by Simon Swift
She was referring to her father's funeral. It was only a few weeks since they had buried him back in Alabama and that was the funeral that I had accompanied Maggie to just prior to Dyke getting shot. Dyke had refused to go on the grounds that her family had never once come out East to visit. It was a callous thing to do and I agreed immediately to go with her, despite the fact that we knew there would be no end of rumors about the two of us. Once I had checked with Maggie, and she decided she could live with it, I took a perverse pleasure in riling my old sparring partner.
"I had all his other friends around one by one," she said. "Not that there were many of those." She paused and gulped her own drink. "And I got the policy through last week. There should be enough to look after me for a while."
I sat listening. There was not a trace of upset or loss in her voice. She was emotionless and businesslike, just as she had always been. Just as she had learnt she had to be.
Dyke and Maggie had been married for fifteen years. Naturally, they met on a case and Dyke swept her off her feet with his tales of adventure and excitement. This was a real buzz at first for the young impressionable trainee hairdresser. Pack in her dead end job in a tiny hamlet in South Arkansas and follow her own James Cagney wherever he may go. He was everything she ever wanted, everything she had dreamt of; brave, dashing, full of excitement, and of course rich. Filthy rich. Maybe he didn't flash it about. Always insisting he would never leave his home right here in Chinatown and would always tend to his thirst at the local Dragon Bar. Still in spite of his scruffy image and even scruffier office, Dyke was never short of money.
Soon, however, the magic wore off. There were cases that Maggie couldn't help with. Dyke got onto bigger and bigger things. Either she wasn't allowed to travel with him, or wasn't even told. Night after night she would be left on her own in their reasonably plush house. The stories he would come back with would at first be enough. Keeping the life of adventure alive. But eventually stories weren't enough.
Dyke ended up spending more time away from home than he did with his wife. For him the business would always come first. He was a workaholic and a public servant. Anyone who couldn't accept this suffered. The money was a great comforter. Maggie might not have had the fairytale marriage anymore, but she had enough money to buy whatever she wanted. And she wanted a lot.
Shopping sprees would last weeks. Clothes, furniture, new dining rooms, Maggie bought the lot. And when shopping failed to satisfy all her needs, she would join a new club. Every sports coach from golf to tennis had had the pleasure of Maggie Spanner.
Despite the many rumors to the contrary, I never did join them. At first it bothered me, nasty sniping behind our backs. It wasn't my own reputation I was bothered about, that was never lily white, but Maggie suffered greatly. I suppose I should have put people straight, but Maggie always stopped me, she was happy to let people think exactly what they wanted. We were happy just as friends, bloody good friends, but friends all the same. I realized I was more important to her as a friend the further and further she drifted apart from her husband.
They ended up barely knowing each other. Their marriage became a convenient arrangement. Dyke would always love the little girl he saved from poverty. And Maggie in return would be forever thankful. She was a smart lady, well aware she was onto a good deal and rarely even considered a split.
I finished my drink and Maggie promptly refilled it. Doing the same to her own glass. "This isn't a normal visit, is it Errol? I can tell that you have got something up your sleeve."
I smiled a nervous smile.
"Have you got some news? Some skeletons to clear up?" she asked.
I rubbed my hands together. "I have indeed. Tonight is going to be a good one. We have a few visitors, a nice mixture of characters. We're going to have a bit of a party, a few drinks, nibbles, that sort of thing..."
"Oh good, I've got some pies in the oven."
I nodded approvingly, "…and then at the end of our get together I'm going to tell you all a little story."
Maggie's face straightened some. "So you have solved it I presume? I always knew you would do it, Errol. Dyke always said you were a good for nothing son of a bitch, but I knew that wasn't so. You have so many talents."
She didn't ask me who did it, I noted.
I raised my glass. "To Dyke," I proclaimed, eyeing Maggie heavily.
"To Dyke," she repeated eventually. "And to your ending of this whole sordid caper. I do hope it's a good one. My publisher's been screaming for an end to my book all week."
