Another Stupid Trilogy

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Another Stupid Trilogy Page 31

by Bill Ricardi

In head, was suddenly not here. Was in small room. Air cold, but sheets warm. Fluff on bare chest. Teeth nibble neck. Heat in belly.

  Open eyes, back in shop. Me growl a bit. Nip little white triangle ear. “Ames.”

  Ames yelp at teeth on ear. Pull back, look surprise.

  Look innocent. “Slipped.” was all me say.

  Tara step in before kitty say anything. “We have news, you should close the shop for the evening.”

  We do dat. When shades down, all go up to dinner table. Cowgirl bring two big fish with spice, put in oven and start fire for dinner. While wait, Ames and Tara tell what they find.

  Cowgirl say, “First of all, allow me to say that I have a new appreciation for dancing as an entertainment medium. Proficiency isn’t enough, the amusement of the audience is paramount. At least with that sort of dancing. It was quite exhilarating.”

  Small human choke on water. Put down cup. “Do you mean… you danced? With the poles, on stage?”

  Tara say, “Of course I danced. Ames was resting after all. And as a minotaur, I appreciate art in every form, including eroticism.” She narrow eyes. “And how would you know about what happens at The Spastic Vole, young man?”

  Leeson cough. Face turn red. “I errr… may have read it in Sorch’s travel diary when he lent it to me.”

  Cowgirl snort. “Anyway. Between services, I coordinated with the Arcane University and my local temple to research Pandemonium portals. I’m afraid most of the people proficient in opening them are not on our side, and never will be. That leaves Chaos magicians that might work with us. Which means visiting the witches of the Glasson dessert or the elves of Arbitros.”

  Me grunt. “Elves.”

  Leeson nodding when I say dat. “Yes, there are two reasons the elves are a better pick. They’re closer of course. But equally important, Sorch and I may have a lead on the people who took his stuff when he was captured.”

  Ames hiss, “Who? Where?”

  Tara blink at kitty. “Dear, I know I’ve only known you for a brief period, but I’ve never seen you look so murderous.”

  Me shake head. “Not rare, happen lots.”

  Leeson answer Ames. “There’s a stronghold that the ancient elves built, right on the edge of the wild elf forests and the orcish swamps. It is somewhat southeast of Sorch’s village, not too far from the coast. The elves cleared out long ago, but apparently deliveries are currently being taken there. The delivery man had Sorch’s dagger as payment.”

  Me waggle pretty knife around. Put away when all frown at me.

  Ames say, “Then as far as I’m concerned, that’s settled. A boat past the swamplands, and we recon those stronghold bastards. If we have the upper hand, we see if Sorch’s things are there and interrogate one of them to find out what in the hells they wanted with my man.”

  Tara put big pack on floor. “Oh, Sorch, we picked up the things that Ames has been keeping for you.”

  Kitty explain, “From the castle, dear. We traveled light when we headed into the sewers. I kept everything that everyone left behind. For you, I have your ID anklet from the Arcane University, your extra clothes, pack, and that bag of material components.”

  Me shrug. “New clothes good. Is anklet pretty?”

  Leeson say, “Very pretty.” He sound like he make fun of me.

  Ames hold something behind back. “And there was something that the Headmaster wanted me to return to you.”

  Eyes get wide when kitty show me.

  “Rock!”

  I takes Rock from kitty. Hug Rock. Cowgirl confused, but boy and kitty happy for me.

  Ames say, “You take care of that. Apparently it got Hemitath exactly where she needed to go.”

  Cowgirl rub chin. “Hemitath. Hmmmm. Because we’re trying to save multiple Magic Guild members and University alumni, they mentioned that they would provide some limited assistance. I can probably ask them to lend us apprentices to help watch The Magic Shop and the Vole while we travel.”

  Leeson say, “I’ll run down to the docks and let the crew know that we’ll be leaving in the morning, Tara, and you can meet us there.”

  Kitty say, “Settled. I’ll help Sorch repack and then we’ll get some rest. Wherever you end up, let’s meet at the docks tomorrow, an hour after dawn. Suited and booted please, no side trips once we meet up.”

  Me explain that no wear suits of armor. Tara explain she no wear boots unless cold. Kitty look annoyed and say is just expression.

