by Linda Bridey
“You looked so…primal, so virile out there,” she told him. Ben hadn’t put his shirt back on yet and she let her eyes roam over his sweaty, muscular torso.
Ben saw the spark of passion in her eyes and wanted to take her back upstairs. Instead he said, “Thank you, sugar. Let’s get a drink and sit down a little while.”
Sasha said, “All right.”
On the way to the bar, people congratulated Ben and Sasha smiled as they stepped up to the bar. Jake handed Ben a shot and said, “A drink for the winner.”
Ben downed it and Jake threw him a clean bar rag. Ben wiped sweat from his upper body and then threw the rag in the dirty rag bin with the others to be washed. Sasha could have groaned as Ben’s glorious body was covered once again as he put on his shirt. She stepped a little closer to Ben and inhaled the musky scent of his overheated body and sighed. He smelled intoxicating.
Suddenly Luke Samuels, Seth’s cousin, came shoving his way through the crowd. “Ben! You gotta come with me!” he said as he grabbed Ben’s arm and pulled him with him. At six foot four and weighing two-hundred pounds, Luke was one of the biggest men in the area and he easily moved people out of the way.
Luke let Ben’s arm go and said, “It’s Wendell. He collapsed. We can’t get him to wake up.”
Ben ran up onto the stage and motioned for everyone to stay back. Joe set about quieting the place down along with Sammi and Reckless’ assistance. Ben checked Wendell’s breathing, but there was no respiration. He pushed Wendell’s arms above his head and began chest compressions. He counted off sixteen per minute and kept checking Wendell’s breathing after each minute.
“Come on, Wendell!” Ben said. “You have to wake up, ole boy.” He continued with the chest compressions, willing Wendell to start breathing again. But, by the time fifteen minutes had gone by, Ben knew it was useless to continue. He rested back on his haunches and shook his head.
Immediately, Sammi and Reckless started moving people out the door as Jake came over to Wendell and knelt by his friend’s lifeless form. Joe joined him and rested his hand on Wendell’s shoulder. Neither man spoke. They couldn’t have if they’d tried. Seth, Jamie, Luke, and Rebecca also gathered around their close friend and piano player.
Only Ben kept from crying. He couldn’t afford to give in to his grief right then. He had to gather himself and get Wendell to the undertaker’s. Wendell’s only family were the people surrounding him at that moment, so there was no one else to notify.
Ben drew on his physician’s detachment and asked, “Seth, do you have one of your teams here?”
Seth sniffed and said, “Yeah.”
“May I use it to get Wendell to Briggs’ place?” Ben said.
Seth nodded and said, “I’ll go pull it around to the back.” His footsteps were heavy as he left the stage. Maddie joined him and took his hand. Seth gripped it tightly and walked out the door with her.
Chapter Nine
Ben and Marcus handled the deaths of their patients much differently. Marcus felt each loss deeply and was known for shedding tears easily. Ben withdrew into himself for several days, sometimes. He went about his job and talked to people, but there was no spark to him, no real emotion in his eyes.
Marcus had learned to leave him alone and let him deal with it in his own way. The fact that Wendell had been a close friend of Ben’s made it even worse. Marcus understood this all too well. He’d lost some good friends over the years, both white and Lakota, and each death was a blow to him.
The day after Wendell’s death, Ben sat at his desk staring into space when Marcus came in and sat down. He eyed Ben but didn’t speak. Sometimes the best way to offer support was to just sit quietly with someone. He opened a medical journal he’d been reading and started marking off a section he wanted Mike to read.
Ben never looked at him, never acknowledged his presence. He sat with his elbows resting on the desk, eyes downcast. Marcus swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat and cursed his sensitivity again. He fought back tears and turned back to his journal to distract himself.
There was a soft knock at the door and Marcus looked up to see Sasha standing there. Marcus offered her a small smile and waved her into the office. She came forward, returned Marcus’ smile and then turned her attention to Ben. She arched an eyebrow at Marcus, who shook his head.
