by J. L. Beck
“Hey are you okay?” She asks a concerned look on her face. I know fear is clearly written all over mine so I do the only thing I can to comfort myself, and I grab her in a hug.
“It’s okay, whatever it is, it’ll be okay.” She says trying to comfort me. The words begin to flow from my mouth like an over flowing river dam. I tell her about Ryder and how I had to punch him, how I ran from him and how alone I felt.
By the time I pull away from her to look at her face, she seems angry, but she’s also looking at me like I may have done LSD or something.
“I’m not making this up Mimi, I want to leave. I don’t care about finding Rex right now. I care about getting out of here before I get approached again.” The thought of leaving Rex here without telling him makes me sad, but the anger I have towards him takes place of that sadness. Why didn’t he tell me?
“Okay. Okay.” Mimi says, looking as if she still doesn’t believe what I’m saying. This whole incident is frustrating, and a whole lot more than I can handle. All I wanted was one normal night, and I got anything but that.
We make our way down the stairs, Mimi in front of me as if she’s my defender to all things evil. All we have to do is make it up to the door keeper and get our keys. The music, lights, and the dancing make it ten times harder than it needs to be to get where we’re going.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay? Maybe he was a look-alike; you know it is Halloween Jenna.” Is she serious right now?
“You're kidding right?” I say stopping in my tracks. She shrugs her shoulders at me, and I’m about five seconds from finding a ride home with someone else. No make that three seconds. Yup.
“Are you sure someone didn’t slip something in your drink?” My heart feels as if it’s going to beat out of my chest. I can’t find Rex, his look-alike twin is harassing me, and my best friend thinks I’m losing my mind. The bullshit is getting way too deep in here.
“You know what, I’ll just walk, thanks.” I say sliding past her hightailing it to the door before she gets the chance to stop me. “Don’t believe me that’s fine, but I’m not going to stand there trying to convince you.” Pushing through the doorway to go outside, I almost run into a very drunk and sick Teddy. Poor guy.
He’s leaning over the edge of the wrap-around porch puking his ever loving guts out. This place is a mad house, and from tonight’s experiences I know I should have taken Rex up on his offer to stay home. Then again, I never would have met Ryder or discovered that I have a whole lot more to learn about Rex.
Mimi’s voice vibrates my thoughts as I hear her yelling my name. She comes barreling out the door and right into me. I catch myself on the railing of the porch mere feet from puking Teddy. The smell of his vomit has my stomach churning, and my eyes watering.
“Where are you going? Trying to get out of there is like trying to break out of a maximum security prison.” She says purging her nose from the obscene smell that has my eyes watering. Pushing her off of me, I move down the front steps of the porch and out into the yard. Fresh air, that’s what I need. I take deep gulping breaths as if I’ve been unable to take a whole breath the entire time I’ve been here.
“You didn’t actually think I would let you walk home alone… also I don’t think you're crazy at all. I saw Rex’s look -alike too. He was standing by the punch bowl getting very friendly with Marie.” Her voice was drenched in sarcasm, and I was getting the feeling that she was starting to hate my tormentors more than I was.
“That’s good I honestly don’t care as long as he leaves me alone. I wanted to talk to Rex, because hello, how does someone forget to tell their friend- girl friend, whatever the hell we are that you have a twin; and an evil one at that.” I’m astonished, that I started falling for someone that I clearly didn’t know, and though it’s a small thing, that’s how all things like this start.
We make the trek up the dirt road, to Mimi’s jeep. Mimi interrupts the silence by throwing her input in. “You know there could be a very logical reason as to why he never told you about him.” Of course she tries to take the bad parts of things, and see the good in them.
“No Mimi, there is just no logical reason for not telling me that you have a twin brother who looks just like you, and doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. There is no logical reason for lying, or stupidity.” I say… the words getting caught in my throat.
“But he didn’t lie.” She mumbles out, stopping me in my place. I’m angry. I’m angry at him for lying, I’m angry at myself for believing him, and I’m pissed that my best friend though everything I’ve told her tonight is still taking his side. She’s my best friend which means she should be taking my side, not his.
