Standing toe-to-toe with Ray, I craned my neck, trying to get a good look around so I could assess if the students could see us or not. That's when I spotted Ray—-high school Ray—slouched at a nearby table, aimlessly flipping through a textbook.
"Oh, no," I groaned, shaking my head.
"What?" Ray's mouth tugged into a frown as he stared down at me.
I cringed and scrubbed my hand down my face, trying to wipe away the humiliation I could feel coming. "I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think we're both getting a front-row seat view to the exact reason I was holding back, even though I haven't consciously thought about this moment in years."
"Moment?" Ray's eyebrows shot up, and his mouth formed a small, surprised 'o' as he did a slow turn. He looked around the room once before facing me again. "So…what? This is one of your memories? How are we even seeing this? I thought your powers were suppressed by Misty's charm?"
"They are." I gave a firm nod. "And now the fact that Mr. Graves claimed neither of us is human is starting to make a lot more sense. When Logan suggested that your fixation on the truth might be because there's a chance you're descended from the Aletheian Sentinels, I didn't think anything else of it." I paused and chewed on my bottom lip, lost in my whirlwind realization.
"Whoa, now. Pump the brakes a second." Ray gripped my shoulders and gave me another one of his soul-stripping stares. "Are you saying I did this, somehow?"
I swallowed but lifted my chin as I met his gaze with confidence. "That's exactly what I'm telling you."
"But...but how?" Ray stammered and rubbed at his temples like he was starting to get a headache.
I opened my mouth to answer, but no coherent words came out. Instead, I made a strangled noise as I saw myself enter the library. Ray turned, too, and gasped when he saw me as I was back then, nervously clutching a binder to my chest and darting pathetic, hopeful glances at past Ray’s table. The past me checked the note spread open on top of my binder and moved to the poetry section, right next to where past Ray slouched over his textbook.
Shuddering at the strange sensation of observing our past selves so closely, I pressed a hand over my mouth, wishing I could make the memory go away. Unfortunately, I had a feeling it wasn't going to stop until Ray got to witness the awkward truth for himself.
Curious, I crept a little closer to the table where past Ray sat, peeking down at what he was reading that day. I was surprised to discover it wasn't one of the assigned readings and arched an eyebrow at present Ray. "’Rappaccini's Daughter?’ Were you doing an extra credit assignment or something?"
"No." Present Ray did a palms-up gesture, his eyes momentarily fixed on me, instead of my past self. "I just like the story. It's not Hemingway, but I feel like ‘Rappaccini's Daughter’ is wildly underrated. I've always liked it better than anything else Hawthorne ever wrote."
I glanced back and forth between past and present Ray in unabashed, open-mouthed surprise, but was distracted by high-school Collin strolling up to past Ray's table with a smug, triumphant smirk. I could see my past self still shuffling through the books in the poetry section, looking for a note I realized in retrospect I'd never find. Collin had set the whole disaster up. Everything was a trap, from the note that led my past self to the section of the library Ray usually sat in, to the horror that was about to play out.
My skin crawled and I recoiled, not wanting to witness the perfectly engineered train wreck that was coming. Though I tried, I couldn’t look away from the memory playing out before us. Collin flopped down across from past Ray and flipped his book shut, which earned him an annoyed scowl. The gloating bastard shrugged Ray's annoyance off with ease.
"What brings you to the library?" Ray looked down at his book and riffled through the pages, trying to find his lost spot.
"You know only the absolute juiciest news could drag me into this tomb," Collin whispered, leaning toward Ray with keen eyes and a predatory smile. "I know you've been thinking about breaking things off with Blair because Roxanne Cole caught your eye, and as your friend, I don't want you to make any rash decisions without being fully informed first."
My stomach roiled with nausea because of what I knew was coming, but my breath caught. My past self never got to hear the part where I had caught Ray's eye seven years ago.
I edged closer, wondering what else my past self missed that day before I heard exactly what Collin planned for me to hear. Present Ray was pale and silent beside me, his jaw set hard and fists clenched at his side as we watched our past play out in real-time before our eyes.
