by Key, Liana
"There's just something between us," I try to explain, because sometimes I don't even understand how our relationship works myself, "some sort of chemistry."
"You suck at science," he jests, "what would you know about chemistry?"
"I just want to be with him...all the time," I proclaim.
"Do you talk?" He seems intrigued now.
"Of course we talk," I say, "we talk all the time."
"You fuck all the time." It's like a statement.
I just stare, my mouth wide open, "Jakey -" I say, my voice shocked.
"Cash says you stay over at his house," Jakey says, annoyance in his voice, like this is a bad thing.
"I told you we love each other," I say, smiling.
"Love or lust?" Jakey scoffs.
I just glare at him, shake my head. "I'm not gonna talk to you when you're like this," I say, folding my arms. Besides I haven't, and don't think I want to discuss my sex life with Jakey.
"Hey Magdala," he soothes, "don't be like that. You know I just don't want to see you get hurt." Then, as if to add insult to injury, "Again."
"Nathan would never hurt me," I state, "and I think you know that."
Jakey sits forward, looks into my eyes, concedes, "I don't want him to come between us."
I narrow my eyes again, "Then don't be an asshole about him."
Jakey leans back, suddenly acts like he's bored with the conversation. "White trash Magdala," he sneers and laughs arrogantly. Though I wonder how he can be so high and mighty about it. Jakey and Raff's father, who they never see and who he never talks about, had been a high school dropout and I think he'd worked as a builder or something like that. Jakey gets up and kicks his empty can up in the air like its a soccer ball and then catches it. We go in for dinner, but he doesn't talk to me until Aunt Kate tells him to take me home.
"I can get Dad to come and get me," I say.
"Don't be silly, Jakey will take you," she insists.
"I've got quite a bit of homework," Jakey says and I get a sinking feeling in my chest. But he grabs his keys and says, "Come on."
I follow him out to his car, but before I open the door I say, "Why are you acting like this?" He ignores me, gets in and starts the engine so I have no choice but to jump in.
"Jakey?" I ask, "why are you so mad with me?" It's so not like us to fight or to get into a bad mood with each other. I prod again, "Jakey?" Yet I should be the one who's mad because he called Nathan trash. "Jakey, just talk!" I demand, "I am your best friend."
"Well you might be losing that status if you don't shut up," he yells. "Okay, I think you spend too much time with him. I don't think he's good for you. I think you deserve better than him. Okay?"
I start to laugh, just as he pulls up to my house. "So you're just looking out for me then?" I say.
"Yes," he admits.
"Friends again?" I say.
He nods. "Magdala, you know I worry about you."
"I love that you do," I say and lean over to hug him.
"Go on, get out of here," he says.
"Thanks for the ride," I say, waving as he reverses. I skip up the driveway, know that I'm lucky, that I have the best Dad, best brother, best boyfriend and best best friend. Later I text Jakey: I want you and Nathan to be friends.
He texts back: will never happen.
I text: let's all go out on Friday
Him: busy.
But I know things are all good and I figure I'll get him to like Nathan eventually.
NATHAN
Mom starts to hound me about meeting Magdala, this girl I'm so madly in love with, she jokes to me. She seems miffed that she was working the night Magdala had dinner with us, and she doesn't think meeting her early mornings when I'm sneaking her out is appropriate. So she wants me to officially invite her for dinner. I make up excuses at first, like Magdala has family stuff, Magdala's babysitting, but it comes to the point where I cave, and agree to a Sunday evening. Magdala doesn't think it's a big deal and her only issue is what to wear. I tell her jeans is fine, but she wears a short sundress, which shows off her tanned legs. She drives herself over, maybe so she can have a getaway if she needs it. She brings my Mom a bag of fresh mangoes, saying her stepmother was given a whole bunch, and Mom says thank you, but I don't think she has a clue about what to do with so many. Magdala says they make good smoothies. Mom has never made a smoothie in her life.
My Nan is here too, and she chats away to Magdala, interested in her piano playing. Seems Nan played the piano as a kid, but had to give it up when her father died; the piano was sold to pay for the funeral. Something I never knew. She says she learnt to play Home on the Range, and Magdala laughs politely.