“Stop… just stop okay. He did lie, withholding information like that is the same as a lie, and anything short of not telling me is a lie. I’ve been lied to and treated like dirt more often than not Mimi, you know this, he knows this, and therefore he should’ve told me.” I start walking again but notice Mimi hasn’t moved from her spot yet.
“You know, you weren’t even dating yet, heck you're not dating now yet, well officially. Don’t you think you're overreacting a little bit?” Her voice is meek and unsure as if she didn’t think that she should’ve said it. The shock value of this entire night just went through the roof.
“Overreacting? Overreacting would be, ordering a hot fudge sundae and getting a milkshake, it’s still ice cream. This isn’t anywhere near that kind of thing. It’s simple don’t lie to me when I already have issues trusting people. Which by the way who the hell’s side are you on?” The thought of her being on anyone’s side but mine has my blood boiling.
She looks astounded and I can feel the night getting better and better.
“Oh stop being obnoxious Jenna. Of course I’m on your side. I’m just telling you that not everything is black and white. We all have reasons why we keep secrets, and we all do have them. Just because his reasons for not telling you are different than your own doesn’t mean that the value factor of it is any less. Stop acting like you can’t trust me, I’m your best friend and I’m going to tell you exactly what I think, and right now I think you're being a bitch…and being slightly selfish.” The crisp October air sends her breaths up in clouds. The moon shines down on both of us as we stand in the open cornfield.
“Did you just call me a selfish bitch?” I ask. Her words eat through my thick wall of anger, shedding light on the matter that I never thought to dig deeper into. All I was seeing was anger.
“Yes I did. All I’m saying is don’t crucify Rex for using the same vices you do all the time, for withholding information. We all have demons, things we don’t want other people to know. Don’t judge him because his are different than yours.” In this cornfield, at the hour of eleven pm it dawns on me the real meaning of friendship. How someone like me became best friends with someone who’s my complete opposite. Our friendship has been tested in more ways than one tonight, here she still stands, and once again she’s right.
“How do you know what to say to bring me out of my funk you little snatch?” A smile that I know all too well, filled with love forms on Mimi’s face, and I know that everything that happened tonight is now behind us.
“I don’t actually I just tell you how it is and hope it doesn’t end our friendship.” She huffs out, her teeth clattering together from the cold October air. “I’m all for heart to hearts and all, but it’s cold as hell out here and I think one of my lips are frozen. Do you think we could leave now? Cause otherwise your ass is getting left behind.”
I rub my hands up and down my arms trying to bring some type of warmth back into them. “Yeah let’s go.” I say as we walk the rest of the way up to the car. Monday sure is going to be an interesting day of school and for the first time ever, I’m actually excited to see what’s to come.
Oompa-Loompa-Green
I walk into school Monday fully aware that utter madness and chaos could, in fact and most definitely will ensure around us. If Corey t
ook a shower at any point and time this weekend, which he more than likely did, we’re in for one hell of a treat. Then the fact that I still have to confront Rex about his evil twin, and identify if were really together or just friends, leaves plenty of room for error.
I throw my books in my locker, and head into the lunch room for breakfast. Grabbing an apple, a carton of milk, and some frosted flakes I go through the line and pay for my food all while scanning the room for Rex, or Mimi. What I find is anything but that. Sitting in our usual spot is Rex’s twin and my arch enemy Ryder; who I almost broke my hand on. Vengeance and anger take suit and I should’ve known this day could get worse.
“You look adorable today Jenna. Did you do something different with your hair? It looks more, I don’t know…” His voice is smooth but gives me the feeling of nails on a chalkboard.
“Why are you here, you don’t even go to this school.” I say sitting five seats away from him. I would love to sit anywhere else in this room, but I don’t, because in a way I know if I can get close enough, without actually being close I can get some answers.
