by K. Z. Riman
“I love you, Kelsey Fontez.” It took him over a year to say those words to me, but I had wanted him to say them to me for months.
“I love you, Seth. You. Just you.”
The wind brushed past my cheek again and I was brought back to reality. It was cold, and I felt even lonelier.
I decided to tiptoe my way to the kitchen to make myself a sandwich.
I didn’t want to turn the lights on and see how enormous and beautiful the kitchen was. I wanted to be alone, in the dark for a moment, to think. I needed to think about what happened at dinner, the ring, and Mrs. Grimaldi’s sudden request that I call her Mother. Everything was moving way too fast and I was beginning to fear that I would be caught up in it, with no way of returning to my old life. Would it be fair for me to stay here for good?
Taking just enough food from the fridge to make my sandwich, I sat and sighed.
“Kelsey?”
I jumped at the sudden, deep male voice that came from one dark corner of the kitchen. Was I dreaming? I heard footsteps towards the wall and the lights turned on to reveal his handsome face. I could not believe my eyes. I saw him. After years and years of waiting, I saw him again.
“Seth.”
Chapter Two
The Twin Brother, Scott Grimaldi
Shit. I knew she would call me that when she saw me. Kelsey was always so stuck on my twin brother, Seth, that she had eyes just for him. Perhaps it was her pain of losing him that made her seem so crazily paranoid.
It had been six years and incredibly, she still longed for him. The thought made my chest twitch, a sting of pain I had to deal with every now and then when I thought of her and bothered enough to wonder how she was doing.
It had been a saving point in my life to think the love she felt could be something changeable, something that could fade over time. She could forget about my brother and her infatuation with him. As she called his name to my face again, I guessed I would have to be more patient. She had not forgotten him.
How could she when her son was a complete reminder of Seth? The boy had our golden brown hair and amethyst eyes, and his jaw outlined exactly like his father’s and mine. The boy was definitely Seth’s and that gave me an undeniable feeling of relief.
I watched her while she walked in, not knowing I was in the kitchen eating by myself. I had just arrived from my father’s version of an exile. After forcing me to study business management while Seth studied law, he asked that I studied pharmacology abroad. I refused, over and over again, even though Father ranted, threatening to disown me.
I could manage the company even without becoming a pharmacologist, I defended. Did he listen? Of course not. Because I was me. I was Scott and I was never like my twin brother.
Shortly after Seth’s death, I began to realize I’d lost a part of myself. I conceded and went away to escape from the pain of losing—ironically—a great part of my existence, no matter how I loathed it. After internship at my father’s friend’s company, I had arrived home just hours ago, but I wasn’t really planning on staying.
Damn me to hell, I wasn’t fucking staying!
“What do you mean, you will return to Europe?” Father yelled. It was a wonder that Kelsey didn’t hear anything as her room was across the hallway from mine.
“You heard me, Father. I’m not staying here. I have made up my mind. I never wished to run the company and even as I studied those courses you forced me to take, I really wanted to be a free man and have my own company. But not here.” Not here.
It took every ounce of my patience not to be rude to him. I was tired of being told what to do, and if I said what I wanted carefully, I knew he would not take it the wrong way and devise yet another plan to get me to stay.
Father let out a sigh of exhaustion as he sat down.
Mother was fanning herself endlessly, looking everywhere but at me as she tried to think of ways to make me stay. “Dear, you have been away from us far too long…”
“I visit you often.”
“You think that is enough?” Father raised his voice at me again. “Scott, I’m getting old and this…this act of yours is getting a bit wearying! You are pushing thirty and you have good credentials, but what do you do? You waste your time gambling and bedding strange women! What is it that you are returning to in Europe?”
He wouldn’t understand so there was no use in me telling him. He was a father to me and had always been. What was so bad about it was that he was a completely different father to me than to Seth. Even while I was a kid and told him I wanted to run a nightclub someday, he just shoved me off, saying I ought to be more like my twin brother. “I will build my empire, Father.”
“Ah, yes. Your never-ending desire to own a nightclub or a casino.” He shook his head, complete disappointment shown in his eyes that I took after my grandfather, Gordon. He built our pharmaceutical company as a front to his underground activities.
I would be fucking damned if I even managed something like that. I wasn’t trying to do something illegal for goodness’ sake! I wasn’t planning on running a criminal empire. I just wanted to live and work at the same time and with the kind of life I wanted, it had to be a nightclub. “It is what I want.”
He stared at me. After a few seconds of thinking, he suddenly had it—that glint in his eyes that made me realize he was up to something. “Fine, then. I will make you a deal.”
“I knew it.” I stood up and paced about the room. I wasn’t going to get away with what I wanted that easily. “You can’t even give me what I want, without having it your way!”
“Listen to me! Run the company for a year…just a year…so you can work for me. At least return as a favor for my years of hard work, sending you to two prestigious schools. This same day next year, we can talk about this again. Tell me if you really want to run a nightclub, or a casino, or whatever excuse for a job you wish to have, and I will release your inheritance early.” He said it with so much ease; I was beginning to feel he already thought about this long before I came to confront him.
