by Bill Ricardi
I was once again struck by that level of familiarity between my friend and my offspring. Benno was an adult, technically, and it was his life to live. But I was worried about some kind of fallout with Will if my suspicions proved to be correct.
So as Ames started to talk about the Spastic Vole, I leaned over to murmur in my son’s ear. “Listen kiddo. I’m not saying what’s right or wrong here. But just so that I don’t say anything dumb and I’m prepared for whatever comes, I have to ask. Is something going on between you and Rick?”
His reaction was a little less subtle than I had hoped.
“Ew, Dad, no! He’s three times my age.”
It took a moment to register what Benno might have been talking about, but the copper dropped for Will. The younger human started howling with laughter. When Rick figured it out, he dropped his head into a splayed hand, as in if rapidly developing a headache.
Ames slapped the side of my head, prompting me to say something to redeem myself.
I cleared my throat and said, “Sorry. I wasn’t making a judgment. I was, um… just curious.”
Benno explained, a little more calmly, “You remember I had a rough time after my breakup. I just needed someone to talk to who wasn’t family. That’s all.”
Will vouched for his mate’s caliber in these matters. “Rick is an excellent listener. Not always a great talker. But an excellent listener. And don’t worry, now that we have a permanent staff on board, he’s not lacking for any attention in the bedro-”
Rick raised his head and his voice, cutting Will off mid sentence. “Yes, well. Now that I’m saddled with that particular line of thought, your penance is to do the dishes. I need to pack an overnight bag before we go.”
We were quiet as Rick made his way into the other room, slow by necessity due to his artificial leg. When the door closed, Ames looked angrily between Benno and myself.
The were-cat hissed, “Why in the deepest hells didn’t the two of you keep that in your minds? You’re one of the few psychics in all of Panos. We even practiced social situations.”
Benno looked a little ashamed. “I didn’t even consider that.”
I admitted, “Neither did I.”
Ames turned to Will and said, “Will Flemming, I’d like to introduce you to the two smartest orcs on all of Panos.”
The small mage smiled disarmingly. “It’s fine you guys, really. I’m sure that secretly Rick is flattered that you think he has that kind of charisma. Come on, let’s get the dishes done and then we’ll head over to the Temple.”
Silently, I wondered why I hadn’t thought to use mental communication. Were these visions messing with my reasoning? I dismissed that somewhat, as Benno also missed the opportunity to be more subtle. It might have simply been an area that deserved more privacy, rather than exposing my son’s intimate life to potential psychic leakage. Sometimes in mind to mind communication thoughts flowed so rapidly and freely that one could share too much information unintentionally.
Not another word was said about our domestic outburst. After making our way over to the Temple of Vinara, the five of us climbed up the steps of the oversized white gazebo located in the back garden. We stood upon the inlaid copper circle for less than a minute.
And then we were elsewhere.
Chapter 3
The family was sitting around the granite dinner table in Max’s private dining area. We had agreed that four bodies inside of the Headmaster’s small office would have been rather cramped. Instead we took coffee and tea seated in those elegant redwood chairs.
“I would rate your mission an unmitigated success.”
Those weren’t the words that I would use, but I didn’t express my irritation aloud.
Benno, deciding that it was his turn to be the political one, asked, “What makes you come to that conclusion, Headmaster Max?”
The old mage shrugged. “I don't know, that’s just what we’re supposed to say when a bunch of idiot adventurers come back from a mission.”
Ames sighed. “Max.”
The Headmaster explained, “We didn’t know if the source of the changes came from the gods or from mortals. Now we know that it is both. We also know that there was some kind of flaw early in Panos’ creation. Honestly, nobody else has come close to retrieving this amount of information on the subject. Why did you think that I would be unhappy with the result?”
I said, “Because of the fortune teller wisdom at the very end.”
