“Good. I have no more food, but we’ll stop at the inn a few hours from here and get some breakfast. Before we go, we need to discuss something.” His expression hardened just a little. “I willnae allow ye to roam freely about the clans looking for a place to stay. ’Tis not safe. I will escort ye, but ye have no chaperone, and while ye think ye won’t be recognized, I will.”
“I amnae worried about my reputation. I doonae want to be married, remember?” she pointed out.
“Ye may not care about yer reputation, but I care, and I care about mine, Moira. I willnae have people talking about me stashing away some strange woman to another clan.”
Just what was he getting at? Crossing her arms, she glared at him. “Then what do ye propose?”
“Like it or not, ye and I entered an agreement seven years ago with the backing of our parents. The king is pressuring me to marry, and while I want an heir, I doonae have time for a wife.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “Connor, what exactly are ye saying?”
“Ye want a small cottage, surrounded by yer flowers. I will give that to ye, and freedom within our marriage.”
“In exchange for an heir?”
“Not in exchange, Moira. I am hoping for an heir, but I willnae punish ye if ye doonae conceive a son. I would like us to try. Ye will spend yer nights with me, and ye can spend yer days how ye like.”
Marriage. To Connor. For a moment, she feared that she would faint. “There was a time that ye didnae trust me.”
“Aye, and for my actions that day, I have much to make up for. I am hoping that this will be a start.”
“Do ye trust me now?”
“One of the men we captured finally talked. They admitted that they were provided with the Hamilton colors and paid to point the finger at ye,” he said finally.
That was not an answer. It was what she’d heard years ago when her father explained Connor’s apology to her. “I want a yes or a no, Connor. Do ye trust me?”
“I doonae believe that ye had a hand in the death of my parents, but being laird has made me see the world differently, Moira. I doonae know that I trust anyone outside my brother and sister.”
Her stomach tightened in disappointment, and she considered her options. He’d made some good points last night, and she wasn’t prepared to travel for long periods of time searching for her freedom. Connor might not trust her, and she wasn’t sure that she trusted him. If he said that he would leave her days to her, then she wanted to believe him. “And if yer clan treats me no better than my own did?”
“There will be consequences if anyone harms ye, Moira. Ye have my word,” he promised her.
“How do I know that if some other clan attacks ye, ye willnae blame me and throw me out again?” She needed desperately to know that if she made a home on his land, then she could keep it. It was exhausting, always worrying about the future. She just wanted some peace.
“Ye have my word, Moira Hamilton, that if ye consent to be my wife—again—that I will never judge ye without evidence, and I will never turn ye out.”
It wasn’t as romantic as his first proposal, but then, she didn’t want romance anymore. She just wanted some security. “Aye, Connor Sinclair. For a cottage of my own and security in my future, I will marry ye and do my best to give ye an heir.”
Nodding curtly, he took Maevis’s reins and walked the mare to her. “Vera well. Let us get ye fed.”
It wasn’t exactly a betrothal gift, but it would do for now.
4
They arrived at the keep several hours after dark. Connor wanted Moira to have a bath and a decent night’s sleep before they faced the morrow and his sister.
At the entrance to the keep, he dismounted and helped her off her mare. He wanted to reach for her, to take her hand and squeeze it, to wipe the worried look from her face and let her know that everything was going to be fine. But for the entire day, he’d barely been able to speak to her.
Part of him couldn’t believe she’d agreed to be his wife. He’d spent all night thinking about it. He couldn’t stand the idea of her marrying anyone else, nor did he think he’d find any peace of mind knowing that she was all alone searching for her happiness. Connor had the means to give her everything that she wanted.
And he needed to pay penance for what he’d done to her. Just being around her was torture.
“Ye will stay in the chambers adjacent to mine,” he said gruffly in a low voice. “I will have a bath drawn for ye. Ye may sleep as late as ye would like in the morn.”
“All right.” Her gaze slid past him to the door behind him, and she didn’t move.
“Moira.”
