by Jill Sanders
His mind went to their kiss the night before. Instantly his heart fell a little. Did she regret it? Did she not enjoy it? Oh, god! Why did he feel like a teenager around her?
“About what you said at the bakery. You haven’t done anything wrong to Skyler.” She shook her head. “You don’t owe her anything. She’s the one that ran around, cheating on you. She lied and told everyone all sorts of stories about you.”
He walked closer to her and set the pizza down. “I just meant…” He sighed. “I shouldn’t have proposed to her. I feel like I wasted so much of her time. She should have gone off and married a man who could handle everything that is Skyler.”
Becca laughed. “No such man exists.”
He chuckled and took a step closer to her. When he noticed her breath hitch, he smiled a little.
“About last night.”
She swallowed and nodded.
“About this…” His hand went to her face. “Are you okay…”
She smiled and nodded slowly. “I think so. I mean, I don’t know.” She closed her eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. “I hadn’t expected it.”
“Neither did I. Trust me.” He pulled back and looked at her. “How about some pizza? I’m starved.” He couldn’t have cared less about the pizza right then, but he needed a moment to calm down. She looked so fresh tonight. She must have just stepped out of the shower since her hair was still damp. It smelled like strawberries and he wanted to lick her skin to see if she tasted as good as she smelled.
When she smiled and nodded, it took all his willpower to take a step back.
“There’s a game on, if you want to watch it and eat in the living room.”
He chuckled. “I thought you’d never ask. If I remember correctly, you’re a huge Denver fan.”
She smiled and nodded. “And you’re a Seattle fan.”
He laughed. “Maybe if Oregon ever gets a baseball team, we can both root for the same team.”
She chuckled. “Maybe, someday.”
He smiled and took a slice of pie. He found it so easy to talk to her as they watched the game. Even though neither of their favorite teams was playing, they still enjoyed cheering and arguing over plays. It was just like old times.
By the time the dessert was gone, he felt so relaxed and right about his decision to go on the cruise with her.
“So, we really leave the day after tomorrow?” She sighed and leaned back on the sofa.
He nodded. “If you have your passport.”
She smiled. “I got it a few years back. I was going to surprise Nick when he was in Mexico.” She frowned a little. “But then they moved him to Germany instead.” She sighed.
“I remember. He was really bummed about not being so close to you.”
“It must have been hard for you guys. To be so far away from home. From everyone you loved.”
He nodded. “We had our unit. They pretty much became our family.” He smiled. “There was never a dull moment, that’s for sure.”
“Were you two stationed together a lot? Nick never could tell me much.”
He nodded. “Still can’t tell you much, but, yes. For the most part, we were together. Except that last year.” He frowned. “I was called to Asia and he stayed in Munich.”
“Nick never really told me what you did. I know you were both Special Forces.”
He nodded and frowned as he looked down at his hands. “Have you ever heard of combat divers?”
“Like in water? No. I thought the Navy took care of everything water?”
He shook his head. “Almost every branch of the military has a team of combat divers. They’re used for lots of different reasons. Underwater demolition, special warfare, ops, explosive disposals.” He watched her face pale a little. “We were mainly salvage and infiltration. We spent the first year and a half in training in Key West.” Becca tucked her feet up underneath her. Reaching over, he played with the ends of her hair. It was completely dry now and looked like honey in the soft light. “We went to UOS, Underwater Operations School. It’s funny, both Nick and I passed with flying colors.” He chuckled remembering how shocked they were that they were both really good at the same thing. Fate. That’s what they had called it. “So, we officially became frogmen and because we worked well together, they shipped us everywhere as a team. Divers need to be able to trust who they dive with. We worked, and it made sense to keep us together.”
“What did you do? I mean, I get that you were divers, but…”
He shook his head. “You’d be surprised at how many situations call for maritime infiltration.”
She smiled a little. “You make it sound like a James Bond movie.”
He chuckled. “Some days it felt like it.” His smile faltered a little. “Others, it was just a job.”
“Did Nick enjoy it?”
When he looked at her, he couldn’t really read the emotion behind her eyes. He nodded. “Loved every minute of it. Actually, when he heard about the Coast Guard setting up camp in town, he was thrilled about it. He even thought about getting a job being a trainer after his time was done.”
She smiled. “He would have been a good teacher.”
He frowned a little and looked down at his hands. Nick would have been an excellent teacher. But Sean didn’t think he had it in him to do that kind of job. Didn’t think he had the patience.
“What about you?” Her question threw him off. “Did you enjoy it?”
He nodded slowly. “At first. Maybe I was riding on Nick’s coattails because, after a while, it lost some of its shine.”
She nodded. “I know what you mean.”
He waited and when she didn’t continue, he probed a little. “What has lost its shine for you?”
She looked up at him and he felt tightness in his chest. Her eyes were mesmerizing, so beautiful. He wondered why he would ever look away.
