by Minot, Diana
Whitney constantly texted Rachel. Now that she had happy news to share, she was more motivated to catch up with her Texas friend. Whitney had avoided Rachel’s phone calls and seldom texted her after Rachel had said “I told you so” in response to Whitney’s worries about law school. Now, Rachel seemed genuinely happy for her, and Whitney felt a pang of guilt that she had been avoiding her best friend. She vowed to spend as much time as possible with Rachel when she went home to Texas for Christmas.
Thursday night, the night before their last midterm, Whitney and Ben reserved a study room in the library. There were several rooms that could be reserved, many with whiteboards so you could sketch ideas out as you studied. It was nice to have a room with a door that closed, too, so you did not have to worry about disturbing other students when you wanted to discuss a question with your study buddy. Whitney secretly hoped that Ben might steal a few extra kisses since they were behind closed doors, but, so far, he had been intensely focused on his work. Whitney could not blame him. Although midterms did not count for a large percentage of final course grades, it was the first chance to truly see how you would handle the pressure of exams.
Whitney should have been as focused as Ben on studying, but the week was wearing on her. She wanted to go out for dinner and a glass of wine and forget that she had a crucial test to take tomorrow. Elise was probably having a glass of wine right now. She told Whitney that she cut off studying at 8 p.m. the night before a test because it was important to allow the brain to relax for a bit before the actual exam. Whitney was half-tempted to call Elise and see if she could go over and relax with her, but she was not sure how Elise would take it. Elise and Jamie were a bit miffed with Whitney for blowing them off to study with Ben all week. Whitney felt guilty about it, but hoped the girls would forgive her once midterms were over. After all, it was the first week that she and Ben were together. Everyone knows the first week of a new relationship is the honeymoon period, when couples are notorious for unashamedly spending every moment together. Who can blame them? Everything is so new and fresh. Of course, most honeymoon weeks are not your first week of midterms at law school. Whitney frowned. She decided to email her study outline for tomorrow’s exam to Elise and Jamie as a gesture of goodwill. It was probably not that helpful this late in the game, but better late than never, right?
She formatted a quick email wishing them good luck and saying she hoped the outline might help. After she hit send, she looked at the clock on her computer and sighed. 8:45. She had not eaten dinner yet, and the gnawing in her stomach was growing more insistent by the minute. Ben was still concentrating intently on his laptop screen. She admired his chiseled face, and took in the blue of his eyes as they scanned his notes. She was already looking forward to kissing him good night. The feel of his lips on hers was always so thrilling, like a burst of hot passion in the middle of a cold Chicago night. She was frustrated that this week was so busy. She wanted more than just a quick kiss good night. She wanted more than the brief moments of electricity when he squeezed her arm.
“Kiss me,” she said suddenly, without thinking about it. Ben looked up, surprised.
“Whitney, we’re in the middle of the library.”
“So what? The door’s closed. No one can see us. Kiss me.”
“Whitney…”
Whitney did not wait to hear Ben’s next excuse. She stood up and moved his laptop aside, then sat on the table where it had been. She pulled Ben’s head into her chest and wrapped her legs around his upper body. His back felt so strong. She felt a wave of desire run through her body as her hands ran through his hair and down across his muscular back.
“Whit…” Ben tried again, but his voice sounded less sure this time.
“Shut up,” Whitney said, and reached to tilt his head up with her hands. She put her lips on his and kissed him deeply. Not like the slow, sweet goodnight kisses they had been sharing, but a passionate, thirsty kiss. She felt his body relax in her arms, and she pushed her tongue into his mouth. Their tongues danced, the ecstasy building as all thoughts of studying faded.
Ben reached up and unbuttoned Whitney’s blouse, then stood and pushed her down onto the table. His hands slowly caressed her bare stomach, moving up to her heaving breasts. He swiped their notebooks onto the floor, papers fluttering into chaos as he climbed onto the table and knelt over her. His knees straddled her legs as he slid his hands back to her breasts, massaging them. Whitney moaned, feeling the warm, tingling pressure from Ben’s touch building in her body. They rolled onto their sides on the table, one of her legs reaching over and across his legs, pulling him close. Their kisses grew more urgent as the electric current between them grew in force. Whitney, forgetting where she was, moaned louder, drinking in the sensation of Ben’s body against hers. He suddenly pulled back his face from hers, panting for air.
“Do you have a condom?” he asked, his voice breathless, as though he had just finished a lengthy run. “I don’t have one on me.”
“No,” Whitney answered. “Shit. No, I don’t.” She slowly started to disentangle her body from his, the moment broken. She had not intended for things to go quite this far in the middle of the library. Neither of them had been prepared for this possibility.
Ben tried to pull her back. “It’s probably okay, right? I’m fine with it.”
