He dropped his hand but held my gaze. “Why do you think I pushed you towards Michael? I knew Val wouldn’t allow his son to be the man he or I were. Hell, he gave me grief about recruiting Anthony to be one of us. But I saw a passion in Anthony’s eyes and that’s why I gave him a job. The only thing was; I had misread what that passion was for. You see it came from a good place, a good spot inside of him, one I didn’t have so I couldn’t recognize in someone else. He wanted to be someone, to be a man, but he didn’t have anyone to teach him how to do that. The men he was surrounded by were no good. We were street guys that once wanted to be men too but instead of being honorable men who made their families proud we were men who stole, cheated, and killed. Nothing honorable about that.”
I didn’t know when I had started to cry but the tears slid down my cheeks. I brought the backs of my hands up to my face to wipe them away.
“I took advantage of Anthony and when I realized that you didn’t have some silly little school girl crush on him it was too late. I had already gotten my hooks in him and that’s when I changed. I didn’t stop loving you Adrianna I started hating myself. I hated myself because I couldn’t fix what I had so badly broken.”
“Why couldn’t you let him go?” I asked through my sobs. “Why did you send him away? We were going to have a baby! You told me to have an abortion. I was carrying your grandchild! What kind of monster says that to his daughter?”
“The kind that had lost all control,” he replied quietly, repositioning himself on the sofa, turning his body around to mine. “I couldn’t just let him go because I knew he would be the winner. You don’t understand how my world works Adrianna and I don’t want you to. But I created Anthony, not the man you love but the man he is on the streets. He became an asset to my organization and if I had cut him loose, I would’ve looked weak in the eyes of my enemies, something a man in my position can’t afford. I’m the one who lives each day knowing I can never change what I’ve done.”
“Your life might be a game but mine isn’t, and neither is Anthony’s! We lost a child, he went to jail for three years, do you know how much pain and suffering we have endured because of you?” I paused. “I killed a man last night and not any man but Nikki’s boyfriend. When does it end? When do we get to break free from you?”
I covered my mouth, shocked that I found the courage to say the words that lived in my heart for so many years. I stood from the couch and looked away from my father because as much as I hated him I didn’t want to see the pain in his eyes. He deserved to hurt, to feel half the pain he caused me, but still I hated that I was the reason behind his pained expression. It was that moment I learned I could hate someone but still love them so very much.
“I don’t want you going home. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get back to Brooklyn and I don’t want you hanging around the neighborhood if I’m not there.”
“This is ridiculous Anthony, I’m going home,” My mother said.
“Please can you humor me? I’ll have Riggs take you to Lauren’s. Come on, the two of you can spend a few days together and then you come back home. Don’t make it like it’s such a hardship, you’re moving up there anyway, so why not go for a visit now?”
“That’s exactly the point. I’m moving in two weeks, I have things to take care of, stuff to pack. I know you people drop everything when Victor says so but I don’t.”
“Victor’s not asking, I am,” I stated quietly.
She stared at me for a moment before shaking her head. “I could never say no to you,” I started to smile, but she wagged her finger at me and snarled. “Don’t you dare grin at me, I hate that I can’t deny you when you completely ignore every one of my requests. I don’t mean to be a nag Anthony it’s just that I want to see you happy. I don’t think asking that both my kids be happy and settled before I drop dead is too much.”
“Lucky for me and Lauren, our mother is young and not going anywhere anytime soon, giving us enough time to get our shit together,” I said, winking at her.
“Yeah, yeah…” she said rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “You’re really going to make me drive with that kid again?”
“Riggs is good people. He might be a biker but the club he’s a part of are nothing but a group of loyal men. Their president has become a good friend of mine.”
“Of course he is, my son only rolls with the good criminals,” she said smartly, the corners of her mouth curved for a second before her face grew serious. “Stay out of trouble Anthony, whether you’re aware or not, you have a family to take care of. That woman and her little boy need you in their life,” she stated, making herself very clear.
I wondered when my mother had started to think of Adrianna and Luca as my family. She was right, they were my family, and they needed me. I didn’t want to let them down or hurt them in any way. It’s strange how someone can want something so badly they can taste it, but at the same time be so scared. I’m not a man who frightens easily but taking that leap, claiming them as my own, scared the fuck out of me. I had told myself I’d only allow them to be mine if I could do right by them, if I could assure them and myself that I was the right man for them, that I deserved them. What made a man deserving of a family? Was it what he could provide for them? Financial security and safety should matter but was it everything? If it was a question of love I had that in spades to give, I was sure that no one would ever love Adrianna or Luca the way I did. I wasn’t sure it was enough though.
Victor cleared his throat entering the kitchen and looked between my mother and me, finally setting his gaze on me.
“I’m sorry to interrupt but I have to get on the road and I wanted to have a word with you before I left,” he requested, glancing over my shoulder at my mother. I watched as her eyes found his, held them, and seemed to have exchanged words without speaking. She patted my hand and rose from her seat.
“Go ahead, I’m going to tell Adrianna that I’ll be leaving,” she said, before looking at Victor. “It’s about time you did the right thing,” she murmured as she walked passed him and out of the kitchen.
