"Mallomars aside, I'm giving you good advice now. Marry Stephen, Julie. Go for it!"
Julie sighed. "I'm still thinking about it, Paul. Do you want to talk to Nonna now? To invite her to come and live with you?"
"Claire wants to ask her herself. Put Nonna on, and I'll go get Claire."
"Come live with you at the farm?" Nonna said when Claire extended her invitation. Nonna's eyes sparkled.
Julie stood in the background, fidgeting. She was beginning to have no doubt that Nonna would say yes to Claire's invitation and that her grandmother would thrive at the farm.
"Guess what," Nonna said excitedly after she had hung up. "Paul and Claire want me to come live with them, and I'm going!"
"That's wonderful," Julie said, beginning to feel depressed. She had devoted her life to her grandmother for so long that she was beginning to feel as though someone had suddenly pulled a rug out from under her. She'd never lived alone before.
Nonna sensed Julie's darkening mood.
"You don't mind, do you, Julie, if I live with them for a while? Maybe I could just stay with them for six months or so. You can come to visit. It will be fun."
But Julie knew that Nonna would settle into Paul and Claire's household with little effort, just as she had before. And Nonna was lonely living with Julie; that was obvious.
"I'll miss you very much, but I know you like having a family around you." And because Julie didn't trust herself to say more, she gave Nonna a quick hug and fled to the backyard, where she adjusted and readjusted the hummingbird feeder and tried to fathom what repercussions Nonna's leaving would have on her life.
Without Nonna to care for, Julie would be free to do exactly what she wanted for the first time in her adult life.
The thought was liberating. It was also frightening.
* * *
On the night before the Amazing Andrassys' return performance at the New Orleans Superdome, Julie lay in bed, despairing of ever falling asleep. She was resigned to the troupe's resuming the act, but her agonized soul-searching about Stephen threatened to take over every minute of her life, giving her no peace. True, she had until Christmas to make up her mind, and it was only mid-September. But how could she live with this painful indecision for another three months?
She heard a floorboard squeak in Nonna's room, and she glanced at the red numerals of her bedside clock. It was after two in the morning. Nonna should be asleep at this hour. Alarmed, Julie slipped out of bed.
The door to Nonna's room sat slightly ajar, and Julie tiptoed across the hall.
"Nonna?"
Nonna, sitting up in bed, peered over her spectacles with a small smile.
"Come in, Julie. You are awake so late."
"I—I couldn't sleep. What's wrong, Nonna? You're not feeling sick, I hope?"
Nonna shook her head, and her long gray hair, the color of steel wool, rustled against the pillow case. "I don't seem to need as much sleep as I used to, that's all. When I can't sleep, I get out my photo album. It is full of so many happy things to remember."
Julie looked down and saw that Nonna had opened her album to a page with pictures of Grandfather Anton. She sat down on the bed next to Nonna, sharing the funnel of light from the lamp.
"Come closer, Julie," Nonna said companionably. "Here is your grandfather. Wasn't your grandfather a handsome man?"
The picture to which Nonna pointed was of Grandfather Anton before he left the old country. The photo had faded with age, but nevertheless Julie detected a bright adventurous gleam in Grandfather's eyes. In youth, as in maturity, he was a compact, vigorous man who had a full head of crisp curly hair, dark in this picture instead of white as Julie remembered it. In the photo, he gripped a balancing pole in his hands and was about to step out onto a cable.
"This was taken when the Amazing Andrassys were performing with a circus in Vienna. A lovely city, Vienna." Nonna straightened the picture and gazed at it reminiscently.
"You were never a wire walker, Nonna," Julie said curiously. "Why is that?"
"I didn't have a feel for it. As you know, my family were trapeze artists, and I was a flyer myself when I was young. That's how your grandfather and I met, when his family joined the circus my family owned. Anton was so dashing—I'd never met anyone like him. He swept me off my feet, and that's saying a lot, Julie, because I was already flying high with our family trapeze act!" Nonna chuckled and turned the page.
"You see," she went on, "here is my Anton as he looked when I met him." She caressed a large photo with one wrinkled, papery finger.
The picture showed Grandfather Anton as a very young man with a luxuriant handlebar mustache, standing at the center of a group of caped performers. In the background was a circus tent with flags flying in the wind.
"Anton was one of five brothers, but he was clearly the star of their act. Oh, no one could hold a candle to him. I loved him the minute I saw him, and I loved him always."
"Was it love at first sight?"
"It was something like that."
"To me, love seems to be something that grows along with the two people involved."
