by Lily White
My grin widened and I pushed up from my crouched position to stalk towards him like death itself was walking.
Finn wasn’t talking anymore and the silence was music to my ears.
Approaching him on slow steps, I gazed down at the man cradling his blown out knee.
“Bet that hurts,” the stock of my gun slammed down on the injured knee, a horrifying roar emitting from Finn’s mouth.
“Bet this will hurt too, you sick fuck,” Another blow to the thigh bone rendered a loud crunch. His thigh bone snapped easier than I’d expected, so I had some fun and took out the other one as well.
Slowly working my way up, I was breaking every bone in his body. He continued screaming out in pain and I sucked in a breath, filled with joy for the sound of it. Turned on by the slow death I was handing him, I broke his hips apart – left and then right – and continued working my way up until every rib was fractured.
I’d intentionally shot him in the leg just to bring him down, but not kill him. And the pain I delivered with each crushing blow was worth not taking a head shot.
Barely able to breathe and writhing around in agony, Finn gasped as blood leaked out of his mouth. Knowing that his organs would shut down soon enough, I took out his arms from the shoulders down to the delicate wrists. With each bone I crushed, I told him why he was getting this beating.
“That’s for treating your sister like garbage.”
My gun hit his right hand crushing every small bone down to his fingers.
“And this is for pissing me off.”
His left hand went next, his throat so torn apart, he was no longer able to scream.
There was only one part left on him intact, and once that was crushed, Finn would no longer be moving.
“And this, you sick son of a bitch, is for ever touching my wife and son.”
The butt of my gun came down on his skull, the bones cracking apart with a putrid crunch. But one hit wasn’t enough, not when it felt like I was possessed by a reaper.
I’ll admit I lost control as I smashed his head in. My muscles flexed, sweat dripped down my brow, and my teeth were gnashed together. Hit after hit rained down on his head until there was nothing left that was identifiable as human. Blood, bone and brain tissue burst up in spurts as my gun rained down blows. Not caring that parts of him were dripping from my arms and legs, I continued beating him into the ground, pulverizing his body into mush.
“Elliot!”
Maggie’s voice rang out through the forest, but it didn’t stop me from beating him some more.
“Damn it, Elliot, stop. He’s dead. You killed him, Elliot. Stop!”
Jerking my gun up to hit him again, I paused with it raised in the air. But my fingers loosened, my tight jaw released, and I looked down at the mess that had once been a man.
A hand touched my bicep, soft and hesitant, and I turned to Maggie to see concern written across her features.
“He’s dead,” she whispered, her eyes meeting mine. “You can stop now, Elliot. It’s over.”
Dear Katie:
It’s been two years since I’ve written you. But it’s time for me to finally leave the past in the past. I don’t really know what there is to say anymore. I still dream about you sometimes. I see the brilliance of your beaming smile. I see the love in your eyes that was always there when you looked at our son and me. I see you dancing in rainbows and throwing your arms up in the air as you twirl through streams of sunlight. You always were so carefree, so glorious because you recognized the beauty that existed in life.
For so many years, you were the light that balanced out the dark parts of me, and when I lost you, the shadows crept in to turn me into something even I didn’t recognize. Nothing mattered when you were gone. Nothing could hold me to this world that hadn’t been the same once you were no longer a part of it.
I don’t want to bother you with the details of what I’ve done. And I don’t want to hurt you with the truth of what happened to Michael. There are no words for the horrors that happened to you both, and I’m still so sorry that I wasn’t there to protect you. I don’t blame myself anymore. I know it wasn’t entirely my fault. I never found your remains or Michael’s, so I buried what I could in your place.
Do you remember the clearing where we used to escape to on the days we skipped school? The one that sat in sunlight beside a pond so shallow we could lay in the water without fear of drowning? I buried you there with Michael. Floppy Bunny now lies beneath four feet of soil in the place where we fell in love – in the place where Michael was most likely conceived. Sunlight shines down on the small patch of ground and I knew on the day I buried it that what I was really burying was my heart.
But I had to let the two of you go. It was the only way I could move forward.
You told me once that even within the worst of circumstances, there is some good that can be found hiding among the evil. I thought you were crazy then, and I remember telling you so, but you laughed because you knew I was too blind to see it. I know now that you were right, Katelyn. And in the deepest, darkest crevices of the evil that stole my family, I found something so pure and true, that the word ‘good’ doesn’t even cover it.
Maggie saved me when nothing else could. She surprises me on a daily basis, even though I’ve now known her for years. We’ve settled in another state, in another small town just like that one we grew up in. I think you would have liked it here, and I know you would have liked Maggie. People look at us funny for our difference in age, but I swear to you that girl is far older than her years. She knows tragedy. Hell, she was forged in it. And the love we have for each other was forged in it, too.
Like two cards balanced on our sides to create an upside down V, the only reason that either of us remain standing is because we lean on each other for support.
She cries at night sometimes. But those moments are becoming less and less frequent as times moves forward. As we move forward with each other.
You were my world for so many years, but I knew you would have never wanted me to be alone. It took me several months to come to that realization, to not feel wrong for loving another. But once I did – once I remembered who you were and how much you loved me – I was able to truly love again.