As feared, Mom gets into interrogation mode, sucking as much information as she can from Magdala. By the end of dinner Mom knows Magdala's parents' job positions, descriptions and virtually their incomes, what cars they drive and where they went to school. And that includes her step parents as well. I try not to look embarrassed, but Magdala answers willingly, not fazed at all. It seems too easy to love her.
Later I walk her out to her car. She's holding four chocolate cherry cupcakes that my sister Michelle had made for dessert, but Magdala said she was too full to eat anything else. I tell her she can throw them to the dog if she wants. She kicks me in the leg and says, "I'm going to eat one later, but I'd probably burst at the moment!"
"You're not scared off by my family are you?" I ask.
"Your family is cool," she says, opening the car and placing the cupcakes on the seat carefully. I put my arms around her waist, her arms are around my neck. "I love you," she says, her lips reaching up to mine. I respond, my tongue pushing into her mouth. She pulls away.
"Mmmm I can taste the cherry chocolate," she laughs, "it's yummy." God, she makes me laugh. I put my mouth on hers again, my hands go lower, feeling the curves of her ass, then under her dress, I pull her closer. I put my hand behind her left thigh, bend and wrap her leg around me, press myself into her. I groan. I so want her, like right now, wonder if I could take her back round the side path and climb in through the window. But that would be wrong, Mom would sniff that one out within minutes.
"Shall we drive down to the corner?" I murmur into her ear.
"Shall we?" She seems astonished at my request. Her eyes are full of mischief and she jumps in the car. So do I.
"Oh fuck," I say, reaching beneath me, retrieving the bag of squashed cupcakes. She starts laughing, and drives us down the street and parks. She reaches for the cupcakes. She's still laughing, but she unzips the top of the bag and dips her finger in, covering it in the frosting. She holds it up, makes me lick it off. I twirl my tongue around her finger, sucking every last bit of chocolate.
"Here, let me taste some too," she says, holding the bag for me, so I dip my finger in, swirl it around, and she does the same. We're both laughing like kids. We kiss again, tongues tasting, it's so good. My sister really can bake.
"Back seat?" I ask hopefully. She climbs through the middle, but I get out and open the door. She's already pulling her underwear down. "You're keen," I comment. She helps me pull my jeans down. "You're fucking keen!"
"You know I want you," she says. The intensity amps up. She's under me, her knees are bent. My left leg is on the floor, the other one straddling her. It's cramped, but it can be done.
"Fuck I love you. So much." Lips, tongues, cherry chocolate, it's so perfect. Her body pushes into me as I thrust into her. My hand is brushing back her hair off her forehead. My eyes try to follow hers, but I close them as I feel myself coming and I inadvertently tug at her hair a little too tight. I feel her wince. "Sorry babe," I apologize. She just smiles and ruffles my hair.
"That was exciting," she says.
"Exciting?" Not the word I would probably use.
"It feels wrong," she explains. "Like forbidden, like we could get caught. Like anyone could just walk on past."
"Oh," I say, "you like the element of danger?"
"Mmmm,
maybe I do," she says suggestively. "Like we should do it in an elevator or something?"
"A glass elevator maybe," she considers, smiling. I pull her up to sitting and slide out of her as carefully as I can. I kiss her again.
"I can never get enough of you," I say.
"Same," she says, and kisses me back.
"You better fucking go," I say, "before I want you again." She climbs through to the front, buckles herself in. I get out the back door, pull up my jeans, retrieve her panties from the floor. She unwinds the passenger window and I pass her underwear in. She laughs.
"Hey, sorry about the cupcakes," I say.
"That's okay, I feel like I've eaten one," she says, running her tongue sexily across her lower lip.
"Talk to you later," I say.
"I love you Nathan Stratton," she declares, and drives off with a toot of her horn.
Mom asks where I've been when I come back into the kitchen. "Just been talking," I say casually, but my hand automatically goes to my jeans, checking that I did zip up. I know Mom notices. Nan's sitting at the table, drinking a cup of tea. "Do you like her Nan?" I ask, sitting down next to her.
"She's beautiful," Nan says, "she's a lovely girl. And I can see you love her."