But Whitney shook her head, feeling as though the fog in the room was lifting. One thing Whitney had been religious about since she lost her virginity at sixteen was safe sex. Ben’s willingness to so quickly forgo protection only strengthened her resolve. If he would so easily take a risk with her, then he probably had done so with others before her. Besides, Whitney was not on birth control right now. She had not seen the reason to bother since it had been so long since she was in a relationship, and she had never seemed to get the hang of casual sex or the whole friends with benefits thing. The last thing she wanted to deal with right now was an unplanned pregnancy.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she said, slowly sitting up and buttoning her shirt.
Ben looked like he might protest for a moment, but then sat up and nodded. “Okay, beautiful,” he said, kissing her softly on her cheek. “But this was a nice study break.”
Whitney smiled. “It was a nice study break.” She helped Ben gather up their notes that had been scattered all over the floor, then looked at her watch. 9:10.
“I should probably get home. I want to make sure I have a good night’s sleep before the exam,” she said.
“Come stay the night with me,” he said.
Whitney shook her head no. “I’d love to, but I don’t have any of my stuff or any clothes with me.” She did not add that they both knew that if she went over to his place right now, they were not going to be sleeping any time soon. As much as Whitney would have loved to spend the night with Ben, she had to put law school first. She had one more midterm to get through. Ben would still be there tomorrow night.
“Come on, it’ll save you the travel time back and forth,” Ben pleaded.
Whitney shook her head no again. “Eye on the prize, mister.”
“You are the prize,” Ben said, pulling her close. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her forehead. Whitney felt a thrill run through her veins, and for a moment she was tempted to give in and go to Ben’s place for the night. But before she had a chance to say so, Ben sighed and spoke again.
“Come on, I’ll drive you home.”
Chapter Twelve
The next morning, Whitney got to school at 7:30 a.m., the hour the library opened. She reserved a study room with the front desk, careful to choose a different one from the room where she and Ben had been the night before. She was not sure she wanted to revisit the scene right now. The library looked different in the morning light, almost harsh. Whitney took her notes and laptop to the room and shut the door behind her, trying to shut out the chaos in her mind as well.
She had not heard from Ben this morning, but it was still early. They were both
exhausted by the time he dropped her off at her apartment last night. After a quick goodnight kiss, Whitney had gone up to her apartment, silenced her complaining stomach with a bowl of cereal, and fallen into a deep sleep. Normally, after nearly having sex in the library, she would have been unable to sleep. She would have replayed the scenario over and over in her mind, scrutinizing it from every possible mental angle. But last night, after a week of relentless study, she had given in to sleep immediately.
Today, however, refreshed by a few hours of sleep and several cups of coffee, her mind would not stop racing. She was halfway hoping that Ben would show up to school early, too, and text her. At the same time, she was terrified of the idea. She needed to sort out her feelings about Ben. While she definitely wanted to continue her relationship with him, she had realized on the way to school this morning that she was not sure it was even accurate to say that she and Ben were “in a relationship,” or that he was her boyfriend. Although they had spent most of the last week together, they had never been on a real date. Well, not unless you count the night they drank too much wine at Francesca’s, which Whitney did not. They had never had “the talk.” Their romance consisted of a lot of flirtation and a little bit of kissing. That was not necessarily a bad thing, but Whitney realized it was probably in her best interests to make sure Ben wanted their relationship to go somewhere before sleeping with him. Although she felt she was overdue for a little bit of fun, she knew her feelings for Ben were too strong for any kind of physical relationship with him to feel “casual” to her.
The handle on the study room’s door turned and Whitney looked up, surprised. Someone must have decided to use the room without bothering to reserve it. People did this occasionally and it annoyed Whitney, since all you had to do was sign in on a spreadsheet at the library’s front desk to reserve a room. Lazy asses.
But when the door opened fully, Whitney was startled to see Kate standing in the doorframe. Kate stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.
“Kate, what are you doing here? I reserved this room.”
“Don’t play dumb, Whitney,” Kate said, crossing her arms in a challenging stance.
“I’m not playing dumb, Kate. I have no idea what you’re doing here. But I really need to finish studying for this exam, so I’d appreciate it if you left and let me work.”
“You know what this is about!” Kate hissed. “Stay away from Ben! I’ve seen you two together this whole week. I’ve been working all semester to get his attention, and I’m not going to let some trash like you swoop in and steal him.”
Whitney’s jaw dropped. Kate was jealous enough of her relationship with Ben that she had sought her out in the library to tell her off. How pathetic.
Kate slammed her palm on the table. Her outfit and hair were impeccable, but her face was flushed red with anger. “I wish you would just go back to where you came from, but since you’re probably not smart enough to do that, just stay the hell away from Ben.”
“Get a life, Kate. You don’t own him. Now, if you don’t mind, I would like to finish studying.”
