by Lauren Wood
I noticed that he didn't guarantee that they wouldn't say anything. Because how could he? It wasn't like it was his fault. He had sort of brought me into his world, but I had agreed to be here. I could have walked away, so if I was going to stay, I was going to do what I set out to do in the beginning.
I went back to my room and found almost twenty dresses on the bed in pretty boxes. When he said he got me a few things, he wasn’t joking. They were all surprisingly in my size. I don't know if he guessed or he had one of the maids check. But I can say that it felt special and I reminded myself to thank him later. He was always thinking about me and showing me in the sweetest ways. I never knew what to Scott. He was always surprising me.
All of the dresses were beautiful, and I picked one that was iridescent white. For some reason, it just called to me and I knew that's what I wanted to wear for the night. I thought for a moment about how Scott would see me in it. The whole time I'm telling myself, to distance myself for my husband, but it felt impossible to do. I didn't want to get away from him. I wanted him to look at me the way he had before. I wanted to kiss him again. These are all things that I knew were a bad idea, but it did not change the longing that I felt for them.
Simply said, I wanted my husband to want me. I couldn't help the situation and how we had came to be husband and wife, but a part of me found it hard to believe that it wasn't meant to be. That we weren't somehow destined to be together. I at least, liked to think that.
When I came back out, he was waiting in the den, reading a book. I didn't see him relax very much. Most of the time he was working, and I have to say that I liked this side of him. He didn't have any worry on his face. His brows were not pulled in together like he was concentrating on something that was life or death. He was just being easy and relaxed and his usually serious face had the slightest hint of a grin on it.
“That must be some kind of book.”
I startled him a little bit and for some reason, I liked the idea of that. He seemed so together and then he jumped just the same.
“So, what are you reading?”
“A book of poems. I don't get to spend much time reading, but I have always enjoyed a few prose.”
The idea of keeping my distance, flooded my mind and I sat down next to him.
“Read me one.”
He looked at me a little uncertainly and I urged him on with a look and a hand gesture.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please. Read me one that you like.”
I was obviously trying to get to know him better. I wanted to know what called to him and what made him smile in such a way. I wouldn't have taken him for a man that like poetry, but after a moment he flipped the page a couple of times to one that looked more worn than the others. I had a feeling that he actually did like the book and this was one of his favorites. I hadn't even heard it yet and I already felt closer to him.
He started to read, and the moment got ahold of me and I rested my head against his shoulder. I don't know what it was about the deep timber of his voice, but it made me feel like everything was going to be okay. It almost washed away all the negative feelings that I had from Lexie and her comments. For just a moment, it was me and him and we were supposed to be here.
When he was done, I stayed where it was. The smell of him had surrounded be completely, just like the poetry had filled the room. Scott was just more. He was more than I was able to handle and when I opened my eyes, he was staring down at me. He had an expression on his face that I knew well, and I knew what he wanted. He started to lean down and kiss me, but I knew that it wasn’t a good idea.
Instead of succumbing to the touch that was guaranteed to set me on fire, I pulled away instead. I sat up and put some distance between us. The dress was getting wrinkled and I stood up a moment later, telling him that I was ready to go.
“You’re made for that dress Anna.”
I liked that he noticed. I had felt something when I’d seen it and I knew that I didn’t have to look through any of the other ones. I didn’t want to and there were still many boxes unopened on the bed. I didn’t need to see any other, once I’d saw the one, I was wearing now. It felt good and I had to agree, it felt like it was my dress.
“Thank you, Scott. Let’s go so that we’re not late. Jimmy hates that.”
I stopped when I realized that I had been so casual when talking about his dad. He stopped for a moment, gave me a strange look and then I asked him if he was ready to go, just so he would stop looking at me like that.
“Yeah I’m ready. I don’t think dad is going to be there though, Anna. You don’t have to worry about him.”
He took my reaction as I was worried, and I was just going to go with it. It was certainly better than the alternative, the truth.
I followed him out of the house and hoped that I wouldn’t have to worry too much about what was going to happen next. It was just a charity thing, no big deal. I wasn’t going to get all worked up. Jimmy wasn’t going to be there, and I asked Scott if Lexie was going to be there and he said that she wasn’t. It was all I needed to hear. I had a feeling that it would be better now.
Scott
I hadn’t planned on going to the third annual Hope for Kids bash, but it had just come to my mind. My assistant told me about it this morning. I’d told her to not RSVP, but to send a check. I had sent one since it started. I had too much money and it made me feel a little bit better when I gave it away to good causes. It wasn’t much, but it was something.
Then I saw my wife, sitting there, about to eat on her own and it just sprang from my lips. I wanted her with me. I wanted this tension between us to end. I wanted to kiss her again and consummate this marriage. I wanted to make it a real thing, more than I thought I would.
“You’re quiet tonight.”
“Just been a long day. Classes are getting to me. About to do my finals and I will be happy when it’s over.”
“You’ll do great. I’m sure of that.”
