Chelbie felt tears prickling her eyes again. “I can’t fix this for her and I wish I could.”
“I know, sweetie. Sometimes we can’t fix things. Sometimes, we can’t even make things right. All we can do is hold the ones we love and be there for them as they make their way through the darkness.”
From Tilly’s end, it sounded like someone was talking to her in French. Tilly spoke to them, irritation and impatience thick in her tone despite Chelbie not understanding her words.
“Sorry. I need to go. Apparently we have a diva. One of the actors needs me to go Dommey on his ass to get him out of his fucking trailer for his next scene because he’s a puss and thinks it’s too damn cold outside. Fucker.”
“Have fun.”
Tilly laughed. “I don’t think you know what that word means. Give everyone hugs for me. And take some time for yourself. Make sure you’re leaning on your guys for support for you.”
“Will do.” Once Tilly ended the call, Chelbie stared at the phone.
When does the feeling like an adult part kick in?
Right now, she felt pretty damn useless.
After a few minutes to try to pull herself back together, Chelbie headed inside to get some work done while Mal was still napping.
* * * *
Kel had wanted to cancel his planned shoot today, but Mal begged him not to. He’d left Chelbie with Mal while he went to the warehouse to prepare his equipment and get everything loaded in his truck.
While there…
He sat in the office and cried. Fortunately, Doyle and Mal weren’t home, giving him some privacy. He didn’t feel right going up to the apartment, even though they were renting from him, without asking them first.
Despite it ripping his heart into shreds, he pulled out his phone and looked at the picture of the last ultrasound they’d had, the week before.
Everything normal.
Good.
Their daughter moving around and…alive.
He couldn’t bear yet to look at the pictures his mom and the nurses had taken for them. Even though you could barely see the tip of her nose in them…he knew she wasn’t alive in them.
How do I move past this?
He didn’t even know how to try, where to begin.
I wish Tilly was here.
He let himself cry for about twenty minutes before pulling himself together and using the downstairs bathroom in the warehouse area to wash his face and clean himself up.
He didn’t want to break down in front of Mal, if he could help it. Not like that and not right now. He needed to be strong for her, even if he couldn’t be strong for himself.
More than anything, it was the utter helpless feeling washing over him, drowning him. He’d always been able to take care of Mal, to “fix” things for her, even before they were together as an official couple.
And now…
He couldn’t.
It wasn’t fair. He knew whining about that to himself was pretty damn useless, too, after what he went through losing his father. Life wasn’t fair.
Life was a fucking bitch.
You could have the perfect life and get hit by a car while crossing a street because you didn’t look in the right direction.
But why’d it have to happen now?
When life had felt perfect for the first time in forever?
He was getting ready to leave when Tilly called him. So he parked himself in a chair at the desk and answered. “Hey.”
“Hiya.” She let out what sounded like a sigh. “I just talked to Chelbie a little while ago. So how are you doing?”
He started to lie to her, to tell her he was holding up all right, then it all came spilling out of him.
And once again, he was a snotty mess of tears.
“Like I just told Chelbie, I wish I could be there for you guys. I’m sorry I can’t be.”
“I know.”
“I’m there with you in spirit, though. I’ll always be there with you guys in spirit. I know you’re hurting, but I know both you and Mal are tough enough to make it through the pain. It won’t always hurt this bad.”
“I know.”
“And if some asshole tries to use the ‘it’s God’s will’ bullshit line on you? Tell them I gave you permission to punch them for me by proxy.”
Finally, he felt he could laugh. “Thanks.”
“Lean on everyone. If you need Lan or Cris, call them to come over. Okay?”
“Thank you.”
“Well, I love you guys. So do a lot of other people. Let them in as soon as you feel you can do it without being overwhelmed. They want to be there for you. But don’t neglect self-care. Either of you. Take care of yourselves first.”
Once he got off the phone with her, he returned to the bathroom to wash his face again.
Staring at himself in the mirror, he tried to remember the dark days of grief in the aftermath of his father’s death. His mom’s hollow, grief-stricken gaze.
How even then he’d tried to take care of her as much as she’d done her best to take care of him.
Mallory had been much younger when she’d lost her parents. Still a child. The two of them had so many plans and dreams they’d talked about already, things she wanted to do with their daughter, things her parents had been denied, things she’d been denied.
And now…
Once again, dreams cut short.
Shoving those thoughts aside, he finally headed out. He wanted to stop by home first to check on Mal before driving to his scheduled shoot.
Moving forward would suck, and suck hard. Yet…
He knew that was the only way through this hell.
To keep moving through it.
Chapter Six
Saturday morning, Cali had risen before her men. She now sat in the office with a mug of coffee and stared at the image on her screen.
She’d gone with a rainbow background for the website header. It matched the theme, but more importantly to her, it was a symbol of what had been lost.
Yesterday had been spent answering e-mails and texts and calls and talking to people, listening to them.
The kinky counselor is in.