"I'm mad about her," I say, my eyes dart to Mom's, almost in defiance.
Nan chuckles. "That's how your Grandpa was about me. He couldn't keep his hands off me."
I laugh. My Grandpa died over five years ago, suddenly from a heart attack. He'd been pruning some bushes in the garden and collapsed, but he had been 72.
"She's only young," Mom chimes in, "only sixteen. And from Beverly." Why she says that, I don't know.
"There's no need to rush these days," Nan says, "you have plenty of time. Get to know each other. It's important that you can talk to each other."
"Good advice," my mother says, giving me a bold stare.
I get up. "Do you need a ride home Nan?" I ask.
"Thanks, but Bryan's going to take me. I want him to look at a window latch." I say goodbye and go and watch tv.
A text come through from Magdala: miss u already, your mom and nan are cool.
I text back: want u, love u.
And already my heart is yearning for her, wanting her non-stop, she's like an obsession, all I want, all I crave is to be with her all the time.
That same week, on a Tuesday when Ben and I are at basketball, Magdala drops by home thinking I'll be there. When we arrive, Magdala's in the kitchen making mango smoothies. I'm thinking What the fuck, but Magdala is showing Mom how to cube a mango and Mom has no option but to watch and learn. Michelle is copying too. It almost feels like a comedy skit.
I come up behind Magdala, put my arms around her waist. "What's going on here?"
"I forgot you had training," she says, "but I'm just showing your Mom how to make smoothies, because they can go off quite quickly." She means the mangoes.
Mom gives me a wry smile as she puts the mango into the blender. Magdala adds banana slices and milk and Michelle pushes the button. It's like a fucking production line. I can't help but laugh.
Magdala turns, "What's so funny?" she asks.
"Nothing," I say, bending to kiss her. We each have a smoothie, which even Mom admits to being delicious, but I can see she is calculating the amount of milk used and wondering if there will be enough for tomorrow's breakfast. She stresses about the smallest things.
"What did you actually come round for?" I eventually ask Magdala, wondering if she left something here. We don't usually see each other on a week night.
"Um," she laughs, "um, I don't remember." But when we go into my room, she pushes me onto the bed and says, "This is why I came around. To ride in the Ferrari bed."
Chapter 3
MAGDALA
Antonia asks me to babysit the kids on Saturday night. First of all I pout and say, "Why can't Cassian do it?" She says she has already asked him, but he has plans. Great, I think, now I'm only second choice. She says her and Dad have a dinner and awards night to go to, I don't even ask what awards night, I don't care that much. I ask if Nathan can come over. She says, "Ask your father."
I catch Dad at his work station, he's sketching on some paper, but has two screens open as well. Dad is a graphic designer and does freelance work, in television and movies, but he also does work for my Uncle Blaise's advertising agency. Plus he does voiceover work. I pretend to be interested in what he's doing but then I just jump right in and say it. "Antonia wants me to babysit on Saturday, but I sort of have plans with Nathan, so could he come and stay on Saturday night while I babysit." I say it so fast that I hope he doesn't listen properly and will just nod and say yes.
He stops drawing and says, "Did you just say you want Nathan to stay the night?" Damn, he is listening. I bite my lower lip and sheepishly nod. "I haven't even met him," he says.
"Haven't you?" I feign disbelief. "Oh well it will be a good time to introduce you." I give him a smile.
"Tell me about him," Dad says, surprising me just a little.
"What do you want to know?" I ask confidently, and stand right close to him.
"Well, all I know is that he's from West. Other than that, nothing."
"Yeah, he's from West, he's a junior, he likes basketball and he loves me," I say.
Dad raises his eyebrows. "And I love him," I add, and lean into Dad, who is sitting on a high stool. Dad has to put an arm around me to steady us, otherwise he'd topple off the seat.
"Why does he need to stay the night?" Dad asks, "hasn't he got a car?" Dad knows he has a car, so I'm thinking he's having a joke with me.
"He'll have work the next morning, so it will be easier for him to stay and then just go straight to work," I explain, hoping he gets my logic.
"Where does he work?" Dad asks. I tell him the name of the auto parts store.
Dad rubs his chin and frowns, "I don't know, princess, I'm not totally happy with it."
