be between a man and a woman.
“Between us,” he said. He stilled her movements then and placed her arms above her head. “Now it’s my turn.”
He kissed her then, slowly and deeply before his mouth moved to her jaw, sweeping a trail of fire down her neck to her tender breasts. He cupped and licked and suckled until Faith thrashed her head on the pillow and her hips rotated, searching for him. She came so close to falling apart. He suckled her hard, exerting just the right amount of pressure to have her moaning his name, clutching at the bed-sheets. She reached for him time after time, but he forced her hands back above her head, the motion lifting her breasts in silent invitation. And he suckled her harder, greedier. Only when she nearly burst into a thousand pieces did he pull away. The distance cooled her feverish skin for a rational moment, until she became acutely aware of his hands.
They slid down her belly, fingers ruffling her pubic hair with gentle tugs that sent tingles of electricity dancing up her spine. Then his attention moved lower, to the insides of her thighs. Fingers rasped lazy circles against her tender flesh, moving so close to her heat, her heart. So dangerously close.
“More,” she begged shamelessly. She was past the poin
t of modesty. She needed him inside her. Now.
“Soon,” Jesse promised, aching to fill her as much as she ached to be filled. But he wanted to watch her. Like her, he’d been deprived of that pleasure their first night together, and the time at the hospital had been sweet, yet unfulfilling. Tonight he intended to satisfy them both. Completely. No holding back, he’d promised her, and he meant to keep his word.
He cupped her heat and she arched into his palm. Every muscle in his body went rigid as he fought for control. His gaze riveted on her face and he touched her slickness, rubbing her sensitive nub with his index finger.
The friction of his callused fingertip against the delicate tissue wrung a gasp from her. He repeated the motion, exerting just the tiniest bit more pressure.
She came up off the bed, her body bowing toward him. A pink flush spread over her breasts, up her neck, to gather in her cheekbones. Her kiss-swollen lips parted on a breathless moan that filled his ears and sent an ache straight to his already straining flesh.
He wanted her like this every night. Wanted to wake her up with his kisses in the morning, share breakfast, lunch, and dinner with her, wrap his arms around her and watch the sun set from her back porch. He wanted … her. Every moment of every day, from here until—
No! He clamped his eyes shut. He had only this moment. This night. Now.
He opened his eyes to find her staring up at him, her gaze bright with desire despite her fierce culmination only moments before. He stood, stripped away his jeans and underwear, then joined her on the bed.
She opened her legs, welcoming him, and he slid between them. He wanted to warm her up, to stir her senses again before he entered her, but she would have none of it. She grasped his buttocks and pulled him to her.
He slid inside in one deft motion that sucked the air from his lungs and sent the blood roaring through his veins. Before he could catch his breath, she started to move, rotating her hips, her inner muscles contracting, sucking at him, the internal caress nearly making him spill himself right then and there.
She was so hot, so welcoming, and she was killing him. But this death was sweet and Jesse followed her willingly into the unknown.
Faithless Angel Page 25