How long would I have to live with my lie? I had no inclination of what she knew. Not prepared to confess, I waited for her to speak.
“I won’t keep you long, dear. Welcome to the family,” Helen said, handing me an envelope. It was already opened. “After your father died, Roosevelt left this at my house. With the exception of that Madison girl, there are no accidents. I take that back,” she said, then told me, “I opened the letter.”
The name on the outside was Jasmine Singleton. I looked at her. “This is addressed to my mother. Why didn’t he give it to me?”
“I don’t know the answer. You’ll have to ask my son. Read it,” she said.
I didn’t want to. I had to. Unfolding the page, I prayed it would give me closure. The letter was addressed to me.
Dear Sindy,
I knew eventually this letter would get to you. Hopefully, before the letter I mailed to your mother gets to her. By the time you read this, your mother should’ve contacted you and your sister. I hope each of you can forgive me.
Charles Singleton
“That’s it?” I asked, searching Helen’s eyes for answers.
“Not quite, dear,” she said, handing me a different letter. It was sealed. “When the time is right, I’ll let you know.” She took the letter back then said, “When I give this letter back to you, you must immediately give it to my son so he/we can properly raise my grandson. Inside this envelope are the real results from the paternity test for Zach.”
Speechless for a moment, I inhaled. “You knew?”
Staring at me for a moment, she said, “If you thought I didn’t, then you don’t know me. I’ll hold on to this for about six months.”
For the first time, Helen opened her arms and wrapped them around me. “You did good. You got Granville out of Texas. You gave Madison a dose of her own deceit.”
Wow. “What if Roosevelt doesn’t forgive me?” I did not want to end up hurting him like Madison.
“You’re not hearing me, dear. I’ll take care of my son. I’ll accept full responsibility. He won’t hold this against me. In six months, Madison will have a new man and—”
“What if she refuses to accept the result?”
Helen shook her head. “Madison knows the truth. She’s hoping to give you a dose of her poison. That’s not going to happen on Helen’s watch.”
“And how—”
She interrupted. “And now, it’s time for you to reunite with your mother, sister, nieces, nephew, and brother-in-law. Come, dear. It’s rude to keep your guests waiting.”
I sprang from the sofa, ran down the stairs. I couldn’t believe it. This was the best surprise gathering of my life. After over twelve years, there she was.
“Mother, I thought you—”
The words stuck in my throat. I was happy my mother was alive. I hugged her, then each of my family members.
Our mother said, “I don’t want to live another day without you guys in my life. I love you. At least your father did something right before he died . . . that dirty bastard. I’m glad he’s dead. I—”
“I’m glad everyone could make it on such short notice. Let’s break bread and candidly share our thoughts,” Helen said.
Some people really are better off dead, even if it’s only for the ones who were alive. Reuniting with my mother, my sister, and family, I too was eternally grateful that my father was dead.
Sometimes doing the wrong thing was right. I shouldn’t have lied about Roosevelt’s being Zach’s biological father but I believe Helen was right. By the time he discovers the truth, Madison would have another man and Granville would have a child of his own. There were some lies a person just had to die with. I was indeed my father’s daughter.
I whispered in Roosevelt’s ear, “Tonight I’m going to be the best you never had.”
Life is Short. Love is Shorter.
Or is that the other way around
Every time I think I’ve found
That thing they call love
I find myself lost
In the most beautiful space
I believe God created
Inept
Innate
My heart dances with joy
My passion pulsates with pleasure
Longing for that which I cannot measure
But imagine it will last forever
Whatever that is . . .
Reincarnation of fornication
It makes me not want to die
At the same time I lie
To myself
About the reality of the possibility
That this will last
For who or whom
Love is short
Life is shorter
Or is it other way around
Whatever it is I’ve found
I pray it never ends
Even when it Ends
A READING GROUP GUIDE
IF YOU DON’T KNOW ME
Mary B. Morrison
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The suggested questions that follow are included to enhance your group’s reading of this book.
Discussion Questions
1. Which character is smarter, Madison or Sindy? How long do you think Madison will wait before she remarries?
2. Would Chicago marry Sindy if he knew she was involved in falsifying the paternity test?
3. If you had to marry one or the other, would it be Chicago or Chaz? Why?
4. When Chicago said to Sindy, “My chef prepared a chili bean casserole and a spinach quiche. It’s in the oven. If you don’t mind heating it up, that would make your man happy,” do you believe he sent a mixed message? What examples can you give of men acting as though a relationship is more than what it is?
5. Men often talk about “marriage material.” Realizing no one is perfect, which character would you marry? Which two characters would you like to see married?
6. Did Madison deserve to get played in the end? Do you know anyone who has lied about the paternity of a child? If your best friend confided in you that she’d lied to a man and told him he was the father, what would you do? What if the liar was your child? Is it your right to get involved?