I want you to hug our son for me, Katie. I want you to tell him his father is proud of him and will love him forever. And I want you to know that I’m not alone anymore. A strong woman found me and pieced all the broken parts of my heart back together.
It’s amazing to me how the spirit is so resilient, how despite the bleak tragedies that suffocate our lives in undeniable pain, we find the means to move forward and to seek out happiness again. So, perhaps you were right to tease me when I was pissed off and moody. Perhaps you were the smarter one all along to believe that even in the darkest corners, there is light.
I should have listened to you all those years ago, but I guess I had to go out and figure it out for myself. I always was a stubborn ass. You’ll be happy to know that hasn’t changed much, and that Maggie’s the type of woman to remind me.
Until the next time I see you in dreams.
Elliot
Tearing the page out of the notebook on which I’d scrawled my last letter, I tossed it into the flames that flickered softly in the fireplace. It was my final goodbye to a past riddled with heartache, a dividing line and defining moment where I could say I finally let go.
Two years had passed quickly since the night Maggie and I walked out of that forest together. Returning to town, we packed up everything we considered important, said our goodbyes to the town – to Henry – and we moved north.
We’ve been living together ever since, learning about each other, learning about ourselves, and coming to the understanding that we were stronger for being together and that we’d never let go of one another again.
I still suffer some hard times, especially when the nightmares creep in and disturb my sleep, but the pain of those memories are becoming less and less frequent, the p
assage of time a soothing balm on a heart that was no longer weak.
After watching that letter burn to nothing but ash, I stepped away from the small office I’d set up in the back of our house. Banging from outside drew my attention, and I pulled aside the curtain to discover the source of the racket.
Maggie’s feet were sticking out from beneath a ’69 Mustang, a rundown car we’d purchased as a project to restore. Although I believed she was running just fine with all the work we’d put into her, Maggie wasn’t convinced. She reminded me of Henry in that way, always in search of perfection. It’s the reason I’d made her my business partner when I opened my auto shop on the outskirts of town.
Huffing out a breath of frustration, I swore under my breath and stormed through the house. The door slammed open from how hard I tugged it and dirt kicked up around my feet as I took long legged strides in the direction of my wife.
“What in the hell do you think you’re doing under that car? Have you lost your damn mind?”
This woman was going to give me a heart attack one of these days, and I loved her more because of it.
Pushing out from under the car, she smiled up at me from the mechanic’s creeper on which she laid. Her hair was a mess of black curls around her head and there was a small smudge of dirt and oil running across her cheek. She looked just as fierce beneath a car as she did on the hunt against evil. I couldn’t stay mad at her for long.
“I took the car out to grab us lunch, but I heard something rattling around. I’m just checking that everything you installed is bolted in right.”
My lips pulled into a wide smile. “Uh, huh. And you’re so sure it was me who messed something up? There isn’t a possibility it was you?”
Her grin matched mine, her green eyes sparkling with humor. “Hell no. I’m the one who saved your ass when your truck broke down years ago. Or don’t you remember?”
Laughter shook my shoulders. Even knowing that I’d intentionally loosened that battery cable just so I’d have a reason to talk to her, she still wouldn’t let me live down the fact that she’d rescued me.
Reaching down with my hand, I said, “Here, babe, let me help you up.”
She placed the wrench down on the ground beside her, wiped her hands on an old dirty rag and entwined her fingers with mine. A small surprised cry flew from her lips from how fast I pulled her to her feet.
Kissing her forehead softly, I kept my lips pressed to her skin. “You know you won’t be able to fit under that car much longer. I don’t think you should be stressing yourself out or working so hard in your condition.”
Pulling away from me, she cocked a single eyebrow up. “The doctor said I can work as long as my body lets me. I’m not big enough yet to throw in the towel. I can still turn wrenches and you’re not stopping me.”
Spinning her around, I pulled her back to my chest, my hands reaching down to cradle the swell of her stomach. She was only twelve weeks along, and just barely showing, but I knew the time was coming where her body would round out with our growing child.
“Has anybody ever told you that you have a special gift for pissing a man off?”
Laughter vibrated through her body. “I think you’ve mentioned it a time or two.”
“More like a hundred times, but who’s counting?” I grumbled.
Grabbing her hands in mine, I led her into the house determined to convince her to lie down and take a nap. After feeding her lunch, and massaging her shoulders, I finally tucked her into our bed. She was snoring softly by the time her head hit the pillow and I chuckled knowing how angry she’d get when I teased her for it.
A long, deep breath blew out of my lungs as I looked down at the woman who’d become my future. We were two people who’d endured evil, one for a lifetime and the other for a handful of years. Somehow, within the shadows we’d found each other and we’d clung on like the other was the only lifeboat in a sea of unspeakable pain. Through her eyes I saw myself more clearly. And through her heart I’d learned to live again.
Every day I thanked God for the woman beside me because she was the perfect example of everything that is good and true.
Despite the injustices we suffered, despite the nightmares that threatened to tear us apart, it was only because we’d found each other that we were able to love and move forward into the light.
THE END
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