“Yes, it has helped that I don’t have to work. I can get more done in the evenings and my last paper was the best grade yet.”
“I’m glad.”
“Did you go to college?”
“For a while. It didn’t suit me.”
She smiled. “I can see that. You don’t do well with structure I bet.”
I nodded and agreed. “Never did.”
The tension was gone for a moment and I was happy to breathe air that wasn’t so thick. I knew that there was going to be some things to work through, but we were married after all and I heard many times that marriages take work.
My version of that was the evening. Chicks always loved these kinds of things. They got to dress up and try to one-up each other. I knew that Anna was different, but I hoped that there would be some similarities and she would see me in a better light. That’s really all I wanted. I wanted to give this, us, a chance.
We got to the place and I could tell by the expression on Anna's face that it was a bit overwhelming to her. She looked nervous and when I asked her about it, she denied it.
“There is nothing to be worried about when you’re here with me. They're just like everybody else.”
“Yeah except they could buy me out a thousand times over.”
I wanted to tell her that everything is going to be okay, but instead I just took her hand and squeezed it a little bit. I knew that she was nervous. This was our first public appearance as husband and wife. As silly as it sounded, I really did like the idea of it.
After a moment she seemed to settle herself and I asked her if she was ready. The driver was standing by outside of the door, waiting for a signal. He was always very good about things like that.
“So, are we ready to do this?”
She agreed, even if rather reluctantly and I tapped on the door so that Ernest could open up for her.
“Don't be alarmed, but they're probably going to take pictures Anna.”
I saw the alarm in her eyes just a moment before
the door was opened. A few seconds after that, there were flashes going off all around us and I got out quickly to get beside her. I was used to this sort of thing, but I can imagine how she was feeling at the moment. The hand that I held was gripping mine tightly and she was holding it like she was never going to let go.
I leaned in and told her that everybody was looking at her, because she was so beautiful.
She smiled my way. I didn't say much, instead of waiting around and taking more pictures, something that most women would want, I escorted her quickly inside the building. There was no one in there with cameras and I could see her visibly relax.
“You really don't like this, do you?”
“I really don't like attention on me.”
“Even from what you used to do?”
That got me a dirty look and I wanted to kick myself for being so flippant with my words. I knew that it was a tough subject for her, and I don't know why I said it.
“Sorry about that Anna. I didn't mean it.”
“No, I can understand why you would think that. It really was the only way that I could make college tuition. I don't think you'll ever realize how much I hated it. I wonder sometimes, if I will ever live it down.”
“It can’t be all bad Anna. It brought me to you after all.”
I was saying a lot of things I shouldn't say tonight. I was really going to have to check myself, but that particular comment made her smile, so it was almost worth it to have a little bit of vulnerability.
“Yes, and here we are.”
She was looking around the room and I spotted a couple of people that I knew. Usually I will go up to them and strike up a conversation. Usually I was rather social, but at the moment, I was more worried about the comfort level of my wife. She was not ready for such introductions quite yet.
“Would you like to get a drink?”
The smile now got a little bit bigger and she nodded her head yes. I think we both needed a drink.
We made our way to the bar and I ordered her a glass of wine and myself a whiskey. I was looking around at all the people trying to figure out which ones would be ones to avoid, and which ones wouldn't. There were a lot of people here that attended my wedding. Or the way they knew me was through Lexie. I didn't necessarily want to talk to any of them. I didn't want to answer a bunch of questions and more than that, I didn't want to put Anna through any of those awkward conversations. I knew that attention was the last thing that she wanted.
With drinks in hand, we looked around at the placards and found our table. I was seated with several people that I knew and one in particular worried me. Of course, I had been put right next to my brother Jeff. I was hoping that in all of his planning and scheming, that maybe he wouldn't have time to attend, but I should have known that I wasn’t that that lucky.
“Brother. It is so good to see you.”
I heard the voice and I closed my eyes. Of course, he would come. Most likely he was here to mess with me, but when I saw him, he was with someone that I wanted to see even less. His plus-one, wasn’t someone that I planned to sit next to tonight.
Jeff was here with my ex and it wasn't just me who was finding it hard to deal with the addition to the table. I couldn't believe that my brother had brought Lexie. He was somehow getting lower in his deception.
“Yes, Jeff it’s good to see you. I didn't think he would be at this sort of thing. You know, with all of the planning that you have to take over father's company.”
The last words just came out and again I wanted to kick myself for my loose lips. What was wrong with me? Was I just in some kind of shock or something? I was never this out of it. I was letting him get the best of me and it showed. I hated that the most.
“Can I talk to you for a moment?”
I had a hold of Jeff’s arm and I pulled him away from the table, telling Anna that I would be right back. I know that she wasn’t too happy to be left with Lexie, but I had no choice. I couldn’t let this go. I had to see what Jeff was doing here. It wasn’t a coincidence that he was here.
“What the fuck Jeff! You brought Lexie!”
He just smiled at me and I wanted to hit him even more.