Somehow, she’d been unofficially designated by default to be the sounding board, the comforting ear following the devastating news. People had contacted Chelbie and Kel to see if there was anything they could do or needed, but it was Cali who’d ended up unintentionally bearing the brunt of people needing to unburden themselves about what happened.
God, I wish Tilly was here.
And now she wished they weren’t the ones holding the party tonight. Because then it’d be easy at the last minute to have a headache or cramps or Ebola or something to excuse them from having to go.
Having to people.
Cali had talked to Chelbie late yesterday afternoon. A lot of people were going to bring cards to the party for Kel and Mal, and Cali had wanted to get a few more stock answers ready for questions that would invariably pop up.
And, once more, Chelbie had reiterated that the couple wanted the party to go on. That they appreciated the love, but seriously, everyone was to get their consensual kink on without them.
After closing her laptop, Cali grabbed her coffee mug and headed to the kitchen for a refill, Baxter on her heels. She hadn’t even fully dressed yet, just an oversized T-shirt and panties. She left the sliders to the lanai cracked open for Baxter to come and go as he pleased and he followed her out there as she took a seat at the table.
The bondage frame sat there, waiting.
Normally, she’d enjoy the sight of it on their lanai, knowing it meant happy festivities were soon to follow.
I really need to quit staring at my navel.
But even thinking that felt…harsh.
Cold.
Callous.
She was still sitting there, Baxter now in her lap, when Max joined her, leaning in to kiss her before sitting on her right, his own mug of coffee in hand.
“Sean still asleep?”
She shrugged. “Just waking up.”
“Don’t lie to me, sweetheart.”
“I’m…not. Just mixed feelings about tonight.”
“Me, too.”
She stared at him. “Really?”
“Yeah. I’d have to be an insensitive asshole not to feel this way. I’m a sadist, not a sociopath.” He squeezed her hand. “We’ll get through this, collectively, the way we’ve gotten through other things. Look at when Mason was in the hospital. None of us thought it was improper to continue on with life. Or when Leo was in his accident. Or when Eva had her complications with Kenny. Life…happens. I remember when Cris left Tilly. She insisted we keep things going. And…Kaden.”
She studied his profile. He stared at their backyard but she knew from the look in his eyes that his heart was reliving the past.
“What we do transcends us,” he finally said. “Now, if we just turned our backs on them, sure, that’d be heartless and immoral. We’re not doing that. We’re honoring their wishes.”
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I might not feel up to playing tonight during the party, but I do want our guests to have fun and enjoy themselves. I might have to paste a smile on, but I’ll do it. Remember, not everyone knows Mal and Kel the way we do. Some people barely know them, especially if they don’t go to Venture. Would you expect them to feel the way we do?”
“That’s true.” She picked up her mug with her other hand and took a sip. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
* * * *
Max knew this was far from the best time to bring up the topic, so he stayed away from it.
But before too much longer, in the next couple of weeks, he needed to sit Sean and Cali down and tell them he’d decided he’d prefer they didn’t have kids. While he and Sean had obliquely agreed about that during the drive to work yesterday, they hadn’t specifically clarified it.
Hopefully it wouldn’t break Cali’s heart in the process.
Before now, they’d always said that was something they’d leave up to her.
He loved their life together. He loved being able to throw parties like this—usually. He loved not having to hide who they were, or their kinky toys.
He loved the life they’d built together, the three of them. What had been good before Cali had turned into perfection he’d never dreamed possible.
The last thing he wanted to do was change it.
They both looked when a yawning Sean shuffled out the door, coffee in hand. “Why are we up so early?” He slumped into the chair on Cali’s left.
“It’s not early,” she said. “It’s nearly ten.”
“And we have work to do,” Max added. “Not just getting ready, but we have to put in some time in the workshop today to replenish stock.”
“Oh.” Sean sipped his coffee. “I guess I’m not getting morning shower sex out of either of you buzzkills this morning, am I?”
Damn, he loved that man. Sean’s sleepy smile warmed Max’s heart. Sean always seemed to have an instinctive knack for dropping the right line at the right time to make them both smile and lighten a dark mood.
“How about afternoon shower sex?” Max countered. “If you can keep up with me in the workshop.”
Sean sighed. “I’m not getting laid today, am I?”
Cali giggled. “You sound like you need to take some vacation time off from the vanilla job.”
“If I do, Mr. Slavedriver here will just have a list of shit for me to do.” He flashed Max a wide, fake smile.
“Or I will,” Cali added.
“Hey, at least it’s not like what Everett does,” Max lightly countered. “I could have you slaving over a hot forge for hours every day making shit.”
Sean slowly nodded. “True. There is that.” He studied his coffee cup. “Two Crafty Bastard Toys is like being quadroamorous or something.”
“That’s not a real word,” Cali said.
“It is to me.” Sean took another sip of coffee. “I mean, I’m not complaining. I just wished we weren’t in that bad kind of sweet spot where we aren’t making enough money from it to quit and do it full time, yet it takes up all our spare time.”