7. Deception is deeper than love. Why do people, lie, cheat, and abuse their spouse, then beg that person to stay? Have you messed up then pleaded for forgiveness? Did staying make the relationship better or worse? Can you truly forgive someone after they’ve broken your heart?
8. Granville: Is he happy with his new wife? Does he deserve happiness? Or should he be behind bars?
9. If you had millions of dollars, would you give your soon-to-be ex financial stability if they’d lied to you repeatedly? Why is Chicago extremely generous with Madison? Do you think they’ll get back together?
10. Would you agree with Granville’s perspective, “Freedom was more important than telling the truth. That’s why people hired lawyers to get them off the hook.” What relatable situations are you aware of?
11. Should Madison have allowed the judge to have an independent paternity test? What type of relationship would Madison have with Chicago if he knew the child was his? Would Madison have moved on with her life or constantly tried to destroy any relationship Chicago would’ve had? Or continuously fought to remain Mrs. DuBois?
12. What do you believe attracted Chaz to Numbiya? How can you tell if a man is “the marrying kind”?
13. How many people do you know who could be bought/ bribed for two million dollars? Would they kill someone for that amount of money?
14. Breast implants: Should women get them for cosmetic purposes? What part of your body would you enhance?
15. Do you believe, “Sometimes doing the wrong thing is right?” Have you ever intentionally deceived someone? If so, why?
D.A.D.:
A Woman’s Guide to Choosing the Right One
by Mary Honey B Morrison
A man with his hand out needs to put his dick in it.
Introduction
Just when you think you’ve pi
cked the right dick, he fucks up.
I’m not dumbing down this book by censoring what needs to be said. Your mama probably never told you what your daddy has always known. Dicks respond to stimulation, not intellect. Think about all the men you never thought would cheat on their wives. One of those women might be you. Or she may have married a former president, the head of the CIA, or an MVP in the NBA.
Why men cheat is not complicated. What puzzles me is when a woman discovers her man is sexing another woman, or man, they’re shocked. After reading D.A.D.: A Woman’s Guide to Choosing the Right One, you’ll see why I say, “Dicks are dumb.”
I’ve never met a dick that was impressed with a woman’s brain. If she’s willing to give him brain (oral sex), that dick will pay attention. In most instances, there is no promise to call the woman the next day. If a woman doesn’t know what she wants before she opens her legs, after he cums, he’s done.
I’m writing this book to primarily empower women. Secondarily, to educate men. Ladies need help identifying the men who are dumber than their dicks and understand why these guys do not care about the women they fuck. Remember this: Whenever you let a dick choose you, you will get fucked. Choose your dick wisely, ladies. That means, at least one of you is thinking ahead.
When I hear about books like He’s Just Not That Into You and Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, I’m not impressed. I’m not mad at the authors for whatever their reason/motivation may be for giving women advice but I’m getting ready to connect with women on a deeper level. Why? Because I, like every real woman, have a pussy and the men who write books for us do not.
There’s a belief that, if men write relationship books for women, they’ll make a lot of money. And that has proven to be true. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t write a relationship book because women don’t want advice from another woman. I disagree. Anyone who believes a man can understand women better than a woman is disillusioned. Keep reading, I’m going to tell you why.
What men can count on is the fact that women are emotional. Lots of women have no idea why they can’t get or keep a man. Therefore, it’s easy for a man to sell a woman hope. Why? Because hope is the only thing greater than fear.
There are millions of lonely single women with low self-esteem, and I hate to admit, some have little to no common sense when it comes to dealing with a man. Quite a few women don’t understand why they don’t have a man. Change the way you think. Change the way you live.
Having a healthy relationship isn’t complicated when women understand that men are selfish and self-centered. Men are hardwired to produce babies, not to parent kids. Don’t let your dick shrivel up, dudes, this shit is true. I’ll break it down for you later.
I doubt if men who write books for women honestly want to help women make better relationship choices. If they cared about us, they wouldn’t have been the ones fucking us over in the first place.
Men have no idea how many women have been sexually abused by men before having their first relationship, first love, or first orgasm. Perhaps they do know because many of them are the ones that use, abuse, molest, or rape young girls. When I say young, I’m talking about starting with girls under the age of ten. Fast-forward six years; sixteen isn’t always so sweet for us but how many male authors have touched on this subject matter? Topics are generally about what we’re doing wrong. What we need to do differently. They approach relationships as if we are the problem. No, we are not.
This reminds me of the pastors who tried to molest me as a young girl. The first one was my best friend’s dad. I was about thirteen. We were in his house. He locked the bedroom door, kissed me on my lips, and said, “I want you to be my spoogie.” I left and didn’t go to my girlfriend’s house for a very long time.
The other reverend invited me on a picnic outside of New Orleans and tried to have sex with me. During the trip, he sniffed cocaine in front of me. I was fourteen but I was also glad I’d invited a girlfriend. I was smart enough not to go alone with him. After this happened, I’d sit in the pew on Sundays, watching the same man behind the pulpit constantly wipe his nose as he preached about how fornication is a sin.
