Dr. Harrison nodded.
“Look,” I said when the nurse passed us. “You’ve obviously got your hands full here. I’m going to go.” I started to turn when his hand touched my wrist, sending a chill along the back of my neck.
“Just a minute.”
I turned to meet his gaze, his features attempting to mask something. A trace of sadness or frustration possibly.
He looked down at our hands, surprised they were still touching and pulled his back. “It’s important I get the list back to you. I don’t want to hold you up.”
“Sure. I don’t know how that slipped away from me, but I appreciate you contacting me about it.”
He gestured with his head back the way I’d come from. “My briefcase is over here.”
I followed him, past the TV room where Alyssa still sat, and over to a separate seating area. A dark brown briefcase rested against one of the chairs. A coffee cup and black spectacles lay on a table across from the chair.
“You’re very trusting to leave this sitting here,” I said, waiting for him to sift through the contents of the open bag.
It was then I noted his much more casual attire—snug blue T-shirt, loose-fitting jeans, and tennis shoes. “Yes, well…” As he pulled the sheet of paper out, others came along with it, causing him to fumble with the case and loose papers. A few fell to the floor, and we both bent to get them. A drawing of a young girl caught my eye. I reached for it, but Dr. Harrison swiped it up and returned it to his case. “Thank you,” he said as we both stood. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time here lately and…” His attention was drawn back toward the room by another outburst.
“I don’t want anyone in here right now,” the young voice cried. Another nurse lingered in the doorway—this one looking haughty and annoyed—before giving up and leaving.
Whoever that distressed girl was, she wasn’t getting her message across. My heart went out to her as I listened to her cries and moans still audible beyond the door. No matter what medical issue she had to deal with, I understood that feeling of not wanting to be comforted by people. The necessity to be alone, away from pitying eyes, away from people making your pain a reality to be dealt with. “That poor girl,” I whispered to myself, staring down the hall.
When I looked back to Dr. Harrison, he was staring at me thoughtfully. “That’s my niece.”
“Oh…Is she going to be all right?”
“She has leukemia.” He took in a slow breath, turned his gaze down. “She’s only fourteen. Going through chemo.” His whole demeanor appeared darker, more unstable than he was before.
“I’m sorry. That must be so horrible and scary for her.”
“She was actually being quite strong and mature until some of her hair started falling out this morning.”
“Oh. I understand her reaction now. Hair is important to a young girl.”
“Apparently. It’s just that…” Helplessness flashed across his face briefly. He looked down at the list in his hand. “Anyway, here you go.” He forced a tight smile. “Hang on to it this time.”
“Thank you. I’ll try.” I took the list, folding it into my purse. “What were you going to say?”
“It’s not important. The important thing is getting Jessica through this and getting her healthy again. Good luck to you, Gray.”
“You, too.” I offered a smile I don’t think he noticed.
He turned his back to me, setting the soft leather briefcase back down, signaling my required exit. I followed my orders hesitantly, glancing over my shoulder with concern as I went. Something wouldn’t let me walk away. No matter how much I was like Jessica, that didn’t mean I didn’t have empathy for someone else’s pain. I returned to sit next to the good doctor who leaned over in the chair with his face buried in his hands, looking anything but a superhero.
I placed a gentle hand on his firm bicep. “Can I help?”
His head turned to me. His tired eyes met mine and then narrowed. Had I made a mistake butting in? It felt as though I had invaded his personal space. Then, he grinned sweetly. “Thank you. I appreciate the offer, but there’s nothing you can do.”
He stared straight ahead for a few moments; he ran his hand through his hair before he looked at me again. As much as I’d hoped to give one last shot to obtaining him as my therapist, I couldn’t bring it up at a time like this. Instead, my mouth shot out something worse.
“I can see how hard this is for you. You know, just because of your profession doesn’t mean you should feel bad about…”
His brows knotted as I spoke. “Is that what you think this is about? Me feeling insignificant?”