“Just one year?” I doubted it. How could he make it just one year? There had to be something else…a trap.
“Yes, son, just one year. For the year, you will live with your mother and me in this mansion and the company will utilize your skills. After the year is up, you can go.” He seemed serious. His eyes never left mine.
Mother was looking at him, wide-eyed. She was almost in tears as she shook her head. I had to grab on to this as much as I could.
“Who will help you run the company after a year?” I asked, trying to be stern.
“Kelsey will.”
“Kelsey?” I managed to stifle my laugh. Was he freaking serious? How could she run the company when she hadn’t studied anything related to what it produced?
“Yes. She is smart, able. She is practically your brother’s widow and she has your brother’s son. She will help me until your nephew is ready to take over my position. The company shall be his.”
Fuck. I took a sharp breath. “Really.”
“You need not worry, Scott. The company is nothing to your inheritance, I assure you. You will not be poor because your nephew inherits the company.” There was displeasure in his voice.
“Fine.” I stood and conceded. I needed my rest. “I will help you run the company for a year, and then I’m out.”
That was what happened last night. I could stay here for a fucking year and be on my way, leaving everyone, even Kelsey, the woman I was staring at this very moment in a dim kitchen.
She jumped, hearing me call her. I was surprised that she was here…finally. After the many phone calls from Mother, most of which she did not take, and all those excuses she gave so she would not bring her son here, she finally came. It was about time, anyway.
“No.” I took a step forward and she took one b
ack, wide-eyed. “It’s Scott.”
She turned away for a moment and held on to the counter to catch her breath. I had frightened her. She was not ready to see the face that probably haunted her dreams and her cold bed. I looked exactly like Seth and much as it was a blessing, it might have become a curse to her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
She was even slimmer than before. At my twin’s funeral, she looked pale and exhausted from her pregnancy. Now she looked pale, slim and exhausted from taking care of her boy. She was wonderful to look at. It was even truer now, with her mystery coming from a different place—pain, longing, loneliness.
I had always wanted to get her alone in college. Not only did I realize she was one of the few decent women on the campus, she was also the woman I shared affection for, with Seth. For the first time in our lives, he and I desired the same woman. I was just so fucking stupid to not make it clear to the guys that day when we bullied her into doing what we wanted.
Maybe it was right for me to do so. If it hadn’t been Seth who came to her rescue that day, and if it were me, I would have asked for something in return. I would have taken her somewhere that night and seduced her, only to boast to the guys how I did it. I would have ruined her.
Not Seth. Seth was different. He wanted to marry her.
“Are you okay?” I managed to ask, without rushing to touch her hand. Seeing her brought back memories of how she used to be. I could not decide, as I stared at her, if those memories were too little or too much to justify the fact that I still desired her.
“Yes,” she said under her breath, not looking my way. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“You must be hungry,” I said, walking over to the island and beginning to make her a sandwich. I convinced myself while so doing, that it was only because I pitied her and didn’t want to leave her alone with a broken heart, that I stayed and fed her.
“I can do that by myself,” she said, taking the pieces of bread from me.
As always, she was indignant towards me. She had hated me from the day I let my friends take shots at her, and I hated myself for the same reason. As retribution, I tried a lot of times to apologize to her, but each moment I was about to, I would lose courage and she would turn away from me again. When I learned she was dating Seth, I had forced myself to be meaner to her, to make sure she did not end up cheating on my brother with me, even as I wanted it so damn much.
She took her food and ate in silence. She sat and ignored me as I stood, watching her. “When did you arrive?”
“Last night.”
“Didn’t you have dinner with Mother and Father?”
She remained quiet, chewing slowly, as if she wasn’t even in the same room as me at the moment. She was staring out the window. She must be tired from the travel. I was feeling tired, myself. “Well, welcome home,” I murmured, before turning away and walking out of the kitchen.
I was panting as I reached my room. I was out of breath and I could not understand why. What the hell is this shit? It must be from exhaustion, I was sure. Nothing emotional.
Still…seeing her made me feel so young and alive again. I felt like a part of my brother had returned to me, and I wanted it close. Who was I fooling? I wanted her close to me. I wanted to see what it felt like to have her under me, to watch her face as she reached the peak of her desire, to understand why Seth wanted to propose marriage to her.
Maybe it was because she was pregnant. Seth could be stupid at times. He could listen to nothing but his damn fragile heart that I could crush so easily. She was pregnant and there could be no other logical reason. Perhaps he wanted to have sex with her whenever he wanted. Although, that was an even worse reason! Fuck me to hell if I had sex with only one woman a month.
I had secretly watched as she let my brother take everything she had to offer a relationship. She would cuddle close to him, smile shyly and blush at everything he whispered in her ears. Whenever she was in our apartment, I would hear her giggle and gasp at each kiss he gave her. I had often wondered if she would do the same with me. Yet her flair wasn’t what drew me to her. It was her vitality, her zing. When she argued with me about little things, I had to be mean to her to put off my desire for her.