Another reason, Max knew, to not have kids. Their free time, what little they now had, would absolutely go out the window. The website made enough to pay Cali a salary, with the extra going into paying down the mortgage on their house. At the rate they were going, they could have the house paid off in less than ten years, well ahead of schedule. And that would give them even more breathing room.
“Well, you guys will have to start teaching me more about the production end of things,” she said. “So I can help take up the slack.” She finished the last of her coffee and stood to get a refill. “Because the new header is up, and I’ve already had some orders come in this morning.”
She headed inside, leaving the men sitting there.
“Shit,” Sean muttered. “I’m never getting laid again, am I?”
Max chuckled. “Don’t worry. We’ll bust your nut somehow.”
* * * *
Sean knew his role in their triad. He was more the trickster, the funny guy. The one to lighten the mood.
And he didn’t mind that at all, especially when he sensed things weighing heavily not only on Max’s mind, but on Cali’s, as well.
“How do you think the party will go tonight?” he asked Max.
“I don’t know. Hopefully once people get here and get settled in they’ll start having fun.” He smiled. “I can always tie you up like a piñata. Let people take a whack at you.”
Sean sighed. “Fine. I can take one for the team if I have to. Nobody can accuse me of not being a good host.”
That finally drew a laugh out of Max.
They returned to the house, but Cali wasn’t in the kitchen. Max continued on to their bedroom while Sean found Cali in the office, on her laptop, Baxter perched nearby and trying to “help.”
“You all right, babe?” Sean asked.
“Yeah. I think tomorrow I’ll want to chill out, though. And I don’t think I’m going to feel much like playing tonight.”
Sean set his coffee on the desk and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “Hey, it’s okay,” he softly said, rubbing his chin over the top of her head. “Let’s just have fun socializing with everyone tonight. No expectations.”
She rested her hands on his arms. “Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. It’s fine.” He stared at her screen. “So what do we need to focus on making first?”
“Those rectangular acrylic paddles. We go through them the most. I’m thinking about raising the price of them by a couple of dollars and see what happens.”
“Go for it. If sales slow down, we drop the price again. No harm, no foul. We can make six of them in an hour, and they cost us three dollars each in terms of raw materials. The oval ones take a little longer.”
She reached forward, logged into the site’s backend interface, and changed the price, adjusting it up by five dollars.
“Have I told you lately how much I appreciate everything you do around here? Not just running the business, but I mean for us. Taking care of us.”
She turned her chair around, slipping her arms around his waist as she pressed her face against his bare stomach. “You’re welcome. Thank you for making me feel appreciated. Both of you.”
He kissed the top of her head. “We love you, babe. You brought something into our lives we didn’t even know was missing.”
Before he knew it, she’d lowered the waistband of his shorts and had sucked his cock between her lips.
Like hell he’d fight her. He threaded his fingers through her hair and held on, slowly rocking his hips in time with her deliciously hot mouth.
“Oh, fuck, baby. Yeah.”
She slid her hands around to his ass, digging her fingers in, holding on tightly as she blew him, adding delicious, sweet pain to
the pleasure she was giving him.
“Good grief,” Max said from behind him. “You talked her into it, huh?”
“No,” Sean gasped. “She did this all on her own.”
Cali let go with one hand and gave Max a thumbs-up before grabbing Sean’s ass again.
He wanted to hold on, but it felt too good. She was too good, knowing exactly how and where to lick and suck his cock, flicking her tongue along the slit, stroking the glans. It didn’t take him long before his balls drew up tight and he was shooting his load down her throat.
As he recovered, he stood there, holding her, her face pressed against his skin, stroking her hair.
Then he stared down at her, grinned, and dropped to his knees. She let out a squeak of protest as he grabbed her panties and yanked them down her legs. Then he shoved her thighs apart, pulled her forward in her seat, and started reciprocating.
Glad this is a leather chair.
He let out a startled yelp when he felt something touch his balls, and started to look back when Max grabbed him by the hair and shoved his face into her pussy again.
“Oh, no, you don’t. You keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t mind me.”
Now satisfied it wasn’t Baxter trying to take a swipe at his family jewels, Sean went back to work. With his arms hooked around Cali’s thighs and her hands buried in his hair, he flicked at her clit, laving his tongue up and town her labia, loving every moan she made and how she wiggled, tipping her hips to give him better access. Even slinging her legs over his shoulders.
Max worked Sean’s shorts lower and then Sean felt cool lube and a finger probing his ass, making him moan.
That made Cali moan in return.
It didn’t take Max long to start working his condom-clad cock into Sean’s ass, reviving interest in Sean’s cock.
“Yeah,” Cali gasped. “That’s so hot, watching you two.”
Sean closed his eyes and ate her out with gusto. No similes needed, because he set every ounce of energy he had toward making her feel good. Showing her how he felt about her.
Happy Spank Patrick's Day [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) Page 4