Magic Makes You Strange (The Brontosaurus Pluto Society Book 1)

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Magic Makes You Strange (The Brontosaurus Pluto Society Book 1) Page 12

by Noah K Mullette-Gillman


  “Why can’t I cast a spell on you, doggy?” Edward addressed the beast. “Are you immune to magic? If you were, then how could I use magic to send you away? How could the spell keep you from turning on me? No, you’re vulnerable. You’re very vulnerable to magic. Is there something about you that resists stone spells? Or that spell? Oh! Or maybe you and the spell are from different planets? Is that it?” He paused and smiled at Romana.

  He turned back to the caterpillar, pointing at it accusingly, “But if the spell is from Pluto and you’re from Venus, then the devils are from Venus too. They turned to stone nicely. And… The aliens turned to stone, and humans turned to stone. Everybody turned to stone, except you. And you…”

  “He’s already under your spell,” Romana pointed out.

  He pointed at her ten times in rapid succession, “Yes! Yes, that’s it! I can’t hurt you and you can’t hurt me. That’s it, isn’t it, Jack!”

  “His name’s Jack?” Romana asked.

  “Why not?” Edward smiled again. “So, the way to do this is to first cast a spell freeing him. Then, if he doesn’t run away, I cast another turning him to stone?”

  “Well, yeah. Assuming we’re right. Maybe he just can’t be turned to stone?”

  Edward frowned. “No, no. If this were a test that Dever set up, then the two spells would be the way. I’m sure of it.”

  “But, Dever didn’t set this up. Your boss didn’t know anything about the planet Venus.”

  Edward thought about that for a second. “Frankly, I have no idea what he knew about. If he didn’t know a few forbidden secrets they wouldn’t have gone and taken him away to Pluto, would they?”

  “Alright, then what’s the plan?”

  “Help me to flip this table.” Edward walked over to the table he had turned to stone. It was heavy, but they managed to push it over onto its side. They both climbed in-between the table and the wall. They were in as safe a spot as they were likely to find in the great chamber.

  Neither of them planned it, but they found themselves holding hands.

  Edward shouted at the beast, “Alright, I’m going to release you. As you know, I am a powerful magician. If you do not leave straight away – I will have to destroy you.”

  “We’ll turn you into mice!” Romana added.

  “Mice?”

  “He seems a little big to wind up as just one…”

  Edward closed him eyes. He held up his left hand, aiming the palm at the monster as if it were a gun. He pictured a long-necked reptile. It changed into a circle with a foot inside of it. He imagined the fancily drawn number four, then the weird looking flower, then the boat. The boat shifted into a simple rectangle. Finally he imagined a clockwise spiral. He intended to fire the spell by picturing the look on Nevil Dever’s face when he solved the puzzle. He tried to imagine a proud face. But for some reason, the great magician looked unimpressed.

  But the spell fired anyway.

  The great hairy monster turned and began to move towards the entrance. Its hindquarters rested on the ground. Massive muscles flexed and released as it twisted its way forward, a massive amount of flesh held aloft.

  When it got out of the arch, the caterpillar turned. It appeared to sniff the air and then began rushing forward, mouth open. The teeth were like pole-arms.

  Romana screamed.

  Edward shut his eyes.

  He imagined an inverted pyramid. He imagined a grey sun. He pictured a black dog. He remembered the shape Mandelesian had made with his fingers. He thought about the sound of running water pulling a rock away from the shore. And then… well, all he could imagine was the mouth coming for him and that was the perfect trigger.

  When he opened his eyes, Romana was pressed against him, trying to hide under his jacket and against his chest. At first he couldn’t see. His eyes had to adjust because the massive statue above him blocked out almost all of the light.

  The two of them stood up slowly and without saying a word they walked together past the monster and out the arched entrance. Most of the caterpillar had been petrified, but not all of it. It was too big for the spell. A second fleshy half had been cut off. The dead flesh lay there in the sand bleeding.

  They had to step through its fluids to get out.

