The sexiest nerd in the world, though.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
SEV FINALLY WENT to sleep and Naomi put the tray outside the door and then, when that didn’t wake him, she took out her present and quietly opened it.
His book?
Why?
It was old and tattered and the one that he always read on take-off.
She’d made a joke once about what a slow reader he was. That had been in Mali and that had been when he’d put down the book and, er, suggested that she might need a little lie-down under him.
‘Or on top.’ Sev had grinned. ‘I’m generous like that.’
It had been the most direct offer of sex she had ever had.
Hell, she’d been tempted but had told him off and Sev had got back to his book.
She opened it and frowned. It was all in Russian but as she turned the pages she saw some pictures, just black-and-white ones but it took just a few moments of looking to realise it was a book of fairy tales.
He’d read them to his friends, he had told her that.
She saw a photo of a wolf that had a woman draped over it and she looked at this beautiful, complex man, who was glib and dismissive and yet sat reading old fairy tales on take-off.
A man who said he didn’t want relationships yet had spent five years standing outside a palace in the hope of finding a friend.
And she saw it then. Pain. Not the pain of his head injury, she was sure, just the agony of so many losses that were etched on his face.
And she understood a little more how hard today must have been. No, there could be no effusive greeting after so much hurt.
And she knew why the men had stood back from each other, how they’d had to stay distant to stay standing.
Who could blame him for ‘needing a shag’, as he’d so nicely put it today?
And who could blame her for wanting him?
Naomi put the book beside the bed, undressed and got in.
She was, Sev thought, like a pillow, but better than, and he rolled into her.
‘You’re a nice surprise,’ Sev said, and ran a hand along her body and felt her naked. ‘That’s an even nicer surprise.’
He just breathed her in.
‘Both heads hurt,’ Sev said.
She hadn’t expected a gymnastic event as they shared a kiss, a long slow one, but face-to-face sex was something she couldn’t deal with again. Not the sort where you looked at each other and your eyes made promises that by daylight you could not keep.
So she went down on him but on the way she took in those Merlot-coloured nipples and that flat stomach that had always tempted her.
And so to her favourite part and she took her time because it must be the last time.
He stroked her as lazily as if he were stroking a cat and turned her on just as easily as he always did.
There was little noise, just the sounds they made and that moan he gave that signalled the end, and he spread his fingers inside her and stretched her as he came.
It hurt, but it was amazing to come to his palm as she swallowed him down, and then he pulled her up to lie with him.
‘I’ll return the favour tomorrow,’ Sev said.
Favour?
He made her too angry to sleep at times.
A favour.
An itch.
That was all it was to him.
As Sev dozed she took down the book from the shelf and started not to read it, it was in Russian after all, but to turn the pages.
‘Remember your interview when you said you’d read in bed?’ Sev asked sleepily.
‘Ha-ha...’
‘What are you reading?’
‘My present,’ Naomi answered. ‘Sev, why would you give this to me?’
‘Because you still believe in them.’
‘And you don’t?’
‘‘The dark bits,’ Sev said. ‘I don’t know what I believe today. It’s a bad day.’
‘How can it be a bad day when you’re back in touch with your friend?’ Naomi asked.
‘Because today is Nikolai’s anniversary, or rather it is the day when we found out he was missing. Yes, I saw Daniil and one day, tomorrow maybe, we will be so glad to be in touch, but for today, I know, he misses his twin and that he wishes it could be me...’
‘No.’
‘Yes,’ Sev said, ‘because today I wished it was Nikolai that I stood and spoke with. To apologise, to go back...’
‘To what?’
‘He cried that night. I can’t remember him crying before that, not once. I can’t remember any of us crying. And when I heard him I just didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if he’d be embarrassed. I thought we could talk on kitchen duty the next morning and then I couldn’t ignore it and so I asked what was wrong and he said to leave it. I did. I left it be. The next morning he was gone. Naomi, I rolled over and I was all he had and yet I rolled over and went to sleep.’