I saw my past self blow out a frustrated sigh, sifting through the books one more time in a last-ditch effort to find the promised note among the dusty volumes. Now, in retrospect, I could see Collin's eyes on me, watching for the perfect moment to pounce. Present Ray's gaze focused on the memory of me, who was huffing out a deep sigh and shaking her head, turning away from the books.
Past and present Ray tensed in unison. Collin eyeballed me for a long moment before pulling his phone out of his back pocket.
"I think you should know what kind of girl she really is." His smirk broadened as he turned the screen, lit up with a lewd and half-naked picture of me, to face Ray.
Past Ray froze, his face going beet-red. His nostrils flared and he balled his hands into tight fists as Collin flicked through picture after humiliating picture that I had absolutely no memory of taking. "Apparently, all it takes to turn the librarian's perfect granddaughter into something out of a softcore porno is just one drink." Collin's smile made me want to vomit.
I could feel rage boiling off present Ray in waves as he stared at the exchange, then at the memory of me moving to walk past his table at the exact wrong moment. Past Ray slammed his book closed and shot to his feet, sending his chair flying back and cutting off my escape route. I watched myself stumble and pause just as Ray growled out the last words I ever wanted to relive hearing from him.
"Thanks for warning me, man, but if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not see any more pictures of your little secret slut."
The moment Past Ray spoke those fateful words, the cold, rushing vertigo sensation returned. I squeezed my eyes shut and struggled to catch my breath, feeling like a bird sucked into an icy tornado. The vertigo stopped just as suddenly as it started, and I sagged against the house's vinyl siding as Ray scrambled away from me.
I shivered and hugged my arms tight against my torso, hating how much I missed his body heat and terrified by how deeply I craved it, even after reliving that memory.
"Well...I guess that answers your question. Maybe some part of me is still afraid that giving in to my attraction to you is somehow going to give those old rumors credence? Logically, I know it seems strange. Still, when you consider how traumatic senior year was for me as a whole, it makes sense as an unconscious trauma response." I said.
He shook his head, scrubbing a hand over his face with a humorless laugh. "I can't believe I'm being cock-blocked by my stupid-ass, pig-headed teenaged self."
I laughed, too, but flinched at how harsh and brittle it sounded. I wanted to find the humor in the situation, but the residual humiliation was still too fresh.
Ray stood there, pressing a white-knuckled fist against the distressed, grim line of his lips. "Shit...I'm so sorry, Roxanne." His voice cracked and he sank down on the bench across from me, cradling his head in his hands. His shoulders shuddered as he took a deep, ragged breath. Tears splashed on the dry, age-distressed deck boards, leaving a pattern of dark splotches on the wood between his feet. "I know nothing I can say will ever fix what I said that day, but I'm begging you...let me explain."
"Explain what?" I chewed on my bottom lip, not meeting his gaze.
He stood and started toward me. My hand flew up to clutch the cameo pendant, and he paused. Instead, he turned and padded to the grill and lifted the lid. I was surprised to see our steaks were unburned when he turned them.
"Hang on." I grabbed the platter. "I'll get clean plates."
I hurried inside, dropping the dirty platter in the sink. With shaking hands, I pulled a pair of dishes out of the pantry and walked them out to the grill.
"I want you to understand I'm not trying to make excuses for what I said and did back then." His voice was such a quiet rumble that I had to move closer to hear it properly. "I just want you to know where it was coming from."
I crossed my arms and stared down at my feet for a long moment before nodding for him to continue.
"I'd had a major crush on you ever since the end of eighth grade...such a big crush, in fact, that once we were in high school, I spent the majority of my lunch and break periods in the library, just hoping to catch a glimpse of you when you visited your Granny or ran errands for her."
My head snapped up and I narrowed my eyes at him. "If you had such a big crush on me, why didn't you say something? As far as I could tell, you didn't even know I was on the planet."