“It was fun at first, working for my sister at the bakery. But lately.” She sighed and shook her head.
“So many people have been asking me what I want to do since I returned home. I’d hate to sound like them, but what does Becca want?”
She smiled. “Don’t let anyone rush you.”
He smiled and shook his head. “Don’t worry; I’m setting my own pace.”
“Good.” She sighed. “Becca wants to teach history.”
His eyebrows shot up.
“Oh, don’t give me that look.” She laughed. “I’d be great at it. Young kids of course. I don’t think I want to deal with teenagers, either.”
He smiled. “Of course.”
She frowned at him. “What does that mean?”
He laughed. “I remember what you were like as a teen. No wonder you want to avoid dealing with it again.”
She reached over and punched him lightly on the shoulder. He faked being hurt and she smiled.
“Why don’t you?” He reached out and played with her hair again. It was quickly becoming a pleasurable habit.
She shrugged her shoulders. “I haven’t had the time to go to school. Or the money.” She sighed. “I’ve been saving up, you know, for the wedding. And after Nick died…I thought I would use it for school, but I guess time just got away from me.”
“Maybe when we get back, you can look into it.”
She nodded. “I think it’s time.” She smiled at him. Maybe he didn’t know what it was he wanted to do with his future, but at that moment, he knew that whatever it was, he wanted her to be a part of it.
Chapter Eight
She had packed way too much and it was all Sara’s fault. She stood back and watched Sean load her bags on the cart, and she clutched her carry-on bag and purse. She was thankful when he didn’t say anything about her heavy luggage, but just smiled at her and nodded towards the door.
“Ready?” he asked.
She nodded and then turned to her sister and brother-in-law. After hugging them both again, she straightened her shoulders and followed Sean into the airport.
“Don�
��t be nervous,” he said and winked at her.
“I’m not. I’m excited.” He continued to look at her. “Okay, a little nervous.” She smiled.
“I’m right there with you.” They moved into line together. “Even after all the trips I’ve taken, I still get a little anxious when I fly.”
She smiled and tried to focus on the people around her. She loved to people-watch. She did a lot of it when she went shopping at the mall in Portland, but this was different. Here at the airport, there were people from all over the world.
She got so involved watching the people around her that the time in line flew by. Before she knew it, they were heading towards security.
“You thought standing in the baggage line was fun…” Sean said dryly and then chuckled as he nodded to the line at security. She sighed. It was going to be a very long day.
By the time they finally boarded and got settled on the plane, she was almost completely drained. She was also starving. She’d grabbed a bag of chips and a water from a vending machine, but they had done little to fill her stomach.
“We’ll have lunch in the air,” Sean said, sitting next to her.
She nodded. “I’m starved, but don’t know if I can eat.” She hugged her stomach and felt her nerves return.
He reached over and took her hand and smiled at her. “You’ll see. You build it up in your mind and, when it’s over, you’ll laugh at yourself for making such a fuss over nothing.”
She smiled at him. “I suppose.”
By the time the instructions came over the speaker, she was gripping Sean’s hand in a death grip. She was breathing quickly and she felt a little light-headed.
Sean lifted her chin and forced her face towards his. She focused on his brown eyes and his mouth. She could barely hear what he was saying over the buzzing in her mind, but she felt his fingers on her face as he leaned closer. Her breath caught as he rested his forehead on hers, and she closed her eyes on a sigh.
“That’s it, just breathe. Slowly now,” he whispered and then placed a kiss on her forehead. “Feel better?”
She opened her eyes and nodded. When he smiled, she sighed and felt her body relax a little.
“That wasn’t so bad after all. Was it?”
She laughed. “Right.” Shaking her head, she looked around, worried that she’d made a terrible scene.
“No one noticed,” he said softly and smiled.
She glanced around and realized he was telling the truth. Everyone else around them was preoccupied with themselves.
She felt a slight shift in the plane and gripped the armrests.
“It’s okay, we’re just turning a little.” He chuckled. “Relax.”
She nodded. “Are…are we in the air yet?”
He nodded and she could tell he was trying to not laugh at her.
She stole a glance out the small window and then closed her eyes. Not only were they in the air, but they were very far up, and the ground looked too far away.
“Relax, the worst part is over.” He took her hand, gently prying her fingers from the armrests. “It’s easy from here on out.”
She nodded and focused on his voice. The next time she opened her eyes, Sean was handing her a cup of clear liquid. “Club soda. It might help to settle your stomach.”
She nodded and took a few sips.
“Do you want some crackers?” He held up a package.
She felt settled enough after nibbling on the crackers to keep her eyes open for a while.
“I don’t know how people do this every day,” she said in a low voice.
He leaned closer to her. “I just turn everything off. There was this guy we trained with, and no matter what, the second the plane engines started, he fell asleep.” He shook his head and chuckled. “He didn’t wake up until after the landing. Every single time he stepped in a plane he did that.” He shook his head and smiled at her. “He slept for twelve hours straight one time.”