Blinking, she smiled wanly and pushed back the hood of her cloak. “Sorry. I am nearly dead on my feet. A bath would be wonderful.”
Connor had no idea what was going on inside of her head, but it was clear that she was having doubts about being there. He knew there had to be good memories. He was assaulted by them. The sunshine glistening along the golden locks of her hair. Splashing playfully in the creek as they challenged each other to cross the rocks. The teasing smiles across the dinner table from a private joke that they’d shared.
She had to remember those moments. He needed her to see this space as something other than the horrible day that he’d banished her and tossed her out to fend for herself alone. They were more than that moment he’d looked at her and saw the worst.
“Come.” Careful not to tug on her injured shoulder, he guided her into the keep and stopped to give instructions to the guards at the gate. They nodded, and he knew that soon, there would be two baths waiting for them.
The chambers next to his were meant for the mistress of the keep, of which his mother had never occupied. She and his father were deeply in love, and they shared the laird’s chambers. He’d always assumed that he and his wife would do the same.
Now he had a wife who wouldn’t even be under the same roof as him. A cottage on the outskirts of the village. Disgusted with himself, he shook his head. What had he been thinking, offering her a deal like that?
“The guards will be here soon to fill the tub. I can send one of the maids to the kitchens if ye want something to eat.” They had skipped dinner.
Looking around the room, Moira put a hand on her stomach and shook her head. “Nay. I believe a bath will be all that I need.”
She was too nervous to eat, and he had a feeling the longer he stayed, the more nervous she would become. “If ye need anything, just knock on the adjoining door.” He tucked his hands behind his back so he wasn’t tempted to embrace her. “I will see ye in the morn.”
After leaving her, he wanted to check in with his night patrol, but he didn’t want to be far from Moira, so he relaxed in his chambers until his bath was ready. After stripping off his clothes, he eased into the water and sighed.
Was Moira already in her bath, the warm water touching her naked skin, comforting her when he could not?
Am I jealous of bathwater now?
Clean and more relaxed, he listened at the door, but Moira’s chambers were quiet and dark. Pleased that she’d retired, he turned in for the night and closed his eyes. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.
“Is it true?” a shrill voice demanded. Curtains were yanked back from the windows and sunlight flooded into the room. Groaning, Connor grabbed his pillow and threw it toward his sister’s general direction. It could not have been more than a couple of hours since he’d closed his eyes. How did she get into his room? He kept demanding her to return the key, and she somehow kept finding another.
“Lower yer voice,” he demanded. He wanted Moira to catch up on her sleep, and if Grace kept yelling at him, she would wake the whole village.
“Ye tell me the truth right now. Did ye smuggle Moira Hamilton into the keep last night and install her into the mistress chambers?”
“Lower. Yer. Voice,” he commanded. Glaring at him, she slumped into the chair next to his bed and pouted. Grace had two modes. The first was t
he bratty younger sister that she had perfected from the moment she’d curled her finger around Connor’s. The second was the warrior Grace, which she had yet to perfect but continued to train. Both sides of her drove him to drink.
Unlike the dark hair that he and his brother sported, Grace was the spitting image of their mother. Blonde, dainty, light blue eyes that almost looked grey in the sun, and a willowy figure. She was a beauty. Everyone said so, and then in the very next breath said it was a shame she was such a hellion.
“So? Do ye plan to make her yer mistress?” she demanded.
At least she wasn’t yelling anymore. “Mistress of the keep, Grace.” He sighed as he pushed back the blanket and sat up, rubbing his hands over his face. “Not my mistress.”
“So ye intend to marry her? Without speaking to me or Alec? Or did ye tell Alec? Did ye know that ye were going to bring her back after ye traveled to Hamilton? Am I the last to know?”
“No, Grace. I did not deliberately make this decision without telling ye. I proposed to Moira last night, alone. She is hell-bent on nearly killing herself to find her happiness, and I willnae allow that.”