“How is she?” I asked once my mother was out of sight.
Victor sighed, running his hands over his face tiredly, finally setting his eyes on me.
“Not good, but that’s nothing new is it? She’s been hurting for quite some time,” he acknowledged, shaking his head in understanding. “What happened last night was the last straw that broke the camel’s back.”
“Do you even know what happened last night?” I asked.
“I know that rat bastard was working Nikki this whole damn time. I should’ve seen it, I should’ve been able to point him out,” he growled shrugging his shoulders. “He wasn’t even on my radar.”
I couldn’t argue with him, because I felt the same way he did. One of us should’ve been able to figure Rico was no good. The only one who had any kind of suspicion was Mike and we all had dismissed his concerns thinking he was just jealous and wanted Nikki for himself.
“I didn’t get a chance to tell Adrianna but before I came out here I went to see Nikki and Michael. I’m sending them to my sister’s in Florida for the time being. I don’t know who Rico was working with but I’m sure whoever it is knows too much about Nicole. If they were using her to get to me before – then they’ll do it again. Especially since Rico’s out of the picture, she’s their last link.”
“What are we going to do about Rico?” I asked as I crossed my arms against my chest, my stare drilling into him.
He squinted, peering at me suspiciously. “What are you asking me? We’re not going to give him a proper funeral and buy a fancy casket. He’s dead let him be somebody else’s problem.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. There’s no hiding the body, pretending like it never happened. Someone’s going to pay for all the bodies decorating the floor of your club.”
“Someone’s going to pay for a lot more than just bodies,” Victor mumbled. “I’ll take care of it.”
>
“Vic, she’s not going down for this,” I said, gravely. “If the cops get wind that Adrianna was the one who pulled the trigger, I’m confessing,” I cocked my head to the side. “Shouldn’t be hard for you to wrap your head around that. It’s not like I haven’t done it before and at least this time it would be worth it.”
Victor leaned across the kitchen table, his eyes harsh as they pierced mine. “Let’s get it all out there boy, once and for all before Adrianna was your woman, she was my daughter. From the first breath she took, until the last one I take, she will always be my daughter and my responsibility. Now I know you love her and I respect that. I didn’t always, if we’re being honest and laying it all out there, I didn’t respect your love for her until recently. I saw you try to do the selfless thing, staying away from her even though you wanted nothing more than to get back with her.”
He had my undivided attention and for the first time in years, I actually wanted to hear what Vic was saying. He leaned back in his chair and sighed, looking down at his lap. His voice became hoarse as he avoided my eyes.
“I see the way you look at her, the way you look at my grandson.” He pauses for a moment taking in a breath. “You look at that little boy like he’s yours, like you want a chance to be his father.” Lifting his head looking at me, I am shocked to see his bloodshot eyes that are full with tears. “I bet you’ll be a good dad.” He smiled sadly, rendering me speechless, but that was fine because Vic wasn’t finished speaking. “I owe you an apology. Hell, I owe you a lot more than apology but right now it’s all I have to offer.”
I blew out a shaky breath, leaning back in my chair as I stared at the stranger sitting before me. This wasn’t the man I detested, the man who robbed me of everything I had wanted in life. I didn’t know who the fuck he was.
“You’re a good man, Anthony. I’m sorry for filling your head with doubts and making you think you’re undeserving of Adrianna. The truth is that no one is better suited on this earth for her than you.”
His words punched me in the gut, knocking the wind from my lungs. I never realized how badly I wanted Vic’s approval, how much I craved his blessing to be the man in his daughter’s life. No, I hadn’t realized it, until that moment when he told me he accepted me for his little girl.
“I knew it the first time I saw you with her, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how watching you with her made me feel,” he said smiling slightly. “I’ve always felt like you were taking her from me.” His smile faltered and he looked at me sadly. “So I had to take her from you first,” he continued as he propped his elbows on the table and covered his mouth with one hand, gathering his thoughts before saying more. “I only hope that one day you have a daughter because then maybe, just maybe, you’ll think of me and you’ll be able to forgive me. Anthony, I know you love Adrianna. I know you can’t imagine loving anyone or anything the way you love her but I can guarantee you that when you set your eyes on your own daughter you won’t know what hit you. She’ll be everything to you, the apple of your eye and the rhythm of your heartbeat. She’ll complete you,” He smiles as a tear slides down his cheek.
I looked down blinking my own tears away. Listening to Vic talk about me having a daughter, describing the love he has for his own and how I’d feel the same if I had a daughter was a lot to take in.
“And the beauty of it is that you’ll do everything right, whereas I did everything wrong. You’ll know when to hold her close and when to let her spread her wings. You’ll be the first man she loves and when she meets the one that will be her last, you’ll hate it, but you will be a better man, a better father because you will do everything I didn’t do.”
