“Is that why you’re so determined to take Tilucci down?” I asked, looking straight into her beautiful eyes.
She nodded. “I know it won’t bring those people back to life, but if I can save other innocent people, then I feel like I can be at peace with myself.”
I took a deep breath. I had no idea that she lived with such guilt. Everything about her made sense now. She wanted a chance to redeem herself for the mistakes she made in the past. Also, since she had been so close to death, I imagined that nothing really scared her anymore. I still worried about her, though. She wasn’t on the battlefield, but she was waging war with Tilucci.
“I’m going to ahead and open the second bottle,” she said. “I’m getting drunk tonight. You can join me if you want.”
“Sure,” I agreed, and she refilled my glass again.
“So,” she said, as she cleared our empty dishes off the table and piled them into the sink, “tell me about you.”
“What about me?” I asked nervously. I hated talking about myself. I had lost so many people over the years that I stopped all contact with everyone from my old life. There were some days that I didn’t speak a word to anyone.
“Did you grow up around here? Do you have any family in the area?”
“Yeah. I grew up on the south side of the city. My family was really poor. My parents didn’t want to be parents, so my brother and I made the rounds through various relatives’ houses. It was tough, but I managed to graduate from high school and go to a two-year tech school. I got hired as a mechanic and have been doing that ever since.”
“How did you get into fighting?”
“I picked that up when I was younger. I was an angry teen and an uncle took me to the boxing ring to teach me how to fight productively instead of scrap in the schoolyard. I liked boxing and training. It gave me something to care about and work toward. One day, my gym entered me in a fight and I was hooked ever since.”
“You won your first fight?”
I laughed. “No, I got the shit kicked out of me. But it was exhilarating. I trained harder and got better. I started earning a little extra cash and then there was no looking back.”
“Does your brother fight too?” she asked, twirling her hair around her finger.
I shook my head. “Danny’s the reason that I got into fighting in the first place. My dad was a real bastard. Danny was always a trouble maker and my dad really let him have it a few times. Dad had a bad temper and Danny loved to press people’s buttons. I often had to draw the heat away from him. I learned how to take a hit that way. I tried to protect him, but in the end, I didn’t do enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“Danny got into trouble with drugs. I tried to help him get clean, but it never lasted. He was just too young to be getting into that kind of stuff, you know? Kids shouldn’t have to need that stuff to feel okay. I had moved away from home and had rented a tiny studio apartment. There was mold growing everywhere and we had roaches, but it was a safe place. The day I went to pick Danny up to bring him home with me, I found him.”
“Oh, my God,” she gasped.
“He overdosed in our family home. By the time the ambulance got there, it was too late. He was gone.”
“I’m so sorry,” she cried. “That’s terrible.”
“I tried to help him, but there was nothing I could do. I spent my entire life protecting him and I couldn’t stop something like that from happening. I want to protect the people I care about so badly, but nothing good ever comes from it. Everything good is always taken away from me. I’m cursed.”
My heart was pounding. I had only ever told one other person about Danny. Every time I thought about him, I saw his lifeless body. The tourniquet tied around his arm, his blue face, the way his eyes bulged from their sockets. It made me feel sick to think about. I washed the sick taste out of my mouth with a gulp of wine.
“I’m so sorry,” she repeated. “No one should have to deal with that. And now, with Tilucci threatening your daughter—” tears welled up in her eyes. “No one should have to endure that much pain.”
I rubbed my face with both palms. If I was going to bare my soul to Jane at this minute, I had to tell her everything. I uttered words that I never thought would come out of my mouth.
“I have to tell you about Emily.”
“Who’s Emily?” she asked cautiously.
“Emily is Arianna’s mom and the love of my life.”
I watched a look of dread sweep over Jane’s face. I knew that I was subjecting her to a lot of depressing information, but I had to finally get everything out into the open.
“I met Emily around the time I started fighting. She always told me she had a thing for the bad boys. She was way too good for me,” I smiled at the memory. “Our relationship was hot and heavy from the start and we ended up with our little surprise. It was a shock, but we loved each other and were ready to do whatever it took to give our baby the best life. I was trapped with Tilucci, but I was trying to get out. I couldn’t raise a daughter as a gang member.”
“So, what happened?”
“Once Arianna was born, I finally approached Tilucci himself. I told him that I had a family now, and I couldn’t work for him any longer. He didn’t like that. He basically told me that he would ruin my life if I tried to leave. Apparently, I had become valuable to him. When Arianna was just a few months old, I just left one day. I got a new phone, moved into a new apartment, and basically cut all ties with Tilucci.”
“Did he find you?”
“Not me, personally. I was at work one day, and I got a call from Tilucci. He told me I had one last chance to come back before he made good on his word. I was feeling bold and told him to fuck off. When I got home that night, the police were parked in my driveway.”
“No,” Jane gasped.
I nodded, feeling a lump in my throat. “He left Arianna untouched, but Emily was gone. He killed her to send a message that he would make good on his threats. The next day, I handed Arianna over to Em’s sister and her husband and never looked back. I had never loved a woman so much, and then she was taken from me.