Anger takes over and I get snippy, "You know I've stayed at his house before?"
Dad nods knowingly, "I'm aware."
"Well, isn't it better if you know where I am, and after all I'm doing you and Antonia a favor," I say, snappily, and take a step away.
"Hey, hey," he tries to calm me, "don't get angry." He puts his arm out and pulls me back towards him. "It's just that you've only been going out a few weeks."
"Like six," I interrupt. "Six weeks." Though it has actually only been five.
"I don't want to see you rush into anything and get hurt," he says, rubbing my shoulder.
"Well it's too late then, because I've already rushed in," I say, frustrated. "And why does everyone think I'm going to get hurt? Jakey's saying the same thing."
"Because we're all looking out for you," he says. And he pulls me in close, hugs me. "I'm not trying to be the bad guy, Magdala, I'm trying to be a good Dad."
I pout at him, it usually works. "If you met him," I whine, "you'd see how much he loves me, and he'll never hurt me." I pull away. "Just this once, please," I say, "otherwise I'll be here alone seeing Cash is going out. And if you guys are late back, it's not fair if I make him drive home, he might already be asleep." It sounds like a good argument to me.
"I'll check with Antonia," he relents.
"She already said to ask you," I say.
He lets out a sigh. "Okay then, just this time," he says, like he knows he's lost.
I smile and hug him tighter, "Thanks Daddy, I love you."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he says smiling and the victory is mine.
I'd never had Stacey come and stay over, well there was no need, he had that apartment all to himself. I think because Stacey was my first relationship, I just let him dictate, just went along with everything he suggested, just followed. I was probably like a little puppy lapping up to its owner, tongue hanging out, ready to do whatever I was told. He had all the experience, I knew nothing. I cringe at how naive I'd been. Dad and Antonia had only met Stacey once, when he came to pick me up after the wh
ole sleeping over fiasco. Stacey had turned on the charm big time, and in retrospect, that's when my inner radar should have zoned in, but I was too blind, too infatuated by his good looks. And I think because both Jakey and Cassian knew him, Dad had been less concerned than if he had been a complete unknown.
I never think of Stacey now. It hadn't been hard to switch off from him, and only now I know that it had never been real love. Maybe, probably just pretend love. When it's your first relationship, how do you even know. Every feeling, every emotion is new, so you assume it's the real deal. I wonder if that's why Jakey dates so much, he plays the field, never hangs around with one girl for too long. As for Cash, he says he's never met anyone he's really been interested in, but it doesn't seem to bother him. There is no shortage of girls who want to go out with him, but he never dates. Aunt Kate tells him his time will come, so does Antonia.
With Nathan, I know it's the real deal. I just do. I feel something deep inside, some connection, that thing that drew us together when we first saw each other. If there was ever a love at first sight moment, we were it. I love everything about him. I love that he's not perfect looking, that he's a bit rough and ready. I love that he touches me all the time, but he's not sickly sweet and he doesn't shower me with gifts or think he has to spend money on me. In fact, he's never given me a gift. I love that he makes me laugh, and then laughs because he thinks I'm funny. I love that he's honest and is just himself. He doesn't try to impress me or pretend to be someone he's not. And I love that he treats me as if I'm the most important person in his world. To be that special to someone is the best feeling.
NATHAN
I end up meeting Magdala's family that weekend, because she has to babysit her younger brother and sister, so she asks me to come over. As it is, we spend an hour down at the mall after I finish work, and then we arrive at her place just after seven. Her Dad shakes my hand when she introduces us, and I wish I'd dressed better than a plain $5 t-shirt and ripped jeans. Her Dad is tall, like six three and I can see Magdala has his eyes, but Cassian has his hair. He has some old tattoos on his forearms and his voice is really husky, croaky. Magdala says he's had throat cancer and it changed his voice. Now he does some work in television and movies doing voice overs, generally for cartoon villains, she had laughed but now I know what she means. Her Dad asks me some general stuff, how's school going, basketball. He doesn't seem to pay me too much attention, doesn't appear to be sizing me up. He doesn't ask about my parents' jobs and income. He seems laid back, casual, I think I like him.