by Jeannie Lin
Ailey squirmed on top of him, demanding to be let down and threatening him with all sorts of death. He spun her around before setting her on to her feet. The front of his tunic brushed against her as he leaned in to gloat. ‘I think I won.’
She pointed her chin at him defiantly. ‘You didn’t win.’
‘You’re not fighting back any more, which means I win. Where’s my kiss?’
His arm stole around her waist. Playfully, she twisted her face away as he lowered his mouth.
‘Never.’
‘You struck me so ruthlessly and now you won’t even kiss it better.’
He brushed his lips against her fingertips as a small consolation prize, and sensed the shiver that ran through her. She grew still then and for the next long seconds, they simply looked at one another, taking their fill.
‘You’re bleeding,’ she said.
His hands lowered to settle on her hips as she touched the corner of his mouth gingerly. Then a sharp voice rang through the training yard.
‘Shen Ai Li.’
Ailey fell away from him, startled. A man in padded armour stood in the portico of the main house. His hand gripped the hilt of the sword by his side and his black eyes glittered with a growing fury.
‘Huang.’
She choked out her brother’s name, but he didn’t seem to hear. His eyes stabbed a line towards Ryam as he strode forwards. He scarcely resembled the brother she remembered. Huang had grown a moustache and beard and looked almost a stranger.
‘What are you doing with this unwashed, no-name bastard? Have you forgotten who you are?’
Her face grew hot. It was fortunate Ryam couldn’t understand the stream of insults her brother flung at him.
‘You don’t know anything about him.’
Ryam came up behind her, speaking her name gently. She tried to draw strength from his closeness as she positioned herself between the two of them.
‘Where is your husband?’ Fifth Brother demanded.
‘I have no husband.’
Huang’s expression hardened and suddenly, she saw how much he resembled Father. ‘What have you done, Ai Li?’
‘I won’t marry that bastard Li Tao. What he did was unforgivable.’
She needed to find a way to explain about Ming Han and the warlord’s schemes. Fifth Brother knew her better than anyone. If he didn’t take her side, then she was lost.
Her brother was more interested in Ryam than her explanations. Huang looked him up and down, his face twisted in disdain. ‘What is this Bái gu to you?’
‘I have done nothing wrong.’ Her voice faltered.
She’d sacrificed part of herself to be with Ryam. That was undeniable. But what she felt for him was the only thing that seemed untainted while her ideals of honour and family were torn away.
‘Little sister, this is unforgivable.’
His formal way of addressing her made her go cold. Where was the cheerful brother who had always been her ally? Huang was only three years her elder. Out of the entire lot of them, he was the only one who had never bullied or lorded over her.
‘I have always stood behind you,’ she said fiercely. ‘Remember the weaver’s daughter?’
Huang went pale. His voice cracked, and for a second he was her brother again. ‘I told you never to talk about that. And this is much more serious.’
Ryam took hold of her shoulder and Huang’s eyes narrowed dangerously at the sight of his hand on her.
‘Let me speak to him,’ Ryam said. The sound of the foreign language in the midst of their argument seemed to be the most vulgar breach of propriety, a glaring reminder of the gap between their cultures.
Huang refused to speak to Ryam. He directed his next accusation to her. ‘He has shamed you.’
She could see her brother’s pain beneath his anger.
‘I love him,’ she whispered.
The sound of the words, spoken in her native tongue, resounded in her ears. Across from her, Huang froze and his frown grew even deeper.
She hadn’t realised what she was saying. Ryam’s hand tightened on her shoulder and she wondered if he understood her words. She prayed he didn’t.
Huang’s hand gripped the hilt of his sword, his mouth clenching into a grim line. The look on his face made her heart plummet. He stared through her as if she wasn’t there.
‘Draw your sword, barbarian.’
‘He doesn’t understand you,’ she said desperately.
‘The barbarian understands.’ Huang switched to the Western tongue. ‘Are you going to hide behind my sister?’