“That’s why it’s so important for you to protect Arianna,” she breathed.
I blinked my eyes a few times, trying to hide the moisture that was accumulating. “She’s the one good thing I have left in this world.”
“How awful,” she cried.
“That was almost six years ago. Shortly after, you reported on him and he was arrested. I remember seeing you on the news as I finally felt like there was just a smidgen of justice in the world. The police didn’t have a shred of evidence to pin Tilucci for Emily’s murder. But you managed to nail him for something, for the first time in his life. And I was so grateful for that.”
We both took a deep breath and let out a sigh.
“I guess we better finish this bottle,” she said.
I managed a small smile. “We deserve it.”
We drank in silence for a while, enjoying the cathartic release of the secrets we held onto for so long. My chest still ached when I thought about Danny and Emily, but sharing their stories made me feel a little better.
Eventually, our conversation moved on from our most painful secrets to lighter things. We talked about our childhoods and our work. We discussed our plans for taking down Tilucci and our future ambitions. Hours passed like minutes and before we knew it, we had entered the early hours of the morning. We were drunk, sleepy, and emotionally drained.
“I should go,” I said. “If I’m going to go to work tomorrow,” I yawned, “I should get some rest.”
“Are you sure you’re okay to drive home?” she asked before shakily standing up. “You can just stay here.”
“I don’t want to put you out,” I objected. The couch was so comfortable, but I knew once I could dislodge myself, I would be alert. I extended my arm to her. “Help me up, would you?”
She giggled and grabbed onto my hands with hers. She jerked her arms, but I d
idn’t budge. Losing balance, she came crashing down on my lap.
We laughed at our pathetic attempt to be productive adults, ones who drank in moderation and went to bed at a reasonable time. Once the giggles subsided, she lingered where she fell, right on top of me. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I just wanted to kiss her. Every cell in my body screamed at me for not making a move on her.
I wanted to know what was going on between us. If Jane just wanted to use me to scratch an itch that one time, I could understand that. If she wanted more than that, then she wasn’t being very overt about it. I wanted to make a move on her, but I didn’t want her to push me away. I needed her, physically and emotionally.
I pushed the strands of hair covering her face behind her ear so I could see her eyes. She stared back at me intently as I searched for answers to the question bothering me since we had sex in the hotel room.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” I said softly, letting my hand linger behind her ear. “I really want to be with you.”
“Then be with me,” she giggled.
I leaned in and kissed her tenderly on the lips. I could feel her soft mouth stretch out into a smile as she kissed me back. Her lips parted and my tongue found hers, swirling frantically as our mouths opened just a little bit wider.
I wanted to take my time with Jane. Last night was so rushed, so primal. Tonight, I wanted to get to know her better. I felt like we had made a special bond in our shared trauma; so, I felt like I could really open to her.
She straddled me, and I pulled her blouse off over her head, her chest at my eye level. She reached back and undid the clasp of her bra, releasing her heaving bosom in front of my face.
“You’re absolutely gorgeous,” I mused, taking each breast into my mouth, lightly flicking her hard nipples with my tongue.
“Are you just saying that because my tits are out?” she slurred, pushing my head closer.
I leaned back to look her square in the eye. “Not at all. You are absolutely stunning. I mean that.”
She pulled my shirt off in one fluid motion and tossed it across the room. I leaned back and enjoyed the sensations as her lips ran across my neck. I wanted her so badly.
“Let’s go to my room,” she whispered in my ear. I was immediately covered in goose bumps. I followed her to her room and joined her on the bed.
Jane kicked off her jeans and I followed suit. I could no longer hide my desire for her any longer. She slid her hands into my boxers and touched me, slowly working her hands on my body to tease me.
I touched her, knowing that our teasing had gone on long enough. I pulled her on top of me and we took our sweet time, enjoying the feeling of being so close to each other. I couldn’t have been paired with a better partner if I had tried
We made love, slowly and passionately, until we heard the birds begin their morning song, warning us to get a few hours of sleep. Exhausted, but wholly satisfied, we passed out into a deep sleep, a tangle of limbs. As my eyelids slammed shut, I smiled to myself, finally able to feel good after years of misery.
The world was still a dark and dangerous place, but I was willing to push that out of my head so I could enjoy my fleeting time with Jane.
Betrayal
Jane
The last thing I knew I was drifting off to sleep in Bryce’s arms. Then suddenly, I was in the abandoned warehouse turned fighting ring. It was completely dark, save for a few streaks of moonlight, and I was completely alone.
Out of the shadows, Max Malone strode toward me with a sly grin on his face and grabbed me by the wrist. He pulled me over to the wall and pushed me up against it.
I was afraid he was going to hurt me, so I unzipped his pants and pleasured him. However, this wasn’t what he wanted and he yanked me up by my hair. I wanted to scream and run away, but I knew this would upset him, so I plastered a fake smile on my face and tried to kiss him.
“I know what you did,” he hissed in my ear. “I thought you loved me.”
“I do,” I cried, running my hands along his sharp cheekbones. “Let me show you how much I love you.”
