“Why not?” Kaelyn countered, her brown eyes softening.
“I can’t let him know how much he means to me,” she confessed and then wrapped her arms around her middle, suddenly feeling cold and lonely.
“Don’t you know you sound crazy?”
She laughed, despite the tears gathering at her eyes. “Ryan makes me crazy.” She bellowed a loud groan. “Damn him and his two-week rule!”
“Awww.” Kaelyn leaned in and draped her arms around her, giving Mackenzie a much needed hug. When she finally released her, she said, “But Mack, you can change all that. Tell him you want more.”
Mackenzie met her intense stare and replied, “I’m not sure if I want more.”
“Okay, you’re confusing me,” Kaelyn said, swinging her dark ponytail from side-to-side in confusion.
She turned her head to stare out the window, but not before Kaelyn saw the tear run down her cheek. “I’m saying… love hurts and I don’t know if I can bear to take the chance. What if things don’t work out?”
“But what if things do?” she paused to reach up and brush the tear away. “C’mon, like you have told me before, there are never any guarantees. All you can do is follow your heart and decide if you can trust him not to hurt you.”
Her brow bunched. “I said that?” Mackenzie asked incredulously.
Kaelyn cackled. “Yes, crazy, you did! I was telling you how I felt about Ashton, and you told me I just had to be willing to take the risk.”
Kaelyn was right. She had always been the risk-taker, living life on the edge, so what was so different now, that had her afraid?
Kaelyn took a seat on the floor in front of her. “Listen… do you think it’s been easy with Ashton? Hell, no. That man rakes my nerves, but at the end of the day I couldn’t imagine not having him in my life, and that makes it so worth the investment,” she added and reached for her hand. “It’s taken years for the two of you to get to this point, so I think you need to really think about this, because you might not get another chance.”
Mackenzie hated to admit it, but Kaelyn was right. There was nothing worse than living with a life of regret. Her mother had been doing everything in her power to keep hating her father for having an affair, and despite how much she loved the man, she was willing to keep up the façade even at the risk of losing him. It was insane, but in a sense she was doing the same, trying to pretend she didn’t love Ryan or want a life with him, because it was easier to pretend than it was to just face the truth.
“All right,” she replied reluctantly. “I’ll tell him, but I have to find out how he feels about me first.”
“Mack—”
“I’m serious. I just have to know. If he feels the same way, then I will jump at the chance to tell him.”
Kaelyn’s brow bunched. “And if he doesn’t?”
“And if he doesn’t…” her voice caught on a tremor. “Then I’m going to tell him I made the mistake of falling in love with him and then walk away.”
There was a long silence before Kaelyn said, “I’m sure Ashton could find out how he feels. I can ask him.”
Mackenzie’s lips curled into her first genuine smile of the day. “Don’t bother. I know just the person to ask.”
ELEVEN
“This was a good idea, Lieutenant. Thanks for inviting us.”
With a nod, Ryan reached for the bottle and took another sip. It had been a relatively quiet day, and then right before their shift was about to end they had to respond to an emergency. After they’d rescued a father and son who were left hanging from a rooftop after trying to install a satellite dish, Ryan decided the guys needed a round of drinks on him. Since he knew the owners, he had no problems getting a long table reserved right near the front of the stage, where a Madonna look-a-like was singing karaoke.
The crew was laughing and having a good time. It was definitely good for morale. If only he could say the same, he thought with a scowl. He was trying to pretend nothing had changed between him and Mackenzie, that they could resume their friendship, but just the sound of her voice on the phone had ripped at his heart. Sure they had laughed and joked, but as he reserved the table, the conversation was strained and he had to fight back the urge to tell her how much he missed her. Even being at the bar tonight, seeing Mack and not being able to touch her was going to be hard. His body craved her. His arms and lips missed her, and his cock… well, let’s just say no other woman would ever come close.
His eyes traveled around the table. A tall beauty dragged Liam out onto the floor. Since they had arrived, Ryan had been asked to dance twice and one of the women even slipped him her phone number, but he just wasn’t interested in starting over again.
Hearing familiar throaty laughter, Ryan swung around and there Mackenzie was, standing near the bar. Spiky, moussed hair, delicate features, and high cheekbones. She was breathtaking. He cast an appraising look at her and the person standing beside her. She was flirting profusely with some guy in a tight, blue suit. As he watched them, the grim line across his mouth tightened. The longer he watched, the more enraged he became. Ryan brought the bottle to his lips, and took another long swallow as he glared over at the two.
“She’s really something.”
His head whipped around. Charlie was straddling the chair behind him.
“What are you talking about?” Ryan muttered.
His best friend tilted his head to the stage, and Ryan looked over to see Kaelyn reaching for the microphone.
“Yep, she is truly talented. Ashton said she’s supposed to sing back up on Rihanna’s next album. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has an album of her own in a few years.”
“Please tell me she’s single,” said one of the rookies at the table. Then there was catcalls and whistling as the others joined in on the fun.
“Nah, my boy had sense enough to snatch her up before one of you knuckleheads…” Ryan’s voice trailed off as he turned his attention back to the bar. His eyes swept the room. Mackenzie was gone.
