By the time I was clean, the numbness was beginning to seep out of my soul. The hot water, Shade’s gentle hands . . . the feeling of being home, helped to cushion the pain. My body ached. I was hungry and tired but ready to face whatever came.
“I guess . . . food next. And then, we see how Sharah is doing. And then . . . to sleep?” I looked at my lover.
Shade held out the towel. “It will get worse, Delilah. It will get far worse before it gets better. But we have an advantage. We have something to lose. And you always fight harder when you’ve got someone to protect, or something to lose.”
And with that, I toweled off, brushed my hair, dressed in my sweats, and we headed down to the kitchen to regroup, take stock, and figure out what the hell we were going to do after that.
* * *
Menolly was anxiously waiting to launch herself at me when I entered the room. In an uncharacteristic move, she slammed into me for a hug, then—to my startlement—leaned up to plant a quick kiss on my cheek. It was over before I could say a word, but that she had been able to bring herself to show physical affection to someone other than a lover spoke volumes.
Camille was already at the table, tucked into a silk robe, and she cradled a cup of tea between her hands. A plate of cookies in front of her remained untouched, but she had a hamburger on her plate, and it looked like Morio had gotten her to eat a few bites.
The kitchen felt eerily devoid of life. Without Iris around, and without Smoky, Trillian, and Roz, the noise level was at a bearable level and everything felt too calm.
Hanna put a burger in front of me, and a big glass of milk. “Get your sister to eat,” she said. “She needs her dinner.”
I toyed with my food, not that hungry either. But we both needed to get something in us, so I motioned to Camille. “She’s right.” As I lifted my hamburger to my lips, I paused and looked at Menolly. “Do you know everything? Well . . . you can’t know what we went through, but you know Queen Asteria is dead?”
Menolly nodded. “Yeah, I know she’s gone.” After a moment, she continued. “Nerissa is down at the station with Chase. Sharah went into labor as she came out of the Ionyc Sea. Smoky did the best he could but it’s not the same as going through a portal. It really hit her hard.”
“Is the baby okay?” I sat up, alarmed.
“We don’t know, but the fetal heartbeat is strong. I last talked to them about twenty minutes ago and she’s dilated six centimeters so it’s going to be a while yet. She’s narrow-
hipped and Mallen said that may be an issue, but so far, so good. Nerissa is keeping Chase occupied.”
Relieved that at least one thing was going right, I nodded. “After everything we’ve experienced, I have to say I was scared to even ask.”
“I can’t imagine what it was like where you were.” Menolly played with a bottle of blood, taking care to wipe her mouth as she drank her dinner. She was fastidious, and often complained about vampires with messy habits.
Camille let out a sharp breath. “We’re all at the ‘can’t imagine’ stage, I think. We saw things last night that I never want to see again, but I have the horrible feeling that we haven’t seen the last. If that’s what war is like, then we have to fucking make sure they don’t break through the portals.” After a moment, she looked at me. “Shade’s heard, but the others . . .” She looked at Menolly. “You may know some of what went down, but unless you were there, you really can’t imagine.”
So, once again, we told our story. I was tired of telling it, the images were too fresh in my mind. And I could see, by Camille’s expression, they were haunting her as well.
Menolly’s jaw dropped as we told her about the storm, and what it had been like. Vanzir’s face remained expressionless but he leaned forward, pushing his beer out of the way. Lately, he’d gotten into drinking microbrews, and while the alcohol didn’t affect him, he liked the taste.
“I’m going to tell you girls something and I want you to listen.” His eyes whirled, kaleidoscopes in the dim light of the kitchen. “War is war. War happens and has always happened, and will always happen. As long as there are men, as long as there are demons, as long as there are gods and dragons and the Fae, as long as there is greed and anger, hatred and desire, lust and passion, there will be war.”
He stood, hooking his thumbs in the rope belt holding up his low-cut jeans. “Only one thing that is a certainty: even in the most insane of times, you have to go on living your lives. You have to carry on your daily activities as much as you can, because if you don’t, the enemy wins. If you lose track of what makes your life important, then you give them the chance to fuck you over, upside down and sideways. You forfeit and they screw you.”