  13

  There weren’t any stars at night on Venus, just a vague glow in the sky behind the thick clouds. The sky was still yellow at night, but a much darker and more turbulent yellow. There was less light to see with, but it wasn’t completely black. There was no moon, but there was a certain amount of ambient light.

  Edward and Romana walked on through the ruins, up the hill. They held hands as they stepped through the cracked stones and warped metal. It wasn’t meant to be a romantic gesture. They helped each other to not lose balance, and they didn’t want to lose each other in the night.

  In any case, it comforted them both to have someone to hold onto.

  “It’s the sun,” Edward said. “We’re so much closer to the sun that the light’s there even when the planet is turned away.”

  “Then why don’t we burn up?” Romana wondered.

  “I don’t know what it’s supposed to be like here. But I know that the world is nothing like we were told it was. I don’t recognize my life. I’m glad – I’m glad you’re here, at least.”

  She playfully punched his arm. “You’re glad I’m trapped on the planet Venus!?!”

  “Well… I’m glad for my sake, and that’s the more important of sakes isn’t it?”

  He laughed. She playfully hit him again.

  “What was your magic show like?”

  “Oh! Nevil Dever was the greatest showman in the world! He changed peoples’ lives. They learned to deal with the loss of their loved ones. He woke them up from grayness and emptiness and made them believe there was still some wonder in the world. If you came to see us, you would have sworn that you saw ghosts! You should have believed that he could levitate. It was a trick, but most of the people who came to see the show left believing that the trick was that he pretended that the magic was only pretend.”

  “Is that why the devils came for him?”

  Edward shook his head. “No, it wasn’t the devils. I’m sure of it. The aliens are something else. I’ve seen them both and there’s no confusing them. Nevil Dever performed an impossible trick on stage. Maybe it’s true, maybe this was a real spell? He made all of the cigarettes and cigars in the audience come back to life and sprout leaves. It wasn’t just in the front of the audience, but all throughout – in the back row, in the middle of the crowd. I – I can’t imagine how he did it. Did he hand out cigarettes before the show? No, he didn’t. But even if he had, how would you create that illusion in so many cases? I think the only conclusion is that Dever had a spell, a real spell, like the kind you and I have. And when he cast it in public the way he did, the aliens came running and grabbed him in front of a live audience.”

  “That seems extreme.” Romana furrowed her brow. “They don’t like us having magic, but for them to appear in public and grab him, they must have been panicked.”

  As they walked through the yellow night, they began to hear quiet singing. They paused for a moment and then walked on, continuing towards the music. They moved a little more slowly and carefully.

  Soon they could distinguish strings. The music was beautiful. It wasn’t quite violin or harp or guitar, but it was from that family. The singing was done in a harmony with a high pitched voice and a very low baritone. It sounded like a great number of feet were stomping along. The words were indistinguishable. As they got closer, it was clear that it wasn’t being sung in English.

  Edward also spoke Latin and French. Romana knew a little French. It was not a romance language.

  Well before they thought they were close enough to be noticed, a squeaky voice spoke to them from the shadows, “You came for the party?”

  They let go of each others’ hands. Romana wrapped both fists around her pitchfork and pointed it towards the vo
ice. Edward turned calmly, making a large motion with his left hand, in order to hide that he was preparing to throw a rock with his right.

  “Humans from Earth. That’s my favorite kind! Did you come on a great starship?” The voice didn’t sound threatening. It was dark and twisted, but was at least pretending to be friendly.

  “I used my powerful magic to tear a whole in the universe and we walked through, from the surface of one world and onto another,” Edward said, borrowing Nevil Dever’s voice.

  “Oh! That’s much better… I like magic. I don’t like the machines. The men who own the machines are very bad. Very bad,” the voice said.

  “Step forward. Let us see you,” Romana ordered.

  “You have to promise, an honest promise, that if I do you won’t eat me.”

  “We won’t eat you,” Romana cracked a smile, despite herself.

  There was the sound of metal moving, as the stranger climbed out from a pile of junk. He stepped forward. Red skin, horns, furry legs, hooves, a long and pointed tail, but the devil was only a few inches tall!

  “Did you offend a great wizard?” Edward laughed.