What these two pastors didn’t realize was that my ninety-something-year-old great-grandfather had beat both of them to my pussy. At seven years old I’d already been molested. At sixteen, I was raped by a stranger, on the streets of my hometown, New Orleans. At twenty-three, I was beaten by my husband. I mean the balling of the fist, cocking back of the arm, punch after punch to my face. I divorced him immediately. No woman deserves that.
I guess I was supposed to pick myself up, dust myself off, and pretend nothing bad ever happened. Two out of three, I did that. The third one, forget that. I’m not the only woman with a mental Rolodex of men who have mistreated women. I believe most men are good but I also know all of them are not.
Men do not understand and acknowledge their roles in why some women are sexually repressed and others are promiscuous. Or why some women have a gold-digging, “I’m going to use him before he uses me” attitude. I’m sick of men saying black women are too strong. What are we to do when some of our men are acting like women? I’ll tell you later.
Men claim they’re looking for the right one after stomping on a hundred and one. How about they go back and apologize to the women they’ve mistreated? Women are not grapes and these guys wouldn’t know fine wine if a barrel fell on their heads. They want a lady after treating other women like whores. My question is, “Who’s supposed to love the whores?”
I’m done with womanizers giving advice to women about relationships when what they should be writing about is teaching boys and men how to stop treating girls and women like bitches.
Men don’t know us ladies. I believe a man will never treat his woman/wife the way he expects another man to treat his daughter. All that “I wish a man would mistreat or disrespect my daughter, he’s going to have to deal with me. I’ll shoot his ass.” Then you might as well put a bullet in the chamber, put a gun to your head, and pull the trigger because you’re not the exception.
Men want us to accept their double standards. Men who use women, abuse women, carelessly sex women, abandon women they’ve impregnated, and often secretly despise women wake up and say, “I can tell women how to get a good man because all the things that shouldn’t be done to a woman, I’ve done all that shit and then some. But I’m a good dog now.” Sure. Like his ass went to and graduated from obedience school. There is no dean’s list for dicks. There’s only a dick list and most men at some point during their lives rank magna cum lousy.
What the fuck ever. Give me a break. I’m getting ready to give it to you straight.
Whether he lies through his teeth or bites you in the ass, ladies, my point is he’s still got the same teeth. Men have misused countless women in numerous ways and all of sudden they care enough to write a book?
The same men who couldn’t count their one-night stands on both hands and feet because they’ve eaten all the coochie out of countless cookie jars are telling women to keep your legs closed for three months. A man who repeatedly fucks women, comes inside of women, shows up at a woman’s front (and perhaps back) door at two in the morning feels the woman is not worthy of being his wife. In fact, she’s at the bottom of his list but he doesn’t have the balls to tell her the truth because he loves putting the pussy on pause just in case he’s not done satisfying his dick.
I’m here to tell you ladies that women rule. Dicks are dumb. How dumb are they? You can start in the gutter and work your way up to the top of any corporation. Think about the CEOs, NFL and NBA players, OB/GYNs who give more than a checkup, or the men in the pen. Every ethnicity on earth has a generational list of DaDs. In this case DaD stands for “dumb-ass dicks.” We can flip it, ladies.
Keep reading this book, a book written by a woman who understands men.
If you’re looking for a smart dick, zero in on his heart, ladies. A dumb dick is easy to spot because it hides behind a set of balls.
The smart man is thoughtful and he’s considerate . . . of you. He actually respects a woman before he beds her and he wants to talk to her the next day and the days after.
A dumb dick cums every single chance it gets. A hole is a hole is a hole even if it’s an asshole.
Ladies, it’s up to you to interview the dick and administer an oral exam. It’s not the kind of lip service the dumb dick is hoping for. The smart one will understand your concerns.
Training a dick is like learning to speak a foreign language. It will not happen overnight. First, you must be able to identify what kind of dick you have. I’m not going to lie; it’s hard but I’m going to help you.
You’ll have to do a background check on his dick to find out where it’s been, what it’s been up and into. You need to know what his dick has accomplished in its lifetime.
Then, you’ll have to think ahead of the dick. You’ll have to develop a teach-him-a-lesson plan. You’ll have to know what the dick is thinking before the dick knows what it’s thinking. This part isn’t as hard as it seems.
Dicks do not roll over and do what you want them to simply because you yell, cry, and say so. Training will require the greatest degree of patience and persistence.
Last, you’ll have to administer a pass-or-fail test. If he’s close, you decide if you want to grade based on his curve. If he fails, do not change his score. Let the dumb-ass dick go.
It’s time for women to exercise their female power and stop shrinking. No more being brainwashed by dicks that try to rule you.
When you think about it, ladies . . . dicks like brain; they do not have one. They’re incapable of processing information. They don’t remember shit. So exactly how are you going to conquer this arduous task? Definitely not by thinking like a man.
If You Don't Know Me Page 25