I saw tears streaming down her face, and felt my eyes moisten in response as I threw myself into her arms. She held me tight, kissing my hair, murmuring to me in a language I couldn’t understand. It sounded the same as the words Gabriel sometimes used, the heavy cadence of Old Gaelic.
‘I can’t understand you!’ I said, pulling away from her embrace.
‘Yes, you can,’ she replied, nodding at me reassuringly. ‘Just try. Relax and listen. This is your language as well, Lily.’
As she said it, I realised she was right. I could understand her. And I could speak to her – to the woman who had given me the only years of love and comfort I could remember.
She looked just the same, hair long and blonde around her shoulders, her body smooth and plump. She looked beautiful, and happy, and like every good thing in the world. Everything I’d lost. Everything that had been taken away from me when I was thrust into the world of Coleen and the withered rock she kept where her heart should be.
‘How’s it going, Fairy Princess?’ said my father, squatting down beside us. He reached out and held my hand, and I wanted him to pick me up, and spin me around like he used to.
‘Am I dead?’ I asked. ‘Am I dead and in heaven?’
‘No, Lily,’ said my mother, smiling like she used to when I’d done something especially silly, like ask if zebras were horses with stripes painted on them.
‘You’re not dead. You’re here with us. In Tir na nOg. The Otherworld. You already know that.’
I looked around at the green hills and the flowers, feeling the soothing flow of sunlight on my head, and wondered how Gabriel could ever tear himself away from this place. And I understood why Kevin and Finn had looked so desolate to be left behind.
‘Can I stay?’ I asked, clinging on to the hope that I could. Even though, deep down, I knew that wasn’t to be. That whatever fate had landed me in the role of Mabe, Mother of the Mortals, wasn’t going to let me off that easily. Even the thought of leaving brought on a fresh batch of tears, which she wiped gently away.
‘No,’ she said. ‘You know you can’t. You have work to do, Lily. Important work. We just wanted to see you again. To answer some of your questions. To tell you how much we love you.’
‘I love you too. When I found out about all this, I wasn’t even sure if … if I was your child!’ I blurted out.
‘Of course you are,’ she replied. ‘Our child, and more than that. You know who you are. Cormac Mor wasn’t lying to you, Lily. About your role in the world, about what needs to be done if the mortal realm is to be saved. The time is getting nearer, and it will all be up to you. To make your choice. To keep everyone there safe.’
‘But why?’ I said, knowing I sounded like a whining child. Two minutes in my parents’ company and I’d already regressed. ‘Why do I need to save it? That woman, Eithne – she said I didn’t have to. That she and her kind just want to make things better for humans, make them happier … Could they make them like this? Make Earth like this?’
‘That’s one way of looking at it, sugar,’ said my father. ‘But not the only way. The Fintna Faidh have their views. They believe the mortals are unnecessary now, an inconvenience. That the Otherworld should have dominion. That would mean the end – the end of people. The end of their loves, their hopes. The end of the balance between worlds. The end of everything. Is that what you really want?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said, thinking of Coleen. Of my childhood. Of the other bullies who’d made it a misery. Of the death and cruelty I saw every time I opened a paper or switched on the TV. Was it all really worth saving? Was I really the right person to choose? Shouldn’t it be someone more … happy? Someone with more to lose?
‘But think of the other things, Lily,’ said my mother, without me having uttered a word. ‘I know you don’t have too many good memories to hold on to, but think of us, and the way we were. The love we shared. That’s the way the mortal world can be – the way it is for most of them. And for every act of hatred, there is one of love. More than one. Think of Carmel and how she’s never understood you but has always accepted you; the way that even now she’s willing to put her life at risk for you. Humans do that. They are willing to sacrifice themselves in a way that the Fintna Faidh aren’t. Isn’t that worth saving?’
‘Yes. No. Maybe,’ I said, decisively. ‘When do I have to decide?’
‘Soon. The night of the Feast of Samhain. That’s when you need to make your choice. Do you trust him yet? Do you trust Cormac Mor? Gabriel?’ she asked. ‘Do you trust him enough to be his mate?’