“I’m assuming your two weeks are over,” he heard Charlie say.
Nodding, Ryan reached for the bottle and took a long swallow. “Yep. We’re back to being friends,” he replied without even turning around. Kaelyn was singing and he tried to focus on her, desperately needing something to take his mind off of what Mackenzie and the short guy were doing.
“I’ve been here about thirty minutes standing over in that corner, watching you. You’re in love with my cousin, aren’t you?”
Ryan swallowed the sudden tightness in his throat and noticed the other firefighters at the table were glancing curiously in his direction. “What makes you say that?” I’ll have to remember to strangle Charlie later.
“Because I haven’t seen you look at a woman that way since Anika.”
He was wrong. What he felt for Mackenzie surpassed what he had ever felt for his wife of two years, and that was his struggle. Her mere presence took his breath away. Mackenzie had stolen his heart.
“What would you know about love?” Ryan spat accusingly, then swung around and glared at him for putting his business out on the street.
Charlie shrugged. “Absolutely nothing. We both know there isn’t a woman around to change my mind about relationships, but you on the other hand need to go claim what’s yours before that dude in that tight jacket leaves with Mackenzie for dinner.”
“Dinner?” Ryan barked and then he exploded from the chair. “Excuse me.” Without a moment to waste, Ryan slammed down the bottle and stormed across the floor with wide, determined strides.
And he had no idea his best friend was leaned back in the chair smiling, triumphantly.
Quickly, Ryan moved down the corridor, and when he reached her office, he didn’t bother to knock.
Mackenzie’s eyes widened with surprise. “Ryan, what the …?”
“Get out!” Ryan barked, and the man must have seen he meant business because he nodded and hurried out the door.
As soon as he was gone, Macke
nzie turned and glared across her desk. “What is wrong with you?”
Ryan gazed down at her, unable to look away. “You. You’re what’s wrong with me.”
Hesitantly, she rose from her chair, and as he stared at all those curves the blood rushed straight to his groin. “What are you talking about?”
He spread out his hands in a helpless gesture. “I’m trying to tell you I was wrong.” With that, he closed the gap between them and brought his lips down hard over hers.
* * *
Mackenzie pressed a hand to her breasts. Her heart pounded so hard she was certain it would leap out of her chest. What was Ryan saying? she thought as his tongue slipped into her mouth. She was the first to pull away.
“What do you mean you were wrong??” She drew a soft, shallow breath.
Ryan gave her a sheepish smile. “I wasn’t supposed to kiss you. I was supposed to stay away.”
She swallowed and pressed a hand to his chest, trying to keep him at bay. She knew that. She reminded herself every night for the last week while she lay in bed, yearning for his touch. “So, then why did you?”
He scratched his chin. “See that’s the problem I’m having. I saw you with that guy and it made me crazy.”
Shaking her head, Mackenzie pushed hard against him and tried to keep her rage under control. “You saw me with that guy? You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either.”
“I never said I didn’t want you,” he sputtered.
“No, I guess you didn’t.” But he wasn’t interested in forever. Just the here and now.
“Babe, listen… I lied.”
Mackenzie stared up into his dark eyes, confused. “You what?”
“I lied when I said we could go back to being just friends.” Reaching out, he touched her hand. “I realized I can’t do that.”
She bit her lower lip. “You can’t?”
He shook his head. “No, and I don’t want to.”
“I agree.” As much as it hurt, it was for the best. The last week had been miserable. “I guess once you cross the line, there is no way of ever going back to the way things used to be.” Mackenzie lowered to her chair and forced a smile she wasn’t feeling, but she had to hold it together.
“You’re right, there’s no way to get it back.”
There was loud laughter and the music even seemed like it was blaring. Maybe it was because her head was spinning. Looking over at his handsome face didn’t help at all. The feeling inside her became too big to contain. Charlie had been her last hope. She thought maybe he would have been able to talk to Ryan and find out what he was thinking and feeling, but now she knew that would have been a big waste of time.
“And I guess that’s a good thing.”
“What?” She had no idea what Ryan was saying.
He rounded the desk and took a seat on the edge. “I’m saying that I want more than a two-week fling and incredible sex. Not that I haven’t enjoyed every second.”
And so had she, but she wanted more. Deserved more. “I can’t—”
“I want a lifetime.”
She fought to speak around the lump in her throat. “What did you just say?”
Ryan reached down for her hand again and brought her to her feet. “I said I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” His breath feathered her flushed cheeks.
Mackenzie gazed up into his eyes and saw everything she was feeling, brimming from his. “And I want you.”
“You do?”
Unable to speak, she nodded.
His arms looped about her waist to bring her to his chest, sending her heart fluttering madly. “I’ve been crazy about you for years and now that I’ve had a chance, I can’t imagine being with any other woman but you. Hell, I don’t want anyone else and I sure as hell don’t want another man within five yards of you.”
She laughed. “I run a bar, so you know you sound crazy, right?”
“That’s how you make me feel. Cuckoo crazy,” he murmured and pressed his forehead against hers.
“We can be crazy together,” she replied and drew in a deep, shaky breath. “I’m nervous and scared, but I can’t deny how much I love you.”