I lifted my head, wiped away my tears with my hands, and stared at Vic. I never let myself think that far into the future, never believing a man like me could have any of that. When I was a young kid I looked at Victor and wanted everything, he had the money, the power, and the respect. Looking at him now, I wanted everything he had thrown away, everything he had lost but inspired me to have. I wanted a wife, I wanted my son, and by God, I wanted a little girl that looked just like her Mama. I wanted to feel all the things Vic described. I wanted to hang onto them because watching him fall apart in front of me, realizing all he had lost was enough for me not to want to be anything like him.
“I want out Vic,” I said, looking him in the eye. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“I know,” said he replied and then slapped his hands onto his thighs and pushed back his chair. “Give me some time. I’m going to straighten everything out in the meantime.” He stood up and walked over to me, slapping me gently on the back. “Take your family to the house by the Canadian border. Take Luca to see the falls, learn how to be a family and I’ll take care of everything else.”
He gave me one last pat on the back before walking towards the doorway of the kitchen.
Hey Vic?” I called. He paused and looked over his shoulder at me. “Does that mean I have your blessing?” I asked hoarsely.
His tired face stared at me for a moment before his lips curved and he winked at me. He didn’t have to say the words, they were shouted from the depths of his eyes.
Yes.
Chapter Thirty-One: 2015
After my father had left and Riggs had taken Maria to stay with Lauren, it was just the three of us. Anthony bought a car seat for Luca, packed us up and we headed out on the road. We had to leave the summerhouse in case anyone had followed my father there. Now we were in one of his safe houses tucked close to the Canadian border. It had been a week since the shoot-out, seven days since I shot and killed a man. I reminded myself each day I woke, what a horrible person I was, but I was still able to function.
I didn’t know what the proper etiquette was for killing someone, my father never looked torn up by it, and maybe I really was the spawn of the devil. Like my dad, I put on the face, went through the motions, and even though my mind would wander to the memory of Rico lying dead in a pool of his own blood, I pushed it aside. I wasn’t remorseful for taking his life but it bothered me that what I did affected my sister. There was a difference between me and the devil, my dad never cared about consequences, it didn’t matter who he killed or who he hurt. Every pull of his trigger was a reflection on us and that was never a thought in his mind.
I killed Rico because he was going to kill Anthony. I’ll never be sorry for saving the man I love and if I had to do it all over again, I would without hesitation. However, I hate that Rico was tied to my sister. I hate I’m the cause of any of the hurt she may be feeling. I hate that seven days have come and gone and I still have yet to speak to Nikki or apologize for what I’ve done.
I wasn’t sure if we were on the run or simply traveling but whatever you want to call it; it wasn’t easy doing it with a toddler. Since we arrived at the house, Anthony must have made a dozen trips to Babies R Us buying all the things that Luca needed. The house was like a real home and not a safe house. I could get used to this life we were living, pretending to the world we were a family. I had to remind myself that it was all just temporary. When we got back to our normal lives Anthony would go his way, and I’d go mine, just like always. It was never permanent. There was always one reason or another that we could never be a family, something lurking around every corner that always managed to ruin things for us.
I turned over on my back and glanced to the left of me where Anthony lay on his stomach sleeping. He was always such a restless sleeper, taking up most of the bed and the sheets but tonight he had mixed the sheets all together. He slept in the nude with the pillow over his head. My eyes scanned the length of his body, traveling over the sinewy muscles to the beautiful tattoo that spanned across his entire back. I sat up leaning over him and traced the A with my index finger.
“It’s not going to disappear,” he mumbled under the pillow. I reached up and pulled the pillow from his head as he lifted his head slightly and glanced over his shoulder at me.
“Are you sure?” I ask
ed sarcastically, chucking the pillow across the room and untangling the sheets from my body. I threw one leg over his body and straddled him, my naked body taking a seat on top of his tight ass. I leaned forward and heard him moan as my hands worked his shoulders and slid down the cords of his back as I stared at the art that decorated his skin.
“I might want one,” I whispered, running my hands back up his back and leaned over his body, pressing my mouth to his ear. “What do you think?”
“It’s your body and you should do whatever makes you happy,” he mumbled.
“Where should I get it?” I asked, trailing kisses down his neck. “I was thinking my hip.”
He reached behind him and grabbed my wrist, pulling me off him and changing positions. My back fell into the mattress and his body covered mine. His hooded eyes pierced mine as his fingers dug into my hips.
“Which hip?” He asked huskily.
“I didn’t get that far,” I said before biting my lip and arching my hips only for him to push back.
His body started to move, inching lower until his mouth was level with my hips finally kissing each hip, his teeth grazing my flesh. His lips inching lower, teetering towards the part of my body he owned.
“All for you getting ink, Reese’s.” He lifted his head from my body, spreading my legs wide and then met my gaze. “As long as no man goes where I’m about to,” he groaned as his fingers moved further down towards the lips of my pussy. “You should make that tattoo a little higher and not so close to this,” he said, lifting his finger to my mouth. I lifted my head from the pillow and wrapped my lips around his finger, taking his digit into my mouth and sucking before pulling my mouth off with a pop. He cursed underneath his breath before tracing the seam of pussy with his wet finger.
Forbidden Temptations (Tempted Series Book 2) Page 27