Again our glasses were filled and Maggie disappeared through to the kitchen. There had been no sign of my best buddy all day. After this morning, my hopes had slipped, but a small hope had remained. That was all but evaporated now. Unless...
I surveyed the room in which I was sitting. There was a black, leather sofa for three in the middle of the homely room. Another chair like the one I was sitting in, was situated at the western wall by the large open coal fire. Across from the fire was a solid wall cabinet full of cut glass, an untouched china dinner set and more awards. A big leopard skin rug sat in the middle of the room. In the corner between me and the wall stood a large, cuddly teddy bear. It was a big, brown fury creature standing two feet tall with a proud look on its face.
Maggie returned, a fresh coat of lip gloss shining from her delectable mouth. She stood behind me and slowly massaged my shoulders. It felt real nice, like all the worries of the world were slowly being prized away, leaving a warm contented sensation. Her soft fingers were replaced by a warm breath on the back of my neck. I could feel the goose bumps all down my spine as she softly kissed my tender flesh. I sighed and leant my head back in approval.
That fateful day, when I stumbled across my dying colleague I made a quick decision. To stay well away from the Spanner household. It was well known that Dyke and Maggie were not the most monogamous of couples. Anyone found to have an involvement with the widow would have been a suspect. Which was exactly what happened.
I knew I would always be able to return when the dust had settled, and the real killer was behind bars. In the meantime, Timmy Matthews would keep me informed. They had of course visited the house early in the investigation but it had been fruitless. Timmy knew as well as I did that Dyke was a brain man. Everything he knew was stored in his head. Predictably there was not a scrap of useful information to be found. And from Maggie? She pretended to be upset, but was also of no use. I made the decision to finish it all here not long ago. It was a perverse thing to do but it seemed very apt and Maggie was always a lover of a good yarn.
The teddy bear in the corner smiled wickedly.
"Hello," I said, sitting upright. "I'm afraid you're going to have to put that on hold sweetheart. It looks like our first guests have arrived."
Maggie smiled before preening herself in front of the mirror. The car came to a halt outside and a number of people got out.
"Are you ready for the dramatics to begin, sweetheart?" I asked, as Maggie again glossed her beautiful lips.
"I'm ready," she answered a little nervously. "Errol, you promise we're safe don't you?"
"Like I told you on the telephone sweetheart, just follow the script. As long as you do that everything will be just fine. If you get in a muddle follow my lead. Now are you sure you're going to be alright?"
She nodded.
"Good. You sit down there, honey. I better answer the door."
Maggie sat down in the corner as I stood up. There was a sharp knock on the door. Three firm taps followed by a pause and another three taps. I brushed myself down and opened the front door.
The smiling face of the fat man greeted me at the doorstep. Behind him, stood four other people. Two were bound and gagged, one carried a cocked weapon and the other stood staring at the floor nervously. I raised an eyebrow in surprise before ushering them all in.
"Come through. Join the party,” I instructed.
"So kind sir, so very kind. Audrey put that gun away, we are
guests."
Slowly they all made their way through the hall. I closed the door and followed them in. The Coward was already slumped in the armchair by the fire. The two men that were trussed up were carefully maneuvered to the side of the sofa, the nervous woman squeezed onto the other half. Audrey stood up, his gun now re-holstered and a scowl fixed to his baby face. I pulled up a stool from the dining table and sat down by the door.
"Here we all are," I began. "I thank you all for attending. Your host tonight is the beautiful Mrs. Spanner." I gestured at Maggie, who was already on her feet pouring drinks. "Before we continue any further," I now aimed my speech directly at the Coward. "Why the extras? The invitation was for your good self, young Audrey here and Mr..." I nodded at the killer of Woo Wang.
"My sincere apologies sir," began the Coward. He was as usual dressed in an undersized suit, a spotty bow tie and with a silk handkerchief protruding from his breast pocket. "Would you be so kind as to let me explain?"
