I drop down beside her. ‘I don’t know.’
‘I don’t like the snakes in this country. Horses don’t die in Cornwall from snakes.’
‘I’m sorry.’ I can’t think of anything nice to say. Why Bobbie? Why not one of the new horses that we haven’t learned to love as much? I hug her, but my mind makes an unwelcome jump from Bobbie to Mam and the baby. What if something happens to them? I try to be strong for Elowen but I can’t help it: my body shakes as I sob too.
‘I’m not staying here with you two blubbering,’ Kitto says with tears running down his face. ‘I’m going to find Emily Carthew. She’ll know what to do.’ He runs off into the scrub.
I stand up. ‘Kitto, come back. It’s too far. Kitto!’ But he doesn’t listen.
‘You stay here with Bobbie,’ I say to Elowen.
‘You won’t be long?’
I wipe my nose. ‘Of course not. I’ll bring Kitto back for dinner.’
23
‘Kitto!’ I call and call. There’s no sign of him. I try to look for clues like Harry would. A marble out of his pocket would be helpful, but there’s nothing – not even broken branches where he could have stumbled through the bushes. I keep climbing over undergrowth, pushing through the mallee trees. The scrub is as thick as the patch Jacob sent me into those months ago. I keep stopping to listen. It’s as if he vanished like magic. Like Dot and her kangaroo. He loves that story, and I can hear his voice when Harry read it to them: ‘See, Krenza, if I got lost in the scrub, animals would save me because I love them.’
I’m so worried I can’t think clearly. I don’t even think of going back for Da; I just want to find Kitto. Perhaps he’s fallen or he’s stepped on a snake.
‘Kitto!’ I keep walking and calling. I should have brought a water bag but I thought he’d be close by, crying. Finding Kitto has even pushed Bobbie out of my mind. ‘Kitto!’
The sun is sinking. And that’s when I realise I’m lost. The canvas house should be north, but when I head that way the scrub doesn’t let up. Maybe if I sit still Da and Uncle Malachi will find me and we can search for Kitto together. Then a frightening thought sticks in my head: will Da know where I am? Will Elowen tell him?
My lips are as dry as Mallee sand. I stand, but the bushes double up and rush towards me. I sit down again and they stay at bay. I close my eyes against the dizziness. While I sit here with my head in my hands Kitto is running further away, and Mam is so unwell. Everything has gone wrong. I miss Wenna and Nanny and I wish Winnie would come back. And why did I snap at Valmai? Was I just jealous that she might be friends with Harry or Jacob and not with me? If I said nothing she’d still be my friend. Poor Kitto. He’d been better at obeying lately too, helping with jobs. What if I can’t find him?
A snake the size of a train slides towards me, meandering through the scrub. ‘I have Kitto.’ It snaps hundreds of teeth. ‘He’s down the well.’
That couldn’t have happened. He’s in the scrub.
‘You don’t know anything.’ The voice slithers over me. ‘You’ll never like it here, never belong. No one likes you.’
I think of Mam, Wenna, Harry, Elowen, even Jacob and I do something I’ve never done before. I stand up and shout at the snake. ‘That’s not true!’ The snake vanishes but the shadows that remain are long and dark, dancing in the breeze. I don’t have my coat on. I’ll freeze in the scrub at night.
‘Help!’ I shout. ‘Da!’ How far have I gone? Miles? I strain to listen, holding my breath, but all I hear is the howl of a dingo. It sounds too close. A bat flits over my head with a whoosh of wings and I duck. Nanny always called them flittermice. I wish I was little again and Mam is home and Nanny’s visiting with saffron buns. It’s too hard to run, so I sing to feel braver as I walk. Finally I’m too tired and I sit where I stop.
I must have dozed, for when I wake it’s dark. An animal is growling in front of me. I can’t see it properly. I scramble backwards against a tree trunk. The growling becomes a howl. It’s a dingo. And then it snarls. It’s edging closer. Granda would say pick up a stick, look like the boss. I feel behind me on the ground and find a small fallen branch. Then I stand. My legs wobble but I step forward and shout.
‘Go away!’
It retreats but I hear it circle me. I’m sure it’s getting closer again. It can’t stop growling. There’s a snapping of a stick and it rushes towards me. My hand feels fur and I poke blindly with the stick but the animal knocks me over.