I felt a momentary tug of amusement. This was too strange. My long-dead mother was asking me if I planned to have sex with a man I barely knew. It was a bit too late for the birds and the bees talk, but the question was a good one. Did I trust him?
‘I don’t know,’ I replied. ‘I need more time …’
‘You don’t have time, Lily. Whatever decision you make, it will be made soon. I know this has all been a terrible shock for you. If things had been different, we would have prepared you for it. But your sisters were taken, and we had to keep you safe. Even then, the Faidh knew what power you would have. They’re here, by the way. Your sisters. Here with us. And Lucy, the girl who was in the car with us. Well, she wasn’t a girl really; she just had the shape of one because that’s what we needed to keep you safe. She was a friend, and she gave her mortal life to save yours.’
‘Can I meet them?’ I asked, looking around hopefully. I only saw one other figure, standing tall and still at the crest of the hill, casting a long shadow under the golden blaze of sunshine. Whoever it was didn’t seem to want to join us.
‘Not this time, no,’ said my mother, following my line of vision to the solitary figure on the hill, in plain sight but somehow hiding. She frowned slightly, and I strained my eyes trying to make out who it was. ‘In fact, it’s probably time for you to go,’ she said firmly. ‘You can’t stay here for long. I know it only feels like minutes to us, but you’ve been gone from the human world for hours, perhaps days already. He’ll be worried about you.’
Too right he would, I thought, not needing to ask who she was talking about. He’d have his High Kingly knickers in a right royal twist when he found out what I’d done, if he got back before me. I’d get a proper telling-off this time, maybe even get sent to bed without my supper.
I put that thought to the back of my mind. I’d deal with him later.
Sisters, I thought. And Lucy. The girl who died in my place. My parents. All of them here, in this magical place I had to leave. To return to what? An angry, arrogant king in a cold city? A nan who’d choose a pack of Silk Cut over me? To the canteen ladies who thought I was a stuck-up cow? To long, empty years, free of human touch or comfort? It didn’t sound that tempting.
My father stood up, held out his hands and pulled me to my feet. Despite my adult height, he whirled me around so hard my feet left the ground, and I landed against him, dizzy and laughing and crying all at the same time.
‘Time to go, Fairy Princess,’ he said. ‘And you’ll make the right choice. I know you will.’
‘OK. I’ll go. But I’ll miss you so much it hurts,’ I said. ‘I always have.’
‘We know that, Lily. Take care – and remember who to trust.’
Chapter Twelve
I woke up in a bath. A nice bath, with hot soapy water up to my neck, and fragrant candles burning all around me. Cinnamon. Mmm.
Maybe, I thought, sinking a bit lower into the foam, it had all been a dream. Like Bobby in the shower in Dallas. Maybe I was at home, in my flat. In a new bath that I must have forgotten getting installed.
‘Sorry, but no,’ said Gabriel, smirking at me from a chair by my side. ‘Still here.’
I yelped, splashed around a bit, then realised that all the movement was in fact revealing more of my body, which had been perfectly well covered by bubbles anyway.
‘How did I get here? How did I get … naked?’ I asked, feeling a rush of pr
iggish modesty that I found almost embarrassing. I’ve never been undressed by a man before, and it would have been nice to be conscious the first time it happened.
‘Isabella,’ he replied. ‘What kind of a man do you think I am?’
‘The kind who’s probably pretty angry with me right now,’ I replied, deciding to jump straight into the fight. I’d come to no harm in the Otherworld, other than enduring a big dose of mind-boggle, but he didn’t know that. Hadn’t known that, while I’d been gone. And whatever his motives, I knew he took the whole save-the-pop-writer-save-the-world routine very seriously.
‘I was angry,’ he said. ‘Furious. Livid, in fact. I got back a day ago, and you were still gone. Finn was almost ready to fall on his own sword he was so distraught at losing you. Carmel’s been in a frenzy. And I … broke a few things.’