"Of course." I smiled, looking at my watch. "You are early after all."
Everybody now had a drink in their hand, except for the captives. The other man was looking cool and calm, his eyes were relaxed. The killer on the other hand was close to making a struggle. His terrified eyes stared deep into my own, before darting across the room, first at Audrey then at the Coward.
I avoided his gaze, concentrating mainly on the fat man. As always he had a wide smile on his jovial face. He sipped at his bourbon before setting his glass down on the mantelpiece.
"You must indeed be wondering why I have brought with me two captives sir, am I right?" He emphasized the word two.
I smiled, nodding slightly. An answer was not required.
"I do hope you will not feel any less of me. Your friend has come to absolutely no harm, I must assure you."
Again I remained silent, gazing briefly at Hermeez before returning my attention to the Coward.
"I was, how shall I put it... cashing in an insurance policy, so to speak. You see you are not the only brilliant operator in this fine city of ours. The most brilliant maybe, but not alone in your brilliance." He paused and glanced at Hermeez. "It was suggested to me that it may be in my interest to keep a loose surveillance on your movements. I am sure you wouldn't have expected anything else, am I right?"
I smiled.
"Of course it is nigh an impossibility to keep tabs on Errol Black twenty-four hours a day. His subordinates however are not all so careful and so Mr. Wentz too became a subject of my spies."
"Did your surveillance prove fruitful?" I asked trying to keep the anxiety from my voice.
"There was nothing sinister in my actions, I assure you, but if I could attain my most prized possession on the cheap, as it were. Well why not? I am sure that you understand."
"I trust by your attendance here that you were not in luck?"
The deep long sigh followed. The Coward looked distant, thoughtful even, before once again he grinned uncontrollably. "I'm sure you understand my vigilance, sir. If you yourself were suddenly in the position to attain your half of our soon to be done deal for free..." He held out his bear like paws, "Well. It was worth a try. The end result being another lift in my deep respect for you, sir. To have let your partner slip through your own itchy fingers, only to lead my men to the stone would have been nothing short of sloppy. It would have been most out of character. I am now even more convinced of the brilliance of Errol Black. I truly am." He shook his head in accepted loss. "Such a pity you're untouchable, it really is."
I finished off my drink in one go. Maggie had disappeared into the kitchen, so I held the empty glass in my hands. "And what, may I ask, do you now intend doing with him? Those handcuffs look most uncomfortable."
Hermeez looked at me. His eyes were smiling although his face stayed expressionless. I was uneasy with his appearance here. He should have been with me all the way, not shunted in on the game right in the middle of the first battle. I avoided his gaze, choosing instead to look at Audrey, who appeared to have his own plans on that subject.
"I will of course release him into your care, sir. No doubt, you have your own ideas on what he deserves. I must however inform you that he was picked up with his bags packed and on route to the airport. I do believe he was walking out on you sir, but that is of course your business and not mine. Do with him what you will...after of course I have my hands on my most prized possession."
He rubbed his hands in anticipation.
There was a look of disappointment on the face of young Audrey. He took the sensible option of staying quiet but his melancholy shone out. Meanwhile all eyes rested upon me. Maggie interrupted, carrying a tray full of hot pies, nachos, potato chips and various other nibbles. The Coward wasted no time in diving in.
A few moments passed and the stand off continued. "Why don't you untie Mr. Wentz, Audrey?" I said. "Ungag him as well. If he murmurs a single word you have my permission to shoot him." I paused as the young assassin carried out my orders. "Hermeez," I turned to my German buddy, "why don't you just stand in the corner and keep quiet?"
There was general pleasure from the other members of the party. Audrey and the Coward looked at each other and smiled. The woman looked smugly at Hermeez, before returning her gaze to her lap. The Coward himself was highly amused. He laughed out loud. "You truly are a character, you really are. And in the wrong profession, that I am sure. You would have made a truly great criminal Mr. Black, by god you would."