‘Like this?’ Naomi said, and she closed her eyes.
‘Don’t joke,’ he warned.
‘Oh, I’m not joking. You just said you lay there thinking how embarrassed he might be that you could hear him, that you couldn’t remember any of you crying...so were you thinking those things when you let it be? Or did you roll over and try to work out what the hell to do?’
‘I was going to talk to him on kitchen duty. I should have handled it differently.’
‘Who knows?’ Naomi said. ‘Maybe he wanted to just cry and not have the whole dormitory wake up. Were Daniil and Roman there?’
‘No,’ Sev said. ‘Daniil had been adopted by then and Roman had been moved to another area. I told you,’ Sev said, ‘I’m crap at emotion.’
‘Not really,’ Naomi said. ‘When I was upset on the plane you were very lovely to me. You told me stuff you didn’t want to.’ She thought for a moment. ‘The night of my father’s party, when I was upset, you came to see what was wrong.’
‘And made things a whole lot worse between us.’
‘Oh, I think that might have been me.’ Naomi smiled.
They just lay there and it was Naomi who rolled over as she had never felt more tired.
‘Go to sleep.’
‘I’m supposed to check you every hour.’
‘Go to sleep,’ Sev said. ‘I’ll set the alarm.’
Yet he knew he didn’t need to. If something happened she was there, half awake, half asleep, as he had been that night.
Naomi was right.
Sev had lain awake for hours, trying to think of how to best broach things with Nikolai the next day.
And, whether he’d handled that night badly, at the very least he had learned from it.
Sev would not leave her alone and crying.
He hadn’t, in fact.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
‘WHAT TIME IS IT?’ Sev asked.
Naomi opened her eyes to the familiar question from him and glanced at the bedside clock.
‘Six,’ she said and then added, ‘A.m.’
Just in case.
But she wasn’t paid to be his speaking clock any more, and so she made herself do it.
Made herself sit up and get out of his bed.
She went and had a shower.
She didn’t want him.
Oh, she loved him, she was crazy about him, but she didn’t want him.
It was the biggest revelation of her life.
No longer did she want someone who so clearly didn’t want her. Or, if he did, then he wanted her just a bit and she wasn’t prepared for his crumbs. For sex when he felt like it, for conversation when it suited him.
It wasn’t just Sev she was saying goodbye to but a lifetime spent waiting for the cavalry to arrive for her.
It just had.
It was her.
‘What are you doing?’ Sev asked, as she got dressed.
‘I watched you last night.’ Naomi said. ‘That was what we agreed to.’
‘You did a bit more than watch me,’ Sev said. ‘Do you sleep with all
your patients, nurse?’
And she laughed.
He would always make her laugh, even with a broken heart.
‘I am going,’ Naomi said.
‘Why would you leave when things are just getting interesting?’
‘They got interesting for me a few months ago, Sev. I’m not waiting around for you to decide how much I mean to you, or if you might keep me around a while longer. I’m not tiptoeing around waiting for you to change your mind one day, or not.’
He had never been more proud of another person.
Never.
And, Sev knew, because he’d been thinking all night, that this he could now do.
November had always been his most hated month.
Her leaving would make it hell for ever.
‘Could you get something from the safe?’ Sev asked.
‘Get it yourself.’
‘I’m sick,’ Sev said, and tapped his closed eye and the mess her ex-fiancé had made of his face. ‘Do you think I’ll scar?’
She picked up her case but he had pushed her guilt switch so Naomi did stop at the safe on the way out.
‘You’re not very good at your alphabet, are you?’ he commented.
She was in no mood for his games.
‘N is the fourteenth letter,’ Sev said, just as she went to key in one, four.
And A was the first, Naomi knew as she typed in one.
‘You’re my secret code,’ Sev said. ‘You’re the key that opens the door.’
‘What are you doing, Sev?’
He had changed his code a few weeks ago...
