With that vow firmly in mind, Jesse Savage dropped to his knees one final time.
“Jesse!” Faith stood at the top of the stairs leading to the garage apartment and pounded on the door. “I know you’re in there! Open up!” She pounded harder. “Dammit, I said open up—”
The door swung wide. Clad only in a fluffy white towel draped around his waist, Jesse filled the doorway. Water trickled down his bare torso through the dark hair covering his chest.
In the bright light of day he seemed even darker, more mysterious….
Dead.
She swallowed. “I know about that night.” Her voice was shaky. “About what happened to you. You’re … You’re supposed to be …” She couldn’t make herself say the word. But she didn’t have to.
He knew.
His gaze caught hers, and his dark eyes were shuttered. The specks of gold that always flared whenever he looked at her had dimmed.
He wore no expression, his face a collection of sharp angles and planes. A day’s growth of beard covered his jaw, crept down his neck. His wet hair had been slicked back, curling down his neck, just above his shoulders. He adjusted his grip on the door handle, the movement rippling the muscles in his arm and shoulder.
He’s just a man, she told herself. A powerful, attractive, sinfully sexy man. But just a man.
Suddenly an entire day of searching at the library, staring at microfiche records, seemed like a hazy dream, and a smile tugged at her lips. “This is crazy. I can’t believe I’m standing here about to say what I’m going to say. I mean, it’s so impossible.”
“Anything is possible if you believe.”
She gave him a pointed stare. “And if you don’t?”
“I’m here, Faith. Real, whether you believe it or not.”
She tried to swallow past the sudden lump in her throat. “But you can’t be. You’re …” She swallowed again. “You were murdered.”
He didn’t deny the fact. He merely held her gaze, his dark eyes probing into hers. “I’m not dead.”
She gave a quivering smile. “Of course not. I mean, I know that. You’re standing right in front of me.” She touched him then, as if to reassure herself that he was real. Warm muscle met her palm. So warm and … alive.
Hysterical laughter bubbled on her lips. To think she’d actually come here to confront him and accuse him of dying. Of being dead. Dead, for heaven’s sake!
But the evidence stayed rooted in her mind, and even while she tried to dismiss the thoughts as bogus, she couldn’t. Not until Jesse reassured her with his own mouth. Then she would trust him. She would believe. When she heard the truth straight from him.
“I’ve been doing some research.”
He nodded.
“I was looking at old newspapers. After last night …” She licked her suddenly dry lips. Her gaze caught his. “Jesse, I went to City Hall, and to the library, to try to find some record of you.”
“I was born in Restoration.”
“I know that. City Hall didn’t have a birth certificate, but they had …” She swallowed and tried again. “They had a death certificate.” Her gaze collided with his and the words poured from her lips. “You died from several stab wounds exactly one year ago today.”
“It wasn’t my time to go.”
She shook her head, trying to clear it. She’d expected him to say the account was wrong, the death certificate forged. That he was part of the Witness Protection Program and had assumed the real Jesse Savage’s identity. Or that maybe he really was Jesse Savage, now a criminal running from the law, who’d needed to fake his death to evade justice. Or …
“What are you telling me? You didn’t die that night? The newspapers were wrong? The death certificate is a fake?”
“I didn’t say that.”
She threw up her hands. “You’re not saying anything. Yes or no. Did you die?” She couldn’t believe the words were coming out of her mouth. Obviously he hadn’t died. He was alive and well and standing right in front of her.
“Yes.”
The word thundered through her head, shaking her sanity and sending her reality into a tailspin. This wasn’t happening.
“You mean yes, the newspapers and death certificate were wrong?”
“No, I mean I did die that night.”
He grabbed her hands, but she pulled away, afraid that if she touched him, she might want to believe his ridiculous explanation. She pushed past him into the apartment and crossed the room to gaze out the window. “This is crazy. It can’t be for real.”
“It is,” he said, shutting the door and coming up behind her. But he didn’t touch her. He simply stood there, so close, so warm, so … alive.
“You remember that guy we met up with last night outside the bar?”
She nodded, her attention fixed on the window. She stared at the roof of the shelter, while her mind flashed back to the rage she’d seen in Jesse’s eyes, the anger holding his body tight.
“He was the one.”
She whirled. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
She backed away from him, her mouth open, soundless for several seconds. “He—he was the one? The … the one who killed you?” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t understand this. If he killed you then how can you still be here? What are you? My imagination? Some sort of ghost? A devil? An—”
“—angel,” he finished for her. “Sort of.”
She blinked. “Sort of?”
He stared at her. “Do you believe in Fate?”
She shrugged, clasping her trembling hands in front of her. “I guess so. I never really thought about it.”
“Not it. Her. I did die that night, but it wasn’t my time to go. It was an accident of Fate. She made a mistake, took me too soon; so here I am now, flesh and blood, with another chance to live out my life. I didn’t want that chance at first, but now I do.”
“Let me get this straight. There’s a preordained time to die, and you died too soon?” He nodded. “You were shortchanged?” He nodded again. “So God—”
“It’s a bright light,” he cut in. “I don’t know exactly what it is….”