There was another refilling of the drinks. Only the still bound and gagged killer was looking glum. He sat with his head slumped forward and his shoulders sagging. Audrey now felt comfortable enough to sit sown, and joined the other two on the sofa.
The Coward raised his flabby arm and closely inspected his watch. "Time is passing on. Are we now ready to do a deal, sir? I think we are."
I sighed and shook my head. The smile on the face of Phillip Coward was replaced by a frown. I accepted the cigarette Maggie held out for me. She leaned sexily over me to light it, earning the daggers from the other woman.
"You are forgetting I fear that we have one more outsider amongst us. Maybe you misunderstood the deal." I inhaled deeply. "But as far as I can remember, it did not involve Miss Marlow here." I nodded at the beautiful woman across, who immediately pretended she was not there.
"Let us not be too hasty sir," protested the Coward. "Miss Marlow here is present as a personal guest of my own. She has been…" he rubbed his chins, "...very helpful these last few weeks. I thought, as she is almost as anxious as myself to savor the beautiful Flegenheimer diamond, it would only be courteous and proper for her to attend. She will be absolutely no bother, that I do promise you sir."
"I'm sure she won't," I replied, looking firmly at Marlow. She was wearing more conservative clothes than I was familiar with. A short black skirt showed off her splendid legs, whilst she wore a businesslike white blouse and ladies blazer. She looked timidly into her lap, avoiding my gaze, as if it would kill her.
Maybe it would, I thought sardonically, recalling our last meeting. She had pleaded for her life, like a terrified animal, swearing she would do anything I ask. She would work for me, take the next plane out of America. She even offered me money. Of course, I ignored all her ridiculous pleas, casually filling my weapon with ammo. Tears no longer came from her eyes. They were part of her repertoire, part of her library of theatrics. It was a beautiful moment. Her eyes, all red and cold were now acting true. Genuinely fearful for her own life. The femme fatale all but drained away from her.
But here she was again. Obviously taking absolutely no notice of our parting shot, which incidentally had nothing to do with firearms. I had put my gun back in my holster, got Marlow's clothes together and put them in her arms. She stood frozen. Still not quite sure what would happen next. Had she been reprieved? Would we both walk away from the hotel alive? A prospect which for the last few hours had seemed most unlikely.
Whilst shepherding her to the door I played my royal f
lush. She was not to be used as target practice after all. I assured her that I was not yet a cold-blooded murderer, a fact that surprised her. Maybe, judging by her own standards, she thought the devil was in us all. I bluffed her with my innocence. She was to leave. To leave New York, the diamond and most importantly of all, my life. I was giving her a chance, and opportunity to save herself and to disappear. If however she did not, if I was ever to come across her delectable, sweet face again, I would have to reconsider my assertion. As yet, I was not a killer, but she certainly had the ability to change that.
She briefly looked up as I stubbed out my Lucky. Maybe she wanted to pick out another and light it up for me. Maybe she was surprised by her own audacity. Defying my warning she was once again in pursuit, but now hiding behind the substantial defenses of the Coward. My gamble had indeed paid off.
"Okay, she can stay," I asserted, earning even more plaudits from my chosen guests. "But I must warn you. She wants the stone for herself. When we do the deal, be careful. Turn your back and you may just find a knife in it."
"Okay sir," began the Coward after once again checking his timepiece. "I think everything has now been taken care of. Are we now ready to do a deal, I'm sure we are."
"You know what? I think we are."
The look of sheer excitement on the man's face was incredible. His big, friendly eyes were watering with anticipation, his cheeks warm and glowing. He rubbed his paws together constantly, as if they had just come out of a freezer. The consensus we had reached also appeared to have united the other members of the party. Audrey had lost his silent obnoxious attitude. A sense of excitement had now replaced Hermeez's cool indifference. And the other two; Marlow and the killer, their own laps were for the first time that evening not the center of attention.