by Minot, Diana
Did Ben mean that he and Kate were just friends? Or was he trying to say that he and Whitney were just friends? Whitney did not have much time to ponder the question. Kate lunged free of Alex’s grip and swung at Whitney, but Ben stepped in between them at the last moment. Kate’s fist made contact with Ben’s face instead of Whitney’s. Whitney watched in shock, her mouth hanging wide open as she saw Ben grimace with pain. The next thing she knew, a pair of strong arms had wrapped around her and were dragging her toward the exit.
“Let’s get out of here.” It was Alex.
“But, Ben…” Whitney said.
“He’s fine.”
“But…”
“Now, Whitney!” Alex said, not giving her much of a choice as he pulled her away from the growing crowd. Kate was screaming at Ben, and Ben was holding a hand over his eye where Kate’s punch had landed. Someone screamed something taunting at Kate, and she responded by taking a swing at them. With her last glance back as Alex dragged her out, Whitney saw Kate hurl another punch in the direction of a tall man she did not recognize.
“Wait, Alex! What about Elise and Jamie?”
“They’re fine. Lincoln was with them. I’m sure they’ll understand that you needed to leave.” Alex continued pulling Whitney along until they were a good two blocks away from the bar, then he turned and started looking for a cab. Whitney had no idea what was going on, but she was angry that Ben had been interrupted in the middle of whatever he had been about to say. From his tone, it had sounded like things were going in a good direction.
“Alex, I can get myself home just fine,” Whitney protested.
Alex shook his head. “Ben won’t be happy if I send you off on the bus alone at this hour.” A cab pulled up at Alex’s signal and Alex opened the door for Whitney. “In. Now.”
Whitney wanted to protest again. She was getting tired of Alex bossing her around. But something in Alex’s tired eyes made her think better of it, and she climbed into the cab. Alex gave the driver Whitney’s address, and then turned to look at her.
“Ben and I think Kate has a problem.”
“Well, that’s obvious,” Whitney said, her voice full of annoyance.
“No, Whitney. I’m serious. Like an alcohol problem. She’s constantly drinking, and she gets out of control when she does. Remember when she burst in on you in the study room last semester?”
“That wasn’t because she was drunk. It was only, like, eight in the morning!” Whitney said.
“I know what time it was,” Alex said. Understanding dawned on Whitney.
“Oh, shit,” she said. “But if you think she’s an alcoholic, why the hell would you bring her to Bar Review.”
Alex slumped in the cab seat. He looked exhausted. “She insisted on going. She’s still stalking Ben, and she came by and asked us to go. Ben actually didn’t want to go this week, but Kate threatened to go by herself. Ben knows that means she would get raging drunk, with no one to look out for her. So he came with her, and I tagged along to help. Of course, then you showed up and Ben forgot about watching Kate, so I ended up with that job. It’s not a fun job, let me tell you.”
Whitney took a moment to process all of this. She felt guilty. She had been so busy judging Kate that she had not realized Kate was struggling.
“There has to be a way to help her,” Whitney finally said.
Alex nodded. “She promised me she would go to the school’s counseling service. It’s free for students. But I don’t know if she’ll still want to do me any favors after tonight. She was so mad at me for trying to keep her away from you and Ben. Although, it’s also possible she won’t even remember what happened.” Alex rubbed his forehead and then stared out the window for several minutes without speaking.
“Hey, are you okay?” Whitney asked.
“Yeah, it’s just…I was warned that law was a crazy profession. But some of the stuff I’ve seen over the last week has made me question whether I should have taken those warnings more seriously. But, you know, I’m already seventy-five thousand dollars in the hole on student loans for this degree, so I’m not sure I can just walk away at this point.”
Whitney nodded. She had moments where she wanted to walk away, too. There were a lot of challenges to becoming a lawyer that were not clear from the glossy brochures you received from law schools and law firms. The legal profession had quite a dark underbelly.
“Do you want to come up and chill for a bit?” Whitney asked as the cab pulled up to her building. Alex shook his head no.
“Thanks, but I should get home. It’s late, and it’s been quite a day.”
Whitney nodded, and gave Alex a quick hug. As she rode the elevator up to her floor, she checked her phone. She had a text from Elise that said We need a debrief tomorrow! She also had a text from Ben: Hey, so sorry about tonight. Things with Kate have been complicated lately. Can we finish our conversation over dinner at Francesca’s? Whitney stared at the text for a few moments and then dropped her phone back into her purse. She was starting to feel like she needed to put some space between herself and Ben. But even as she ignored his text and let herself into her apartment, she knew she would never say no to his dinner invitation.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Whitney still had not replied to Ben’s text when she arrived at the law school the next day, and Ben cornered her before their first class.
“Hey, I’m so sorry about last night,” he said. His face was bruised where Kate’s fist had made contact with it the night before. “Did you get my text?”
“Yeah, sorry, I forgot to reply. Of course I’ll go to dinner with you,” Whitney said.
“Tonight?”
“Sure, tonight works,” Whitney said. It was Friday night and she felt a little pathetic for not already having other plans, but she was too tired to bother with acting like she had to check her schedule.