‘In Helsinki,’ Sev answered her thoughts. ‘I’ve been crazy about you since then.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘I tried,’ Sev said. ‘I told you then I was cured of blondes.’
‘And so you took yourself off to Italy!’ Naomi snarled.
She had been so jealous of Miss Roma but, then again, maybe that was more because she had thought the earrings were for her.
And then she had to smile.
‘Mali,’ Sev reminded her. ‘I wanted you then.’
‘You have the worst chat-up lines.’
‘They usually work just fine.’
Yes, Naomi conceded, they probably worked just fine when it was only sex you wanted.
She wanted more.
‘‘What’s in the safe, Naomi?’
There was a black velvet pouch.
Real velvet, and she was nervous about opening it because she could not stand for hope to be dashed again.
She opened the pouch and into her palm fell the most exquisite piece of jewellery she had ever seen, but she quickly looked away.
‘I bought this for you in Dubai. I was going to tell you to dump that loser and then I decided against it.’
‘You regretted buying it...’
‘We are so going to work on your self-confidence,’ Sev warned. ‘No, I felt I had no right to be moving on with my life near the anniversary of my friend’s death. Neither was I sure I could make you happy. I’m very sure I can now.’
He always had.
Despite the heartbreak of loving him, Sev had always made her smile.
‘Marry me.’
‘Sev!’ He didn’t have to go that far!
‘Naomi Derzhavin.’
‘Sev, please don’t joke.’
‘I’ve never been more serious in my life,’ Sev said. ‘Come here.’
She walked over in her coat and sat on the edge of the bed.
‘I want you to be my family,’ Sev said. ‘I want us to make each other happy and we do. I want my book by our bed...’ She looked at the ring. ‘I know I need to open up and I’ll try.’
Naomi looked into the eyes of a man who didn’t need to change,
Well, maybe a bit.
But he could be as depraved as he liked just as long as it was with her.
‘It’s a very rare, natural black diamond,’ Sev said, and now she let herself look. In the intricate setting there were also white diamonds. ‘The metal is platinum with rhodium plate,’ Sev explained. ‘I chose rhodium for its rarity and strength but it’s not very malleable...’ Naomi smothered a smile—he’d be taking her through the periodic table soon.
Sev looked at the ring.
There was no doubt as to its beauty.
No doubt as to its recipient.
His doubt had been in him.
Not now.
‘Do you know why I chose black?’ Sev said.
Of course Naomi did. ‘Because it’s my favourite colour.’
‘At first,’ he said, ‘but there were a few to choose from and then I found out this stone’s name—Unseen Star. You might be an unseen star for some but never by me.’
‘You are romantic.’
‘I’ll try to be,’ Sev said. ‘But I’m a bastard too—I think we can both safely agree that this blows Andrew’s ring out of the water.’
‘It does.’ Naomi smiled.
He put it on and, honestly, it was amazing.
She had never cared for jewellery much but any woman would love this ring.
Especially when given by him.
‘It was supposed to go well with that silver dress that you had on the other night.’
And Naomi remembered Jamal insisting that it was perfect when Naomi hadn’t been sure. ‘Jamal and Allem knew?’ She frowned. ‘Even about the ring?’
‘Naomi,’ Sev said, ‘I asked Allem for advice...’
He did love her.
She knew it for sure then.
‘I listened to Allem but it wasn’t me. I needed to do this myself and I needed to get certain dates out of the way before I got to be happy.’
They shared a lovely kiss.
Sev naked, she in her coat, but not for very long as he was already slipping it off. ‘You can’t say no to me. Jamal and Allem have already got us an engagement present.’
‘Was that what was wrong with them the other night?’ Oh, she understood now! ‘I thought they were a bit off.’
‘You were supposed to arrive wearing the ring! Allem had said I should take you up on a balloon and propose. Naomi, can you really see me coming up with that?’ Sev asked. ‘Me?’