I shrugged, disguising my contentment. “You’re not the only one who knows how to read people.”
“Well, you’re dead wrong. I love Jessica. And yes, I wish I could help her through this. God knows, I’ve tried. But if I’m…distraught or frustrated, it’s because I feel for her.”
“All right. No need to get defensive.”
“I’m not…” He let out a sharp breath and shook his head. A quick chuckle escaped him. “Look, I’m just trying to be there for her…and my sister. She’s going through this alone with her husband gone overseas.”
“That must be really tough. I’m sure they both appreciate that.”
Before I finished, he stood, fixing a hard stare down toward the aisle that led to Jessica’s room. “I’m sorry, Gray. Excuse me.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Did you hear that?”
I didn’t understand what he meant until I realized the crying had stopped at some point. In the doorway, a nurse stood with her hand on her hip. She clicked her head to the side and giggles rang out from inside the room, floating our way. Dr. Harrison strode over with me in tow. The giggles turned to robust laughter seconds before we arrived.
“I’ll let you deal with this one,” the nurse said, patting him on the shoulder as she walked off.
We stalled in the doorway, shoulder to shoulder, my mouth dropping open at the sight of Alyssa sitting on the hospital bed next to a sweet-looking, cheery-faced girl. “I take it her hair didn’t look like that a few minutes ago,” I said when I glimpsed Alyssa holding a pair of scissors, long strands of hair scattered around the bed. The girl ran her hand over her short punk hairstyle and down to the thin rat tail in the back. I couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped me.
Dr. Harrison looked to me as if to determine how to address the situation. “Wow…that looks…” The girl’s bright expression began to fade waiting for his reaction. “…incredible,” he said. “And, who’s your new friend, Jessica?”
“This is Alyssa,” she said, smiling. “She thinks with this new haircut I should call myself Jessie.”
Dr. Harrison stepped into the room; my feet took my unwilling body. I’d wait for an opportune time to escape.
“Jessica…”
“Uncle Daniel, please. I really like Jessie.”
“All right. Jessie. The hair looks fantastic on you. Don’t know what your mother’s going to say, but, honey, you understand what else could happen, right?”
“Yeah, yeah, Dr. Richter said I could go completely bald. I know. Alyssa said I could get some hot wigs if that happens.”
Alyssa looked at me and shrugged. I should have known her lost puppy routine would transfer into humans at some point.
“Maybe we should go and let you two talk,” I said.
“No, I want Alyssa to stay,” she whined. “She was about to do my makeup.”
“Makeup?” We turned to the woman standing in the doorway. “And your hair. Oh my God!”
CHAPTER 7
--------------------------
Jessica’s mother, Rita, recovered quickly from her initial shock at seeing her fourteen-year-old “punked out.” And after a short debate about whether or not she was too young to wear makeup, she gave in for obvious reasons.
I had left Alyssa with Jessie who begged her mother to let her stay for her treatment. Alyssa se
emed more than willing, so I didn’t argue the point. That sick and confused girl wasn’t the only one getting something out of this new found friendship. Dr. Harrison and I headed to the gift shop for a stuffed animal Jessie had had her eye on.
We talked as we walked. He filled me in on Jessie’s illness, the progression and treatment, and how he’d been a stand-in for the father who was in the Army. I wondered if it was why he wasn’t taking new patients, but I didn’t ask. Hearing the vulnerability in his voice, his caring words erased the doctor image in my head. At that moment, he wasn’t Superman either. He was just a man, and I had to resist the urge to comfort him.
At the gift shop, we plowed through the stuffed animal bin searching for a sloth of all things. I wasn’t sure I’d even recognize it if I saw it. I held up an elephant. “How about this one, Daniel?”
“Oh, uh…”
“Is it all right if I call you that?” Once I’d heard his niece say it, Dr. Harrison seemed too formal.
“Sure.” He smiled. “And no to the elephant, but you’re close on the color.”