Suddenly something else is there shoving the dingo away. I hear the thump as it lands on the ground – more growling and snarling. Oh, mercy, there are two of them. I scream. ‘Da!’ I don’t stand a chance. They’ll eat me just like Nanny said. I try to climb one of the trunks of the tree but there aren’t any good footholds. Then there’s a yelp and one of the dogs bounds away. One is better than two, but still not good for me. I try harder at climbing the tree, but I’m so scared I keep sliding down.
Then I hear a bark. A bark? That’s not a dingo. ‘Rouge?’ I burst into tears. She trots up to me, licks my hand and pulls at my pinny. ‘Oh, Rouge, am I glad to see you.’ I drop to the ground and cry into her fur. She pulls at me again and leads me through the scrub. It’s dark as ink. I would never have found the way. We walk a long time until I see a campfire burning. Winnie hugs me and I don’t hear what she says. I must be dreaming after all.
Water slides over me and washes my head and lips. ‘Shhh,’ it says, ‘go back to sleep.’ I pray for Kitto to be safe. ‘Don’t let the dingo get him.’
My head is swirling when I wake. It’s dawn and there truly is a campfire. I wasn’t dreaming at all. Clarrie is watching me. He smiles when I focus on his face. ‘You’re with us at last, lass.’
There’s a movement to the side of me and Rouge licks my nose. I sit up but everything feels shaky.
‘Tea’s on the boil. Give her some, Win.’
‘Winnie.’ I stare at her in wonder as she gives me a mug of tea. ‘So it was you last night.’ I take a sip: bitter and sweet. Still no milk.
Clarrie looks serious. ‘Not like you, lass, to be out in the scrub at night.’
Tears well up and I don’t care. ‘I’ve lost Kitto, my brother. He ran into the scrub when our favourite horse got bitten by a snake.’
‘He’s spent the night in the scrub?’ Clarrie glances at Winnie.
I nod. ‘I don’t know how far I am from home.’
‘At least four miles. You were all done in when Rouge led us to you.’
‘I couldn’t find Kitto.’
‘We better get cracking, then. Here.’ He picks up something from the coals with the tip of his knife and hands it out to me. ‘You’ll need something to eat first.’
‘What is it?’
He chuckles. ‘Snake.’
‘Snake?’ I drop it on my lap.
‘No time to catch a rabbit for you, lass. I suppose that’s what you eat.’
Winnie picks up the piece of snake and hands it to me. I take it as if it will poison me.
Clarrie nods at me. ‘What did you eat in Cornwall?’
‘Fish.’
‘Thought so. This is much the same. Suck it and see.’
I take a nibble. Not quite like fish, and certainly tougher. I tear off a piece with my teeth and chew.
Clarrie looks as proud as if I were his own daughter. ‘Did you catch it?’ I say to him.
‘Nah. Winnie killed it.’ I look at her in surprise. ‘Yep, she knows all the old ways. Her gran teaches her.’
‘My gran’s sick again,’ Winnie says, ‘so we came back.’
She picks up a pup. ‘Here’s Pockets. We sold the others in Swan Reach.’
‘I’m glad you’re back,’ I say. Pockets is too big for my pinny pocket now, so I hold him. He nuzzles my neck.
Clarrie unties the mare. ‘C’mon, Maggie. We’d better get a move on if we’re going to find the boy before he runs out of steam.’
I wipe my fingers on my pinny and follow Clarrie. ‘Hop up,
lass. You ride on Maggie. You’ll be all done in otherwise.’
Winnie and Rouge walk beside me, while I hope we find Kitto alive.
We walk north towards our house. I call but no one answers. ‘How do you know where to go?’
‘Every bush and tree is different. You’ll get used to the scrub,’ Clarrie says. ‘Then you’ll love it.’
‘I do,’ Winnie says.
‘But you were born here,’ I burst out. ‘It’s easy for you.’
Clarrie shakes his head and Winnie says an amazing thing. ‘You can get born here too.’
‘This country claims you so you belong to it,’ Clarrie says. ‘You accept it, then you know it. But you still need to respect it.’
‘How can I belong?’
Clarrie stops a second to look at me, then trudges on. ‘It’s like all feelings – don’t wait for them to choose you – you choose them.’
I frown at him.
‘You choose to love, you choose to be happy, you choose to belong.’
How can that be true? But Mam’s words echo in my head. ‘We can be happy whatever happens.’ Is that how she’s managed to come to this new world and work alongside of Da? I never thought it was the same with belonging. Kitto belongs – he has the same wonder and delight with this place as Harry has. Though I think Kitto would have that anywhere he went. I hope he’s all right.