We stared at the dream-chaser demon. Vanzir had been soul-bound to us under a geas with a death threat, but that had been broken during an emergency that had set into motion a horrible chain of events, culminating in giving Hyto, Smoky’s psycho father, the chance to capture Camille and torture her. He’d chosen to remain with us, though, in the battle against the demons.
Camille was the first to speak. “He makes a good point. I guess that’s what we do, then. We can’t sit around here worrying. I can’t sit here 24/7 wondering if Smoky and Trillian will come out of this okay. Or if Telazhar will capture the Keraastar Knights. Until Trenyth contacts us again, we have to go on with life.”
I ducked my head. Vanzir was right, and so was Camille. Straightening my shoulders, I swallowed the desire to curl up in a ball and hide. “Then that’s what we’ll do. Menolly has a bar to rebuild. And we have to find out what happened to Violet, as well as mopping up whatever mess is going on over at the Farantino Building.” I paused, then opened my mouth. “It’s just . . . everything seems so mundane, so minute compared to what we just came through.”
Camille stared at her plate and listlessly picked up her hamburger. “Hanna’s right. We need food. You know, when Hyto kidnapped me, after everything that happened there, I wondered how I would ever go back to normal. I mean, I still have nightmares where he’s . . .”
A pause, then she continued. “Anyway, at first I wasn’t sure what to do, how to act. But by picking up the threads of my routine, by doing the things that life demands of us every day, I began to find my way back to myself. And I realized that there is no going back to normal. You create a new normal for yourself. It’s like coming off a path to a much bigger one, where there are more factors. But you learn how to navigate this one just like you learned how to navigate the one you were on.”
Menolly picked up her thread of thought. “True. We were at loose ends when we first found out about Shadow Wing. It felt like we were on a rock slide, going down fast. But we adapted. And now, we will adapt again. Hell, you think I didn’t have to face some of the most grueling adaptation of my life when Dredge turned me? When the OIA took me in and taught me how to regain control over myself? There was no shred of my old life left, I thought. But I was wrong—you two were there, and Father, even though I knew how he felt about vampires. But he was a link to the old world, and I used the three of you to merge the two paths so that I didn’t feel like an alien.”
Hanna bustled over. “You are all correct. I had to do this too—when Hyto captured me. I had to learn how to adapt to try to keep me and my son alive.” Her face fell; it was obvious she was thinking about Kjell. He’d been about fifteen when Hanna had been forced to kill him. Even though there had been no real choice, the fact that she’d poisoned her son to keep him from a worse fate still hung heavy on her conscience.
She placed her hand on Camille’s shoulder, and Camille gently took it and kissed it. The two had formed a bond, and Hanna had been instrumental in helping Camille escape before Hyto killed her. Together, they’d made their way down a frozen mountain high in the Northlands, hiding from the psychotic dragon who was bent on destroying his son and my sister.
Hanna kissed her gently on the top of her head, then motioned to the food. “Eat. You cannot fight these monsters i
f you are undernourished. Then, you must sleep. You two are exhausted, and also, Miss Menolly, dawn is near and you should be in your lair.” With a scolding cluck, she pushed the bowls of salad and fruit, and a plate of cookies toward us.
Camille and I ate, and my appetite flared. We wolfed down our food, once we got started. But halfway into the meal, I felt myself fading. Camille wearily put down the rest of her cookie.
I said it for both of us. “If we don’t get to bed, we’re going to keel over from exhaustion.”
She grunted. “I’m so tired I can’t even nod my head. It’s almost five in the morning and we’ve been to hell and back.”
Menolly kissed us both lightly on the forehead. “I will see you when I wake tonight.” She vanished down the stairs, shutting the heavy bookcase door behind her.
With Morio and Shade’s help, we made our way upstairs. Camille and Morio hived off to their rooms, and it seemed strange to see her only with the youkai. Her quartet was incomplete, and she looked fragile and shaken.
