"Hmm." The sound was a deep, contemplative rumble in his chest.
I risked stealing a glance at him and had to stifle a gasp when I accidentally locked gazes with him.
"You're right." He held my gaze and the dark, unwavering intensity in his eyes made my insides squirm. "I don't think I would have made that particular analogy, but I can see where you're coming from with it. Something has been bothering me, and I wanted to talk to you about it."
A tingle of adrenaline shot down my spine. My legs felt numb and heavy. My heart pounded and my mouth went sandpaper dry.
It took me a moment to pry my tongue loose from the roof of my mouth. "What is it?"
Please don't let it be what I think it is.
I looked back down at the file, trying to hide my nonsensical, blind panic.
"What we talked about the other day…" He started, but his voice faltered. He cleared his throat again.
I pressed my lips together to keep them from visibly trembling before I took a deep breath.
"I'd really rather not revisit those memories again so soon, Ray." My voice came out strained and hoarse.
He flexed his fingers, as if exercising an insane amount of control in that one tiny motion.
"I know, and I'm sorry to do it, but I really can't just let something like that go. You said that I should ask my friends why you don't want anything to do with me, but just because I was on the same football team with those guys, it doesn't necessarily mean they were my friends, Rox. I just really need to know who it was so we can clear the air completely."
His voice shook with a potent mixture of earnestness and desperation, and I swallowed hard, shaking my head.
"When are you going to learn to stop asking questions you don't actually want to know the answer to?" My heart rate tripled even as the words spilled out of my mouth and I tossed the file onto his desk. Before I knew what I was doing, I ducked around him and sprinted out to the lobby, fully giving in to the urge to escape the conversation.
I was already sinking into my chair when Ray's fingers closed around my wrist, gentle but firm, and I stifled a surprised yelp at the unexpected contact. With his other hand, he gripped the aging leather of my chair's backrest and stared down at me. "I have to know, Roxanne."
The pad of his thumb stroked over the skin of my wrist, but the motion stuttered when his searching touch found my scar. They might be hidden to the eye by Granny’s glamour spell, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t feel it.
"Don't," I said, trying to snatch my arm out of his grip, but he didn’t let go. He blindly traced the line all the way up to my elbow and back down. and I shuddered.
"I need to know who tormented you badly enough to make you do something like that to yourself. Even though I can't see the scars physically, I can't let go until I find out who's responsible for driving you to that point."
"Why?" My voice cracked and I pulled free. I hugged my arms tight around my own torso, as if that might stop the walls of the office from closing in around me. “Why the hell does it matter now?”
All the color drained out of his face and he blinked rapidly, as if he was stunned. "Why the hell would it not matter, Roxanne? You tried to kill yourself because of what he did to you. He deserves to have to face that, to live with that knowledge and pay some kind of penance for it."
I laughed, brittle and bitter, shaking my head at him. "It's naive of you to assume he'll even be sorry. It happened a long time ago, and he hasn’t bothered me since then. Can't you just let it go?"
My heart squeezed painfully and then sank as Ray shook his head.
"I think we both know I can't do that, Roxanne. Just tell me who it was, and I'll find a way to make him pay for what he did."
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard I tasted blood. I took a deep breath. "If I tell you who it was, you have to promise you won't be angry with me for telling you the truth. Remember I warned you that you didn't want to know, and this is your choice."
"Deal." He took my hand and shook it to seal the promise.
My chest squeezed until it was hard to breathe as I worked up the courage to say it out loud. "It was Collin Tyrell."
Ray's eyes almost bulged out of his head and he dropped my hand like a hot iron. "What did you just say?"
My whole body trembled, but I held his gaze as hot tears trickled down my cheeks. "You heard me."
"No." Ray's nostrils flared and his lips compressed into a barely-visible line. "There has to be some kind of mistake, or a misunderstanding."