“I hope we find it,” I said, rummaging. “But why a sloth anyway?”
“I don’t know. She said she liked the smile or something.”
As we searched, a few animals fell to the floor. We laughed together piling them back into the bin.
Daniel’s smile grew even wider, and I stared in awe at the sheer beauty of it. “What?” I asked.
“I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen her this happy in a while. She didn’t have many friends…before. And once she was diagnosed, it got worse. All this time. Everything my sister and I have tried to help her get through this.” He shook his head.
“And all she needed was a friend,” I said. “Someone her own age.”
He nodded as his warm eyes connected with mine. We stayed that way for a short time as if we were both trying to see inside the other. I tore my gaze away at the heated sensation that made its way through my belly. Looking down into the pile of fluff, I still felt his stare on me.
“I hope…” he said after a few seconds.
I glanced up and tilted my head, waiting.
“I’d like Alyssa to be able spend some regular time with Jessie. I mean, I hope that won’t be an issue.” His voice showed his uncertainty.
“What do you mean…an issue?”
“I hope that this situation with you, and that I said I couldn’t…”
“Wait a minute.” I folded my arms across my chest. “Do you think I would stop her because of you?”
He shrugged and started to speak.
“Oh my God.” My voice rose; my pulse instantly increased. “Did I say anything? Did I even ask you about it today?” I began wildly digging through the animal pile. “I don’t need you.” I picked up a stuffed alligator by the tail and pointed it at him. “I’m not going to hurt the girls’ friendship because of you! Wow, talk about an ego.”
“Gray, I just…you’re right. It was a stupid thing to say. I’m sorry. But, I would like to know that you’re moving forward as Dr. Wallace suggested.”
“Yeah well, I’m starting to rethink all of that. The whole thing was a big misunderstanding and the only reason I even agreed to it was because…I don’t even want to get into that now.”
“It’s really none of my business. Again, I apologize.”
I looked up and met his thoughtful eyes, finding it a challenge to stay angry. Then, I heard a voice behind me.
“Kate?”
I turned to see a muscly, red-haired man in gym clothes carrying a water bottle. I recognized his face in an instant but couldn’t place him. I made an abrupt turn back to the bin as if I assumed he wasn’t talking to me.
“Kate.” Two fingers lightly touched my elbow.
Daniel eyed me and then the stranger curiously. I turned, prepared to handle the situation on my own. Daniel’s testosterone beat me to the punch. “Excuse me. You must be mistaken.”
“Oh, I’m not mistaken. Am I, Kate?”
“Yes, I believe you are,” I said matter-of-factly.
“We met at, uh…Gianni’s a few months back.” He smiled as he eye-molested my body from top to bottom.
“Nope. Sorry. You must be thinking of my evil twin,” I said.
As if he hadn’t heard me he said, “Yeah. I remember now. You work for a catering business. And you gave me some bogus number.” He stepped up closer to me, and his voice took on a hard tone. “I know because I called it like an idiot.”
Daniel grabbed my wrist, catching me completely off guard, pulling me back as he stepped between Red and me. “Look, there’s obviously been a misunderstanding here. Whatever happened doesn’t matter, because she doesn’t want to talk to you now.”
“Maybe you should let her decide that.” He attempted to make eye contact with me over Daniel’s shoulder.
Daniel became a wall and shook his head. “I don’t think so.” Red may have been beefier, but Daniel had him in height. He solidified his barricade with a chest full of air, staring at the man as if he had nefarious intentions.
My initial anxiety over the situation slowly seeped away, turning to attraction for a man who’d just stepped out of his seemingly passive demeanor and into aggressor mode. At the same time, I couldn’t let him get dragged into my mess. “Daniel, it’s okay. Maybe he and I should have a little chat.” I pulled my arm away and started to step around him.