Shade and I finally reached the third floor.
“I didn’t think I was going to make it up that last set of steps. I can’t believe I ache so much.” Wearily, I dragged myself over to the bed and face-planted on it.
“How about I rub your back?” Shade tugged on my pajama top.
I let out a muffled grunt. “I’m too tired for sex.”
“I said rub your back, not fuck your pussy.” He laughed, low, and leaned down to land a kiss on my neck. “I love having sex with you, but woman if you think I’m going to push for a roll right now, when I know what you’ve been through, then you don’t think very highly of me.”
And so, he turned on soft music, and dimmed the lights, saying nothing, letting me decompress. As exhausted as I was, I couldn’t shut off the images in my brain, or the memories of facing Asteria. She’d been so beautiful and radiant, so insanely strong and dignified. It had been both an honor and a great heartbreak to be the one assigned to escort her through the veil. And then, there was the worry over Father. I didn’t want to let myself even go there, but I could feel the fear hanging like the proverbial sword over my head.
I’d thought myself cried out, but once again, tears trickled down my face; they were slow, and I didn’t bother wiping them away. I just let them absorb into the pillowcase, unwilling to deny them.
Shade tugged me out of my PJs and draped the sheet over my torso. He began with my feet, and I let out a little sigh as he worked the tension from my ankles, my toes, and up my calves. When he came to my back I was half asleep, but I could still feel his knuckles digging deep into the knots that had settled into my muscles.
And then he was rubbing my shoulders, stroking my skin, and I became aware that he was soothing my aura somehow, calming the stressed parts, feeding energy into the places where I was drained dry. I started to ask him a question, but found my tongue refusing to work, and I suddenly realized that I was in trance. Had he hypnotized me? Had he cast some sort of dragon or Stradolan magic on me? Whatever the case, I decided to give in and just go with it.
Another moment and I felt my breathing deepen, and then the blissful arms of Morpheus dragged me down and took me under in a wave so murky and frothing that there was no denial, no retreat. Only the blessed oblivion of darkness and sleep.
* * *
When I opened my eyes, it was close to noon. I wearily pushed myself to a sitting position. Shade was nowhere to be seen, and pale gray rain splattered in drops against the window. I slipped out from under the covers and shivered. The room was chilly, and I pulled a robe over my PJs and padded over to look outside. The sky shimmered, silver interspersed with thick black clouds. But this storm, it was natural, and I could feel the difference. It didn’t frighten me, this Seattle gloom. I pushed the window up to let the scent of rain-soaked cedar seep through the room as I quickly dressed. Olive-colored cargo pants, a V-neck sweater in mustard, and a wide brown leather belt, and a matching pair of brown leather boots finished the outfit. By the time I brushed my hair and teeth, I was starting to feel like I might make it through the afternoon in one piece, without having another meltdown.
As I headed down the stairs, Camille came out of her room. She was wearing a purple satin low-cut vintage dress and over it, a black waist cincher. A pair of black chunky-heeled granny boots paired nicely with the outfit, but one glance at her and I knew we’d both changed. There was a haunted look in her eyes that mirrored the way I felt.
We headed downstairs, saying little. Hanna met us at the foot of the stairs. “Sharah, she has had her baby. She’s asking that you come to the station as soon as possible. She says it’s very important. And Mr. Chase, he’s very upset. He’s waiting for you in the living room.”
Chase was here instead of by Sharah’s side? Fuck. What had happened now? Before we even thought of food, Camille and I turned toward the living room. There, we saw Chase pacing.
“What’s going on, dude? How are Sharah and the baby?” I slipped over to his side and gave him a quick hug, but it was obvious how tense he was—his back was stiff and he looked pissed out of his mind.
“I need your help! I can’t stop them, can I? They said I have no choice—and that she has no choice. Like fucking hell!” He was babbling.
Camille held up her hand. “Slow down and tell us what happened. Start at the beginning, and first things first: are Sharah and the baby all right?”