Max shrugged. “Sounds like her hands are tied in that regard. Besides, it seems like she believes that you’ll be approached with the next step soon enough. In the meantime, the rest of us will continue our research. You three go about your business, and report any strange offers or opportunities that you might get.”
We were forced to agree, as much as the entire family hated such a passive plan.
“Now on to the next matter. It sounds like there’s a functional, if inaccessible, temple sitting in the middle of the ocean. Useful?”
Benno and I both said “No.” at the same time.
Ames hesitated and then said, “Perhaps.”
All eyes turned towards the were-cat.
“There’s one magical community on Panos that might be able to make use of that temple. The lizardmen.”
Headmaster Max snapped his fingers. “Now that’s thinking globally. A very good point Ames.” He turned to Benno and myself. “Where are your heads at? You’re supposed to be the intellectuals in the room.”
Benno said, “I’m afraid that’s been pointed out to us a few times in the last week, sir.”
I nodded my agreement. “It has. But I’ll attempt to make up for our lapses. Professor Sevritz, the elementals teacher. He would have ties to the lizardman magical community. Before he gets too busy with the new term, it might be wise to ask him to reach out.”
Max nodded, slowly. He said, “There’s hope for you yet, mister Stonebender. I’ll talk to him this afternoon. Your compensation has been deposited into your Guild accounts. Now. As young Benno needs to resume classes and the two of you need to stay open to whatever comes along, I have no use for any of you.”
With that statement, Max picked up his mug of coffee and simply walked out of the room.
After expenses, we had earned around 200 gold pieces each. It wasn’t as much as we made in the past, but at least there was no combat involved. Benno could now apply for provisional membership in the Adventurer’s Guild. Ames had gotten some time away from the daily grind, and not lost money in the process. Importantly, the bounty would cover the price of intellect enhancement spells for Benno and myself. At least for a while.
We finished our beverages without the Headmaster’s supervision, and then let ourselves out. We passed through the South Wing’s checkpoint and climbed the stairs. Benno headed back to his room, which he shared with Titan. The reports that I received from the halfling, clandestinely, noted that my son was a highly considerate lad. Whatever issues that the halfling once had with his former roommate were solved by pairing him up with my son. I was happy for the diminutive mage. I was also glad that Benno had someone with him who I trusted implicitly.
Ames and I continued spiraling upwards after dropping off Benno. The two of us stopped on our usual floor, where the guest and teachers’ quarters were. As I turned left out of the stairwell, I nearly collided with Parsnip.
The half elf stopped short and laughed a little bit. “Be careful, I have live cargo.”
Parsnip managed to give both Ames and I gentle kisses on the cheek without squishing her ‘cargo’. The infant in her arms was swaddled in a blue wool blanket, protecting the child from the somewhat chilly air that circulated through the halls of the Arcane University.
“How is he?” asked Ames in a low rumble.
Patricia’s smile said it all. “He’s great. Walk with me, I’ll catch you up.”
I remained quiet as my mate and my dear friend gossiped. They were shoulder to shoulder, while I remained a step behind. I
was never quite sure what to say to Parsnip these days. I suppose at some point that I decided to err on the side of tact and caution when dealing with a new mother. It seemed like a wise move, but I felt like I was distancing myself from Patricia at the same time.
I had good reason.
As the four of us, if one included the bundle tucked into Patricia’s chest, slowly meandered up the hall, I recalled the conversation that heralded the beginning of my uncertainty. It happened last year. I was swamped with studies, it being the start of my final season at the Arcane University.
Parsnip and Celestial were a couple at that point, and I was extraordinarily happy for them. They lived together in staff quarters, which meant that Patricia’s issues with dodgy roommates were at an end. I’d never seen Celestial so satisfied with life. His constant quest for the new, for the obscure and fascinating, came to a sudden halt. Instead he poured quite a bit of effort into the examination and understanding of his new love.