We walk two miles before Winnie finds a handkerchief. She shows it to me and I see Elowen’s uneven stitching in the corner – a blue ‘K’.
‘It’s his.’ I hope it’s a good sign.
She holds it under Rouge’s nose and the dog gives a bark and runs off. Clarrie quickens his step. ‘C’mon.’
Winnie jogs ahead and I dismount as the scrub is thicker. Rouge appears through the undergrowth, sees us coming and disappears again. We follow close behind. There is a gully and a mallee fowl mound close by. Rouge is nosing the nest. I’m so disappointed I feel like crying. Rouge is just after eggs. I thought she’d found Kitto. I can’t help a sob escaping.
‘She’ll be right.’ Winnie creeps up to the huge nest. Rouge is sitting with her tongue lolling as if she’s done a good job. Winnie beckons to me. I glance at Clarrie and he nods. I creep up to the nest too. I don’t want to upset the male bird. I look over the edge and gape in shock. No bird, but a boy curled up inside. I put in a hand and feel his neck. He’s warm. Clarrie’s looking over my shoulder unscrewing a water bag.
‘He’s a clever boy. That’s the safest, warmest place he could have spent the night.’
Clarrie wakes Kitto and puts the spout of the water bag to his lips.
24
Kitto is shocked to see Clarrie and Winnie, but when he sees me he runs and buries himself in my middle like he used to do to Mam. He feels the pup, and steps back. ‘This is Pockets,’ I say. ‘Winnie gave him to me. You can hold him on the way home.’
Kitto grins at Winnie. ‘He’s beaut. Krenza?’
‘Hmm?’
‘Is Bobbie better?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘What if Mam doesn’t come back?’
‘She will.’ I hope I’m telling him the truth. Does he know that Jacob and Harry’s mam didn’t come back?
Clarrie lifts Kitto on to Maggie with me and we head for home.
Harry is the first person we see.
Tears well up in his eyes when he sees us. ‘We’re all out searching,’ he says. ‘Except Elowen.’ He says to me, ‘I’m sorry, I had to tell Dad and Uncle Clemo about your friends.’
I pause, wondering if Da will be angry that I’m bringing them home. Then I say, ‘This is my friend Winnie, and Clarrie, her dad.’
‘Thank you, Clarrie, for finding them. We’ve been worried sick.’
‘The lass stumbled into our area and Rouge here did the rest,’ Clarrie says.
Harry gives a piercing call: ‘Coo-ee!’ It echoes in the scrub and Rouge barks once as if to agree. We hear two coo-ees echoing back.
‘That’s Dad and Jacob,’ Harry says. ‘We all took a piece of scrub each. It’s impossible to search for someone on your own.’
Soon Da’s here, scooping me off Maggie, and squeezing me too tight. ‘Don’t do anything like that again. I couldn’t have borne it if you were both lost forever.’ He’s crying. ‘What would I have told your mam?’ He pulls Kitto from Maggie and hugs him too. Then Kitto does an amazing thing. He apologises. ‘I’m sorry I ran off. I just ran and ran and I couldn’t stop. I kept seeing Bobbie.’
‘You’re found, that’s all that matters.’ And Da carries him on his back.
‘Come back for a cup of tea,’ Da tells Clarrie and Winnie.
‘How’s Bobbie?’ Kitto asks.
Da hesitates. ‘When we left he wasn’t any worse.’
Kitto doesn’t say any more and when we arrive home we jump off Maggie and run to the canvas shed. Kitto reaches Bobbie before me. ‘He’s standing!’
I reach up and stroke the mane from his eyes. He bends his head and snuffles my hair just as he always did. Winnie is right behind me. ‘He’s a bonza horse,’ she whispers, and I cry in relief against his flank.
Emily Carthew is there. ‘He’ll be all right now,’ she says, ‘but he mightn’t be strong enough to work in the paddock again.’
‘He can be a school horse,’ Kitto cries.
I don’t like to be rude and ask why Emily is there, but she sees me staring at her, and she laughs. ‘We heard you had trouble and I came to help. Isn’t it what Cornish folk do?’
‘Come and have lunch.’ Emily has pasties for everyone.
‘How did Emily know?’ I ask Winnie.
‘Bush telegraph.’ But she doesn’t explain.
