by Sara York
"Fine, but later. I don't want to have to hash this out with Duff. And if we have to talk, you need to tell Duff about Craig."
"Fine. And if we don't get it solved between us, we can pull Duff in."
James' lips thinned out and he nodded before turning to get out. Marshal sighed and followed, not sure if James would be truthful with him since it was obvious he wasn't being truthful with himself. But who was he to judge? He was a master at lying to himself, pretending as if certain things didn't matter though they did.
Duff approached, his face grim with his eyes narrowed. He looked all business, just as Marshal expected.
"We have sandwiches in the command center. We'll meet there in twenty minutes."
"Yes, sir." Marshal grabbed his gear and headed inside. He heard James behind him but didn't look back. The last four days ran through his mind, the good and the bad playing back like a reel. They'd accomplished their task without too many issues. Craig might have been a hitch, but he hadn't ruined the mission.
After a quick stop to freshen up, Marshal headed to the control room, finding a tray of cold cut sandwiches and a bowl of pretzels. He grabbed a can of Coke and a sandwich before taking a seat. James came in then Duff and Grant. Marshal stood and strode over, clasping Grant's arm.
"Fuck, I was worried about you."
"Same here. I'm okay. I think he followed me for a bit but I didn't waste time getting out of the country."
"How do you think he found you?" Marshal asked.
"No clue. Maybe by chance, I don't know. He also could have had a tracer set on my alias that I came into the country with. I know we dropped a few, but not enough. He knows too much. Hell, he knows how we operate, what type of hotels we stay in and how we do missions."
"Shit," Duff snuffed as he grabbed a sandwich. "That's one more thing we have to do. We should have thought about all of the identities."
"We can take care of that this week." Grant turned to accept a hug from James before taking a seat.
"I was worried when you took off," James said.
"Yeah, I hate that I left you two alone. I've never run out on a mission like that." Grant popped a pretzel in his mouth and chewed.
"You didn't run out." Marshal took the seat opposite Grant, shooting the man a hard look.
"I felt like I ran out. It sucked."
Duff rolled his eyes. "That wasn't running out on a mission. You were made."
"Still, didn't like it. I know it was the right thing to do but it felt wrong."
"Yeah, I get that," James offered before taking another bite of his food.
Marshal detailed the mission, going over the basics until they got to the part where James began speaking about taking out McKay. He'd watched the whole thing on the video screen, wishing he could have been there to help but knowing that he was doing the right thing by running the computers.
"After the task, I cleaned up, wiping every surface completely then I left."
"I wiped the entire video file and started a new recording process. The video files were wiped every twenty-four hours and when I wiped them I did a secure delete."
"Are you sure there were no physical copies of the recordings?" Duff asked.
"I went through the house after I took care of McKay. I found the computer control room and there were no physical recording devices," James said.
"Okay, then I'm satisfied." Duff got up and grabbed a bottle of water. "James, the guy you got the credentials and clothes from, are you sure he won't put two and two together?"
"He might figure out that I stole his stuff, but he wasn't that bright." When Duff glanced away, James cut Marshal a glance, their gazes connecting.
Now was the time to bring up the subject of James having issues sleeping with strangers for missions, but he let it go. Even if he and James hashed it out, he bet that they would have to talk about it with Duff at some point. Ignoring the issue wouldn’t make it go away. James had to face it head on and admit he needed to change something before he settled into a bad habit that destroyed him.
Four hours later, Duff felt that they'd gone over everything. Marshal was satisfied that Craig hadn't found them and everyone seemed happy. In the morning, he'd return to his normal ranch duties. He looked forward to the task. Being just a cowboy had its benefits. Maybe when he tired of being an assassin, he would become a full-time cowboy. He wasn't done with this job yet, but living this way for too long would eventually get to him. The pressure was intense, and he had to compartmentalize so much just to do a job. Killing another person, no matter how terrible the other person was, still affected him. He didn't want to be that type of man who couldn’t take care of business. Being strong was important and the job they did mattered more than most. Few knew they existed and those who did, approved—usually.
*~*~*
Billy cracked open one eyelid, surprised to find the room in near darkness. Light from the window allowed him to make out a few details. He reached behind him, stretching out his hand, sighing with relief when he felt Tucker's warm body. Being inside of Tucker had been more amazing than he'd thought it would be. He rolled over and lifted the sheets with one finger, staring at the round globes of Tucker's perfect ass. The smooth skin had a light dusting of hair that left him wanting the man again. Tucker would be sore and it wouldn’t be right to fuck him again, not so soon.
Tucker had taken it so well. The way he opened up had been a huge turn-on. The heat had left him wanting more and more. The guy was beyond sexy with his eyes changing color as they made love. They'd gone from near blue to almost green as his pupils had grown. Never before had he seen that when having sex. Of course, he'd never really studied other guys so intently as they fucked. He hadn't just been fucking Tucker, they'd done so much more as they came together. It really had been making love. He hoped Tucker would admit his feelings soon, but growing up with the shit he'd experience had to have affected him so negatively that Billy wondered how long it would take for him to recover, or if he could ever recover.