“Ben?” Sasha said softly.
He didn’t react.
Sasha went closer and put her hand under his chin and made him look at her. She had been worried about Ben and saw that he was in tremendous pain. She wanted nothing more than to comfort him. She smoothed his hair away from his brow and smiled at him a little.
“Ben, I’m so sorry,” she said, and kissed his forehead.
Marcus watched, expecting Ben to rebuff Sasha. He was shocked when Ben threw his arms around Sasha’s waist and held on to her. Sasha ran her hands over Ben’s hair and crooned to him. Tears filled her eyes and she suddenly felt Ben shake and hold her tighter.
Never had Marcus seen Ben get emotional over a patient, and he knew that Ben’s release of tears had something to do with Sasha. She touched some place deep inside Ben. Marcus rose and silently left the office, closing the door behind him.
Ben pulled Sasha onto his lap and held her tightly as hot tears spilled from his eyes. He hadn’t cried in years and it was a painful experience for him to do so now, but he was powerless to stop it. Sasha kissed his cheeks and tried to soothe him as best she could. She had no way of knowing the profound way in which she helped Ben.
She made Ben look at her again and said, “You shouldn’t be here today, Ben.”
Ben cleared his throat and said, “But I have patients.”
“Are you doing them any good sitting here in misery in your office?” Sasha said. “Isn’t it better to let someone else see to them for today?”
Drawing in a harsh breath, Ben said, “I think you’re right.”
“Come with me today, Ben. I think there’s somewhere we need to go,” Sasha said.
“Where?” Ben said as he wiped his cheeks. He looked in wonder at the moisture on his fingers. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried.
“You’ll see,” Sasha said with a smile. She got off Ben’s lap and took his hand and tugged.
Ben went with her willingly.
Ben sat with Sasha in Brown Otter’s tipi. His sister, Wandering One, slept a few feet away from them. Brown Otter and Ben conversed in sign language and Ben translated for Sasha. She’d felt that a visit to see the boy would cheer up Ben a little. Ben began to teach her the sign language of the Lakota.
Sasha discovered that there were many nuances to signing and one had to pay attention to them or risk offending someone. Ben laughed when she made mistakes and he would actually take her hands and manipulate them to show her the correct way to sign. Sasha enjoyed the contact with him and she watched his hands with fascination.
She felt the strength in them, but he was also gentle. His long fingers moved fluidly over hers and she could imagine them performing surgery. Dawson was fortunate to have a talented surgeon like Ben.
For his part, Ben was having a good time instructing her. Her hands were pretty and graceful and Ben couldn’t help remembering the way she’d touched him last night. The contact had been much too brief for him and he wanted more, but touching and holding her hands would do for the moment.
Ben was a patient teacher and praised her when she was able to put a complete sentence together. Sasha was enjoying the whole experience. At some point, sage had been burned and the fragrance filled the tipi along with the scents of meat and deer hide. Sasha found them pleasant and looked around the tipi with interest.
Various parfleches and containers made from woven reeds sat around the edges of it in an organized fashion. Sleeping pallets occupied a good portion of the large structure, along with the fire pit. There were various small bags that hung from support poles and Sasha wondered what they contained.
Ben watched her gaz
e move from one object to another and was glad to see that she wasn’t fearful. His work involved Lakota patients quite a bit and it was important that she be comfortable with them. Sasha was attempting to learn a new word when Ben closed his hands around hers and gave them a squeeze.
“Thank you for helping me today,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I always fall into a strange depression for a couple of days after I lose a patient, but it’s so much worse because Wendell was a good friend of mine. I couldn’t save him and I feel as if I let him down.”
He marveled that he was close to tears. Ben knew that somehow Sasha released his emotions and that for whatever reason she was able to reach him when others could not.
“Ben, you did everything you could. You didn’t fail your friend at all,” Sasha said as she squeezed his hands back. “There was nothing anyone could do. You have nothing to feel guilty about.”
