by Jill Sanders
His eyes scanned the front yard and when he saw a branch move off to the side, he realized where she was going. Several other people were just driving up. He didn’t want to be distracted, so he ducked behind a large bush and started to make his way to the tree line.
When he approached the old clubhouse Nick and he had built, he sighed, remembering all the good times they’d had in it: That time they’d spent all summer camped out in it when they were ten. Or the first time they’d invited girls to the little building so they could learn how to kiss.
He almost chuckled and then caught himself when he heard Becca crying inside. Becca had been Nick’s first kiss.
Opening the door slowly, he ducked down to step inside. Had it always been this small? He remembered it being plenty big, back in the day.
Looking around, he was shocked to see that the little building was still in good shape. Then he saw Becca sitting in the corner. Her knees were up to her chest and her head was down.
Walking over, he sat on the old bench and picked her up off the dirt floor. She gasped a little, but when she noticed it was him, she collapsed into his chest and cried as he held her.
He hadn’t had time since he’d come home to cry for his lost friend. But as he held Becca, the emotions leaked from his eyes as well. Memories played through his mind as his eyes moved around the room.
He could see Nick everywhere, and the more he looked, the more it hurt. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on trying to comfort Becca. He could only imagine what she’d gone through, staying in town and reliving memories of Nick everywhere, like he was doing now.
His heart broke a little as she cried. He tried to think of something else. Then his mind focused on how wonderful Nick had had it. Becca had stayed true to him all these years. She’d waited. He remembered all the times Nick would tell him about a call he’d had from her. About how they were moving ahead with their wedding plans. He remembered the last time he’d seen Nick. Nick had been so excited about going home to see Becca again. They had set the wedding date and Nick had even asked his advice on planning out the honeymoon.
“I’m sorry,” Becca said against his chest, breaking into his thoughts.
“Don’t be,” he said, using the back of his sleeve to wipe away his own tears before she could see them.
She shook her head against his chest. “No, you’re parents must think—”
“They think you’ve had a hard time, just like we have,” he interrupted. “My folks feel like they’ve lost a son.”
She pulled back a little and looked up at him. Her eyes were red along with the tip of her nose. She was still as beautiful as he remembered. He’d always been jealous of Nick and Becca’s relationship. Not only because they had been so close, but because he’d always had a crush on his best friend’s girl. Her caramel colored hair was a little longer than it had been the last time he’d seen her. Her face was a little thinner and he’d never realized how small she was before.
He wished he had a tissue to give her. Then he remembered there might still be a roll of toilet paper in the box under the bench. Reaching down, he felt for it while still holding her. He was in luck.
“Here.” He handed her the roll. “It might be a little damp.”
She shook her head and blew her nose and wiped her eyes. “It’s fine, thank you.”
“It looks like your folks didn’t even step foot in here all this time.” She looked around.
He nodded. “Yeah, they’ve neglected a lot around here.”
“Nothing that can’t be fixed.” She started to scoot off his lap and he let her go. Instantly, he missed her warmth and how light she felt.
“Thank you.” She glanced up at him.
“You’ve already said that.” He smiled a little.
“No, for being here.” She looked down at her hands. “I wouldn’t have…” She shook her head. “It’s hard for me to stop, once I get started.”
He nodded, not knowing what to say.
“Are you going to be staying?” She glanced at him.
“Here?” He looked around.
“No.” She chuckled a little. “At your folks’ place.”
“Oh.” He thought about it. “I guess for a while.”
She frowned a little. “You probably have plans to go somewhere more exciting now.”
“More exciting?” He thought about it and shook his head no. “I’ve had a little too much excitement for one lifetime. I plan on staying in Pride.” He had thought long and hard about it. Pride was home, even if it meant dealing with the pain of losing his best friend, he was going to stick it out. After all, this was the place he’d been dreaming about for the last six years.
She looked down at her hands again. “I hope you don’t think that this was about you.”
“This?” He wished she’d look back at him with those hazel eyes of hers. “Oh! No, not at all,” he said when realization dawned on him.
“I just saw…” She looked back at him and her eyes connected with his. “I saw the uniform and…”
He nodded and pulled her closer. “I’m sorry. I should have changed, but my parents wanted…” He shook his head and wished he’d thought about the pain it would cause others to see him dressed like Nick would have been.
“Don’t, it’s okay.” She nodded. “Everyone is so proud of you.”
He didn’t know what to say. They shouldn’t be, not after the things he’d seen and done in the last six years. “Speaking of which. We’d better head back in. Do you think you’re up for it?”
She pulled back and looked up at him, then nodded slowly.
“Good.” He stood up and almost bumped his head on the roof. “I don’t remember this thing being this small before.”
She chuckled. “I think the last time you were in here, you were almost a foot shorter.” She smiled.
“Maybe.” He frowned and held out his hand to help her up. “If you need anything…”
She nodded. “Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me.” He frowned a little more. “Being around you helped me out, too.”
He watched her eyebrows shoot up in question.
“I was feeling pretty bad in there.” He nodded back towards the house as they stepped out of the fort. “I was dying for some air. So, thank you.”