Grace blinked. “What are ye talking about? Why were ye alone with Moira last night?”
Sleep-deprived. Hungry. He was in no mood to spend the morning explaining his actions to his sister. “Look, like it or not, I have been betrothed to Moira for years. It just so happens that now I have decided to honor it. Our accusations ruined her life, Grace.”
His sister’s eyes widened, and for a moment, he remembered just how innocent she was. She and Moira had been good friends, and when the initial pain had subsided, she’d felt immense guilt for pointing the finger at Grace without proof. She and Moira had been like sisters. There were two other girls visiting the clan that summer, and the four of them had been terrifying together.
“I wrote her a letter,” Grace whispered. “Several, in fact. I never told ye, but I just wanted her to know that I was so sorry. She never wrote back.”
“’Tis all right, Grace. I knew about the letters, and I doonae know why she didnae write back, but this is our chance to make things right. When I exiled the young lass, it apparently took her two weeks to find her way home. By the time she got there, she was so terrified she couldnae speak. Most of her clan still thinks that she’s responsible. She’s been miserable, and all she wants is a quiet life where she can be left alone. I have promised her a cottage of her own, relinquished her from the duties of the keep, and in return, we will wed, and we will try for an heir.”
Her eyes widened. “A cottage? Ye willnae even live together? Connor, that is not how a wife and a husband should be!”
“That was not how our parents were,” he reminded her. “But most couples doonae marry for love. ’Tis not unusual for a man in my position to marry for an heir. We will both be happy.”
Clearly troubled, Grace got up and started to pace. “There was a time when I wanted nothing more than for Grace and I to be sisters, but now I feel nothing but dread. She may very well hate me, Connor, and continue to hate me.”
“She isnae the lass that I remember,” Connor admitted. “But we are not the same people, either, Grace. We must all live with what we have done, but I doonae think Moira will hold it against ye forever. Support our marriage and be kind to her, Grace. ’Tis all that I am asking of ye.”
“All?’
“That and quit trying to sneak past the guards. They catch ye every time.”
“Not every time,” she reminded him smugly. “Last night, I saw ye riding in with Moira, only she had her hood up so I didnae know it was her.”
“Grace,” Connor groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. At twenty-one, she should have married by now, but her rebellious nature was well-known throughout the clan, and no man in their right mind had come forward to ask for her hand. It didn’t matter that she was a beauty or that she came with a large dowry. Connor took care of his people, and no one was desperate enough to chain themselves to the likes of Grace Sinclair.
And she refused to marry anyone outside the clan.
“’Twill be a trying few weeks, Grace. Do ye think that ye can behave yerself long enough for Moira to get settled and the clan to get used to her being the new Sinclair mistress? Please?”
“Will she be at breakfast?” she asked, without answering his question.
“I hope not. She hasnae slept much in the past two nights. ‘Twould make me feel better if she slept all day. Doonae bother her, Grace. And doonae push her. If she is uncomfortable with ye, give her time.”
“Ye are cranky this morn, Brother,” Grace said as she grinned mischievously. “Ye should eat breakfast and then check in with yer men and ask them why they didnae see me.”
She flounced out of the room before he had a chance to demand she return the key, and Connor groaned. He hadn’t even gotten out of bed, and already his day was slipping away from him.
5
Moira had only spent a few months there, seven years ago, so it surprised her when she remembered how to navigate the halls. She woke up around noon and discovered that the kitchen had instructions to feed her no matter the time. After her meal, she found herself wandering to her old chambers. At first, she’d been installed in the guest wing until she and Grace had grown so close, then she moved into the empty chambers near her.
As she walked the halls, she smiled at the memories. For part of her stay, Ainsley Carruthers and Senga Sinclair were staying in the keep as well. All close in age, they’d become fast friends. Senga was a distant cousin, raised in England, but tended to be stowed away in the Highlands when she became too much for her mother to handle, which was often. Ainsley’s parents were close friends with Grace’s parents, and Ainsley would apparently visit often as well.