“I don’t think I’d want to lose control like that. No, I may not like it, but I want to see and know everything that’s going on.”
He smiled at her. “Here comes the food. Do you think you can eat?”
She nodded and sighed. Her shoulders had relaxed a little. She focused on the feeling of his hand in hers and the sound of his voice until their trays were delivered.
By the time they started their descent for their first stop in Denver, she was completely relaxed. Of course, the second it was mentioned over the speakers that they were getting ready to descend, she tensed up again, but Sean was right there to help her get through it.
They had less than an hour wait until their next flight and this time she controlled her fears more easily. By the time they finally landed in Miami, she felt like she could handle anything that came her way, as long as Sean was there to hold her hand and talk her through it.
*******
Sean was a wreck and it had nothing to do with flying. He’d never seen someone so panicked as Becca had been when they had first taken off. He’d done his best to talk her through it, and it had seemed to work.
Holding her hand and talking to her had also helped with the nerves he felt about the entire trip. He didn’t know how to handle spending more than a week with just the two of them in one of the most romantic settings known to man. He sighed as he set their bags down in their hotel room. Becca stood in front of him, looking at the small room.
“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be,” she said and turned to him with a smile. He could see a touch of those nerves there again.
“What? The entire day? Or the room?” He smiled.
“Everything. I’ve never stayed at a hotel before. Well, maybe once.” She tilted her head and looked like she was thinking about something. “I guess not.” She shook her head and laughed.
“Well, this isn’t the best room for a first timer.” It was a standard room. Two full-sized beds, a little table and chairs, a dresser, and a night stand.
“I think it’s great.” She walked around and looked at everything.
He laughed and then pulled their bags out of the walkway that led to the bathroom.
“Is it going to be weird?” he said after she settled on the bed with the remote to the TV in her hands. She was flipping through channels like she’d never seen any of it before.
“What?” she asked and muted the set.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I guess we never really talked about the fact that we’d be sharing a room this entire trip.”
She nodded and swallowed.
“Is it going to be weird?” He held his breath.
She shook her head slowly. “Only if we make it weird.” She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at her hands.
He sighed. “Good, then let’s not make it weird.” He smiled, trying to hide the fact that his eyes kept roaming over her. “How about ordering room service?”
Her eyes perked up and she bounced a few times up and down. “Sounds great.” She rushed over to the menu by the telephone.
They sat on separate beds, watching an old movie and eating dinner, and it killed him even more. Just the thought of her lying in the bed next to him was going to keep him up all night. He could just imagine her hair fanned out on the pillows, her dark eyelashes resting on her perfect skin. He tried to hide a sigh as he imagined how she would look.
“What time are we supposed to be at the boat?”
He chuckled. “It’s a ship, not a boat.”
She frowned a little, but nodded.
“Four tomorrow night, but we’ll need to be there early, at least two hours, to check in and go through security.” She groaned and he laughed. “At least we should have a little time to look around Miami in the morning.”
*******
Could he tell that she was nervous? She kept sneaking peeks at him, but so far, he seemed too interested in his dinner and the movie to notice. She was comfortable enough on her very own bed, across the room from him, but her insides were bubbling with nerv
es.
It wasn’t as if they were going to sleep together, she kept telling herself. Just in the same room.
He’d asked her if it was going to be weird and she’d answered truthfully. She didn’t want to be the one to make it weird, so she’d done everything she could to act like she was enjoying the time.
She’d never been anywhere and was very excited about spending some time walking around Miami tomorrow.
The short shuttle ride from the airport to the hotel hadn’t given her much insight into the city, other than it was hot and sticky. She’d been too glued to the window, watching the lights go by, to care.
There were more skyscrapers than Portland, and palm trees lined the streets. She’d smiled and pointed them out to Sean, who had just nodded and smiled back at her. She knew she’d probably acted like a child the entire day, but she wasn’t going to let it bother her. Plus, Sean was being such a great sport about it all that she didn’t feel too bad.
But now, as the movie came to an end, she thought about having to change out of her clothes and crawl into her bed with him nearby.
Deciding to be casual about it, she jumped up. “I’m going to shower,” she announced. She tossed him the remote then grabbed her small bag.
He snatched up the remote and started flipping through channels, paying no more attention to her. When she shut the bathroom door, she sighed and leaned against it.
The entire time that she showered, her mind was focused on the fact that there was a man in the next room.
She had plenty of experience with Nick, but none of it had ever involved sleeping together. They’d been kids. Once, Nick had planned on spending the night at her place when her mother had been gone, but Sara had shown up and Nick had had to go home. She’d been so excited about the possibility of sleeping in a bed with Nick that she had been in a bad mood around Sara for weeks after.
In all the time that she had been with Nick, she’d never once been nervous like this, except that first night they had been together on her birthday.