“No!” He shot his arm out in front of me. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
The stare down lasted a few more seconds before the guy peeked at his watch and a pained expression came over his face. “Look, forget it. I don’t have time for this BS anyway.” He took a few steps backward and then turned to walk to the register. I stood, staring at the back of him as he paid for his water, embarrassed to look over at Daniel. I envisioned the range of emotions on display: confusion, pity, and awkwardness. As the man left the shop, he pointed to Daniel with the water bottle and said, “Watch your back with that one.”
I ambled back to the animal bin with my head down and began a slow sift through the pile.
Daniel followed my lead, letting me believe I would not have to answer for what happened. After a minute of us both going through the motions, he said, “Do you want to tell me what that was all about?”
“Not really.” I picked up a black and white kitten that reminded me of Alyssa and brushed my hand over its fur. “I am sorry. I could have handled it myself, but thank you for what you did.”
He reached over and touched my hand on the kitten to get my attention. “Gray…don’t you see? This is the kind of thing that will continue to happen unless you do something about it.”
My head snapped up, my brows joined together in defense. “Hey, don’t you presume to know anything about me. You didn’t want to know, remember? So, don’t pretend to care now.” I tossed the toy back into the bin. “We’re never going to find that thing.” I started to walk toward the door.
“Gray, wait.”
I sent a quick glance over my shoulder. “Look, don’t worry about it. Please, tell Alyssa to meet me in the car, okay?”
“Stop.” He gripped my arm, and I halted. He let go in an instant when I eyed his hand on me. “Just because I couldn’t take you on as a patient doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Why would you say that?”
His concerned expression disturbed me, causing my feet to move again, this time on the double. Daniel followed. I couldn’t tell if I was mad or embarrassed. I sure as hell wasn’t feeling grateful like any sane person would. “We barely know each other,” I said, grabbing the door. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay out of your hair. I’ll make sure Alyssa keeps in touch with Jessie, but you won’t have to deal with me professionally or otherwise.”
* * *
I didn’t speak the majority of the way home; Alyssa didn’t seem to notice. Unlike the way there, this time she was glued to her phone, texting Jessie. The t
hought filled me with warmth and helped alleviate some of the tension that had built up inside my head at the mere thought of Dr. Not So Feel Good. He was under my skin—a dangerous place to be.
As we neared home, my head clouded with confusion, refusing to admit Daniel may have been right. But, I also wanted to be free from the binds of my past and all the issues that constantly surrounded me. Plus, Evyn would kill me if I didn’t go through with this. Even worse, she would fire me. I flashed back to Daniel grabbing my wrist, the sight of him stepping protectively in front of me, staring down the red-headed terminator. The image was damn hot, but at the same time, debilitating. He forced me to be vulnerable, to allow him to diminish my own protective instincts.
As I pulled off the freeway, I’d settled into the notion of taking control of my life. At this point, that would mean towing the line, at least for a little while. Shit, I’d faked my way through plenty of relationships, parties, and meetings. I could handle six more months. And if I happened to exorcise a few demons with the help of someone from Dr. Wallace’s geek squad, then that would be a bonus. I’d planned to finally make use of the indestructible referral list when I arrived home. First, I had to get Alyssa squared away.
As promised, we stopped at the duck pond and unloaded the loaf of stale bread. The sun baked over the dark green water, while the ducks enjoyed their fancy feast. I practically had to drag her away when it was time to go, and I was tempted to check her sweatshirt for ducklings. Once, she’d left her jacket at my apartment. When I went to check her pockets for her phone, my hand made contact with something furry and squirming. I put the jacket into the bathtub until she arrived. “That’s just Mr. McKenzie,” she’d said, pulling the white rat out and holding him up. “Why that name?” I’d asked. “Oh, I named him after his daddy…my science teacher.” She’d left that day wearing a large devious grin.
After the duck pond, I took her to have the key made. I waited in the car, so I could call Nathan and ask if he we could get together the next day. It was time to make things right with him. When Alyssa came out, she gave me a key. “I had two extras made, but don’t tell my mom.”
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