Her words eased a little of the hurt he felt inside. He let her hands go and cupped her face. When his lips met hers, the kiss was a soft expression of gratitude. There in that tipi, while they kissed, Ben felt something burst through the barriers in his heart and he fell in love with Sasha. It was a joyous feeling and Ben had a sudden sense of peace settle over him.
Their kiss ended and Ben looked intently into her eyes. He almost told Sasha his feelings for her, but thought better of it. He would wait for a more appropriate time. Sasha stared back into his eyes and thought that Ben was trying to convey something to her, but couldn’t quite grasp it. Then Brown Otter’s mother, Pond Lily, came into the tipi and the moment was gone.
When they reached the town Ben thought about going back to the clinic, but decided against it since it was almost evening.
Sasha said, “Would you like to come to look at my new house with me? I’d like to get an idea of where I’m going to place my furniture when it comes. Hannah and Owl are moving to their new home this coming weekend, and my things should arrive sometime next week.
Ben nodded. He didn’t want to go home and sit alone with his thoughts. Spending more time with Sasha was far more appealing to him. It really didn’t matter to him what they did as long as he was with her.
He smiled and said, “As you wish, milady.”
Sasha giggled. “That sounds funny with your Georgia accent.”
Ben pretended to be put out with her. “Madam, are you making fun of me?”
Sasha shook her head. “Oh, no, Dr. Walker, just the opposite. Your accent is quite appealing and pleasing to the ear.”
He rode over very close to her and Sasha’s heartbeat skittered at the sudden intense look in his eyes. “Ms. McCall, may I say something scandalous to you?” he asked.
She gave him a coy look. “How scandalous?”
Ben considered his answer for a moment then said, “Would you like a simply inappropriate statement or highly scandalous one?”
“I’ll be brave and say the highly scandalous one,” she said.
Ben asked, “Are you sure? Make no mistake; what I have to say is not for the faint of heart.”
“My answer is the same, sir,” Sasha said.
Ben’s smile was full of the devil as he rode even closer to her and leaned over so he could speak directly into her ear to prevent being overheard.
“You are a beautiful, intelligent, desirable woman and when you’re ready, and only then, I would like nothing more than to make love to you.”
Sasha gasped as he straightened and moved his horse away slightly. She stared openmouthed at him. No one had ever said such a thing to her before. As Ben stole an amused look at her, she thought, I should be offended. I should have slapped him. I should be indignant and yet I am not any of those things and I have no desire to hurt him. I have other desires for him, however.
She recalled the previous evening in Ben’s apartment when they’d shared a passionate embrace. It became clear to her that had she not stopped it, they would have never made it downstairs. They would have wound up in bed.
Sasha gazed at Ben and examined her feelings about the subject. She’d been raised to not be physically intimate outside of the sanctity of marriage. In her mind, she laughed sarcastically. She and Ken had waited until their wedding night to be with each other in that manner and while it had been pleasant, Sasha had felt that something was missing. Their lovemaking had been lackluster and it wasn’t long before it stopped altogether.
So where had waiting gotten her? Didn’t she deserve to know what true passion felt like? To feel wanted? Ken had never said anything as remotely provocative to her as Ben’s statement. His deep, smooth voice with his soft, southern accent had caused her skin to break out in gooseflesh and her heart was jumping around inside her chest as if it couldn’t find the correct rhythm again.
Ben’s eyes met hers and she had no idea what to say to him. Absolutely nothing entered her mind except for images that were not acceptable to articulate out loud.
Ben smiled at her as he saw her blank stare. “I warned you, didn’t I?”
Was he serious or is he just playing a game with me? Sasha cleared her throat and said, “Yes, you did. I can’t fault you about that. Are you toying with me merely to distract yourself from your grief?”
Ben’s face became serious in an instant. “Toying with you?” He rode closer to her again and said, “Sasha, I meant each and every syllable I just spoke to you. It has nothing to do with my grief, I assure you of that.” The desire in his eyes was breathtaking to see as he continued. “If we were not on this errand, I would take you home and show you just how much I mean it. Then you would never again doubt my attraction to you.”