  Dinner ready. Fish real good. Salty, some hot from spice. Eat my half fish easy. Then eats what little human don’t finish. There lotsa talk, but me just listen mostly. When out of prison, just nice to hear people not-yell.

  We finish and clean plates. Then all go off to do stuff and grab things. Me take big pack and go down stairs with kitty.

  Ames going over stuff they brought back. Hand over Rock to get packed, hear cat talking. Me not really listening. Set light pack from Leeson next to old one, so kitty combine things how dey like. Some scroll real important, dat go in dere. While Ames busy, I get out of cloak and boots, kick under cot. Kitty keep talk and sort. Me say ‘yes’ lots. Rough fingers work on buckles and tied knots. Ames armor fall to floor. Cat roll shoulders, more comfy now.

  Remember something. Teasing cat-butt in face. Gotta dress Ames while kitty pack bag. Me had to be good, was going out to job. Broken lock. Walk through snow alleys, Ames keep teasing. Was being very good then.

  But why me gotta be good now? No locks to fix.

  Hug kitty from behind. “Miss you lots.” me say, squeezing.

  Ames stop sorting. Say, “I missed you… and you missed my birthday last month. I was alone, but I imagined you were there.”

  Kitty go all tense for second when me keep taking stuff off. Then seem to melt when me rub shoulders. Soon cat shirt and pants go too, toss on fallen armor. “Me sorry ‘bout birthday, love. Take care of dat right now.”

  Pick up squirmy nude kitty and toss on cot. Ames’ whiskers press into pillow. Lay on top of soft white fluff, tailtip in teeth. Leave hands to pin kitty-cat wrists behind head. Pillow do good job, muffle mews and screams while me give Ames late birthday gift.

  In morning, wake up and think, ‘Me glad cot so strong.’

  Gotta hurry, no time for real bath. Some buckets cold water, some hot water from magic pot. Both wash up quick, dress, finish pack. Leeson wake up before, packed and handing key to boys from magic school. We run to get to docks. No need. See Tara run too from next street. All slow down, walk to boat like not-crazy folks.

  Leeson’s boat real fast. Say will only take two days to go from city, past swamp, to where big trees start. Spend time working mostly. But have time to hear stories, help remember even more. Start to feel more… real. More here. More me. Hard to find words.

  Also hear new stories. About Tara. She live crazy life. She act, sing, dance, see world. During that, meet and marry Toby. Then become priest when Toby become paladin. Life quest hit her. Drift apart from Toby, no time. Only want silly axe. Toby say they done, she no complain. But she sad about all dat. Really wants Wandering thing done.

  Only take couple days, but me still get angry. Remember lots about Rick and Will and Toby now. My friends. Stole from me, hurt, maybe dead. In bad place, like me was. They save life many times, and me save them. My brothers. Not blood, but battle. No let dark take ‘em. Not without fight.

  Me look at shore get close while other three talk. They walk up to boat rail. “Sorch, can we talk to you?” ask boy.

  Me grunt. “Go, talk.”

  Ames say, “We were just putting our combat tactics together. Sorch in your current state, what were you thinking as far as fighting?”

  Me shrug. “Was gonna hide in back. Make sure nothin’ sneak up. If thing get close, me stab wit’ knife and run.”

  Dey all look at each other. Tara say, “Yeah, that’s what we were thinking as well, Sorch. You’re alright with that?”

  “Proud, but not in hurry to get dead. No magic, bu
t eyes work. I watch backs.”

  Ames not look sure. “Dear, you’ve been a little upset over the past couple of days. We all are, but you in particular. Are you going to be okay in combat? You need to keep a cool head, not get too angry.”

  Me snarl, “What me got to be angry ‘bout? That dey stole my friends? Gave weeks of pain? Took stuff? Took MY LIFE?”

  Last two word go out on water. Hit tree on shore, come back.

  Tara turn, walk away. She mutter, “Oh yeah, he’s going to be fine, I’m sure.” Boy shake head and follow.

  Kitty hold shoulders. Lean in, nose on cheek. “I know you’re mad Sorch. I’m mad too. Keep it together for a little bit longer. We need to be smart about this. Okay?”

  Me grunt and nod. “For you, yes.”

  When get to sand by wood, Ames gotta hold me back. Work self up real good. Ready to dive and swim. Take tiny boats to sand instead. Better idea, me guess. Still mad.