I squared my shoulders and glared at him, standing in an attempt to feel less trapped. "I told you, Ray. You didn't want to know the truth, not when it means your best buddy isn't the kind of guy you always took him for." I jabbed an accusatory finger at him. "So don't you dare get angry at me because you brought this on yourself."
My heartbeat throbbed furiously in my temples, and I refused to be the first one to blink.
Ray's gaze went unfocused and he shoved his hands through his hair as he straightened up and put a couple of paces of space between us. He opened his mouth to speak several times, but nothing came out. Finally, he shook his head. "You have to be mistaken. I still have beers with the guy once a week. You heard Cyrus when we were at the condo. The check Collin wrote for the damages at my place was for several thousand dollars, minimum. He didn’t have to do that. He also didn’t have to give me clothes and shoes when all my stuff burned. I would have known if my best friend was secretly some kind of scumbag piece of shit. Maybe you misread the signals or something, I don't know, but I'll prove to you that it's all just a big misunderstanding."
I crossed my arms and ground my teeth so hard I thought they were going to break as I waited out his desperate rambling.
"Oh, really?" I hissed, closing the distance between us. I tilted my head back and glowered up at him, my lip curled with disgust. "And how do you plan to do that?"
"I…" Ray stared down at his palms, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps. "I'll have him come here for lunch, and I'll ask him about it."
I threw my head back and laughed. "And you really think he's just going to proudly admit what he did because you're his best friend? That's literally the stupidest idea I've ever heard, Ray.".
Ray squared his shoulders, straightening up to his full height. "If I play my cards right and he really did it, then he just might admit it if he thinks I don't have any interest in your side of the story."
An uneasy, sick feeling wormed its way into my gut and I shivered. "And how are you going to make him think that when we've been working together for a few weeks now and you're living at my house?"
Ray blew out a noisy breath and crossed his arms. "If he's really the kind of guy you seem to think he is, then it won't be hard to manipulate him into revealing something if I pretend the only reason I'm helping you is that I'm trying to get into your pants."
I recoiled, putting the width of my desk between us. "That's disgusting." I shuddered and couldn't resist the urge to rub my arms, as if wiping something slimy off my body.
But if Ray’s plan works, he’ll have to face that he was wrong about me back in the day. It would also prove that I’m not the slut everyone wanted to make me out to be. Maybe, if he really meant what he said earlier, he’ll find a way to force Collin to make things right.
After a moment to think about it, I planted my palms on the top of my desk and stared at Ray. "But if that's what it takes to prove I'm not lying to you about your shady-ass friend, go right ahead. Just do me a favor and record the conversation while you're at it. If you actually manage to get the truth out of him, evidence might come in handy."
“Evidence? For what?” Ray sighed.
“Vindication, for a start.” I crossed my arms. “More than that, I fully intend to hold you to your promise to force him to make things right.”
I jumped at every sound in the office as the minutes ticked on from breakfast toward lunch, checking my phone every few seconds with the increasing sense th
at I was waiting for my own execution. I clicked my pen furiously.
I should go the hell home and let Ray handle confronting Collin alone.
Ray's office door swung open and he stuck his head out into the lobby. I fumbled at the distraction and dropped the file I'd been scanning for dates.
A chill settled over me as he cleared his throat. "Collin is on his way over."
A tight fist of nausea gripped my throat and I clapped a hand over my mouth, spinning my chair around and lurching out of it in an undignified rush. I jerked the hall door open and bolted to the bathroom.
Please just let me make it to the toilet before I vomit.
I doubled over, clutching my stomach as I heaved and emptied the remnants of my doughnut breakfast into the toilet bowl. I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand froze, realizing Ray was hovering in the open doorway of the bathroom, wringing his hands. My face burned hotter with every sluggish beat of my heart and I groaned.
"You don't have to stay here while I talk to him if you don't want to," Ray mumbled at the floor.
I flushed the toilet and shivered as the clamminess from my cold, panicked sweat clung to my skin, soaking in the building's air conditioning. "No. I want to hear for myself what he has to say about me when he thinks you’re on his side and I’m not around to defend myself."