One would think that an engagement announcement would spell the end of my trysts with Parsnip. But as it turned out, Ames and I were a fairly normal and subdued couple in comparison to Celestial and Patricia. When my were-cat and I were invited over for dinner that first night, we thought it was a social occasion. No. It was a carnal occasion. I may have led a relatively vanilla, sheltered life compared to Ames, but even the feline seemed taken aback by the open and adventurous nature of our friends.
Two moons before my final exams, I was invited to Celestial’s quarters just after lunch. As busy as I was at the time, I planned to just stop by and be friendly. I would let them know that I was flattered but quite focused on my studies. Perhaps I could suggest getting together after dinner on the next weekend and including Ames in that little outing.
When I entered the new professor’s chambers however, I knew that I wouldn’t need to give them any excuses. They were both sitting at their tiny dinner table, looking somber. This wasn’t one of ‘those’ visits.
Patricia said, “Hi dear. Why don’t you have a seat?”
As I did so, several things raced through my mind. Were they about to tell me that they’ve decided to have a monogamous relationship? Were they planning to leave the school at year’s end? I already knew that if either of these things were the issue: Whatever they decided, I would support them of course.
Celestial shared a glance with Parsnip, then said, “Sorch, do you remember that night a few weeks back? We finished off that lovely bottle of ouzo that you brought, and then you and Ames spent the night?”
Parsnip added, dryly, “All night.”
I felt heat rise to my cheeks. Maybe this was one of ‘those’ visits.
I said, “Of course I remember. Well, most of it. We chased the ouzo with a nice dessert wine, so maybe some of it gets a bit… fuzzy.”
The dark skinned, azure haired human stared at me for a moment. “You recall enough to agree that in the early morning, the four of us did just about everything one can imagine together. Yes?”
I cleared my throat and nodded. “Accurate.” I murmured.
Again, the couple traded looks. It was Patricia who broke the news, “I haven’t had my period since then, Sorch.”
Seeing the shocked look on my face, Celestial quickly added, “That wasn’t the only time that Patricia and I were together around that time, Sorch. Odds are that this is just a precautionary thing.”
However, my half elf friend was being a bit more blunt. “You could be the father, Sorch. Half elves and orcs are a viable combination. Normally I’m more careful with herbal supplements and the like, but Celestial and I are trying to start a family.”
The human mage added, “And we were pretty tipsy to be fair.”
I looked between the two of them. I examined each of their faces to see if this was a joke told in very bad taste. The looks that I got back were ones of concern.
My chest felt tight. The words that I was saying didn’t sound right at the time; too rushed, too high pitched to be me. “If it turns out that I’m the father I’ll do whatever you think is right. I don’t know what… I mean, how does this normally work? What happens now?”
Patricia reached across the little table and stroked my hair. The effect was immediate. I let out a held breath and relaxed at this gesture of kindness. She said, “We’ll keep you posted, but I assure you that either way, your involvement with the future of the child is entirely voluntary. We’ve discussed it.”
Celestial was nodding. He said, “Exactly Sorch. On the off chance that the baby is a half orc, you can be like a second father figure. Or you can be more of an uncle. Or you can forget that it ever happened. Don’t feel trapped by any of this. We consider it a blessing, no matter who the father is.”
I leaned into Parsnip’s touch and absorbed their words. My mind was chaos. But their openness and acceptance went a long way towards suppressing the panic that I was feeling.
“Okay.”
Back in the here and now, Ames glanced over their shoulder at me. “Okay? I asked if you wanted to go back to the Vole for dinner or eat here. ‘Okay’ isn’t an answer.”
Parsnip giggled. She said, “Well it’s an answer, just not to the question asked.”
Hesitantly, I stepped right up to my half elven friend. “Can I see him?”
Patricia tilted her head, ginger locks falling off to one side. Then she reached down and opened the blue wool blanket. The tiny boy stared back up at me with his aquamarine eyes. His light green skin was so delicate in contrast to the fingertip that I used to stroke his forehead.
I said, “I want to eat here. With my whole family.”