She smiled. “Anytime.”
Chapter Two
When they walked back into the party, Sara rushed over to her immediately.
“Are you okay?” She could see the worry in her sister’s eyes.
“Yes, I’m fine.” She was thankful when Sean stayed close to her. She felt his hand on her back and, somehow, it steadied her.
“Oh, honey.” Sean’s mother walked over to her. “Are you okay, Becca?”
Becca nodded and hugged the woman back. “I’m fine now.” It was the truth. Usually, once she got the crying out, she felt better.
“Well, if you need anything.” She hugged her again.
“Thanks.” Becca looked around the room and noticed Nick’s parents sitting at the table next to Sean’s father. “I’d better go…” She nodded to the table.
Sean’s mother nodded. “I know that they would love to see you.” She smiled.
When Becca walked over to the table, Nick’s parents stood and hugged her. She’d thought that she was done with crying, but every time she saw the couple, she started back up.
“Come over here; sit with us for a while,” his mother, Lynn, said. “We’ve missed seeing you around. It’s all Phillip’s fault really.” She smiled at her husband.
Her husband chuckled a little. “Trying to watch my waist.” He patted his belly. “Every time we go into the bakery to see you, we have to have some of your sister’s delicious treats. I was gaining five pounds every time we stepped foot in the bakery’s doors.”
Becca laughed.
“I don’t know how you work there and still look like you do,” Lynn said.
“Too much sugar gives me a headache.” Becca sat next to th
e woman and was happy when Sean settled next to her.
“We are just so proud of this boy,” Phillip said, patting Sean on the back.
“It seems like just yesterday that Sean and Nick were in diapers,” Lynn said, smiling a little. “Where does the time go?” She sighed and Becca could see a little sadness in her eyes.
“So, what kind of job will you be looking for, now that you’ve decided to stick around?” Phillip asked Sean.
Sean looked a little lost. “I hadn’t really thought about it. I was going to spend some time helping my folks out around here, first.”
“That’s good,” Sean’s father piped in. “Since I broke my leg a few years back, I haven’t been able to keep the place up myself.”
Sean nodded. “After that, I’ll see what happens.” He looked out the window like he was thinking about it.
“I know Robert has an opening down at the office,” Lynn said absentmindedly. Robert Brogan had been sheriff of Pride for years. He was also a regular at Sara’s Nook. He liked his raspberry-filled donuts and vanilla latte every morning. The last time he’d been in, he’d been complaining about being short staffed.
“Working for the sheriff?” Sean seemed to think about it. “That wouldn’t be such a bad job, I suppose.”
She nodded her head and smiled. “Of course, there’s always teaching football at the high school. Johnathan Princeton was in the bakery the other day with a broken leg.” She smiled. “He’ll be out this whole season, so I know the school will be looking for someone to run drills during the summer.”
“Hmm, football.” Sean frowned a little. “Dealing with a bunch of moody teenagers. I think I had enough of that in high school and the forces.”
Everyone laughed.
“You could always join the Coast Guard,” Allen said from behind her. Becca turned and glared at him. It wasn’t a bad idea, but he was always pushing every one she knew to join up.
“There’s a new subdivision being built on the other side of town, near the sports complex. You could get hired on as a contractor,” Nick’s father said.
For the next ten minutes, more and more ideas were presented to Sean. Becca could see him becoming a little overwhelmed with everyone being so concerned about his next move.
Finally, when she could, she stepped in and changed the subject to the weather.
“I think I’m going to go mingle.” Sean stood up a few minutes later and excused himself. His eyes zeroed in on hers as his eyebrows shot up in question. It was clear that he was asking if she wanted to go with him.
“I’ll just go find my sister,” she said, looking around. Allen took her place at the table as she and Sean made their way towards the back of the house where most of the noise was coming from.
She should have known it would be coming from the Jordan clan. The entire back room was filled with the large family.
“I thought that this is where the party would be,” Sean said, stepping in and shaking Todd’s hand. Todd was the oldest, but Lacey, his petite younger sister, was the rowdiest.
“Don’t mind us,” Lacey said, smiling. We were just celebrating your return home without you.”
Everyone chuckled. The next few minutes were filled with Sean greeting everyone in the room.
Becca stood off to the side, talking with Todd’s wife, Megan, as she held their youngest, Susannah, who was fast asleep. Even with all the noise going on, the little girl’s blonde head rested against her mother’s shoulder.
“She can sleep through anything.” Megan smiled. “I suppose it helps that she tries to keep up with her big brother and sister.”
Becca smiled and rubbed the back of her finger against the girl’s chubby cheeks. Becca had babysat for the Jordan’s on several occasions, as well as for Lacey and Aaron.
But after she’d started working with her sister full time, she’d passed on the babysitting to Cara, her younger neighbor.
“Are you okay?” Megan asked quietly. Becca nodded her head and looked up into the woman’s blue eyes, seeing concern and compassion there.