Ryan reached up and caressed her cheek. “I’ve loved you for years, but denied what I was feeling. After Anika, I refused to let myself feel that emotion again.”
“And now?”
His eyes darkened and were so serious. “Now I’m ready to love you with everything that I have. But just keep in mind, a man like me loves for life, and this is it.”
She shuddered at his words… at feeling love all around her. “I’m scared too, you know. I’ve never felt like this before.”
“Never?” he asked, running his hands along her waist possessively.
“Until now.” Mackenzie rose and threw her arms around his neck and started laughing, then quickly sobered. “I know that I don’t need to fall in love five more times to know what I feel with you is the real thing.”
“The same here. You matter to me, Mack.” His voice poured over her like sweet honey. “I think it started that day I saw you sitting on Chuck’s porch brushing that damn Barbie doll’s hair.”
“You mean the one you snatched from my hands? I had to spend the next fifteen minutes chasing you down,” she said laughing.
He gave her a teasing smile. “It was the only way I could get your attention.”
“Now you have my undivided attention,” she murmured and fresh happy tears sprung to her eyes.
Ryan kissed her gently on the lips and Mackenzie tightened her arms around him. “And I plan to enjoy every second of it.” His lips trailed down her neck and across her collarbone.
So do I.
EPILOGUE
There wasn’t a dry eye on the lawn as they watched the happy couple climb into the horse-drawn carriage that would take them twice around Main Street before delivering them at the Beaumont Hotel. In the morning, they would be leaving for a two-week honeymoon.
Rice was thrown, and cheers filled the air as Kaelyn and Ashton pulled away, waving at all of their guests until they were no longer in sight.
“How romantic?” Mackenzie said, with a heavy sigh.
“Weddings have never been my thing, but that one was actually bearable.”
Tilting her head, Mackenzie gazed up at Ryan who was standing behind her, his arms wrapped loosely around her waist. “I see you got jokes. I specifically remember you snoring during the ceremony.”
“A brotha’ worked a double,” he reminded and chuckled heartily, as he drew her tighter into the circle of his comfortable arms.
Kaelyn and Asher had a simple service at a small Baptist church, followed by a reception for only close friends and family at Steve’s Steakhouse. At first, she thought her best friend was crazy. A husband and in five months, a baby, but Mackenzie realized all that really mattered was that the two of them were together.
“C’mon, let’s get out of here.”
Ryan took one hand, Mackenzie was clutching a small bouquet in the other. She fell into step beside him. The sun was beaming down on her. Not to mention the cotton-candy pink pumps were killing her feet.
“Oh,” she groaned. “I can’t wait to take these shoes off.”
“Let me help you out.” He swept her into his arms and carried her across the well-lit parking lot to his truck.
“Put me down!” she cried.
“Hush, and let your man do his job.”
She smiled and felt a warm tingle at the pit of her stomach every time he reminded her they were a couple.
It had been three months and not once had she regretted their relationship. In fact, she was practically living at his place. They had hinted about moving in together.
Ryan lowered her onto the hood of his car, then stood between her legs with his hands next to her hips. Laughing, she brought her hands to his shoulders, then leaned forward and kissed him. With every swipe of his tongue, pleasure curled at the edge of her heart.
Ryan was the first to pull away and looked intense as he said, “Before we leave, I have something for you.”
“What?” she asked, eyes twinkling curiously.
A smirk curled on the corner of Ryan’s mouth as he reached into his pocket, then put both hands behind his back. “Which fist do you think it’s in?”
She laughed. “I don’t know.”
“Pick one,” he urged.
“Okay…, that one,” she said tapping his left arm.
His lips twitched as he swung his arm around and made a dramatic show about opening his balled fist. It was empty.
With a smirk, Mackenzie eased back and stared up at him. “Okay, then the other one.”
Around his hand came. Ryan turned his palm up and when he unclasped his fingers, she stared down and gasped at what she saw. A beautiful solitaire diamond ring. Frantically, her eyes searched his. “What is that?”
“What do you think it is?” Ryan’s expression had become serious, and Mackenzie drew in a long breath and realized this was probably the most important moment of her life. He looked her in the eyes and she struggled to catch her breath.
Ryan reached for her hand and asked with the utmost tenderness, “Will you marry me?”
She was frozen, unable to utter a word around the lump of emotion that was blocking her throat.
“Mack… did you hear me?”
“Marry you?”
He gave her a smile that practically stopped her heart. “Yes, you know that thing your parents did.”
His image blurred as her eyes filled with tears, afraid to believe what she was hearing. What she was finally hearing.
“Oh my God! Yes, I’ll marry you.”
He slipped the brilliant ring onto her finger, then lowered his head and kissed her soundly on the mouth.
“I love you, Ryan Young,” she murmured against his lips.
“And I love you, Mack.” Her heart expanded beyond what she could contain.
Ryan dragged her down off the hood of the car and into his arms, then changed the angle of his head. Flooded with joy, she wrapped her arms around his neck. With him in her life, Mackenzie had everything she’d ever need.
For Her Pleasure (The Pleasure Series Book 2) Page 11