His face reddened and he reached up to rub the back of his neck. "I was painfully shy. The only girls I dated in high school were the ones who approached me first."
"And, apparently, the only time I worked up the nerve to approach you as a secret admirer, that little admission was intercepted, after which I was mercilessly punished for daring to be interested in you." I shook my head at the futility of it.
He fidgeted with the steaks, taking special care to create a latticed pattern with the grill marks. He took his off the fire, but kept tending mine. Finally, he cleared his throat and continued. "When I saw that Collin had those kinds of pictures of you...I was crazy jealous. I tried to convince myself that he didn't actually have anything to do with taking them because I didn't want to think about my best friend being the one to see you that way. I damn sure didn't want to think about it maybe being his hands on you...or worse." His voice faltered.
My mouth went dry and I cleared my throat. "Does knowing the truth about what he did to me to get those pictures help?"
"Even then, I should have known...should have questioned it. I'm so sorry I didn't." He shook his head and plated my steak without another word. We took the food and what remained of our hard ciders to the kitchen table.
"I get where you were coming from, you know." I sighed, keeping my focus on cutting my steak.
"Does that make it any better?" His voice trembled.
I popped in a bite of steak.
"I don't know...maybe," I murmured in between chewing.
Frenzied rapping sounded at the front door and we frowned at each other.
"Were you expecting somebody?" Ray wiped his mouth with a napkin and slid a sideways glance at the door.
I shook my head. "Were you?"
"No." He pushed back from the table and strode toward the door.
I followed close behind him, squinting at the unfamiliar shape on the other side of the gauzy curtain.
"Who is it?" I started to step around him and reach for the door handle, but he caught my wrist and shook his head.
"It's…" There was a long, uncertain pause. "You know...I don't actually know."
Ray frowned and motioned for me to stay still and quiet. My brows pinched together and I blinked several times, a little puzzled until I saw he was grabbing my laptop off the sideboard. He flipped it open as he crossed the dining room in two purposeful strides, and then turned it to face me so I could enter my password.
Once I did, he set it down on the table amid another flurry of knocking and pulled up the live security feed from the cameras outside. My mouth fell open as I stared at the screen, hardly able to believe what I was seeing.
Nell Ballard, the missing Bayshore Coven elder, stood on my deck, covered head to toe in dirt, grass, and twigs, looking like she just crawled out of a shallow grave.
"What the hell?" Ray muttered, scratching his head.
I planted my hands on my hips and squinted at the screen. "I honestly have no idea, but I think we should try to find out."
"We should probably call James." Ray pulled out his cell phone and I held up a hand, shaking my head.
"We should call Misty first, in case magic has something to do with how confused Nell is."
Ray scowled, a hard, stubborn set to his jaw. "How about we call them both, in case there's some kind of physical evidence or other clues on her that might be time-sensitive?"
"Fine. You call your people and I'll call mine." I strode over to the door and unlocked it. "I just hope James isn't as freaked out by witches as some people around here seem to be, in case Misty feels Nell needs some magical treatment while he’s here."
"James is a genuinely fair, level-headed guy. He's not going to attack anybody for their beliefs, or for being different." Ray joined me at the door and I tugged it open.
I thought I was prepared for how filthy and disheveled Nell was, but it was a whole different level face-to-face. I sucked in a startled gasp, noting that she had a swollen, crusty cut along her cheekbone.
"What happened, Nell?"
She shook her head, her glacial blue eyes wild and frightened. "I don't know."
Tears welled and slid down her cheeks in muddy streaks. I started to reach for her, but she flinched and stepped back.
"Why don't you come inside and sit down?" I coaxed.
Nell looked down at herself and shook her head with a fierce frown. "I can't go inside—I'm filthy."
"All right. Why don't you have a seat out here, on the deck, and I'll get you a nice, cold glass of water?" I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started a group text with Misty and Darlene, tapping out a message to tell them about the situation as I talked. When I turned to step around Ray, who was hovering behind me in the open doorway, and go get her a glass of water, Nell's hand shot out to grip my wrist.