“I’ll be okay.” Becca and Megan had talked on several occasions after Nick had died. Megan had lost her only brother several years back and Becca knew that Megan understood the pain she’d gone through.
“Well, if you need anything.” Megan touched her arm.
Becca smiled. “It’s weird having him back.” She nodded to Sean. “I mean, seeing him without Nick.”
Megan smiled. “From what I hear, the two were pretty much inseparable.”
Becca nodded. “Trust me, you didn’t see one of them without the other being a few feet behind.” She chuckled. “It did get a little awkward when Nick and I started officially dating.”
Megan smiled. “Kind of like our Matthew and his cousin Conner, Iian and Allison’s boy.” She nodded to the kids’ corner where two little boys around the same age were huddled together. “Conner is two years younger, but they look the same age.” Megan shook her head. “That kid is going to be tall.”
Becca smiled. “Of course it helps that both of his parents are giants.” She nodded over to where Iian and Allison stood, talking with Sean. She was a little surprised to see Sean using sign language to communicate with Iian, who was deaf. She hadn’t known that Sean knew the language. Of course, she’d been too focused on Nick back in the day to ever really notice Sean.
She watched him now. He was a lot taller than Nick had been. Of course, her memories could be wrong. It seemed the more she tried to hold onto memories of Nick, the more she forgot. She could remember the color of his eyes, the way his smile made her melt, and how he felt next to her. But she had a hard time remembering his voice, the richness of his laugh, and even how he smelled. It was those things that always made her sad.
Sean laughed a little at something Iian had said, bringing her attention back to him. He had a nice laugh. Hearing it reminded her of the times she’d found Nick and him huddled together in the fort out back, laughing at comic books.
She couldn’t stop herself from smiling.
“He’s a good-looking man,” Megan said, smiling at her. “I’m sure he’s looking forward to getting on with his life around here.” Becca looked over at Megan and nodded.
“Well, I think I’m going to go find a quiet place to lay this little one down.” She ran a hand over the sleeping baby’s back. “Talk to you later. Remember, if you need someone to talk to…”
Becca nodded and watched Megan disappear. When she turned, she almost bumped into Lacey.
“Oh!”
“Sorry.” Lacey smiled. “I have a habit of sneaking up on people.”
Becca smiled. Lacey was one of her favorite people in town. When the woman had been pregnant with her second child, Riley, she’d come into the bakery almost on a daily basis, sometimes twice a day. When she’d gotten a little too big, she’d sent her husband.
Looking down at the smaller woman now, you would have never guessed how big she’d gotten during that time.
“How’s it going down at the bakery?”
“Good.” Becca sighed. “Of course, we lost our best patron when you had Riley.”
Lacey chuckled. “I swear it was all that little girl’s fault.” She glanced over at the child playing in the corner with a few other kids. “She still has a sweet tooth,” Lacey whispered.
Becca laughed.
“How are you doing?” Lacey looked back towards her.
“Fine. I’m fine.” Becca smiled, but she knew why everyone was asking. It was so hard to keep up the facade. What she wanted was some more fresh air.
“I’m going to step out, get some fresh air.” She nodded towards the back doors.
When Becca stepped out on the back deck, she inwardly sighed when she noticed she wasn’t alone. Several of the older people sat out there, talking under the awning.
She didn’t feel like talking anymore, especially since everyone seemed so concerned about her. It was getting old having everyone ask her how she was doing.
How did they think she was doing? The love of her life was gone. Just gone. She slipped down the side steps and walked towards the front of the house. Maybe there she could have a moment to herself.
Working at one of the busiest places in town meant that you knew everyone. Not just little circles, like most people did, but everyone.
Usually, seeing people and chatting with them helped her stay distracted. But today was different. Today, she wanted to be left alone.
She found a small bench along the side of the house and sat down. She didn’t know how long she sat out there alone, but when her sister came and got her, she was ready to leave.
“I’m sorry we stayed so long,” Sara said, opening the truck door for her. “Allen got to talking.” She smiled over at her husband.
“Right.” He smiled back.
“It’s okay. I enjoyed myself,” she lied.
“Right,” Sara said, looking back at her.
“Well, I didn’t not enjoy it.” She frowned a little and looked out the window as they drove off. She hadn’t even told anyone good-bye, but she wasn’t up to it. Besides, it wasn’t as if she wasn’t going to be seeing everyone soon anyway.
Most everyone in Pride stepped through the doors of Sara’s Nook sooner or later.
*******
Sean had such a busy week working on his parent’s house that he hadn’t had time to swing by and talk to Becca again. He’d missed seeing her after he’d watched her disappear out the back door. She must have snuck out and then left with her sister and brother-in-law. He’d been too busy listening to all the job ideas from everyone who’d attended his party to notice her go. He was starting to question if his parents had put everyone up to it.
He’d been putting off giving Becca the box of Nick’s stuff. It wasn’t that he was scared of what Becca would feel, just that once the box was out of his hands, he’d feel that loss all over again for his friend.
But it had been over a week since he’d seen her at the party, and he knew it was time to make a trip into town and stop by her sister’s bakery.