Taking a deep breath, I pulled in the anger, fear, and frustration. Perspective was needed. “What are we going to do?”
“We don’t need his help,” Daemon said.
“But you do,” Blake whispered. “I heard about the window thing with Simon.”
I glanced at Daemon, and he shook his head.
“What do you think will happen next time? Simon ran off, doing God knows what. You won’t get so lucky again.”
Simon’s disappearance wasn’t luck. I didn’t want to look at it that way. Tipping my head back, I closed my eyes. Ice settled in my limbs. It was no longer a fear of exposing the Luxen, but myself now, too. And my mom.
“How do you know so much about them?” I asked, voice small.
“The girl I was telling you about? She told me everything. I wanted to help her…to get away, but she wouldn’t leave. The DOD had something or someone that meant a lot to her.”
God. The DOD was like the mafia. They’d use any means necessary. I shivered. “Who was she?”
“Liz something,” he said. “Don’t know her last name.”
The walls of the car seemed to shift even closer. Trapped. I felt trapped.
Daemon was boiling over in the seat next to me. “You know,” he said to Blake, “there’s nothing stopping me from killing you. Right now.”
“Yes, there is.” Blake’s voice was even. “There’s Katy and the fact I doubt you’re a cold-blooded killer.”
Daemon stiffened. “I don’t trust you.”
“You don’t have to. Only Katy does.”
And that was the thing. I wasn’t sure I did trust him, but he was like me. And if he could help me not expose Daemon and my friends, I’d do anything. It was just that simple. Everything else would have to be played by ear.
I looked at Daemon. He was staring ahead now, hand on the dashboard as if the plastic was grounding him somehow. Did he feel as helpless as I did? It didn’t matter. I couldn’t—wouldn’t risk him.
“When do we start?” I asked.
“Tomorrow if you can,” Blake said.
“My mom leaves for work after five.” I swallowed.
Blake agreed and Daemon said, “I’ll be there.”
“Not necessary,” Blake shot back.
“And I don’t care. You aren’t doing a damn thing with Katy without me being there.” He faced the boy again. “I don’t trust you. Just so we’re clear.”
“Whatever.” Blake climbed out of the car. Cold air rushed in, and I called out his name. He stopped with his hand on the door. “What?”
“How did you get away from the Arum when they attacked you?” I asked.
Blake looked away, eyes squinting at the sky. “That’s not something I’m ready to talk about, Katy.” He shut the door and jogged off toward his car.
I sat there for several minutes, staring out the window, not really seeing anything. Daemon muttered something under his breath and then opened his door, disappearing into the shadows surrounding the diner. He’d left me.
I didn’t even remember the trip home. Pulling into the driveway, I killed the engine and sat back, closing my eyes. Night seeped into my silent car. I got out, took a step, and heard my porch steps groan.
Daemon had beaten me home. He came down the steps, his baseball cap hiding his eyes.
I shook my head. “Daemon…”
“I don’t trust him. I don’t trust a damn thing about him, Kat.” He took off his hat, thrust his fingers through his hair, and then slammed the cap back down. “He comes out of nowhere and knows everything. Every instinct is telling me he can’t be trusted. He could be anyone, working for any organization. We don’t know anything about him.”
“I know.” Suddenly, I was just so freaking tired. All I wanted to do was lay down. “But at least this way we can keep an eye on him. Right?”
He gave a short, dry laugh. “There are other ways of dealing with him.”
“What?” My voice rose and was carried away by the wind. “Daemon, you can’t be thinking…”
“I don’t even know what I’m thinking.” He took a step back. “And dammit, my head is so not in the right place at this moment.” There was a pause. “Why were you with him in the first place?”
My heart lurched. “We were grabbing something to eat and I was—”
“You were what?”
Somehow I felt like I’d walked into an even bigger trap. Unsure of how to answer, I didn’t say anything. That was my biggest mistake.
Understanding dawned, and he tipped his chin up. For an instant, the green of his eyes darkened with raw emotion. “You went to Bryon after…”
After I’d spent the night with him…wrapped in his arms. I shook my head, needing him to understand why I went to see Blake. “Daemon—”
“You know, I’m not really surprised.” His smile was half knowing and half bitter. “We kissed. Twice. You spent the night using me as your own body pillow…and liking it. I’m sure that had you freaking out the moment I left. You ran straight to Boris, because he really doesn’t make you feel anything. And feeling something for me scares the hell out of you.”
My mouth snapped close. “I did not run straight to Blake. He texted me about getting something to eat, and it wasn’t even a date, Daemon. I went to tell him—”
“Then what was it, Kitten?” He stepped forward, peering down at me. “He obviously likes you. You’ve kissed him before. He’s willing to risk his own safety to train you.”
“It’s not what you think. If you’d let me explain…”
“You don’t know what I think,” he snapped.
Something awful unfurled in my stomach. “Daemon—”
“You know, you’re unbelievable.”
I was sure he didn’t mean that in a good way.
“The night of your party, when you thought I was messing around with Ash? You were so pissed that you went outside and blew up windows, exposing yourself.”
I flinched. All true.
“And now you’re doing—what? Messing around with him in between kissing me?”