Ray lifted a hand in a waffling gesture, then let it fall back to his side. He looked everywhere except at me. "Why does it feel like you're torturing yourself because I'm giving my best friend the benefit of the doubt?"
I cocked an eyebrow at him. Rather than answering, I stepped over to the sink, turned on the faucet, and started rinsing the acrid post-vomit burning sensation out of my mouth. Surely I don't have to be the one to point out that it wasn't my idea to push the issue. I dragged my gaze up to assess my reflection in the mirror.
Shadow sulked almost out of my line of vision and stayed uncharacteristically quiet, given the upsetting circumstances. I wonder what’s keeping her so quiet? Hope flared through me. The distant sound of knocking on the lobby door snuffed it out and I shrank back, pressing myself into the farthest corner of the bathroom.
Ray took a half-step toward me but stopped when I made a strangled, feral sound in the back of my throat.
"Just go," I hissed. "Do whatever you need to do and just get it over with."
His shoulders drooped, matching the way the corners of his mouth tugged down into a wounded frown. He turned and started down the hall as another barrage of knocks sounded, and then scurried back to the bathroom. "The supply closet might be a better place to hide, in case Collin needs to use the facilities while he's here."
Without a word, I brushed past Ray, pointedly ignoring the way his gaze lingered on my face, and sprinted the short distance down the hall to the supply closet door. The one thing I needed most in the world was a quiet, safe space to hide away until Collin was gone. I pulled the string to turn on the single, dull bulb and pulled the door shut behind me, wishing I could lock it from the inside.
We can never feel safe in the same building as him. Shadow's voice was faint, as if coming from miles away, but it echoed the wretched horror I felt knowing that, at any moment, Collin Tyrell might accidentally open the wrong door while searching for the bathroom and see me cowering between the rows of loaded shelves on the other side like an abused, trapped animal.
Hysterical laughter bubbled up my throat and I pressed both my hands over my mouth to stifle the sound.
Their voices echoed up the hall. My heart rate skyrocketed and my knees buckled as the sound of voices intensified. I scrambled away from the closet door, searching wildly for somewhere to hide. The farther I moved into the depths of the closet, the louder the voices seemed to get. The pull-string for the overhead light brushed my cheek and I could have choked to death on the scream I swallowed. I gripped the string and pulled, plunging the closet into darkness. Cloudy shapes and something like TV static swirled in my field of vision as my eyes struggled to adjust to the pitch-black state of the room.
My whole body quaked uncontrollably, and I laced my fingers on top of my head, squeezing my cheeks between my forearms as I tried and failed to force myself to stay calm and still. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sight of a few faint strips of light in my peripheral vision and turned to face it. I shuffled toward it and hit my shin on a solid, unmoving corner of metal shelving. Grinding my teeth, I mouthed a string of swear words that would make even my pirate ancestor blush.
I crouched down and clutched my throbbing shin, breathing hard through flared nostrils before I started crawling toward the splash of light on the floor. Finally, as I inched my way toward it, I realized the weak slits of light were shining through an air return vent low in the wall between the closet and Ray’s office
My throat constricted and I rubbed at it for a moment, trying to make it easier to swallow.
I don't want to hear this.
Despite my internal protest and my stomach roiling with nausea all over again, my body kept inching forward like the return vent was magnetic and I was helpless to resist. I sat down with my back pressed against the wall and my head tilted so my ear hovered right next to the vent.
"So tell me something, man." Ray's voice reverberated through the short duct so loud it made me jump. I clamped both hands over my mouth and shook my head as bile rose in the back of my throat. "How did you manage to score with Roxanne Cole back in high school?"
I flinched away from the vent at the sound of Collin's harsh bark of laughter, pulling my knees up and hugging them to my chest.