‘No!’ She couldn’t and she was actually glad of that. ‘I didn’t want to go up in a balloon either.’
‘See how suited we are.’
‘Do you want to know what our present is?’ Sev asked. ‘It’s a rug. And, by amazing coincidence, when Allem sent me a photo of it, I saw that it goes with my curtains. How lucky is that?’
She was as red in the face as when first he’d met her but she was laughing now.
‘You are tragic, Naomi.’
‘I know!’
‘One piece of housekeeping,’ Sev said, before he slipped the ring on her finger. ‘If you ever flirt with another man when you’re wearing this, the way you flirted with me—’
‘Er...Sev,’ Naomi interrupted. ‘If we look back over the last few months, I think my behaviour is the pale one and that was fake and this isn’t. And,’ she added, ‘I didn’t flirt with you.’ She’d always been holding back. ‘You haven’t seen me flirting.’
‘Yet,’ Sev said.
He couldn’t wait.
Finally November felt better.
The world felt better for both for them.
EPILOGUE
‘YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, Naomi,’ Anderson said.
She had her father’s approval.
Naomi just didn’t need it now.
For six months she had had Sev’s love and that made her stronger and the world all a touch clearer.
Together they had decided on London for the wedding. That was her home and, even if she wasn’t particularly close to her mother, Naomi had felt a New York wedding might seem a snub.
It also meant Daniil could be there as his wife, Libby, was heavily pregnant.
Sev and Daniil were in regular touch now and slowly the past was being uncovered, which was painful a
t times but something both men felt they had to do.
In the six months since their engagement, Anderson Anderson had courted Sev—taking him along to his golf club and proudly introducing his future son-in-law, and for her, Naomi knew, Sev had gone along with it.
Sev did things for her that she never could have expected. He made her happier than she had ever thought she could be and so, today she was doing something for him.
Something that was also for her.
Anderson had brought Judy and Naomi’s little sisters to London. Kennedy was her bridesmaid but the others were all there in the church. Now Naomi stood in a hotel room and she knew that her father, who had never hopped on a plane for her, was here only because of Sevastyan and the contacts that name would gather when dropped.
It was father-and-daughter time.
Kennedy was safely in the car with Naomi’s other bridesmaid, a friend who, unlike her father, had been there since schooldays.
‘We’ll have another celebration when we get home,’ Anderson said. ‘Judy’s family and our friends and colleagues—’
‘No,’ Naomi interrupted. ‘I doubt there will be another celebration. If there is then it will be a quiet affair.’ She took a breath and looked her father straight in the eye. ‘And I won’t tell you about it. I’ll forget to invite you, just as you did to me on your fiftieth birthday party.’
Anderson had the decency at least to look uncomfortable.
‘It was a surprise party,’ he attempted.
‘I don’t think so.’ Naomi shook her head. ‘And even if it was supposed to be a surprise, why wouldn’t Judy invite me? It wasn’t as if she didn’t have the opportunity—I was there that week, babysitting for you. Anyway, I thought it was your second wife who had an issue with me, or that was the excuse you gave.’
‘Let’s not do this on your wedding day,’ Anderson suggested. ‘I don’t want you upsetting yourself.’
‘I’m not upset, though,’ Naomi said. ‘I was then. I came to bring you a cake and you were having a party with the people who meant something to you.’
‘Come on, Naomi. Not today.’
‘Yes, today,’ Naomi said. She stood in her wedding dress and was far from the blushing bride. ‘You gave me away a long time ago,’ Naomi said. ‘There’s no need for you to do it again today.’
‘It will look—’
‘Yes,’ she interrupted, ‘it will look a bit odd if you go to the church now and sit with your wife and my sisters, but that’s what you’re going to do. You’re a guest at my wedding, that’s all you are to me. But I do love my sisters and so, for appearances’ sake, I’ll be polite to you, but never, ever pretend that you love or care for me...’
The Cost of the Forbidden (Irresistible Russian Tycoons) Page 14