But I like you. The words wouldn’t leave my lips. I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t say them. Not when he was looking at me, full of anger and distrust and, worse yet, disappointment. “I’m not messing around with him, Daemon! We’re just friends. That’s all.”
Skepticism drew his lips into a tight line. “I’m not stupid, Kat.”
“I didn’t say that you were!” Irritation spiked, overshadowing the deep ache in my chest. “You’re not giving me a chance to explain anything. As usual, you’re acting like a freaking know-it-all and you keep cutting me off!”
“And as usual, you’re a bigger problem than I could’ve ever imagined.”
Flinching as though I’d been slapped, I took a step back. “I’m not your problem.” My voice cracked. “Not anymore.”
Regret seeped through his anger. “Kat—”
“No. I was never your problem in the first place.” Anger sped through me like an out-of-control forest fire. “And I’m sure as hell not your problem now.”
The windows in his eyes to all those emotions slammed shut, leaving me trembling in the dark. And I knew. I knew I’d hurt him more than I thought possible. I’d hurt him in a way much worse than he’d ever hurt me.
“Hell. This”—he waved his hand around me—“isn’t even important right now. Just forget it.”
He was gone before I could even finish my sentence. Stunned, I turned around, but he was nowhere. A pang hit me in the chest and tears filled my eyes as I turned back to my door.
The sudden realization smacked me upside the head.
This whole time, I’d been so busy pushing him away, telling him whatever was between us wasn’t real. And now that I’d realized the depth of what he felt for me—what I felt for him—he was gone.
Chapter 19
All morning and part of the afternoon, I poked around the house like a zombie. There was this weird throbbing in my chest. My eyes
ached as if they were filled with tears that wouldn’t fall. It reminded me of the months after Dad’s death.
With my heart not really in it, I did a quick review on this dystopian novel I’d read last week and closed my laptop. Lying down, I stared at the spider web of cracks in my bedroom ceiling. The truth was hard to face. I’d been trying to deny it all morning. A jumbled knot of clogged emotions had formed under my ribs last night and it was still there. Every so often it seemed heavier, more intense.
I liked Daemon—really, really liked him.
I’d been so caught up nursing my hurt over the way he’d acted when we first met that I’d been blind to my growing feelings, to what I wanted, and to how he felt. And now what? Daemon, who never backed down from anything, had walked away before allowing me to explain anything.
There was no escaping it. I’d hurt him.
Rolling over, I shoved my face into the pillow. His scent was still there. I clutched it tightly and closed my eyes. How had things gotten so tangled up? At what point had my life turned into some bizarre science fiction soap opera?
“Honey, are you feeling okay?”
I opened my eyes and focused on my mom, who was wearing scrubs with little hearts and swirls on them. Where did she get those things? “Yeah, I’m just tired.”
“You sure?” She sat on the edge of the bed, placing her hand against my forehead. When she determined I wasn’t sick, she smiled a little. “The Christmas tree is beautiful, honey.”
A rush of swirling emotions crashed into me. “Yeah,” I said, voice hoarse. “It is.”
“Who helped you with it?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Daemon.”
Mom smoothed my hair back with her hand. “That’s really sweet of him.”
“I know.” I paused. “Mom?”
“Yes, honey?”
I didn’t even know what I was going to tell her. Everything was too…complicated, too jumbled up in the truth of what my friends were. I shook my head. “Nothing. Just that I love you.”
Smiling, she bent over and kissed my forehead. “I love you, too.” She got up and stopped at the door. “I was thinking about having Will over for dinner this week. What do you think?”
It was great my mom had a stellar love life. “Cool with me.”
After Mom left for work, I forced myself to get up. Blake would be here soon. So would Daemon, if he still showed.
I went into the kitchen and grabbed a Coke out of the fridge. Passing time, I collected all the books I had duplicate copies of and placed them on my desk. A book giveaway would make me feel better. When I went downstairs to find my Coke—because apparently it had run away from me at some point—a familiar warmth spread along my neck.
I froze on the bottom step, hand gripping the banister.
There was a knock on the door.
Hopping from the step to the floor, I rushed to the door and threw it open. Out of breath, I clenched the knob. “Hey.”
Daemon arched a dark eyebrow. “It sounded like you were going to come straight through the door.”
I flushed. “I, uh, was…looking for my drink.”
“Looking for your drink?”
“I lost it.”
He glanced over my shoulder, a small smile playing on his lips. “It’s right there, on the table.”
Turning around, I saw the red-and-white can laughing at me from a corner table. “Oh. Well, thank you.”
Daemon stepped inside, brushing my arm as he passed. Oddly, the fact he just invited himself in didn’t upset me anymore. He shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall. “Kitten…”
A thrill went through me. “Daemon…?”
The half smile was there, but it lacked its usual smugness. “You look tired.”
I crept closer. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“Thinking about me?” he asked in a hushed voice.
There wasn’t a moment of hesitation. “Yes.”
His eyes widened slightly with surprise. “Well, I was preparing this whole speech about how you need to stop denying that I consume your every waking thought and haunt your dreams. Now I’m not sure what to say.”