“You won’t get me to taste that shit,” I remembered telling her one day when she came over so she could cook for Seth some lamb stew. She had finished her last class and Seth was on his way back from a case.
She rolled her eyes at me. “Good, because it’s not for you.”
I chuckled just to get her angrier at me. “Well, you are a mean one, aren’t you? Going to let a man starve…”
“Go and ask one of your women to cook for you,” she snapped.
She had always known how often I changed the women I brought to bed. Since she had been coming over, she must have met over a dozen blonde women I fucked for less than a few days. “Those blonde ones.”
What she didn’t understand was that I was never attracted to blonde women. I just wanted to bring home women who were not like her—black curly hair, hazel eyes, fair skin. “I sure would.” To take it up a notch, I picked up the pack of the special spice she was going to put in next. “Hey, what’s this?”
“Give that back.” She almost hit me with the cooking ladle she was holding. Even on her tippy toes, she could not reach the spice in my raised hands. She didn’t realize she looked cute in her attempt. It was fucking crazy…how she could drive me this wild…this hard…
“Go ahead and take it,” I told her, fighting all urges to ask her to kiss me and I would definitely give it back.
She managed to hit me on my chest, which didn’t even hurt. She was pouting in her annoyance. It was the same expression she always gave when she was being bullied in school and I had come to find it irresistible, very enthralling. “Damn it, Scott! Just give it to me!” I lowered my hand and all the powder spilled right on top of her head. “See what you have done!”
“Hey, what’s going on here?” Seth was always the positive thinker. He did not notice how I tried touching his girlfriend’s hair.
“Seth!” She immediately ran to him for comfort, just like she always did when I teased her. Idiot! “Look what your brother did to me!”
Seth laughed, fixing her hair and blowing off the remains of the powder. “I see. You smell delicious. Now go and take a shower. I’ll finish cooking.”
She forcefully threw her apron at me, making Seth chuckle and shake his head. “You are one crazy man. Leave her be, Scott.”
“She is fun to tease. She runs to you for comfort at the littlest things I do to her.” I brushed some powder off my shirt.
“Well, she’s a kid.” Seth took two bottles of beer and handed me one. “She always seems so helpless for someone so independent.”
She needed someone. She needed a family. When Seth died and left her with a child, she ran away from us, thinking we’d take the child from her and leave her behind.
* * * *
When I opened my eyes, morning had broken and I heard my nephew’s laughter as he and Father swam in the backyard pool. Excited to see Kelsey again, I rushed down to the backyard deck after my shower to join them for brunch.
“Scott! I have been waiting!” Mother gave me a tight hug.
“I didn’t get to sleep until four, this morning,” I said as she released me. Father was in the pool with a little boy. Oh God, he is so much like us. “Hello, Father.” As I walked closer, the boy fell quiet and tightened his grip on Father’s hand. “You must be Sean.”
The boy nodded and narrowed his eyes. “Why do you look like my dad?”
The question choked me.
“It’s Uncle Scott, dear. He and your dad are identical twins,” I heard Mother say cheerfully.
“I’m your father’s brother, boy.” Somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to say his name, no matter
how many times I had said it while I was alone, talking to Seth in my head. The boy reminded me so much of him.
“Hello.” He had a smile like his father’s. I took a sharp breath seeing it, and I stepped back. “Grandma and Grandpa will get me a dog today. Will you come, Uncle Scott?” He also had the same enthusiasm as his father.
“No. I…”
“Oh, Uncle Scott will come, don’t worry, dear. He and your mommy could not let an opportunity for a happy lunch, pass.” Mother waved her hand dismissively as she stared at me, raising one brow as if to test if I would have the heart to refuse her request.
“Oh, Kelsey, dear, you need not do that. The maids will do it for us.”
Kelsey came out bringing two pitchers of fruit juice. “I was in the kitchen, Mother, so I might as well,” she said. As she placed each down, she met my gaze but turned away immediately, showing how bothered she was by my presence.
“You remember Scott, dear.”
“Yes.” She smiled weakly as she sat down at the breakfast table.
“We saw each other, at dawn, in the kitchen. She got hungry,” I told Mother as I joined them, sitting right across from Kelsey.
“Of course, she would have been hungry. She barely ate last night,” Mother said, sounding as if she was scolding her.
As Kelsey stared, I couldn’t help but notice the sparkling diamond on her hand. She was wearing the engagement ring Seth and I picked out the morning he died. “Nice ring.” I pointed at it and she pulled her hand back from my view, hiding it on her lap.
“Don’t tease her, Scott, or she’ll cry again.”
Again. She cried last night at dinner. No wonder she looked so lonely in the kitchen. “Aren’t you supposed to be past that feeling after six long years?”
Kelsey hardened her look as she tilted her head to her side, mocking me. “Unlike some people I know, I fall in love and I find no purpose in changing partners.”