She was saved from responding by their arrival at Hannah and Owl’s house.
Hannah opened the door, greeted them, and motioned them inside. The place was in the type of disarray that comes with packing and moving.
“Please don’t mind the appearance of the house,” Hannah said. “I’m not sure what I was thinking of when I told you to come tonight, Sasha.”
“I could come back Sunday if that would be better,” Sasha said. “I don’t want to put you to any trouble.”
“No, no. It’s no trouble at all. It’s always good to see you,” Hannah assured her. She gave Ben a smile and said, “But you? Don’t I see you enough at work?”
Ben laughed. “Too much, probably. I imagine you’re glad to get out of there at night just so you don’t have to look at me anymore.”
“Yes, I am, but not because of you,” she said as eleven-month-old Bobby came walking into the parlor on legs that were a little unsteady. “They would be the reason why that is.”
Owl followed him closely enough that he could catch him should he fall, but yet far enough away to let Bobby feel a little independent. Bobby let out a pint-sized version of a war trill and they all laughed. Owl picked up his son and held him upside down. The baby squealed with delight and let another trill out. Carefully Owl turned Bobby right side up again and Bobby promptly bopped Owl on the nose with a small fist.
His father took his little hand in his and spoke to the child in Lakota as he smiled at Bobby. Sasha had seen this type of parenting when she’d stayed with the Samuels family. Marcus practiced it with Aiyana and Anthony on a regular basis and though it seemed odd to Sasha, it produced results.
Aiyana could be very headstrong and Marcus responded by teasing her into good behavior or when that failed, he simply ignored her. When that happened, Aiyana usually came to her father and apologized to him and carried out whatever task was required or stopped trying to convince Marcus to let her do what she wanted.
There was only one time when Marcus had gotten truly angry with his daughter and that was the day she and Anthony had been arguing and she had roughly pushed him down, skinning his knees. Marcus had taken hold of her arm and brought her into Tessa’s kitchen and said, “Please watch after my daughter, who cannot act as a girl her age should. I find that I am too angry to speak with her at the moment.”
Without another look at Aiyana, M
arcus had left the kitchen with angry strides. There had been nothing gentle about the shaming that day.
Owl greeted Sasha and Ben and said, “Are you ready to move into your new home?” to Sasha.
“Yes. I’ll take good care of it,” Sasha said.
Hannah said, “We’ve been very happy here,”
Owl nodded and said, “We have.”
Ben grinned. “This from the man who used to be afraid of houses.”
Owl scowled at Ben as Sasha asked, “You used to be afraid of houses? Why?”
With a direct, irritated stare at Ben, Owl said, “Because I was always afraid that they would fall on me.”
Sasha controlled the mirth that threatened to bubble forth and said, “Well, that sounds reasonable.”
Hannah tried not to laugh, but when Owl’s mouth began to curve in a smile, she couldn’t control it. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
“It’s okay. I know how it sounds. I actually look back and laugh at myself about it sometimes,” Owl said. “But when you’ve spent your entire life living in a tipi, houses are ominous to you.”
Ben nodded. “It was the same for me when Marcus took me to your village for the first time. I had never been around Indians at all and it was a completely foreign concept for me. At first, tipis didn’t look very sturdy to me and I worried about the same sort of thing happening. Now, of course, I know how foolish that was of me.”
Owl nodded. “Yes. Our two cultures have learned much from one another.”
Ben said, “Yes, we have.”
“I was very sorry to hear about Wendell,” Owl said. “He was a good man and will be missed by many people.”
Ben’s face tightened and he said, “Yes, he will.”
Owl took in Ben’s suddenly stiff posture and the hardness of his jaw and decided to change the subject. “I think the ladies have business that doesn’t really involve us. Why don’t we go outside and get out of their way?”
Sasha sent Owl a grateful look and said, “Yes. We women know what we’re about and you’ll just be underfoot. Out with you!”