‘A day ago?’ I asked. Wow. They’d been right when they said mortal time moved faster. ‘And you all stayed on that hill waiting for me to come back?’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘In shifts. I was in and out – there, the Otherworld, back at the apartment – in case you were somehow here. And when you reappeared, you were unconscious. At first we feared you were dead, so I broke a few more things. But then you smiled. Still out cold, but smiling. Like I’ve never seen you smile before, despite my best efforts. You looked so happy. So I knew – I knew where you’d been and who you’d been with. Your parents.’
I sighed, sank further down into the bubbles. Tears sprang from my eyes and I didn’t have the will to stop them. Gabriel sucked in a sharp breath, and I knew he’d be fighting not to reach out and comfort me.
‘Don’t,’ I said simply. ‘Not now. I’m a mess. I was only with them for a few minutes … it was too short. Tell me about them, Gabriel.’
‘They were brave, Lily. They died to save you. There have always been mortals who know our secrets, share our goals. And after your sisters were taken, they decided to sacrifice themselves to try to keep you safe. They are people of great honour, and great love. Everything they did was for you, even down to faking your death. I can tell you more, when you’re ready to hear it … maybe when you have clothes on … and I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to leave them so soon.’
I wondered if he meant when I’d had to leave them this time, or the one before – the time when I’d left them for the not-so-loving arms of Coleen. The time when he’d made the decision to abandon me to her, and her twisted version of parenting. And I wondered if he’d tell me the truth about that, if I asked him directly. Whether he’d tell me about Lucy, the girl who died, and her role in all of this. She’d only been six – in body at least. How had that happened?
‘I can tell you,’ said a voice in my head, deep and soft, like words wrapped in velvet. I snapped my chin up and stared at Gabriel.
‘Was that you?’ I asked, not at all happy with the idea of him speaking directly into my brain.
‘Was what me?’ he asked, frowning. ‘What did you hear?’
‘Ah … nothing,’ I replied, deciding to keep it to myself. I’d probably imagined it anyway. I’d been to the Otherworld. Maybe I was suffering from some kind of cosmic concussion. Maybe I could now add hearing-voices-in-head to the visions and hallucinations. Party on, dudes.
‘Did anything else happen while you were there?’ he asked, leaning forward and searching my face. ‘Did anybody bother you? Did you meet anyone else?’
‘No,’ I replied quickly, meeting his probing eyes and praying that my secret didn’t show. ‘Just them. That was quite enough.’
Technically speaking, I hadn’t met the man who stayed on top of the hill, so I kept that one quiet for the time being. I wasn’t actually lying, simply being economical with the truth. Not that I was going to suffer any moral hangover about it even if I did lie. Gabriel’s overbearing concern for my safety was starting to chafe, and I needed to learn to think for myself, and look after myself.
I wouldn’t be much good at saving the world if I had to run to the big boy for help every time I grazed my knee. Especially when I wasn’t at all sure I trusted the big boy in question. Eithne had shown me there was an alternative version of this reality, and as soon as I got some quality alone time, I’d be asking the voice in my head to tell me more. As the madman said to the doctor.
‘OK,’ I said, changing the subject. ‘What do you think we should do next? My parents told me the time for me to make my choice is coming soon.’
‘Choice?’ he said, suddenly sounding angry. Clearly not a word that hit his happy spot. ‘What choice? There is no choice, Lily. At least not one that results in anything but death for the world you grew up in. You are Mabe, whether you want to be or not, and I am your mate, no matter how hideous you find the thought.’
Oops. Angry time was back.
I bit back my own anger, knowing it wouldn’t achieve anything. Beside, I didn’t find the thought of being his mate hideous. In certain lights I found it pretty appealing, in fact. Spending quality naked time with Gabriel was the kind of thing normal girls would lie awake at night dreaming about. But I wasn’t a normal girl, and I was starting to find his one-sided view of my future about as attractive as genital warts.
It wasn’t just Eithne who’d told me I had a choice to make: my mother and father had too. And their opinion meant a lot more to me than hers, or the High King’s. Goddesses always had a choice, and railroading me and blanketing me in half-truths was only going to make me more determined.