“I do now sweetheart, maybe you can show me around.” He says winking, my appetite vanishes immediately. In no way would this guy come to this school, and sit in our spot, know my name, or assault me without some kind of agenda.
“What do you want? I thought I made it pretty obvious when I punched you in the face that I didn’t want or need anything from you. Take a hint, not everybody wants you.” I say dryly giving him the all known leave-Jenna-the-fuck-alone-look. He should take my advice because I get the feeling I’m not done punching people in the face. There’s a little bit of gas still in my tank, all I need is a spark to set me off, and we could be good to go. Good for me, not so good for him.
“Now, now dear Jenna. Didn’t anyone ever tell you, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?” He scoots down a couple seats where I’m unable to avoid his eye contact or presence. I dig my nails deeper into my palm, willing myself to not act out in violence.
“That’s funny, because last I checked I wasn’t trying to catch anything.” I spoon a big heap of frosted flakes into my mouth, avoid his stare all together by looking down into my plastic container.
“Don’t you want to know the truth? Don’t you want to know about me? Why no one ever told you anything. I bet there are tons of questions brewing in that little mind of yours. Let’s face it you know nothing, and you need me.” He sits back casually acting as if he just solved the world’s crisis on fresh water. He’s sly, and I don’t like it one bit.
Putting my spoon down I lean across the table, I would love to say that the closeness doesn’t have an effect on me but then I would be lying. “You think you’re sly…” I say before he all but interrupts me. “No, I know I am…” He says leaning into me more. If I moved just an inch to the right our noses would be touching.
“I don’t need you; anything that hasn’t been said to me will be said to me when Rex is good and ready to tell me. I trust him, therefore whatever questions I have will be directed to him and not his douchebag of a brother.” Our eyes don’t waiver from one another’s, as he reaches out for my apple.
“You shouldn’t,” he says tight lipped as he runs his fingers over the small imperfections. I’m so caught up and watching him hold my apple I forget what we're talking about. “Huh?”
He smiles, that evil one which says he knows that kind of power he has over you, and suddenly my hate for him goes through the roof. I hate guys like him, they’re just like Corey, and guys like Corey are a waste of time and space.
“You shouldn’t trust him. You don’t even know him, for instance he didn’t even tell you he had a twin, and a mighty fine one if you ask me.” Exactly, my point how can someone forget that they have a twin, however I’m not going to be admitting that to him today.
“You’re wasting your time here, I know enough about him to trust him, as for him not telling me about you, well I’m sure there’s a very logical reason, for instance the fact that you harass young women even after they have told you no.” I state the fact as if it’s all knowing.
“Plus, I’m not sure I would want to admit to having a brother like you under those circumstances, it would probably be a bit embarrassing.” I let my statement sink in a little bit, but don’t get the results I’m expecting. What I do get is, Ryder laughing at me as if I just said something hilarious.
“Ahh. You know who’s wasting their time? You. Because you have so much potential to be with whoever you want, yet you pick my douche-hole of a brother, who by the way wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit him right in the face. I’m here to tell you don’t let him fool you, because if he doesn’t tell you I will.” There’s not a flaw or show of emotion at all in his voice. Whatever he’s hinting at he’s saying with honesty and genuine care, and for an itty bitty second I feel bad about punching him in that face.
“What do you care if your brother uses me? Your cousin did and you weren’t here to save the day.” I can’t hide the hurt in my voice, the fact that he knows there's something going on that I don’t, angers me. It saddens me, I want to ask, I want to beg to know, but I know it’s not him who needs to tell me.
“You know that’s a good question, any given day I would be using a girl like you for whatever I wanted. But you, no. There’s so much more to you. You’ve gone through so much, and for once I want to see someone else win. I want to see you walk away happy. I want you to make the choice about your happiness and not let others dictate you.”
“Pshh. You don’t even know me…how can you say any of those things?” I feel my voice crack, and in that huge wall I’ve been building; a crack straight down the middle, and so deep that every time I breathe, I feel it. I feel the pain that’s on the other side, the pain I’ve been trying to hide.