  When at sand, Leeson tell thin sailors, “Take the lifeboats back, and then head home. We’re going to be seeking help from the elves. Even if they say no, we should still be able to use their teleportation circle.” Sailors look not so sure. But go anyway.

  Me useful for thing now: Me find way in wild. Always good in swamp and tree and hill. Cowgirl help too. When sun blocked, she still know what up and what down. We guide kitty and human right way.

  If normal, Ames be real far ahead. But because listen to us, is close. Get to see kitty work. Whiskers and nose always twitch. Start to find real clever elf trap. Ames show how work, with rope and pits and rocks and wood stakes. Show us how avoid all dat.

  Walking long time, get restless. Me not only one. Boy decide to ask cowgirl, “Tara, my father mentioned how dangerous accepting a Geas is. Why now? You’ve been searching for the Axe of McGrondle for years after all. What changed?”

  Tara sigh. She say, “That’s the problem, little one. Nothing changed. I don’t like to complain. I’ve seen more wonders on Panos than many of the ancient elves. I’ve met more people and experienced more cultures than some of the most well travelled caravaners. But do you know what I haven’t experienced?”

  Leeson shake head.

  Cowgirl say, “Peace. My life quest has ground upon my soul for so many seasons. Everyone that was once close to me keeps their distance now. They’re likely thinking that I’ll start talking about the damned axe again… and they’re right. It preoccupies my mind, it haunts my dreams. My divine and spiritual place in the world is wrapped up in this quest. As is the fabric of lore that my people hold dear. But that importance led to my single mindedness. The Wandering ruined my relationship with Toby, and with my family.”

  Boy murmur, “I’m sorry.”

  Tara shrug. She wipe stray tear from eye. “I want it to be over. Now. If I have to trade a little free will to receive nudges in the right direction from the gods, so be it. If there is danger, if there is risk… so be it. People weren’t meant to live like this; in a state of perpetual wanderlust. Or at least, I wasn’t meant to live like this. It will end, and it will end soon. One way or another.”

  We walk in quiet again. Some question have heavy answer.

  Much moss now. Tree get more tall as we go up. All smell very green, very clean, not like swamp. Less and less elf trap as get deeper in. Must be two hour, just walk. As me in lead to point out direction, feel paw on shoulder. Ames hiss in ear, “Hold up. I heard something.”

  All stop. We watch kitty. Ear twitch. Nose wrinkle. Then Ames do something never see. Kitty jump on tree. Claws dig in wood. Climb so fast, gone in branches in a second.

  Three of us wait. We hear branch-sound. More soft each time. Me shrug at others, but stay quiet.

  In distance, hear crack of branch. Then sharp scream. We all run to sound.

  Turn out Ames not need us. Two human in leather with kitty. First got kitty sword through back, through chest, pinned deep in dirt. Second missing most of neck. Blood all over Ames’ claws.

  Tara stare at kitty with big eyes. “Y-you killed them without even talking to them, how do you know that they deserved it?”

  Ames kick de-necked one onto back. Dead man wear Koroth symbol, but different. Extra line, extra mark.

  “It’s some sort of branch from the Koroth cult. As they walked, they were talking about their preferred interrogation methods and favorite victims. Let’s just say that none of you would approve.”

  Clothes bloody, no use to sneak in. Wash Ames off with dead human water. Take coins, leave rest.

  No more bad guys ‘til see fort. Space with no tree, maybe 25 pace by 35 pace. Fort in middle. Not tall, but pretty wide. Got old squiggle letters all over, like see in magic book. It made of wood and rock. Not great shape. Look real old.

  Leeson whisper, “It’s covered in elven runes. I think they’re all burnt out though, they look faded. Broken.”

  Tara agree, “There’s no way that a bunch of human thugs, or even clerics of Koroth, could harness that kind of power. Although… that symbol wasn’t exactly Koroth’s. It was some strange variation.”

  Leeson look confused. “A new branch of his followers? A more twisted cult?”

  Cowgirl shake head. “It signified a consequential change in the entity being worshiped. Like Koroth had been transformed somehow. And if they’re drawing actual power from this source, then something has happened. Something significant, something within the pantheon of the gods and demons themselves.”

  Me hold up hand. “We find out when we go. Where guard?”

  We look at keep for time, but no men come or go. Ames head in, stay low to ground. We watch over while kitty crawl through leafs. Ames get right to door, press triangle ear to wood.