“It’s too late for that, Jane,” Max said, his dark eyes smoldering. “We could have been really happy together. You slept around and thought I wouldn’t notice. You’re nothing but a whore, Jane,” he sneered, squeezing my jaw.
“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “Let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything.”
“Anything? Well, if you’re so intent on paying for your sins, I’ll cut a deal with you. If you complete a hit for me, I’ll let you stay in my life. How’s that sound?”
“I’ll do it.”
Suddenly, I had a rifle in my hand and I was walking through the desert. It was hot and my mouth was so dry, but I didn’t have any water on me. In fact, I had nothing on me.
I approached a small shack in the desert and recognized it as Bryce’s house. I didn’t know who was inside, but I knew that he was my target. Shots rang out all around me, even though there were no shooters in sight.
Out of nowhere, a great monster came charging toward me. It had long, spindly legs and a dark hole where the face should have gone. I fired shots at it, but it didn’t slow down. I unloaded every bullet I had until it collapsed a few yards away.
Relieved, I ran toward the beast to send proof that I completed the hit, and the figure changed. Instead of a scary monster, there was Bryce, laying face up on the sand. Next to him, was a small girl with long, strawberry blonde hair, lying face down. Both were motionless, riddled with bullet holes.
I dropped to my knees and screamed, but no one could hear me. The sand whipped my face as I wailed into the great expanse. I heard Max’s laugh, but he was nowhere to be seen.
The next thing I knew, it was light outside, and Bryce was shaking me awake. I was covered in sweat, but absolutely freezing. I yanked the covers up over my naked body.
“What’s wrong?” Bryce asked as I rolled over in bed.
“Nightmare,” I croaked, my mouth dry after drinking all the wine.
“You scared the shit out of me,” he said. “Want me to get you a glass of water?”
I nodded weakly. I watched as he strutted out of the room, wearing nothing but his underwear. He looked incredible, even first thing in the morning.
I tried to shake the bad dream out of my head, but it was all too realistic. I couldn’t think of anything more terrifying than that nightmare. Nightmares were common for people who suffered trauma in war, but this combined my fears from overseas with every current fear that I shoved into the back of my head.
He handed me a glass and I chugged it, feeling slightly sick. I set the glass on the table beside me and lay back down.
“Want to tell me about it?” he offered.
I shook my head. “No, it’s fine.” I wasn’t about to tell him that I dreamt of killing him and his daughter.
“Why did you say Max?” he questioned.
“What?”
“During your dream. You were tossing and turning and you kept saying Max.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “You don’t know Max Malone, do you?”
“We met while I was researching Tilucci all those years ago. I went undercover for a while and befriended him. He didn’t say much, but being around him gave me a glimpse into the inner workings of the mob.”
He tilted his head sideways at me and gave me a funny look. “Did you have long, dark hair back then?”
“Yeah, I think so. Why?”
“You have got to be kidding me,” he groaned, holding his head with his hands. “Honestly, is this what you call investigative journalism?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, rubbing my temples. I was too sleep deprived and hung over to follow.
“I remember hearing about you. Max Malone didn’t keep girls around very often, but I clearly remember everyone talking about some sexy young girl that he was banging. Everyone laughed about it because they just assumed he was gay. Everyone just took his l
ack of interest in women and his snazzy style as a sign that he didn’t like women. When the rumor went around that he was fucking some girl like they were rabbits, everyone had a good laugh about it. Malone included.”
“What?” I sputtered. I couldn’t believe it. Max and I had a brief sexual relationship, but it was nothing deeper than that. I just needed a good reason for him to keep me around. That was all I could do to keep his interest.
“Don’t act like you have no idea what I’m talking about. That was you, wasn’t it? Did you have sex with Max Malone?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “But— “
“Save it,” he scowled. “I should have known better. This is what I get for thinking that I could open up to someone. I really liked you, Jane. I can’t believe you’d use me like this. If you wanted information, you should have just asked. You didn’t have to get my hopes up.”
“That’s not it at all,” I cried. “I like you, too.”
“Forget it,” he said, searching my room for his discarded clothing. “This is my mistake too. I felt guilty about what we did like I was cheating on Emily. Now I feel even worse because you were only using me for your story.”
“I wasn’t!” I squeaked.
“Goodbye, Jane,” he said wearily. “I wish you luck on getting everything you wanted.”
He left the room. I tried to chase after him to explain, but once I got to the living room, he had already slammed the door shut behind him. Feeling faint, I slumped down on the floor, near the place where we spilled our secrets to each other, just hours before.
I crawled back to my bedroom to get dressed so I could go after Bryce. He would either go home or to the garage where he worked. If he just let me explain myself, he would understand.
My phone rang, and I jumped up to answer it before it went to voicemail.
“Hello?” I answered, hoping it was Bryce.
“Jane,” Pat replied. “Bad news—Max Malone is out on parole.”
“Shit,” I hissed. Maybe my dream was a premonition.
Her Protection: A Bad Boy Mafia Romance (Omerta Series Book 2) Page 11