“I know more about you then you think sweetheart. What I did Friday night was a mistake, I was set up. Hate me, curse me, whatever, but remember we all have our own flaws.” Confusion sets in as he gets up and walks away leaving me with nothing but his words, and my own thoughts. What does he mean he was set up, and did he have a past similar to mine? No way could anyone understand unless they knew what it felt like to be in my shoes. I got the feeling judging him should’ve been the last thing I was doing. This was way too much crap to lay on someone who hadn’t even made it through breakfast yet.
***
It would be two hours before I had a class with Rex, and even longer before I got the chance to talk to him. I could practically feel the lies and secrets compiling making it harder and harder for me to feel close to him. Yes I still wanted him like crazy, I had never wanted anything more in my life, but life wasn’t a fairy tale story and sometimes you just didn’t get what you wanted. Plus you couldn’t have a relationship without trust, and I got the feeling that’s right where we were headed.
I had just got my tray of food and sat down next to Mimi, when shit really hit the fan. No one had seen Corey all day and that was supposed to be the highlight, you can imagine how let down we were when he didn’t show in homeroom, or any classes.
“MIMI. JONES.” A voice bellowed, one that I knew too well, and for once was glad that it wasn’t directed at me. An evil grin showed on her face as she said, “That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” Not even looking the slightest bit phased that a guy twice her size was radiating anger. I looked up from my tray for a second, and saw anger and fury in Corey’s eyes that I had never seen before, put there by my crazy ass friend. I had to stop myself from laughing as I took sight of his green dyed skin and hair. A smell of vegetable beef stock radiated from him.
He rounded the tables stopping directly next to Mimi’s sitting position. His eyes were black and for this first time ever, I think Mimi pissed him off more than anyone I had ever seen. “Can I help you? As you can see I’m trying to eat my lunch,” her voice taking on a sing-song tone. She appeared innocent but to Corey she was anything but.
“What the fuck is wrong with yo
u? Have you lost your ever-loving mind? Look at me,” his voice booming above all the other clatter in the lunch room. This was bad, really bad.
Mimi still seemed unfazed, but as for me I was ready to remove myself from the table. I had been on the receiving end of his anger and terror, and I didn’t want this bringing on any memories. Somehow my best friend had managed to draw the attention away from me and Rex and I wanted it to stay that way. I went to pick up my tray, but stopped abruptly because of the look in Corey’s eyes. Where was Rex, I hadn’t seen him in class, heck I didn’t even know if he was here, and I desperately needed to talk to him.
“Whatever your beef is…” She said in between giggles as she slipped a piece of watermelon into her mouth, “you can take it elsewhere.” The lunchroom was becoming quieter as everyone started paying more attention to them.
“You know beef, because you smell like beef, is that a new cologne. It smells like…” she said, making a gesture as if she was sniffing the air…. “My grandma’s vegetable soup.” Murderous rage was becoming more evident in his facial features. I almost wanted to close my eyes, but it was like watching a plane crash. You were scared for everyone, but you just couldn’t look away.
“You will pay for this Mimi, I swear. I’ll have you bawling your eyes out. You don’t want to play games with me, ask Jenna it never ended well for her.” His voice sends shivers down my spine. For a short amount of time it was great not having the attention put on me, and though there are some things that needed to be discussed between me and Rex, it was almost like being a regular teenager.
“That’s weird… for some unknown reason I just don’t seem to care. All you do is bully people, you bullied Jenna, and you bullied and used me. Seems like all your good at or known for is making people cry, pissing them off, or making them sad. Really seems like you’re going somewhere, so please keep enlightening me about how much you hate me, and how much you're going to hurt me when we both know you won't do anything. All you are is a sad son of a bitch who hates himself so much that he has to hate on everyone else to make himself even feel the slightest bit of happiness… and that is not mine, Jenna’s or anyone else’s fault. You brought this on yourself. I’m just saying what no one else has the balls to say.”