  “I’m very tall for my family!” The little devil said, with no small amount of indignation.

  “What are you?” Romana asked.

  “I am a devil! What else would I be?”

  “You’re not very scary!” Romana was laughing and laughing.

  “You’re not very scary either! I didn’t realize that we were meant to frighten one another. I just came out tonight to hear the singing. I don’t know what you’re doing here…”

  “I’m sorry,” Romana tried to contain herself, “I just didn’t know that there were devils like you,”

  “Well, we don’t leave the planet much. Now I see why. And what are you doing here?” He sounded annoyed now.

  “As you say, we’re here for the show,” Edward said, in a deep and rushing voice.

  “Alright, then we’d better go before it’s over. Come on, chaps!”

  At the little devil’s command a group of at least four more miniature fiends came crawling out of the shadows. They all started walking along, single file, towards the singing. Romana and Edward followed politely behind.

  There was a bonfire and a circle of devils around that bonfire. A number of the red men were small, but the majority was human-sized. The sky above them no longer looked dark yellow, but instead seemed to have become metallic. Gold and bronze clouds appeared to melt over one another. The fire reached up and launched sparks which floated over the dancers.

  Edward felt himself need to pause and fear for his soul. He hadn’t had a lot of religion in his life, but just enough that the site in front of him caused him to worry. It was like a piece of art from the middle ages. The only things missing were the torture victims burning and bleeding. For just a second he imagined Romana on the fire, and himself the victim of a pitchfork’s points.

  There were a large number of pitchforks among the devils. The miniature devils held them aloft when they danced. He imagined that it helped to keep the larger ones from stepping on them. Many of the big devils swung their pitchforks around playfully. It seemed a miracle to him that no one slashed open their brothers’ or sisters’ bellies. He noticed that there were no blue devils in this group. He had still only seen one of those.

  The nudity was less shocking than the horns and tails, but it was hard to turn away from it. A good half of the fiends wore no clothes at all. The rest wore very little. It was the epitome of sinful.

  “You’ve never been to one of these before, have you?” The little red man who had led them there said to an open-mouthed Edward.

  Edward flapped his jaw a few times, hypnotized by breasts, but could not manage any words.

  Romana slapped him and he turned to face her. “Sorry.”

  “This is your first time on Venus, isn’t it?” The devil asked.

  “Yes, it is,” Edward answered, rubbing his face.

  “My name‘s Septimus,” the devil said, holding out his little hand.

  Edward had to get onto his knees to reach out with two fingers and shake his doll-hand. “Edward. And this is Romana.”

  “So now you know it’s not Hell. There’s a fire, but no brimstone. No torture. Not what Dante promised, is it?” the devil asked.

  “You’re not the first devils we’ve met,” Romana said bitterly. “We know the truth about you.”

  “Truth? Oh yeah, humans always want to talk about truth!” The little man sounded amused. “Look, follow me. Let me introduce you to someone who will share a truth with you. The first truth you’ve ever heard in your whole monkey lives!”

  The tiny red man started stomping off.

  For some reason, they followed him through the horde of naked dancing demons.

  * ** *** ** *

  The tent was made of thick brown fur. It might have been the hide of one of the caterpillars. When the wind blew against it, the long hairs rose high in the breeze. As they passed through the entrance, they were blinded by the wild blowing hair.

  There was a smaller fire inside, which ventilated through a small circular hole in the center of the tent’s roof. The space inside the tent was quite large. There were tables covered with strange fruit, bottles of wine (some of which looked like they came from Earth), and an unidentifiable barbequed animal hung on a spit.

  The singing and stomping outside could be heard clearly inside the tent, but the acoustics were such that it was clearer and sharper than it had been out where the singing and dancing was actually occurring. It was also mercifully quieter and more conducive to conversation.

  A half dozen devils reclined on colorful silk cushions in the sand. They were all female and naked except for jewelry and golden chains which hung heavily around their waists and hips. On the sides, two couples could be seen kissing each other and passionately running their hands over one another’s bodies. They were oblivious to Romana and Edward.