Leaning against the wall beside him, I could feel his body heat. “You, speechless? That’s one for the record books.”
Daemon lowered his head, his eyes as deep and endless as the forests outside. “I didn’t sleep well last night, either.”
I moved closer until my arm brushed his. He stiffened ever so slightly. “Last night—”
“I wanted to apologize,” he said, and I was stunned yet again. He turned so that he was facing me completely, and I found his hand without looking. His fingers threaded through mine. “I’m sorry—”
Someone cleared his throat.
Surprise flitted through me. Before I could turn, Daemon’s eyes narrowed, glinting with anger. He dropped my hand and took a step back. Crap. I’d forgotten about Blake. And I’d forgotten to close the door behind me.
“Am I interrupting?” Blake asked.
“Yes, Bart, you are always interrupting,” Daemon responded.
I turned around, my heart deflating as if someone had popped it. The entire length of my back burned under Daemon’s stare.
Blake opened the storm door and stepped inside. “Sorry it took me so long to get over here.”
“Too bad it didn’t take longer.” Daemon stretched idly, like a cat. “And too bad you didn’t get lost or—”
“Eaten by wild boars or killed in a horrific ten-car pile-up. I get it.” Blake interrupted and sauntered past us. “You don’t need to be here, Daemon. No one is forcing you.”
Daemon pivoted on his heel, following Blake. “There’s no other place I’d rather be.”
My head was already starting to throb. Training with Daemon present wasn’t going to be easy. I slowly made my way into the living room. They were in an epic stare down.
I cleared my throat. “So, um, how are we going to do this?”
Daemon opened his mouth, and the good Lord only knows what he was about to say, but Blake beat him to it. “What we need to do first is figure out what you can already do.”
I tucked my hair back, uncomfortable with both of them staring at me like…like I didn’t even know what. “Uh, I’m not sure there’s much I can do.”
Blake’s lips pursed. “Well, you stopped the branch. And the time with the windows. That’s two things.”
“But I didn’t do them on purpose.” At Blake’s confused expression, I looked over at Daemon. He appeared bored, sprawled on the couch. “What I mean is, it wasn’t a conscious effort, you know.”
“Oh.” His brows lowered. “Well, that’s disappointing.”
Gee. Thanks. My hands fell to my sides.
Daemon’s bright gaze slid to Blake. “What a great motivator you are.”
Blake ignored him. “So these have been random outbursts of power?” When I nodded, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Maybe it will just fade?” I said, hopeful.
“It would’ve already done that by now. See, one of four things happens after a mutation, from what I could learn.” He started moving around the living room, giving me a wide berth. “A human can be healed, and then it fades after a few weeks, even months. Or a human can be mutated and it sticks, and they develop the same abilities as a Luxen—or more. Then there are the ones who kind of…self-destruct. But you’re out of that stage.”
Thank God, I thought wryly. “And?”
“Well, and then there are humans who are mutated beyond what would be expected, I guess.”
“What does that mean?” Daemon tapped his fingers on the arm of the couch. I glared at them.
Blake folded his arms and rocked back. “Like in the freakish-mutant-looks department and in the head, and it’s different for everyone.”
“Am I going to turn into a mutant?” I squeaked.
He laughed. “I don’t think so.”
I don’t think so wasn’
t high on the reassurance scale.
Daemon’s fingers stopped their annoying tapping. “And how do you really know all of this, Flake?”
“Blake,” he corrected. “Like I said, I’ve known others like Katy who have been sucked into the DOD.”
“Uh huh.” Daemon smirked.
Blake shook his head. “Anyway, back to the important stuff. We need to see if you can control it. If not…”
Before I even had a chance to respond, Daemon was on his feet and in Blake’s face. “Or what, Hank? What if she can’t?”
“Daemon.” I sighed. “First off, his name is Blake. B-L-A-K-E. And really, can we do this without any macho-man moments? Because if not, this is going to take forever.”
He spun around, pinning me with a dark look that made me roll my eyes. “Okay, so what do you suggest?”
“The best thing to start with is to see if you can move anything on command.” Blake paused. “And I guess we can go from there.”
“Move what?”
Blake looked around the room. “How about a book?”
A book? Hell, which one? Shaking my head, I focused on the one that had a cover of a girl whose dress turned into rose petals. So pretty. It was about reincarnation and had a male main character who was swoon-worthy and then some. God, I’d so want to date—
“Focus,” Blake said.
I made a face, but okay, I wasn’t really focusing. I pictured the book lifting into the air and coming to my hand like I’d seen Daemon and Dee do so many times.
Nothing happened.
I tried harder. Waited longer. But the book remained on the back of the couch…as did the pillows, the remote control, and Mom’s Good Housekeeping magazine.
Three hours later and the best I’d done was cause the coffee table to tremble and Daemon to doze off on the couch.
I fail.
Tired and cranky, I ended practice and woke up Daemon by kicking the leg of the coffee table. “I’m hungry. I’m tired. And I’m done.”
Blake’s brows shot up. “Okay. We can pick up tomorrow. No biggie.”
I glared at him.
Stretching his arms, Daemon yawned. “Wow, Brad, you are such a great trainer. I’m amazed.”
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