“Okay, so this light gave you a second chance to live here until your time does come?”
He nodded.
She shook her head. “You really expect me to believe all this?”
“You already do.” He stared deep into her eyes, into her soul, and saw the truth.
You already do. The words whispered through her head. His words. Their words. They were linked, connected by some invisible force. The same force that had brought him back here. To her.
“To save you,” he said, reading the frantic thoughts racing through her head. “You’re a good person, Faith, and that’s rare in this day and age. They couldn’t stand to lose you.”
“They?”
“The voices in the light. They didn’t want to lose you. Fate had to correct her mistake, so I was sent to you. You were lost, Faith, and I was to help you find your way.”
She inched to the side and backward, and came up against the wall. Leaning back, she splayed her fingers against the cool wood, needing to feel something real. Jesse wasn’t real, and this couldn’t be happening.
“Faith, trust me.” His fingertips forced her chin up and her gaze met his. “I am real. I’m flesh and blood.” He touched her hand to his chest. “You felt me with your hands, your body. I’m a man now.”
“And the past year?”
“I told you the truth before. I was wandering … in the nothingness. And then I knew what I was to do, and what my reward would be. I never understood why I was chosen. There were many who would have jumped at the chance to come back. But now I realize it was because of Rachel—Jane. My sister.” His eyes brightened and he swallowed. “Thank you, Faith,” he said in a quiet voice that wrenched at her heart. “Thank you for being there for her, for helping her find her way out of the nightmares, and for all you did.”
“I know it sounds wild and crazy,” he went on. “Hell, a year ago I wouldn’t have believed it myself. The afterlife, angels and devils and all that hoopla, was just a lot of bunk, a nice explanation to give people hope in a hopeless world. But it isn’t a crock. It’s real. I’ve seen it.” He stared past her, and for the first time since she’d come into the room, she saw the specks in his eyes twinkle and flare. “You die, but that’s not the end of it. Afterward, there’s this light,” he said, wonder in his voice. “And it’s so bright, so warm…. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
“I have,” she said. She touched his jaw and drew his gaze to her own. “Every time I look at you.”
The last niggling doubt slipped away as she stared at him, into him. Some things weren’t meant to be explained logically or rationally. Some things simply were.
Jesse had come to her, had saved her, loved her, and she refused to question the how and why. It was enough that he was here now, in front of her, with her.
She smiled, and for the first time in a long time Faith Jansen started to believe in a happily ever after.
Then she heard the shout coming from downstairs, the pounding of footsteps, and her happiness shattered.
“Faith! Jesse!” Bradley called out, his fists pounding the door. “They found Daniel! He’s on top of the old Marbury Building, and he’s getting ready to jump!”
Chapter Eighteen
Ten minutes later, Faith and Jesse swerved to a stop in front of the Marbury Building, a six-story structure that had once housed Marbury Savings and Loan. The savings and loan had gone under, the building closed up to await sale. That had been nearly six years ago and the property still stood vacant. Once neatly trimmed shrubs sat neglected, now a tangled mass of overgrown vegetation partially concealing the broken first-floor windows. The NO TRESPASSING sign shone like a red-and-white beacon against the crumbling brick.
There were many trespassers now. Patrol cars littered the parking lot, along with an ambulance and a fire truck. A police barricade blocked the front of the building. A group of uniformed officers held a buzzing crowd of onlookers in check.
Jesse killed the motorcycle’s engine, climbed off, and reached for Faith.
She hesitated, her gaze sweeping the front of the building, her neck craning up as she directed her attention to the small figure peering over the edge of the roof. Daniel.
Her heart stopped beating for a long second and fear iced her insides.
“This is too intense.” She shook her head, a swirl of doubt gripping her body, refusing to let her budge. “I—I don’t see what I can do to help.”
“Just being here will help, Faith. You’re his foster mother.” Then Jesse’s warm hand covered hers. “Come on. It’ll be all right.”
She gathered her courage and managed a nod. A few seconds later, she was following him through the crowd to the front of the barricade, where Bradley waited for them. There an officer ushered the three toward the building.
Faith wasn’t quite sure how she managed each step. She’d covered many blocks over the past two days, beating the pavement to find Daniel, and now that she had, she could barely manage the short walk to the front door.
The minute she and Jesse and Bradley stepped inside, they found themselves in the middle of a monstrous room that had once been the bank lobby. The floors had been stripped of carpet, and an old Cupid fountain was now a decapitated block of chipped concrete. Police officers, firemen, and paramedics overflowed the room. Jesse stopped to answer background questions about Daniel, while Bradley went to use a nearby cellular phone to call Estelle.
“The name’s Miller. Detective in charge,” said a middle-aged man in a suit, who gripped Faith’s elbow and led her toward the stairwell at the back of the building.
“This is the only way up or down,” the detective said when Faith hesitated, her hand on the banister. “I’d offer you the elevator, but those things are in sorry shape, even if we could get the power turned on. Besides, they don’t reach the roof, and that’s where we’re headed.”