‘So you say,’ I replied, ‘but please don’t completely discount the fact that I have my own mind, Gabriel. That I have other people to listen to. That I’m not just some well-behaved child sitting around waiting to be told what to do. Insisting I have no choice in the matter doesn’t make it true.
‘Now, I’m sick of reacting to all this, sick of running. Sick of not knowing what’s going on in my own life. Sick of you bossing me around. And if I stay in this bath much longer, I’ll turn into a prune. I’m getting out. And then I’ll either listen to your plan, or come up with my own.’
He snorted so hard I thought he might choke, stood up and handed me a towel. He turned round to avert his eyes, playing the gentleman.
‘I’m not stupid,’ I said, standing up straight and holding the towel in front of my breasts, ‘I know you can see me in the bloody mirror.’
I saw myself reflected. Tall, shining with moisture, my hair draped in a deep-red swathe over my shoulders. Long legs, slender body, boobs that would pass the pencil test. This was me. Naked. And you know what? I looked pretty damned good.
I dropped the towel, deliberately, feeling an uncharacteristic urge to flaunt myself. Power ran through me when I saw his reaction: a clenching of lips, a sway of hips, a distinctly mate-like twitching in his groin. It was the same power all women feel when they realise the control their bodies have over men. The power of the goddess all of us can be. I was just starting to get to grips with mine, and decided I liked it. At the very least, I knew what to do to distract him now.
‘Plan?’ I asked, brazenly stepping out of the bath, noticing that he’d now clamped his eyes shut. Wuss.
‘Dublin,’ he said, voice strained. ‘We go to my house in Dublin.’
‘And how do we get there?’ I asked, using the towel to rub my hair dry. ‘Magic portal? The wings of Pegasus?’
‘No, he said. ‘Ryanair.’
We travelled at night, for the sake of the vampires, and arrived at Gabriel’s Dublin home just before one in the morning. Carmel had been knocking back the miniatures on the flight, and was still upset at my disappearing act.
‘He smashed everything in his apartment. The flat-screen, the Xbox. All the glasses in the bar. And I texted you, like, a dozen times,’ she said. ‘I was worried sick.’
‘I’m sorry about that,’ I answered, ‘but I couldn’t get much of a signal in Fairy Land. I’ll have a word with Vodafone next time, see if I can upgrade my tariff.’
‘No need to get all sarky on me,’ she snapped, as the
car pulled up into Merrion Square. I gave her a very human shove out of the door, grabbed my backpack before following her out, and we stood looking around us.
Gabriel’s home was a magnificent Georgian town house, tucked between others like it in a red-brick terrace. The buildings were clustered around a park that would probably be very pretty in daylight. The pavements were empty, with a few sleek and expensive-looking cars parked alongside them.
‘Crikey,’ said Carmel. ‘This is pretty fucking awesome. You remember that time we came here with work?’
I nodded. I did indeed. Against my better judgement she’d persuaded me to join her for a journalists’ shindig in Dublin, which involved less of seeing the fair city than getting hammered in most of the fair city’s excellent pubs.
‘That night in McDaid’s, when I snogged the fiddle player?’ she continued, obviously reliving a happy memory. Mine? Not so happy, and mainly involving the wandering hands of our Guinness-drunk picture editor. Wandering hands are an inconvenience to most women. To me, they are a potential catastrophe. Ah, fun times.
Gabriel unlocked the door to the house, and we walked into a long hallway. Protected, as usual. Gabriel led, with Finn and Kevin at his side. Then Carmel and I took our places behind them, carrying our bags, followed by Connor and the vampires. In fact, once I started to ponder it, I realised I hadn’t been left alone for a single minute since all this started, apart from my brief excursion into the Otherworld. It did make me feel safe, but also slightly claustrophobic. I’m used to being on my own, and once all this was over – one way or another – I’d be locking myself in a darkened room for a very long time.
Carmel and I were told to wait in the corridor, as the front door closed behind us. Ahead, Gabriel and his men were carrying out some kind of security check, and outside, we could hear Luca and Morgan doing the same. After a few minutes they all returned to the hallway, and as none of them were covered in blood or carrying severed limbs, I assumed they’d met with no resistance.
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