After a few minutes Billy slid from the bed, seeing that it was near six in the morning. He would shower quickly then go find Duff. They needed to figure out the Craig situation. It might take them a long time to get to the bottom of the problem. Maybe they'd never figure it out, but he hoped they could either clear Craig of suspicion or they'd have the evidence to clean up the problem.
"Hey, babe." Tucker stood in the doorway to the bathroom, his body naked and glorious.
"Damn, you are sexy." Billy turned and took a step toward him but Tucker held up his hand, halting Billy's progress.
"Give me the mouthwash before you kiss me."
Billy laughed but handed over the bottle filled with noxious green stuff that burned the layer of sleep from his mouth. "Here you go. Freshen up and then I need to kiss you."
"Need?"
"Yeah, it's no longer want, but need. You see, you're so sexy. I'm blinded to everything else."
"Too funny." Tucker took a sip of the stuff and swished it around in his mouth before tilting his head back and gargling. He spit into the sink when wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "There, I'm human again."
"Good." Billy pressed him up against the wall, holding his hands above his head. He loved that Tucker hadn't thrown on any clothes. He enjoyed staring down his body, taking in the flat planes of his torso. Tucker wasn't overweight though he was a big guy. His muscles were impressive and he didn't doubt that if Tucker wanted to, he could toss him over his shoulders with little effort.
Billy's gaze settled on his dick. Soft, Tucker didn't look like much, his cock barely curving over his balls as it hung limp, but hard, he'd seen what that beast turned into. "Damn, you're beautiful."
Tucker's lips curved up in a crooked smile, his eyes bright. "You're awfully sexy yourself."
"I may look nice, but you are absolutely stunning. You have pure beauty."
"Thanks." Tucker ducked his head, but Billy caught the worried look on his face before he turned away."<
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"Hey, you do know it's okay for me to think you're beautiful. It doesn't mean you're not a man."
Tucker's head whipped up, his eyes were filled with pain. "It's just hard."
"I know but I'm here to help with that. I think you're very beautiful and I don't want you to doubt that, ever. Trust me, I'll keep telling you until you get used to it."
"Thanks, you're too good to me."
"No, I'm really not. I'm just finally giving you what you need and deserve."
Tucker reached out and Billy went to him, drawing him into the circle of his arms. "You make me feel special."
"It's because you are."
A knock sounded at their door, interrupting their hug.
"Yeah," Tucker called out.
"We have a meeting at eight. Both you and Billy need to come."
"Sure. We'll be there."
Billy waited five seconds before speaking. "Still bugs you that they know we're sleeping together?"
"A bit. I'm just not used to it. Maybe I'll never get used to it."
"You will. We're together now."
Tucker slipped out of his arms and into the shower. "What does that mean to you?" He turned on the spray, the noise echoing off the hard tile.
"I've wanted you for more than a year."
"That still freaks me out. You're my best friend here. Why didn't you say something earlier?"
"Do you really think you would have taken it well if we hadn't been best friends? Really, how would you have felt if I had kissed you when I realized that the interest I had for you was more than just idle lust? Would you really have welcomed my touches?"
Tucker shook his head. "No, I would have told you to leave me alone."
"We're good friends and that makes it harder and easier."
"Harder?" Tucker asked.
"Yeah, I didn't want to lose you as my best friend. You're too important to me."
"I'd freak out if I lost you. You mean too much to me."
"Come on, we have a meeting to get to after we take care of the horses."
Billy gently pushed Tucker into the spray. He grabbed the soap and washed off his best friend. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought it would be this easy to be with Tucker. When Tucker had run off after their first kiss, he really thought he'd blown it, now they were a couple and he sure as hell wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that.
Chapter Sixteen
Grant had heard enough, anger churned inside, and he didn't know if he could listen to another word. Craig wasn't a killer of innocents. He'd been with the man for years and never seen it. The evidence was compelling, almost enough for him to believe, but he didn't want to. They were still lacking the one piece of the puzzle that made it all work.
"I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time reconciling this." Marshal hadn't heard the evidence before and it seemed like he was just as shocked as Grant had been.
"I want to read through the reports on my own." James walked over to Billy and took the papers that detailed where Craig had been and how he'd purchased some of the items he needed for the bomb.
"There's a huge hole in this logic." Grant grasped his pencil, holding it tightly. "I don't see how Craig could kill innocent kids. When he was here, he was a total stickler for making sure the person was guilty. There were cases a few of us were willing to judge a bit softer than Craig and he said no."
"I agree," Duff said. "However, you have to admit that there were issues we all ignored. He wasn't perfect and you know it. He had problems and we didn't address them." Duff glanced down at his folder then his gaze rose, connecting with Grant's. "Craig was jealous."
"Don't go there." Grant stood, unable to listen to them bash his and Craig's relationship. "We may not have had a perfect relationship, but he wanted to be with me."