Ames and Patricia shared a smile. The feline said, “I’ll wrangle Benno, you tell Celestial. We’ll meet you down there.”
As my mate disappeared back the way we came, I continued to stroke my new son’s brow.
Patricia watched me, an oddly satisfied smile on her delicate lips. “Come on little Granite. Let’s tell Daddy that second-Daddy is joining us for dinner.”
We walked towards Celestial’s room in silence until we were just outside. Then Parsnip reminded me, “No expectations. You be you.”
“I’ll try.”
My human friend soon joined us, and did his best to catch me up on current events in their lives.
Celestial mentioned, “Max agreed to a lighter class-load for me in my first year as a full Professor. And Patricia is going to take classes part time, aiming to graduate mid 2722.”
I chuckled a little bit and asked the half elf, “That long? You’re going to milk this motherhood thing for all it’s worth, aren't you?”
Parsnip smirked up at me. “There’s a lot to get done. We have a wedding to plan. And the two of us are going to give Granite a little brother or sister.”
I heard Celestial murmur to himself, “Just the two of us this time around.”
Patricia hadn’t heard that. I stifled a laugh that would have given my blue haired human friend away. Instead, I said, “I’m happy for the two of you. If you need catering, the Spastic Vole is at your command. Just let Ames and I know the date when you decide.”
Celestial said, “I didn’t know you could get catering for the conception of a child, but that’s very generous of you Sorch!”
Patricia asided to me, tone long-suffering, “He’s been a father for two moons, and already the jokes are unbearable.”
We made our way down to the dining hall. Benno and Ames had saved a table for the six of us. For the very first time, I got to enjoy dinner with my entire extended family. It was wonderful. And the evening wasn’t destined to end there, as it turned out.
A passing Invisible Servant handed Celestial a crumpled up note, just as we were debating over which of the two desserts to order. He raised a brow, and then started to read. This was followed by laughter.
Seeing our curiosity, Celestial read aloud, “Oh ye who doth consort with orcs. Who seek those after dinner snacks. Please rise and stand; put down your forks. And bring your sweet t
ooth to the stacks.”
We debated whether or not the last line should have been ‘sweet tooth’ or ‘sweet teeth’ for a little while, but the general consensus was that this was a more than passable attempt at iambic tetrameter. Clearly this was a message from Green, whose interests had taken a sharp turn towards bardic magic over the last couple of years. Upon finding his calling, the once-awkward man grew in confidence and ability. He quietly filled Celestial’s shoes when the rest of the gang found some housing stability outside of the Apprentice Library. Now it was the young human leading the midnight study sessions.
We sauntered over to the East Wing, passing Granite around so that no single nose or chin received too much abuse from those grabby little fingers. The six of us spiraled down to the bottom of the Apprentice Library, encountering fewer and fewer students as the subject matter of the texts became more obscure.
The rich smell of chocolate greeted us, rather than the more familiar scent of cornbread. Glass pitchers, normally filled with water, instead contained a thicker, amber-brown liquid.
I said, “Please tell me that I’m looking at Moria’s fudge and Titan’s honey mead, and not vice versa.”
The halfling said, “Hey. I make pretty good fudge.”
The wererat had to laugh. “You absolutely do not.”
Sitting at the head of the table was Green. He was grinning at the exchange between Titan and Moria, while continuing to tune his four stringed lute. The human said, “Welcome. I see that you deciphered my message.”
Celestial replied, dryly, “You know we would have gotten here much faster if you had just said: ‘I have beer and chocolate.’ Hells, Patricia might have taken out a couple of guards in the process.”
Parsnip nodded. “I would have taken hostages if necessary.”
There was a series of handshakes and hugs and kisses by way of greeting, depending on the nature of any given pairing. My favourite one was somewhat of a ritual at this point: I offered Moria a solemn handshake, and the wererat grumbled, instead straining up on tippy-toes to deliver a kiss to my green skinned cheek.