He stood there, clenching and unclenching his fists. “Sharah is all right—it was a hard labor, but she’s okay. And our daughter is fine.” He paused, and the look that crossed his face was priceless. But the next minute, it was replaced by a black cloud. “But that fucking Trenyth—I’d like to wring his neck.”
“What the hell happened?” And then, I knew—or at least I suspected. “She’s . . . they want her to return to Elqaneve, don’t they?”
“Like hell she’s going to. After what went down there yesterday?” He seemed to lose steam and dropped onto the sofa, hands on his knees as he stared ahead with a bleak look. “Trenyth came to the hospital this morning. He said she must return. She’s the only living heir and she has to take the throne.”
“Sharah is going to become Queen of Kelvashan? What about the baby? And you?” I had thought this might happen.
“They won’t let me come with her. And . . . they won’t let her bring the baby. They said that she’ll have to leave her with me, here. Because the Elfin Queen cannot have a half-breed child at the Court.” His voice was thick with rage and I thought he was about to burst a blood vessel. “Even though she’s a newborn, they’re intent on separating our family.”
“Fuck. The. Elves.” Camille whirled and marched toward the table. She grabbed her keys and purse. “We’ll grab lunch when we’re out. Meet you at headquarters, dude. And we’ll do everything we can to put a stop to this.”
Although I didn’t share her optimism, I followed her to the door, stopping long enough to snag a jacket and my backpack. Chase, a grateful look in his eyes, followed us out to his car. As he headed out of the driveway, Camille and I followed him.
“Fuck, we didn’t get a chance to check in on Iris,” she said, glaring at the rain. The water ran down in sheets, glazing the window as the wipers washed it to the side. “I can’t believe we didn’t stop in to say hi to her. She’s going to think we forgot all about her!” She slapped the steering wheel with one hand.
She sounded so upset that I knew she was triggering off last night. “Iris won’t think anything of the sort. You know Hanna will have told her about what’s happening—she’s a smart cookie.”
Camille let out a short sigh. “I know. I know. I’m just . . . this is so fucked. I know we have to focus on what’s going on here, on what we’ve promised to do, but all I can see is the heart of that storm. It was evil . . . purely maleficent, and the feeling—the energy of it got under my skin. I can’t shake it. Somehow, it hooked into my aura and I can feel it with me, around me, even though I know it’s not.”
There was nothing I could say to that. Instead, I stared at Chase’s car in front of us. “Did he say what they named their daughter?”
“I don’t think so. I think he was so upset he couldn’t think about anything except protecting Sharah. And what the fuck, anyway? Not letting Sharah take her baby with her? I guess I can see how they would forbid Sharah to bring Chase as her consort, though that’s going over like a lead balloon, I can imagine. But to abandon her child? What the hell is she supposed to do?”
“You tell me. Elqaneve . . . Kelvashan as a whole . . . they are steeped in antiquity. They are far more proper than the Fae, and they change only in slow, slow stages. I can’t imagine Trenyth being happy to deliver this news. Maybe we can talk some sense into him.”
The road sped by in a watery blur as the rain pounded down. Neither Camille nor I felt much like talking, though I did mention briefly to her that we might want to interview Violet’s boyfriend—Tanne Baum. She giggled then, and I couldn’t help but join her. Our mother had sung “O Tannebaum” to us over and over when we were little, and even though I knew it was juvenile, the thought of a grown man—one of the woodland Fae at that—being named after a Christmas tree seemed to spark off a much needed tension release.
As we came to the FH-CSI and pulled into the parking lot, Chase was already bounding up to the doors. We followed him through, for once hurrying to keep up with him. He slammed through the doors, then into the medic unit, with us hot on his heels. There, Mallen was arguing with Trenyth, while a group of guards kept watch. They saw Chase and stiffened into what I recognized as a battle stance.
I leaped forward, grabbing Chase by the arm and swinging him around. “Dude, if you engage them in this mood, they won’t think twice about taking you down, and if they take you down, all the Nectar of Life in the world won’t help you. You’ll be dead and gone. You capiche?”
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