Elowen rushes up to me and smothers my face with kisses when I pick her up. ‘Did you see any spriggans in the bush?’
‘No. The fairies stayed in Cornwall.’
‘Other spirits are here,’ Winnie says shyly. ‘The friendly ones saw you in trouble and sent Rouge.’
‘I’m glad you’re back.’ Elowen lays her head on my shoulder.
Mr and Mrs Nietschke arrive in a dray with Valmai but I can’t look her in the eye. What if she still won’t talk to me?
We sit outside under the pine trees and Emily and Mrs Nietschke won’t let me do a thing. I introduce Winnie and Valmai and they sit on both sides of me. ‘G’day,’ Winnie says to Valmai, and Valmai smiles at her. ‘Hello.’
I can’t stand it any more and I tell Valmai, ‘I’m sorry I called you bossy.’
Valmai says a surprising thing. ‘I was upset because you were right. I like to organise things.’
‘Maybe you can organise a Christmas concert at school. We could have a Christmas tree.’
‘And games. We could play catch the piglet.’
‘And singing.’ I turn to Winnie. ‘You could come too.’ But she just smiles.
‘I have good news!’ Valmai says then, her eyes shining. ‘Mama says she’ll teach us singing. Just like Oma taught her.’
‘That’s terrific.’
After the pasties Clarrie thanks us all for our hospitality. ‘We’d better see what Winnie’s gran is up to.’
‘Youse have a nice house,’ Winnie says.
‘Thank you.’ I don’t say that a nice house is made of stone, not canvas, but Da will get around to it soon. I give Clarrie and Winnie a bottle of milk and a loaf of bread. He tips his hat at the ladies. To me, he says, ‘Don’t be a stranger. At least with Pockets you’ll never get lost in the scrub again.’
When everyone is gone I think how everything changed in just a day. Kitto safe, Valmai and Winnie. And Da liked Clarrie and Winnie too. I don’t have to keep them a secret any more.
‘Krenza!’ Elowen is squealing. It’s hard to tell if she’s excited or scared.
I race to find her, and there outside the house is Ribbon Singh’s wagon. He’s giving the mail to Da. Uncle Malachi and the boys are happy until they hear Ribbon’s words.
‘I coming quickly. Mr Wurm in t
he post office saying “Hurry, Ribbon.” Poor Raja and Rani very tired now.’
There is a letter and a telegram. We all fall silent when we see Da holding the cream envelope. Even Elowen knows what a telegram is. She squeezes my hand tightly and Kitto sneaks in under my other arm. Only something momentous warrants a telegram.
‘It’s from Aunt Janna,’ Da says. He looks at it for so long I wonder if he’ll ever read it. I glance at Uncle Malachi. Then I see his lips moving. He’s praying. There’s a prickle behind my eyes. It must be Mam. Please let her be well. Jacob and Harry are pale, waiting.
Da opens the envelope and scans the message. Then he grins.
‘What is it?’ Jacob asks.
‘The baby is born early. He’s healthy.’
Uncle Malachi throws his hat in the air and the boys shout.
Then Da says, ‘Mam’s called him Lenard.’
‘Is Mam well?’ I ask. ‘When’s she coming home?’ Everyone quietens to hear Da’s answer.
‘She’s right as rain.’ Da sounds just like Uncle Malachi.
Elowen tugs at Da’s trouser legs. ‘What’s the letter say, Da?’
Da opens the flap while we sit on a log to listen. ‘It’s from Mam. She’ll stay with Aunt Janna until the baby is settled, then they’ll all come back together. We better get on with the house, bro.’
‘Mother’s coming too?’ Harry says, and I see the light on his and Jacob’s faces.
‘Good Lord.’ Da’s still reading the letter.
Uncle Malachi stands up. ‘What is it, Clemo?’
Da’s reading to himself and a fear rises up like a wave inside me. Is it Nanny?
‘Read it out ‘loud, Da!’ Kitto actually shouts.
Da carries on after a measured look at Kitto. ‘Wenna and Josiah are on their way here. Josiah wants to be a farmer. They’ll be here before Christmas.’ He grins at Uncle Malachi. ‘He can help with the harvest, such as it is.’
Kitto gives a whoop.
‘We’ll have a bush wedding.’ Elowen claps her hands.
I’m stunned. So that’s what Wenna meant by having a wedding party when she sees me next.
‘They’ll all be here for our Christmas concert at school,’ Elowen says.
Kerenza: A New Australian Page 11