"Grant, I'm not saying that he didn't, but you know—"
"No, damn it." Grant turned his back on the group. Everything he'd feared about his relationship was coming out. While they were together, he'd really thought they were a great couple, in love and real, but he'd feared that they weren't. Now, after Craig had been gone a few months, everyone was ganging up on the man. Some of it was warranted. He had no clue what had really happened. Hell, the bastard had been acting strange, then he'd run off. In London, he'd been beyond bizarre.
Slowly Grant turned back to the men but was unable to meet their gazes. "Fuck, I hate that you're making me admit this to everyone. Fine, he didn't really love me. I thought he didn't but he didn't. Are you happy?"
"Grant—" Duff's voice was soft, twisting the knife deeper into his heart.
"Craig said as much when he saw me in London."
"I'm sorry," Marshal said.
Grant spun around, looking Marshal directly in the eyes. "He was jealous of you. Like that was ever going to happen, but he was afraid of what we had and I fell for his lines."
The truth hurt like crazy. They'd exposed his past for the lie it had been. All the things he'd thought were special between he and Craig had been fake. They hadn't really been a couple, not in the way he saw Tucker and Billy becoming. Maybe it was the life he led that left he and Craig unable to commit and become true lovers. But that didn't make any sense when you looked at the pair across from him. No, Billy really loved Tucker, and what they had would be real, not some fake crap like he'd settled for.
"The truth freaking hurts. Craig had issues and he fooled us all. I feel responsible."
"You aren't," Duff said. "Craig made his own decisions. He chose to act with evil instead of goodness. You can't blame yourself."
"Then who is to blame?" Grant asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
"No one," Marshal said.
"We still don't have a final answer. There are things that have to happen before we make a final decision. Grant, he lied to you. You have to live your life with the assurances that the people who love you the most actually want what is best for you. You didn't know he wasn't being honest and he played us all. He lived here at this ranch, in this house, and we never saw this coming from him. I'd like to think that if one of you were capable of killing innocent children, I'd be able to tell. If you'd asked me a few months back, I would have said no way could Craig do that, now I'm not so sure."
Grant wiped his face, wishing he could forget the problem and ignore the pain, but he wasn't one to run from controversy, and he sure as hell wouldn’t run from this. "We need to go through this one more time, make sure we have all the answers before we make a decision."
"We'll get to the bottom of it, I'll make sure," Billy said.
"I need to clear my head. I'm going to go check on the horses." Grant stood to leave but Marshal blocked his path.
"I've always believed in you."
"Marsh, you're a true friend. You've always stuck by me."
"I've tried."
He really appreciated everything Marshal had done for him, but right now he needed to be alone. "Thanks. I just need to think this through."
"You can always talk to me."
"I know." Grant left the command center and headed to the barn. The new horse that Tucker had picked up ran away from the fence as he passed by his paddock. The animal was skittish, but not so much that he'd be too frightened to breed. It seemed that Tucker had made a good decision. Of course, he'd thought he'd made a good one when he got together with Craig. They were perfect for each other, and if he were truthful, he'd had a crush on the man long before they hooked up.
He checked on the stalls and the food, finding everything already done. After rearranging some of the tack, he headed out the backside of the barn. If they didn't have a solution by the end of the week, he'd take matters into his own hands and solve it for them.
*~*~*
The next two nights Billy slept with Tucker, wrapped in his arms, making love as if they were teenagers, getting naked every chance they got. On Friday morning they headed into town to pick up feed for the animals and a few groceries. Billy usually didn't enjoy the task but being able
to spend time with Tucker away from the ranch was a nice change. Out here, there were no missions and no emergencies. The bad stuff still existed but they didn't mention it. Topics like Craig were also ignored; instead, they rode in a companionable silence with brief snippets of small talk about the weather or the land.
Thinking of Craig made his head throb. That the man he'd thought to have known so well was capable of killing kids had him wondering if he should have the responsibilities that he did, making difficult decisions when he couldn't even see the problems in his own house. They all had taken lives, leaving behind sadness and pain, but killing twenty-four innocent kids was so far out of his ability to comprehend the act that he pushed aside the thoughts, trying to forget what they did for a living for just a bit.
"We need to pick up more burgers." Tucker was staring out the window, his face turned away.
"Yeah, that and steaks." They drove another fifteen minutes before they hit town. "You want to stop for an ice cream?" Billy asked as they approached the Dairy Queen.
"I'm a little hungry. Sounds good."
He parked and slid out of the truck, wishing that they were in a city where they could hold hands. Tucker may not be ready to show his affection in public, but Billy wondered if that would change if they were in Los Angeles or San Francisco. If he were surrounded by other gay men, would it break down the barriers? Billy had seen couples in cities like that holding hands while others wouldn’t touch each other. Everyone had their own level of comfort, and he needed to respect Tucker's.
From the parking lot he could see that the morning coffee gossips were gone and hadn't been replaced by the nighttime family crowd so the place was empty. The town was small but it did have a pattern like all cities, just on a much smaller level.
The door dinged when they entered, alerting the cashier. Her head shot up and she smiled, showing white teeth displayed between painted on red lips. "Well, if it ain't my favorite cowboy, Tucker Smith. I haven't seen you in months."