“You didn’t marry her Scott, so she isn’t yours anymore. She can be with whoever she wants to be with.”
I sighed and then looked back at the table. This wasn’t going to end well. I wanted to kill my brother for his actions, but this was just what he did. It was just like I had told Anna. He would do anything, to get what he wanted.
It was the first time since we started all of this, that I had to wonder, was it even worth it?
Anna
I was sitting next to Lexie, watching the two brothers argue. Their voices weren’t all that raised, but by their expressions, it wasn’t an easy talk that they were having. Then Scott pulled back and hit his brother in the face. Neither one of us said anything, but I could tell that she was thinking the same thing I was. What had just happened?
It had been calm one moment and then they showed up and Scott was losing his shit. Jeff was knocked down and got up quickly, bouncing up to hit him back. They slugged it out for several moments before people around them started to pull them apart, instead of watching.
I moved towards the two and grabbed Scott’s arm.
“Why don’t we get out of here? I think we’ve had enough charity for one day.”
“Thank you. I thought you’d never ask.”
He took my hand and we made our way back outside. His brother had hit him in the mouth and there was a little blood on the corner of his lips. There was also blood on his shirt, but I didn’t think it was his. I had a feeling that it was his brother’s.
“What happened?”
“You saw. He brought Lexie!”
He was upset, but I didn’t know why. Was it because his brother had brought his ex or because he was jealous? It didn’t make sense, but I wasn’t stupid enough to ask. I didn’t think that I actually wanted to know the answer of it anyways.
“It’s over now. Why don’t we go get some dinner and not stress about it? He’s just trying to get to you and now there is another public thing that is going to get back to Jimmy. You can’t let your brother win because you can’t control your temper. You’re going to have to.”
Scott wasn’t too happy, but I could see that my words were getting to him. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that, but he just smiled, and I wanted to wipe it off of his face.”
I touched the corner of his mouth and wiped the blood away. “Well I think that you did that just fine.”
He grinned and pulled me in for a kiss before I knew what was happening. His lips were softer than before and then his hands were pulling me onto his lap. I tried to protest, but my body wasn’t going along with it. I could tell that this was going to go further if I didn’t stop it. Maybe I didn’t want to though.
Our lips broke away and I was able to breathe a little better. “Come home with me and be my wife Anna. I don’t need a friend tonight.”
There was something in the way that he said it. I don’t know why it affected me so much, but I wasn’t ready for it. I was straddling his legs, sitting on his lap facing him, but I knew that this was a bad idea. I wasn’t going to be able to recover from this as much as I’d like to. If he got ahold of me in that way, I wouldn’t be able to get away. I wasn’t ready for that sort of commitment, not even to my own husband.
“Well that’s all you’re going to get Scott. I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“It sure feels that way.”
His hands moved up my body and made me shiver. It did feel damn good, but I knew that it wasn’t meant to be. It was all too complicated and confusing. I stayed away from those two things and Scott was nothing but. It was the best thing I could do, stay as far away as I could. It was hard to do in a car, but I slid off of his lap and pressed myself up against the door. We were almost to the restaurant and then I’d have the space that I needed.
When we pu
lled up, I was out in a flash and I could have sworn that I heard him chuckle. Maybe I was just hearing things, but then again, maybe I wasn’t hearing things at all. I wouldn’t put it past him to find my discomfort funny to him.
“Good to see you Scott and this must be your new wife? We heard at the wedding, but I wasn’t sure I believed it or not.”
“Yes, well we are married now. This is Anna Nicale.”
Colt smiled. He took Anna’s hand and she grinned back. He didn’t have the lust in his eyes that most men did, and I knew that was because he’d just recently found his own wife. They were in love, I’d seen it on their face, at the same time that I’d felt a surge of jealousy. I had the same with Anna, it was just going to have to take some time for her to see it as well. I was getting older and it was time for me to settle down.
Colt stayed for a few minutes and I congratulated him about the baby on the way. He seemed happy and I had a feeling that Anna was going to do the same thing for me. Colt had always said that once I found the right one, I’d know. It was a raw conversation we’d had after a business meeting and it had taken a turn of truth.
“It’s good to see you happy, Scott. She’s beautiful.”
“Thank you. I wish everyone was as happy for us as you are.”
“I heard.”
I left it at that for a minute. I knew what he’d heard, so I didn’t ask him to elaborate. I didn’t want to hear what was being said, because there was no telling. It all depended on Lexie’s mood.
“Well, life sneaks up on you, much like love does.”
He put his hands up. “You are speaking to the choir. I never thought I’d find someone to love and then it just happened. You know how I was before.”
Colt was much like me and I knew that he’d changed. I could already feel myself changing, but I also knew that there was a lot that I didn’t know. I didn’t know how to make it work with her. It was confusing and the more I tried to play it out in my head, the further it got from the truth. I wanted to pull her in like I did most women, but Anna was reluctant. If she was anyone else, any other woman, I would have already had her in my bed. It was hard to wait when I wasn’t used to it.