With that, he drew his weapon. The hiss of the blade sent a chill down her spine.
She glanced over her shoulder into the cold steel of Ryam’s eyes. She knew that look. It was the deathly calm before a battle, cold resolve.
‘Don’t do it,’ she begged him.
‘You’d better move aside.’ Ryam freed his sword and held her away. ‘Everything will be fine.’
Ailey’s brother watched every look between them, his eyes growing colder. She finally stepped back, having no other choice. Her fingers knotted together so tightly that her knuckles grew pale. He was going to have to do this without hurting her brother. Perhaps he could manage to disarm him. It was much harder defeating someone when he had to be careful.
‘She chose you,’ Huang muttered. ‘Worthless.’
Ryam figured he deserved the look of murder the man cast on him. Hours earlier, he’d been in Ailey’s bed with her naked beneath him.
There was no backing out now. Exhaling slowly, he raised his sword. It was greater in length and width than the sword Huang wielded. He imagined Ailey’s brother would rely on speed, the same way she did. He would have the same skill and agility, but with more experience and greater strength.
Huang raised his arms, blade high and glinting in the sun. With a battle cry he charged, hefting the blade downwards as if wielding an axe. Ryam jumped aside easily. Huang swung again and Ryam blocked with the flat of his blade.
This was unexpected. Fifth Elder Brother was really bad.
Huang was overcautious, pausing for a fraction too long before making his moves. He signalled the direction of his intentions so clearly with his eyes that he might has well have been shouting them aloud. Ailey’s older brother had the same aggressiveness, but none of the precision and strategy that marked her fighting style.
Huang charged again, swinging in earnest. With every movement, Ryam could see the errors and openings. Huang locked swords with him, pushing forwards with a snarl.
Huang glanced beyond the cross of their blades to his sister. She watched them wide-eyed, hugging her arms to herself. Her brother had to do this. Honour demanded it. Ryam effected a retreat and wondered how he was going to disengage without getting either of them killed.
Ryam attempted a war cry of his own, checking his attack as he swung. It was a challenge to make the fight look respectable, but somehow Ryam knew that he needed to. Sweat poured down Fifth Brother’s face. He gritted his teeth in concentration.
‘There are better ways,’ Ryam tried to say. He sidestepped and cringed when Huang overcommitted and stumbled.
‘Quiet!’ Huang panted. ‘You deserve death…or at least…a good beating.’
They crossed swords a couple more times with a spectacular clash. Huang’s thinner, sharper blade rang against his broadsword.
‘Please stop!’ Ailey cried. ‘Both of you.’
‘Enough.’ Fifth Brother stepped back with a short bow. ‘Anyone can see you are a great swordsman.’
Ryam exhaled with relief and bowed awkwardly in return. ‘Thank you for being easy on me.’
Ailey ran to him. ‘Are you hurt?’
Ryam made a face at her. Huang’s blade hadn’t come within a foot of him.
‘The barbarian fought well,’ her brother conceded.
Ryam struggled to keep a straight face. ‘It was an honour.’
Ailey broke the formalities by punching her brother in th
e arm. ‘You need to think before you start a fight, Six.’
‘Well, Seven, you should think before looking at a man like that in front of your brother.’
Apparently, he wasn’t absolved yet.
Huang sheathed his sword and then looked Ryam squarely in the eye. ‘This white demon and I have some things to discuss.’
Ryam stared at ten white porcelain cups laid out in a row before him. Huang faced off against a similar array over on his side of the table. Did Huang really think he could beat him in a drinking contest? The man was only a foot taller than Ailey.
‘All in!’ Huang lifted the eighth cup high. The others before it had been upturned on to the table top.
Ryam mirrored his movements. He knocked back the shot of rice liquor, then slammed the open end onto the table. After three rounds of this, he had the ritual down.
‘Eight!’ Huang chimed. He wiped his mouth with the back of one hand.