  Not dere long. Cat hear something. Run on all fours, leafs scatter all over. Big door open. Ames not gonna make to tree. We all move out to cover. Kitty see Tara with big shield and bashy stick out, skid to stop and turn to be at side.

  Five human. Two got big sword and wear shiny ring armor. One look like Tara, leather-with-metal and basher stick. One got no armor, big rope net, spear, and small sword. And last got nothing, look like pointy-head mage.

  Dey see us quick, but Leeson already start cast. Two big guys and bad priest come charge. Spear fly over dere heads, aim at boy. Tara super-alert. Hop up, block with shield, back on hoofy-feet to meet charging bad guys.

  Bad mage start mumbling, but too late. Leeson’s pretty glowing darts make him scream, spoil spell. Want to help Ames, but see net guy move up. Know if boy in net, things go bad. Do something stupid-smart. As guy throw net, me jump right at him. Me caught in ropes, but fall all over him. He caught in ropes too. Roll around together, both cursing. Me curse better.

  See fight, quick flashes as try to squirm out. Tara just defense, move back slow. Ames annoy them, move so fast. No let them move free, no let bad priest call god. Guy caught with me try pull little sword. Me bite at finger. Don’t get good grip, but he yell and pull hand away. Me try to make tangle worse.

  More chant from in front. Don’t see or hear boy. Feel sting of many magic darts. They fly around other guy like he not there. Yell as hit in shoulder, ribs, and thigh. Welts and blood all over me.

  But soon see why boy so smart. Spell he learn during magic school testing call ‘Blink’. Leeson blink behind guy who dart me. Knife flash out, one I gave him that hit me in arm once. Bad mage get neck slice open. Bet he wish he pay attention to boy now.

  Me and net guy so tangled now, need someone help cut us out. Growl at each other and watch fight from our butts.

  See cowgirl got small slice on hip. She take club to forearm… leather and chain dull it some but still wince. Ames do all can, but two on three not good. Mostly sword bounce off armor or stop swing of club or blade.

  But now bad guys hear chant behind them. Not their mage. That get them in panic. One brute turn to look, Tara put club in ribs for trouble. Leeson’s Force Bolt catch bad priest right in back, he fall forward. Ames take head off shoulders.

  Now tw
o ring armor guys in trouble. In fair fight, cowgirl good defense, kitty real fast attack. But not fair fight, boy is behind them with knife too. He never even gotta stab, just make threat. Just get one turned. Just matter of time. One turn to lunge at boy, get kitty sword in leg for trouble. Other catch Tara shield right in face. Things go real bad for them after dat. Soon they dead on ground next to priest.

  Ames cut me out of net, then tie other guy in more tight. Even gag him before shoving against wall. Tara use small heal on me and on self. Not stop all pain, but bleeding end. Only useful stuff on dead is more cheap coin and pouch of magic junk that Leeson take.

  Ames hiss, “You were supposed to stay in the back and keep watch!”

  Me say, “Sorry. Seem like right thing to do.”

  Cowgirl snort. “You were fine Sorch. I’m not sure how that would have turned out if you didn’t get involved.” Kitty growl a bit, but not disagree. Me bit proud, even though made Ames mad.

  Boy search, then say, “Just components here. I only have a couple of spells left. I can put a Cloud of Stench in an area, and some more Magic Missiles.”

  Tara nod. “I have some more healing, and I can try to invoke paralysis if I’m not right in the middle of things. But if there are too many more, we should retreat.”

  Kitty rub at whiskers. “They had at least some patrols out. Nobody ran out to help these idiots. If anyone is left, they aren’t in earshot. And the fort isn’t that big.”

  Cowgirl shift leaf around with hoof while think. “Okay, let’s see what they have left then.”

  We go in fort, bar door behind. Tara say, “This is the grand hall. By the state of things I doubt an elf has set foot in here for decades. But still, it’s beautiful.”

  Hafta agree with moo. Moss cover lot of stone. But see pretty spirals in places on wall. Floor made of three kind of pebble, draw picture and map as we walk. Dragons, hills, ocean. All done with tiny rock. Wood old, look almost like rock too. But twist way that wood should not; around corner, leak into cracks, push in and out of rock floor and wall, make pretty pattern. Could never carve like dat. Almost like elf make it grow exactly perfect.

 

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