"That high-and-mighty cunt?" Collin's laughter changed, taking on a superior, arrogant edge. I heard a sharp intake of breath that must have been Ray, but he didn't actually say anything. "Don't tell me you've gone and gotten a jones for the frigid bitch of the South." He snorted, sounding just as much like an entitled douchebag as he used to in high school.
"Frigid, huh?" Ray's voice was light, sounding so much like a curious but detached "bro" type that I shuddered.
Have I been misjudging him this whole time?
"If I remember correctly, you showed me some pictures of her senior year, and she looked pretty much the opposite of frigid from what I could see," Ray continued.
Collin's braying guffaw echoed through the vent and I gagged with disgust, biting my lip mercilessly to keep from making a sound.
"Best prank I ever pulled, man. I never actually touched the bitch."
"Prank? How were those pictures a prank? They looked crazy real." Ray's voice was still carefully neutral. My heart squeezed, skipping several beats as I sat there, suspended halfway between abject horror and anticipation.
Am I finally going to get to hear the truth about what happened at that party in senior year?
I barely managed to breathe as I waited for Collin to speak again.
"I can't really claim all the credit because Blair was the true mastermind behind the whole thing. We used the major crush she had on you at the time to lure her to a party with the rest of us mere mortals, right?”
I cringed at my secret being revealed with such thoughtless nonchalance and my cheeks burned with shame.
Ray cleared his throat. “Hang on…Roxanne had a crush on me when we were in high school?” His voice was breathy with disbelief, but Collin didn’t seem to notice and pressed on like that was the least noteworthy thing he had to say.
“I bought some GHB off that narcoleptic freshman who was desperate to be friends with us, what's-his-name. We spiked a drink with it and Blair talked that dumb little sweetheart Aimee into offering the drink to Roxanne because she looked so out-of-place, and ‘wouldn't it be nice to give the librarian's granddaughter a warm welcome at her first-ever party.’ Aimee bought it, of course, and had no idea she was delivering a dosed drink to that prideful little bitch." He sniggered like drugging me was no big deal.
I pressed my hands over my ears, rocking back and forth in place as hot tears blurred the stripes of light on the floor in
to a shapeless, watery glow. My whole body shook with the force it took to hold in the sobs that were desperate to break free.
Just keep a lid on it together long enough for Collin to leave. Never, ever let that motherfucker hear you cry. If he witnesses the pain, he wins, and we can't let him win.
My hands over my ears did little to drown out the arrogant, bragging drone of his voice.
"All we had to do was wait for the GHB to hit her. When it did, she was practically a barely conscious ragdoll. Blair and I pretended to help her to a room to sleep it off, but not without getting the kind of pictures we needed to teach Roxanne her place in the food chain first. Honestly, it was the perfect revenge." I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.
"Revenge for what? Ray snorted. "What could she have possibly done to deserve that?"
There was a long, uncomfortable silence. "Blair really didn't like that Roxanne tried to steal you out from under her with that stupid secret admirer nonsense."
A hot wave of mortification stained my cheeks as seven years' worth of puzzle pieces started falling into place.
"Secret admirer? What the hell are you even talking about?" Ray's voice was genuinely befuddled, and my stomach flip-flopped with another wave of uncertainty.
"Blair found a note from a secret admirer in your locker on the first day of our senior year while we were at football practice. She was pissed but had no way of knowing who did it, so she tore it up and trashed it thinking that would be the end of it and leaving you none the wiser."
"And what about you? Why would my best friend agree to help Blair with such an insane vendetta...unless there was something in it for you, too?"
For every second that ticked by in silence, the energy on the other side of the vent grew ever more tense until it felt like the whole building would shatter at the slightest sound. A wild, irrational image of the two of them squaring off in a dusty street for an old-West style gun duel popped into my mind. The whole idea of it caught me so off-guard that I almost giggled out loud. I pressed my hands over my mouth, my whole body wracked with a mixture of silent sobs and barely contained maniacal laughter.
Coven of Lies (The Bayshore Witch Legacy Book 2) Page 7