The sweet acid burn of the liquor emerged, not entirely unpleasant. He watched Huang warily. He’d been waiting for the true purpose of this ‘discussion’ for an hour.
‘Gnbi,’ Ryam said dutifully.
That had Fifth Brother slapping his palm against the table top with glee. ‘Listen to him!’
There was a frantic knocking at the door of the salon. Huang shouted in its general direction and Ailey snapped back with something equally strident.
‘I told her it was going to be a while,’ Huang said. ‘I must thank you, barbarian, for that bit out there.’ He made a sword-brandishing motion. ‘No one knows what it’s like to be born with the heart of a poet in a family of warriors.’
‘Why do you call her Seven?’ Ryam asked. It was time for a break between shots.
‘It is an ordinal ranking in the household.’ Huang blinked, as if he was doing some ancient calculation in his head. ‘Father is one, you see. I’m six. Ai Li is a daughter, she doesn’t get a rank, but we call her seven. We used to say—’ His head swayed precariously.
The alcohol spoke through Huang in a jumble of languages. Ryam nodded and nodded. To his surprise, it was actually quite easy to follow.
‘Ai Li should have been born in my place. I never took to the sword like the rest of the Shen line. I was destined for other things.’
Huang picked up the ninth cup, tilted his head back, then stopped to stare at Ryam’s cup, which still rested on the table. Mumbling an apology, Ryam lifted the shot and tossed the contents down.
Huang coughed, and counted the number of overturned cups, pointing them out with his finger. Then he counted again. He eyed Ryam suspiciously. ‘Are you falling behind?’
Ryam threw open his hands. ‘I wouldn’t do anything so dishonourable.’
Huang reached out to slap him on the back, apparently pleased with his response. Then immediately he grew serious. ‘There is only one reason you’re still here. Ai Li was the only one who ever looked at me as if I was worth anything.’
‘I understand you completely.’ Ryam knew what that look could do. She trusted him more than he’d ever trusted himself.
‘No one else understands.’ Huang stood without warning, jarring the edge of the table. Liquor sloshed from the two remaining cups. ‘I have memorised all the classics,’ he boasted. ‘Shall we trade verses on duty?’
Ryam stared at him. ‘I don’t even know what you’re talking about, Fifth Brother.’
Huang burst out laughing, his finger wagging in Ryam’s direction. ‘I like you, foreigner. Shall we finish number ten and declare ourselves brothers?’
He took the last drink standing, most of the liquid ending on the floor. Ryam stood to help Huang back into his chair. He had been worse off than this many a time.
‘You are not a bad fellow,’ Huang said. ‘I apologise for insulting you.’
‘Don’t worry. I couldn’t understand what you were saying.’
‘I called you a no-name bastard. I apologise.’
Huang’s mention of the honour play they’d enacted sobered him up. Ailey was in enough trouble without him in the picture. No-name bastard was exactly right.
‘Do you know I studied for the civil exams?’ Huang said. ‘But when I asked permission to go to Changan, they all taunted me, First Elder Brother on down to Fourth Brother, for wanting to be something better than I was. They were all warrior heroes.’ He grew serious again. ‘Fourth Brother died the way a Shen should.’
‘Ailey was very affected by his death.’
‘In glorious battle,’ Huang said bitterly.
‘She learned his death was not an accident.’
Ryam felt inadequate trying to explain, but he needed to protect her. She’d already done the unthinkable by choosing to be with him. And he’d let it happen because he wanted her too much to turn away.
‘What will happen?’ Ryam asked.
Huang’s expression darkened, the corners of his mouth turning downwards. ‘Ai Li came to me for help. She must think I can talk to our father, that he’ll listen to a fifth son.’ He sighed, looking down at the table. ‘I care very much about my sister.’
‘I care very much about her, too.’