“Alex said he explained to you about Kate,” Ben said.
“Yeah. Is she okay?”
“I guess.” Ben sighed. “I don’t know what to do about her. I mean, she needs help, and I want to help her. But I’m also not interested in dating her, and every time I even take a moment to talk to her she sees it as encouragement to keep stalking me.”
Ben’s answer made Whitney feel a little ashamed that she had been angry with him for spending so much time with Kate, when it was actually just more proof of what a good, caring guy he was.
Before Whitney could figure out what else to say, they were interrupted by Elise, who spotted them at the end of the hallway and made a beeline for them.
“Oh my god, Whitney. What happened last night?” Elise said. “I can’t believe the way Kate was acting! And Ben, are you okay? She punched you good!”
“I’m fine,” Ben said, uncomfortable at Elise’s loud interruption. Whitney decided she needed to explain things before Elise made a complete fool of herself.
“I’ll see you tonight, Ben,” Whitney said, and then grabbed Elise’s arm. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”
“What’s going on?” Elise asked.
“I have a lot to tell you,” Whitney said, and glanced at her watch. They still had forty-five minutes before class would begin. Where’s Jamie?”
“She’s on her way over right now, why?”
“Text her and tell her to meet us for coffee. We need to talk.”
Thirty minutes later, Whitney had finished recounting the entire story from the night before, and Elise and Jamie were sitting across from her looking a little dazed.
“Wow,” Jamie said. “I guess in retrospect it should have been kind of obvious. I always thought it was pretty extreme the way she burst in on you in the study room last semester.”
“Yeah,” Whitney said. “I guess it makes more sense now. I hope she does get help like she promised Alex she would.”
“So, are you still going to try to date Ben?” Elise asked.
Whitney was confused. “Why wouldn’t I?
“Well, it just seems like a lot of trou
ble. As long as Kate is into him and is dealing with an alcohol problem, you’re going to face a lot of fireworks like last night if you keep seeing him.”
“I’m not going to just stop seeing him. I hope Kate gets help, and I have more patience for her crazy actions now that I know why she is acting that way. But I don’t think it’s fair for me to have to put my own life and interests on hold because of her.”
Elise shrugged. “I was just asking. I still personally don’t see why you’re so into Ben. It seems like you could find someone better and it would be so much less complicated.”
“I like him a lot. It’s worth it to me,” Whitney said. Normally she would have been angry with Elise for asking questions like that. But she had to admit that Elise had a point. Whitney and Ben had a lot of chemistry. Anytime Ben touched Whitney, she felt like a jolt of electricity had shot through her. She craved his touch, and she desperately wanted him to kiss her again. But the more she got to know him, the more she was beginning to feel that the attraction was only physical. He was a nice guy, but did they actually have that much in common? Most of the time they had been “together” they had spent studying. But if you took away the common ground of law school, was there anything else there? Whitney pushed these thoughts aside. She might as well go have dinner with Ben tonight. Maybe a chance to hang out with him again without midterms on the agenda would help her see whether there was more than just physical attraction there. Besides, there was nothing wrong with having a little fun, right?
* * *
That evening, Whitney sat across from Ben at a candlelit table, stealing glances at him while scanning the menu. The atmosphere was romantic, and Ben looked gorgeous in a nice pair of jeans and a checkered button-down shirt. The tips of his dark hair were illuminated golden in the soft light. He asked about a bottle of wine and Whitney let him choose, silently vowing not to drink as much wine as she had the last time they were at dinner together.
They made small talk as they ate their way through the menu, ordering two appetizers in addition to their entrées. Although Whitney thought she could not possibly eat another bite, she did not refuse when the server handed her a dessert menu. Ben had ordered a second bottle of wine without asking if Whitney wanted it, but Whitney figured she would just let Ben drink most of it. As she debated which dessert to order, Ben started talking about his spring break plans.
“I’m going to Greece with Lincoln,” he said. “I know it’s a little extravagant, but I’ve always wanted to go. And I need a week somewhere warmer!”
Whitney smiled at him. “That sounds nice,” she said. A few months ago, an announcement like this from Ben would have thrown her into a despair about how much wealthier he was than her. Now, she was starting to care less. The events of the last few months made Ben seem less out of reach. He did have more money, but he was still flawed and human, just like her.
Ben continued describing his travel plans, and then said, “I don’t know if you already have plans for break. I know Jamie told Lincoln that she’s going to Saint Thomas with Elise, so maybe you’re going with them. But, if not, you’re welcome to join Lincoln and me in Greece.”
“That’s sweet of you to ask, but I think Greece is out of my budget,” Whitney said. She was curious whether Ben’s family was still having financial trouble like Alex seemed to think. Whitney was pretty sure she would not be taking a trip to Greece if her family was having financial troubles.
“It wouldn’t be that bad,” Ben said. “We could share a hotel room, and we can eat at cheaper places.”
Whitney shook her head. “It’s still too much of a stretch for me,” she said, and wondered if the offer to share a room was meant as an indication that he was interested in being a couple, or was just a friendly gesture to try to help her out with vacation expenses.