She stared up into the impenetrable blackness, and panic swamped her senses. Her fingers tightened. This was different, she told herself. This wasn’t just searching for a missing teen. This was life and death. Life or death.
Oddly enough, as much as the notion frightened her, it was the very thing that forced her to take a step, then another and another. It was the one thing that kept her going when her fears and the endless chant—Nobody’s savior—threatened to turn her around and send her running home.
“There’s a rusted-out fire escape on the east side,” the detective went on, his steps a steady clang on the metal steps. “We were hoping to send a surprise team up there, maybe get somebody behind him before he could realize what was happening, but my men have checked it out and it’s very creaky. He would hear us coming a mile away.”
“What about the fire department? They have ladders, don’t they?”
“That would make too much noise, too. We don’t want to spook him. They’re busy setting up a tarp right now, in case he does jump. But that’s about all they can do, especially considering the circumstances.”
“What circumstances?”
The detective stopped two steps shy of the top and stared down at her. Softer shadows pushed from the door leading to the roof, outlining his shape. His features were indistinguishable, but where she couldn’t see the serious set of his eyebrows, or the thin lines creasing his mouth, she could hear the strain in his voice.
“An old couple who lives up the street was driving by and saw Daniel up here about three hours ago. They’re the ones who reported him. They wouldn’t have thought anything about it—kids routinely hang out in this building—but the woman saw him holding a gun.”
“A gun?”
The detective nodded. “Maybe he figures if he can’t get up the nerve to jump, he can use a bullet. Or vice versa. Anyhow, the gun is what makes this situation all the more volatile. With his record, if things don’t go his way, he could easily turn that gun on one of my men, or a civilian. Which brings me to my next point. I’ve agreed to let you talk to him, but you keep your distance, and under no circumstances move away from the shelter of this doorway. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“I have to warn you. I doubt you’ll have much luck. We had the staff shrink up here and she couldn’t even get him to look at her. He just stands there, that gun in his hand …” His words trailed off and a shiver crept through Faith. Her fingers tightened on the banister.
“If you can’t talk him down, I’ve got a team busy setting up a tarp out front. If he jumps from where he’s standing now, we should get him. If he doesn’t turn the gun on himself first.”
Nobody’s savior.
The phrase haunted Faith, making her legs tremble as she mounted the last two steps. She couldn’t do this, she thought as she reached the doorway, the detective right in front of her. She couldn’t save Daniel. Just as she hadn’t been able to save Jane. Not when it really mattered. Not when it came down to life or death.
Jane.
The girl’s image flashed in Faith’s mind, the way she’d been those last few moments before the accident. Laughing and smiling and talking nonstop. They’d just walked out of the movie theater after seeing Sleepless in Seattle, and Jane had been set on walking back to Faith’s House rather than taking the bus. It had been a warm night. Clear. Perfect for an evening stroll.
Faith braced a hand against the stairwell wall and took a deep breath, but she didn’t smell the sour stench of garbage and air pollution. Instead, the warm, buttery scent of popcorn filled her nostrils, and brought tears to her eyes.
I’m nobody’s savior. …
; Faith saw the flashing DONT WALK sign as she and Jane approached the intersection. She was about to reach out, to remind the girl to hold up when a little old lady to Faith’s right dropped her purse.
“Let me,” Faith said, bending to help the woman retrieve her belongings. She glanced away for just a few seconds. Two blinks of an eye, but that was all it took.
The squeal of tires filled her eardrums, and her gaze shot up to see the car whirl around the corner. So fast. So wild. Then she saw Jane halfway through the intersection.
“Noooooooooo!” The scream tore from her lips, but it was too late. Jane’s body smashed against the grille, flipped into the air, then crashed facedown near the opposite curb while Faith stood motionless. Powerless.
Nobody’s savior …
* * *
“I—I can’t do this,” Faith mumbled, turning to go back down the stairs. Then the detective moved aside, giving Faith an unobstructed view of the roof, and Daniel.
A two-foot tall construction of raised concrete bordered the edge. Daniel stood on the short wall, staring off into a blue night sky that seemed to beckon him forward. Stars twinkled unspoken promises. Salvation, they whispered. Comfort. Safety. Home. And the nasty-looking gun cradled in his good hand was his one-way ticket to everything life had deprived him of.
At least that was the way he saw it. Faith knew it even before he turned and his gaze caught hers.
Hatred glittered in his pale eyes, but there was something else, as well. Fear. She’d read the emotion so many times in so many other kids. Kids she’d watched walk away from her. And kids she’d helped.
Every child at Faith’s House had had the same look at one time. The same desolation. The same sense of hopelessness.
But no more.
Nobody’s savior.
The truth rushed at her as frenzied as the sudden gust of wind that lashed at her face.
She hadn’t been able to save Jane because what had happened, the accident, had been just that: an accident, no rhyme or reason to it. Faith had had no control of the driver or the car, no way of foreseeing or preventing the tragedy.
Faithless Angel Page 27