Huang’s head shot up. ‘Brother, brother…’ He slapped Ryam’s back again, choked with sudden emotion. Apparently Fifth Brother was a moody drunk. ‘She chose you. You can’t be so bad. Do you know there is a tradition of lucky devils in our family? Our grandfather won himself the most beautiful bride in the province. And he was nearly as ugly as you are. My sister paints a picture of someone right away. Right or wrong, she decides very quickly.’
Shifting uncomfortably, Ryam rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. There was no getting around it. When they met, Ailey had been alone and scared and he’d helped her. He was the luckiest bastard in all the empire, but he had no idea what he needed to do to make things right for her. The consequences, the thoughts he’d been blocking, came to him again. She could be pregnant with his child. She could be banished from her family.
‘I’d never hurt her,’ he told Huang.
‘I believe you, barbarian.’
‘I want her to be happy.’
Fifth Brother dropped his head down into his arms. ‘She came to me. I will think of something. I must think of something.’
Head buried, Huang stayed still for so long that Ryam thought he’d passed out. It wasn’t until he stood to go that Huang mumbled his parting wisdom.
‘Any man can be better than he is.’
Chapter Sixteen
She’d told her brother she loved Ryam.
The words had spilled out of her. It was a wonder Huang didn’t demand Ryam’s death then and there. They had been locked away for over an hour, leaving her to pace like a madwoman outside.
She loved him.
Every glimpse of Ryam filled all the empty spaces in her heart. She had fallen before Changan, but hadn’t allowed herself to believe it. Leaving him in the market square had cut out a piece of her and she had prayed that they would be able to meet again in another life.
Maybe this was her other life. She had changed during the journey. As youngest daughter, she’d always been sheltered. The first important decision she had ever made was to run away from her wedding. It was the right decision, no matter what her family insisted.
Ryam had given her a taste of what it meant to desire something for herself—happiness and peace and freedom. She couldn’t fill her soul on duty and sacrifice any longer.
What were they doing in there for so long? She banged on the door again and this time it swung open. Ryam stepped out and shut the door behind him.
‘Everything’s fine,’ he answered before she said anything.
‘What happened? What did Huang say?’
‘All sorts of stories.’ He was looking at her oddly and something in his expression frightened her.
‘You allowed Huang to save face. Thank you for that.’
‘He’d be horrified to find out you knew.’
‘Everyone knows. Huang never practised. Ev
en when he went out to the training yard, he would pretend.’
Every word had to be coaxed out of him while she babbled on.
‘Have you been drinking?’
He made a face. ‘Hardly. Huang might be sleeping it off for a while, though.’
They were standing so close, but he held himself back. Ryam was always reaching out to tuck back a strand of her hair or run his hand along her back—little touches that always made her breath catch and brought her thoughts back to him. But not now.
‘What’s wrong?’
Ryam came away from the door to stand before her, a silent tower. ‘Your brother cares about you. Your entire family cares about you very much.’
She shook her head. ‘Not after what I’ve done.’
The sharp pang in her chest came without warning.
‘They won’t turn you away no matter what you’ve done. Even I can sense that.’
‘Why are you talking like this? Did Huang say something to you?’
He shook his head. ‘Your father will kill me the moment he sees me and I would deserve it.’
‘He would have to kill me first.’
‘Don’t say that.’ He turned away, one hand rubbing at the back of his neck in frustration. ‘You can’t be that blind, Ailey.’
‘I am not blind,’ she said, her voice rising.
He could accuse her of anything but ignorance. For the first time in her life, she could see clearly. Her parents had always been icons of authority and respect to be obeyed without question, but she knew them now to be human, with the same flaws and weaknesses as anyone else.
‘Are you going to leave?’
‘If you want me to stay, I will.’
Pride kept her from asking it of him. How had it come to this after all the things they had said to one another, skin to skin in the darkness? Her heart shattered into pieces with his next words.
‘I can tell your father I seduced you, that none of this is your fault.’
If his words were meant to be noble, they failed their purpose. She couldn’t look at him after that.