  The little devil walked them into the tent and straight forward to the tallest and darkest devil they had seen yet. She was reclining on the cushions with two of her sisters. Edward estimated she would have been a solid seven feet in height if she had been standing. A bejeweled dagger was tied to her thigh by means of a knotted black leather sash. The blade lay right against her midnight-red skin without sheath or scabbard to protect her. Except for the many pitchforks, it was the only weapon they had seen in the camp. Her horns were long and straight. The bases were yellow and stepped. A few inches from her head they became white and sharp.

  “Humans!” she said in a surprisingly sweet and feminine voice.

  Romana glared at her. Edward bowed politely.

  “Edward and Romana of Earth. You are in the presence of Lenore of Venus!”

  She held her hand out for it to be kissed. The distance between where she lay and where they were standing made the moment a little awkward, but Edward bounded forward and politely kissed the devil’s knuckles. Her skin was fiery hot.

  She smiled demurely, and then slid her hand away. She rested it again on one of the other she-devils. “What brings you and your whore to Earth!”

  “What!?!” Romana shrieked with outrage.

  Lenore smiled, as if comforting a child, “I mean it only as a great compliment. I’m sure you have dozens of exhausted lovers back on your own planet.”

  “On our world, that is no compliment,” Edward said firmly.

  “Then I apologize. I am certain that your lady remains whole and intact and dry…”

  Septimus spoke up, “I was hoping that you might help the humans out by telling them a little of the truth. You know that Earth suffers under the weight of so many crushing lies.”

  She nodded sagely. Her golden chains jingled as she shifted her weight.

  “Have you ever wondered why your history only goes back three thousand years? Your archeologists have found human bones going back hundreds of thousands of years. Even a couple of million years ago, your fathers and mo
thers were not so different than you are now. There were great artists. There were songs. Some few were brilliant by the standards of any age.”

  “In the stone age?” Romana asked skeptically.

  Again, the giantess devil blinked her eyes and smiled knowingly, showing that she thought of Romana as a child. “Yes, the age of stone. Do you know how to work stone? Can you move the great rocks? Can you carve? Can you tunnel into solid bedrock? Can you build mountains? They didn’t have televisions or telephones or teleportation… but that doesn’t mean they were less noble. Imagine a race of kind, just, and brilliant men and women; shorter than you are, and hairier, maybe their faces were rougher. But no one could debate which was the wiser.

  “My ancestors traveled to your world, our closest neighbor, and we met with your grandmothers and grandfathers. We admired them their sense of fairness, their imaginations, their dreams… We taught them about magic. Are you two magicians?”

  Septimus answered, “The male assures me he is very powerful and dangerous.”

  “Of course he is. I can see the confidence and virility in the way he stands. I’d be afraid to ever displease him.” Her voice oozed sexuality.

  Romana crossed her arms. She looked furious.

  “Zounds consort…” Edward quoted Shakespeare. “Your people came to Earth three thousand years ago and taught us to be sorcerers?”

  The naked fiend laughed, “Three thousand? Oh no, dear Edward. It was closer to a million!”

  All the assembled demons laughed along for a while. Then she continued, “We influenced you. We taught you some of our languages. We freed your faces from the thick fur which covered up your beauty. We led you in songs. We helped you with your paintings. Our people helped you to get in touch with the many Gods within you and around you who are you. There’s a time all humans now dream about. Some call it the ‘golden age.’ It was this age that we gave to you. We set you free!”

  “What lies!” Romana growled.

  The devil woman continued, “Four thousand years ago is when we lost our influence over you. There’s life on more than two of the worlds in this solar system. The world you call Pluto is the home to the worst of it. We fought them for a long time. They wanted to control you - as we wanted and still do desperately want to help set you free. Four thousand years ago was when they finally won and drove us away. They smashed our cities, both on Earth and here on Venus. Our spaceships were destroyed. To this day, we have none. We have been reduced to what we can accomplish with simple bravery and magic. They erased your history. They named us devils. Your parents called us daemons, spirits, little people, wee folk, or sometimes satyrs – satire. You see, we were best known for telling jokes and making fun.”

 

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