Ben looked disappointed but just nodded his head. “Okay. Well, if you change your mind, the offer stands.” Then he changed the subject to talk about his mother’s latest art project. Whitney only half-listened. Ben paid for the meal, then asked Whitney if she wanted to go check out a martini bar that had received rave reviews. Whitney shook her head no and said she was tired, so Ben offered to drive her home.
Whitney was quiet on the drive home, staring out the window and only occasionally grunting in response to Ben’s remarks. Eventually, he fell silent, too. As they pulled up in front of her building, he looked at her and asked, “Are you okay?”
Whitney took a deep breath. “Ben, what are we doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. What’s going on with us? I mean, we spent all this time together last semester. We almost even spent the night together. Then you disappear and reappear. Now we sort of go on a date, but I’m not sure if it was a real date and…I don’t know. I just want to know what’s going on.” Whitney looked over at Ben, who was staring straight ahead.
“Whitney, look, I like you. But things in my life have been crazy lately. I want to spend time with you. I want you to think of this as a real date. But I want to take things slowly. And I don’t want you to feel as though we need to be exclusive or anything like that. Let’s just have fun and get to know each other better. See where that goes.”
“Why are things so crazy? Because of Kate?” Whitney’s heart pounded and she struggled to keep her eyes from welling up.
“No, Whit, trust me, I’m not interested in her at all. I’m just trying to help her the best way I know how. I’m just not ready to commit to something serious with anyone right now.” He turned and looked at her. “Let’s just explore things slowly. Can you be okay with that?”
“Sure,” she said, even though she did not feel okay with it. But what was she supposed to say? Something was better than nothing. Ben smiled at her and leaned over to give her a hug. He held her for a moment and stroked her back, and she breathed in his familiar smell. She felt the same electricity coursing through her body that she always felt when he touched her, and she wondered if he felt it, too. He must not, she decided, because he would not want to take things slowly if he did.
Ben eventually pulled back and kissed Whitney on the forehead. Her cue that the night was over. She smiled at him bravely and got out of the car to head up to her apartment, letting herself in and standing in the dark for a moment before turning on the light. She was proud of herself for stepping up and asking Ben to define what was going on between them. But the answer had been disappointing. When a guy said he wanted to take things slowly, that usually meant he was not that interested.
Whitney turned on the lights and went to the kitchen for a glass of water. She knew deep down that it would be better to let Ben go. She was extremely attracted to him, but he did not share the same level of attraction. Then there was the Kate issue. While it was not Ben’s fault, the fact that Kate was obsessed with him did make things complicated. But despite Whitney’s misgivings, she could not deny the way she felt around Ben.
She set down her glass of water and sighed. He was a good catch, and if it took a while to catch him, well, that’s just the way things were sometimes.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The next few weeks seemed to drag by as the cold January weather turned into even colder February weather. Ben and Whitney frequently ate lunch together, and went out to dinner a few more times. Things were friendly between them, but Whitney felt like they were not making any progress toward a relationship. She told herself to be patient and let things happen naturally, and, for the most part, she stuck to that plan. Kate still followed Ben around constantly, but Whitney did her best to just avoid her. Alex told Whitney that Kate was working on confronting her problems. Whitney just nodded and did not ask for more details.
One morning, Lincoln came to class looking particularly distraught. At lunch with Elise and Jamie that afternoon, Whitney asked about it.
“What’s wrong with Lincoln? I’ve never seen him with such a gloomy face. Not even the day grades came out!” Whitney said.
“P
rofessor Neals chose a research assistant, and he did not choose Lincoln,” Jamie said.
“Oh, no!” Whitney said. There was no need for further explanation. Lincoln would have been devastated when he heard the news. “What is he going to do for a summer job, then?”
“He doesn’t know,” Jamie said. “He had no backup plan.”
“Oh, shit,” Elise said. “I’m staying far away from him for at least a week. Probably more. Speaking of jobs, how are your job searches going? I haven’t heard back from a single place I applied to. Looks like no law firm job for me this summer.” Elise made her signature pouty face, but did not seem too distressed.
“My internship with my old job is all set up,” Jamie said. “Which means I’ll be in New Orleans all summer.”
“Gross,” Elise said. “Your hair is going to be insane all summer long.”
“It won’t be the first time,” Jamie said.
“What about you, Whit?” Elise asked. “How is the job search going?”
“Um,” Whitney said.
“Um?”
“I still haven’t started applying.”
Elise narrowed her eyes at her. “I won’t give you a long lecture, Whitney, but you should think about applying for some stuff. It’s already February.”
“I know, I know,” Whitney said.
Elise was right. Whitney went home that evening and worked on her résumé and a cover letter template, but she could not get excited about applying for summer jobs. She searched through the online job listings on the school’s career services page, but nothing struck her interest. Over the next few weeks, news of summer job offers began to trickle in among the students. Lincoln acted more and more depressed every day, and Whitney could not stand to be around him. Not only was he overly dramatic about his failure to secure a research position with Professor Neals, but his despair over his lack of a job constantly reminded Whitney that she had made hardly any effort toward securing a position for herself.