Kate exploded. “Stay the hell away! You don’t belong here! You don’t know how to dress or act. You’re bringing down the law school’s reputation with your cheap clothes and frizzed out hair. You don’t deserve Ben.” Kate’s voice had risen until she was literally yelling. Whitney could not believe this was happening. Was she back in high school? Was a grown woman really standing in front of her and throwing a temper tantrum because a guy liked Whitney instead of her? And what was with all the personal attacks? Whitney touched her hair. Was it frizzing out already? She had tried so hard to blow dry it straight this morning. Whitney shook her head. It did not matter what her hair looked like. This was quite possibly the most ridiculous confrontation of her adult life.
“Get out, Kate. I’m busy.”
“You get the hell out!” screamed Kate, then she swiped at Whitney’s notebook, sending her papers flying across the room. Ironically, it looked similar to the way Ben had thrown her notebook last night. Whitney sat perfectly still, unsure of what to do or say. A few moments later there was a knock on the door. Neither Whitney nor Kate responded, and the knock repeated.
“Is everything alright in there?”
It was Alex. Whitney had barely seen him all week, but she said a silent prayer of thanks that he had shown up now.
“Hello?” Alex repeated. Whitney wondered how much of Kate’s tirade he had heard.
Kate took one last swipe at the remaining papers on the table, then opened the door and stormed out without even looking at Alex. Alex’s eyes widened as he stepped into the room.
“What the hell is going on in here?”
“Kate just went batshit crazy on me. Literally. She warned me to stay away from Ben. And basically told me that I’m a disgrace to Northwestern Law because my hair is frizzy.”
Alex rolled his eyes upward. “Oh good God. That woman is a bona fide stalker.”
Whitney sighed and started cleaning up her books and notes, reordering everything into neat little stacks. So much for getting extra studying done this morning.
“For the record, your hair is perfect,” Alex said.
Whitney gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks. I just cannot believe Kate would follow me and burst into my study room like that. It’s like she was waiting for an opportunity to get me alone. Creepy.”
“Well, she’s been following me around trying to get information on Ben. Apparently, since I’m his roommate I should know where he is at all times. I haven’t talked to him much since I had strep, though. What is going on with you two, anyways?”
“I’m not sure. We’re sort of…exploring.”
“Do you like him?”
“Yes.”
Alex gave her a funny look, and nodded. “Come on. It’s getting late. We should head to class to make sure we’re not late for that midterm.”
Whitney had lost track of time, and the last thing she wanted to do right now was take an exam. But she did not have much of a choice. Alex picked up her books, and Whitney let him carry them for her as they left the library.
“On the plus side,” Alex said. “I’ve heard that partners at firms are frequently batshit crazy and go on yelling tirades, so maybe Kate’s performance this morning was good practice for firm life.” Whitney rolled her eyes at him and laughed. It was a valid point.
As they walked into the classroom, most of the students had already taken their seats, Ben included. Whitney caught his eye and he smiled at her briefly, but he was obviously distracted. The moments before a law school exam were always tense. Kate was in the room, too, but she was staring at her laptop screen and did not look up at Whitney as she and Alex entered the room. Whitney settled into her seat and began warming up her laptop for the exam.
Two hours later, the exam was over and midterms’ week was finally done. Whitney did not even bother to pick up her books and laptop before making a beeline for Ben and giving him a big hug in plain view of Kate.
“We made it!” Whitney said. She felt Ben’s back stiffen a bit. What was his problem today? He had not texted her this morning, and now he seemed less than thrilled to see her. She did not change the joyous expression on her face, however. Kate was still watching, and Whitney wanted to make it clear that she was celebrating with Ben.
“Do you want to celebrate tonight?” Whitney asked. “We could go back to that Italian place. I loved their food!”
“I’m sorry, Whit, but I think I’m going to go home and get some rest. I’m exhausted.”
“Okay,” Whitney said, trying to keep her voice upbeat. “Sure, get some rest. You need to recuperate.”
He must have picked up on her disappointment, because, he reached out and squeezed her arm. “Thanks, beautiful. You’re the best.”
A squeeze on the arm felt like a consolation prize after the near-consummation of their relationship last night, but Whitney tried to maintain a happy look. It had been a long week, and Ben
did look exhausted. Whitney wanted to tell him about her confrontation with Kate this morning, but she decided to wait. They would see each other at some point this weekend, and then there would be plenty of time to tell him.
Whitney walked back to her laptop and started putting her things away. She looked up a moment later to see Elise and Jamie heading her way.
“Whitney!” Elise said. “Thanks for that outline you sent. I didn’t have much time to look at it before this exam, but it will be super helpful for the final!”
Whitney smiled. It was so good to see her two friends. She instantly regretted not studying with them more over the last week. Elise’s enthusiasm was so contagious. She reached out and gave Elise a hug.
“You’re welcome! We made it through midterms, guys! Can you believe it?”
“I cannot,” Jamie said. “I’m seriously exhausted. I think this afternoon’s plans include going home and taking a ridiculously long nap.”
“Do you guys want to grab some lunch before going home to crash? I’m starving,” Elise said.