Fast friends, they’d made several silly promises to each other. The promise to always be friends, which seemed the silliest since it was the first one broken. Other than a few letters that she’d received from Grace, she’d never even heard from Ainsley and Cecily, both of which she’d heard had married now.
Poor Alec. He bore the brunt of their practical jokes. At one point, they’d collected a jar of beetles and released them into his bed. Remembering his shrieks still brought a smile to her face.
Just four girls who had no idea what was waiting for them.
“I moved into the chambers that I am in now once we tried to return to normal,” Grace said quietly from behind her. “I wouldnae let any of the guests stay here, but I come here frequently. Some of my fondest memories were created in this hall.”
“Followed by some of the cruelest,” Moira said tightly as she turned and faced her. She’d thought about what would happen if she ever saw Grace. Time and time again, she played out the scenarios in her mind. The accusations she wanted to hurl at her. The vivid descriptions of how her actions had hurt Moira. But now that they were here, Moira just felt pain. “I never read yer letters.”
“I suppose that is better than ye reading them and not responding. They were apologies.”
“I hoped they were, but I didnae think I could handle it if they werenae.” Wrapping her arms around herself, Moira told her that it was the draft. “I let go of my anger a long time ago. Ye were facing yer darkest moment. I have had several since then, and I know how that feels.”
Hope lit up in Grace’s eyes. “So ye doonae hate me?”
“I doonae know that I ever hated ye, Grace.” Moira chose her words carefully. “I was angry at the situation. I was angry with yer brother, but hate? Nay.”
Hesitantly, Grace took a few steps toward her. “I spoke to Connor this morn. We are to be sisters, and I am so happy. I know that ye made an arrangement with him, but I am hoping that ye will still accept me as a sister. Or as a friend. Please, Moira. May we start fresh?”
“Start fresh?” Moira chuckled. “I doonae think that is possible. Even now, looking at ye, I am reminded of the time we snuck to the river and nabbed Alec, Connor, and their friends’ c
lothes while they were bathing. I will never forget them storming into the village stark naked and how angry yer parents were.”
Grace giggled. “I believe that every time Connor punishes me with kitchen duty, he remembers that moment.”
“Aye. We have a history, Grace, and more of it was good than bad. I would like vera much for us to be sisters. We doonae have to start from scratch.”
With a shriek, Grace launched herself at Moira and threw her arms around her. Unused to physical attention, Moira stiffened before she awkwardly hugged Grace back. Then she extricated herself quickly. “Do ye have anything planned today? I amnae certain that Connor wants me wandering about on my own. I doonae know how he plans to make the announcement.”
Grabbing her hands, Grace jumped up and down. “I have actually found the perfect cottage for ye. I doonae know why ye doonae want to live in the keep, but I believe ye will love this place. It has plenty of land for ye to grow flowers if ye still like that kind of thing. ’Tis not far from the keep so I can visit plenty, although if ye doonae want that, I understand.”
“I would vera much love it if ye could visit, and I would love to see it.”
“Excellent! If this had not gone well, I was planning on using the cottage as a bribe,” Grace grinned. “I am pleased that instead, we can explore it together. There are rumors that ’tis haunted, but ’tis just foolishness. Ye can tell me all about this Hamilton Hero that I have been hearing about.”
Grace wants to talk about men? She really had changed. “Ye heard about how handsome he is?”
“Handsome? Why would I want to talk about that? I want to know about how he ended the feud!”
Much more Grace’s speed. Although she was hesitant to step back into the dream she’d had as a young girl, she found herself a little more at ease with Grace by her side. And if talking about the man she’d refused to marry would help pass the time, then Moira was more than game.
“Ye were supposed to make sure that Grace was never left unattended, yet she saw my arrival an hour after midnight,” Connor growled as he stared at Mungo. The biggest of his guards, Mungo had the strange ability to become nearly invisible when he wanted, so he was the perfect guard to tail his sister.
Highlands’ Forbidden Deeds Page 21