"Don't worry about the water." The urgency in her grip made me turn back around. I was confused until I saw her anxious gaze fixed on Ray. He was standing so close behind me his body heat made my skin prickle.
She doesn't want to be left alone with a man she doesn't know. A slimy, uneasy feeling slithered over my skin. Nell hates my guts. Coming to me for help...trusting me over someone else? It doesn't make sense.
I reached out a hand and laid it on Nell’s forearm. "How about I sit with you out here while my friend Ray gets you that glass of water?"
Nell pursed her lips, looking him over from head to toe. There was a momentary flash of the sour, critical Nell I knew, but it didn't last. "I guess that would be all right."
"Good." I breathed a sigh of relief as she grasped my arm and allowed me to help her to the bench. She groaned and winced as she eased down on the weathered wood and I took a deep breath.
"Ray is helping me investigate why witches are going missing," I explained, unable to make myself tell her that Olivia was dead. "A detective I trust is on his way here. He's going to take a look at you, okay?"
Nell frowned and hugged her arms around her torso. "Why?"
Her voice was so small, she sounded like a terrified child.
"We're hoping he can find a clue or some evidence that can possibly tell us what happened to you and where you've been while you were missing." I reached over and patted her hand.
"I was missing?" Nell's lip trembled and tears leaked down her cheeks again. She clutched my hand like a lifeline and I did my best to stifle my startled gasp.
If she was in her right mind, I'd be the last person she turned to for comfort.
I stared down at our joined hands. Her usually perfect manicure was chipped and ragged, a chilling tableau of brokenness and filth. "Yes, ma'am. You disappeared off the face of the earth a week and a half ago, not long after Kat went missing."
Wheels crunched on the gravel in my driveway and we both turned. I didn't recognize the car, but I breathed a little sigh of relief when Detective Stapleton climbed out of it.
Ray joined us and set Nell's glass of water down on the bench beside her. "You might want to wait to drink that until after James examines you, just in case."
We all winced at the im
plications.
Detective Stapleton’s footfalls on the stairs were purposeful, and his steps as he crossed the deck carefully measured. He set an oversized briefcase down and crouched in front of Nell, making himself small and non-threatening.
"Hi, there." His voice was astonishingly gentle and warm. "I'm Detective Stapleton, but you can call me James. Do you mind if I take a look at you real quick?"
Nell gave a halfhearted nod and released my hand as James opened the briefcase and pulled out a camera. I sidled over to Ray, who was standing several feet away. The detective spoke in low, soothing tones that didn't carry, but I guessed he was explaining what he was doing. The longer he talked and worked, the more at ease Nell seemed with him.
I nudged Ray with my shoulder and looked up at him through the fringe of my eyelashes. "He’s really good with people."
"Yeah." Ray nodded slightly, his eyes shining with genuine fondness. "He's got nine siblings, so he kind of had no choice when it comes to being good with people."
"Holy crap!" The words came out a little louder than I intended, and I clapped my hand over my mouth when the detective glanced over at us. My cheeks burned, and I cleared my throat. "That's a big family. I'm glad he's handling Nell so gently, though."
Ray gazed down at me, his expression carefully neutral. "Before today, I’ve never seen Nell be anything but hateful to you. I’m…impressed by your level of concern for her, considering how mean and belittling she’s been to you."
“I’m not a petty-ass teenage drama queen.” I stifled a snort. "I don't like seeing her this scared, or hurt...or worse. She might be an ornery old heifer most of the time, but that heifer's still one of my own."
“Fair.” Ray nodded. We turned our gazes back to Nell.
As I surveyed her, my mind drifted back to the unclear vision I had in the morgue, and the burning sensation that went along with it. An uneasy sensation skittered down my spine and nausea slithered through my gut. I leaned over to Ray. “Ask James to check Nell for burn marks.”
Ray recoiled, frowning at my request. “What on Earth? Why?”
Coven of Lies (The Bayshore Witch Legacy Book 2) Page 11