Nonna smiled. "Well, maybe I should call it fascination at first sight. Whatever it was, it was strong enough to let me know that I must marry him, no matter what. And our love did grow. Every day of our lives together."
"Nonna, didn't you ever think about—" Julie's voice broke and she couldn't continue.
Nonna laid a hand gently on Julie's knee. "What is it, Julie? Don't be afraid to talk to me."
Julie gazed into Nonna's bright eyes, so warm and caring.
"Before you married Grandfather, didn't you ever think about his falling?" she blurted.
"Oh, yes. Of course." Nonna paused for a moment, sizing up Julie's intent. Then she spoke quietly and understandingly. "In fact, I thought about it quite a bit before we became engaged."
"And you married him anyway," Julie whispered.
"Yes, I married him. Naturally I was used to the idea of accidents in the circus. As a family of trapeze artists, we had plenty of our own, but we used a net when we performed. When I learned about this crazy unwritten code that says wire walkers must not use a net, I was shocked. Only an insane person would do that, I thought. But your grandfather was so levelheaded and so clever that he convinced me that if anyone could survive such an occupation, he could. And he did, for a long time."
"I never heard you complain about Grandfather's being on the high wire. And you gave all three of your sons to the wire, too."
"Julie," Nonna said with an upward tilt of her chin "We are a Hungarian circus family. We are proud of our tradition."
"I'm so afraid," Julie murmured. "Afraid for all of them." She looked down, only to see the gold-star pendant Stephen had given her hanging outside her nightgown. The single diamond seemed to droop from one of the points of the star like an unshed tear.
"Many times I was afraid. But how silly it would have been to let my fear rule my life. I had three sons. My son Mihaly was killed on a sidewalk by a runaway car shortly after we came to the United States. It was a tragedy, but it makes a point—life is full of danger for everyone, not just wire walkers. And the wire act is what the new Amazing Andrassys troupe wants to do. It is what they were born to do."
"Everyone thought I was born to walk the wire, too."
"You have made your choice, and the others respect that. They have made their choice, also."
"Yes. And now I must make another." Julie lifted troubled eyes to Nonna's.
"Stephen?"
Julie nodded.
"Do you love him, child?"
"I love him, Nonna. I love him with all my heart. And he wants me to marry him."
"Stephen loves you, too. I have seen it in his eyes."
"Oh, Nonna, what am I going to do? I came back to Venice to think it over, but I can't think because I miss him so much. I keep turning Stephen's marriage proposal over and over in my mind, and there's no easy answer. What if we get married and he fal
ls from the wire, and there goes our life together? It's not a happy prospect."
"Julie, I had the same thoughts before I married your grandfather. We had almost fifty wonderful years together. If I had followed my head instead of my heart, I would not have married Anton Andrassy. And I would have missed out on the happiest years of my life. I would have missed out on my three sons, Mihaly, Sandor and Bela. Would I have been better off for not marrying Anton? No!"
"Then the question is, would I be better off for not marrying Stephen?"
"And what is the answer?"
"The answer is that I love him."
"And loving him as you do, would you rather live without him?"
"I can't live without him," Julie said helplessly.
"Then, Julie, that is your answer," Nonna replied softly. "And by the way, I kept Elisabeth's wedding dress. It is on the top shelf of my closet. It would have made your mother very proud for you to wear it." She slipped the simple gold wedding band off her gnarled finger, kissed it, and pressed it into Julie's hand.
"Your grandfather would have wanted you to wear this. So do I. Perhaps it will please Stephen that you start your marriage wearing a symbol of the love that Anton and I shared."
Julie's hand closed over the ring, and she bowed her head. "Thank you, Nonna," she whispered. "Thank you so very much."
Chapter 14
Julie ran through the corridor beneath the stands of the Superdome searching for the Andrassy dressing room. She'd been here before, of course; she was familiar with the layout. But the man at the door must have given her the wrong directions.
The crowd was filling the stands, and the hubbub echoed off the walls of the corridor. Julie stopped a man wearing a hardhat and carrying a roll of electrical tape.
"Please, do you know where the Amazing Andrassys are dressing?"
"That way," he told her, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. She'd been running in the right direction after all.
"Thank you," she remembered to call hurriedly as she rushed on.
It was almost time for the performance. Julie's heart raced, and her hands were clenched so tightly that her fingernails dug into her sweaty palms. But she had to find Stephen.
She couldn't let him go up on the wire without telling him what she had traveled so far to say.
After her late-night talk with Nonna, Julie had hurried to the gym early in the morning and resigned from her coaching job.
Her boss was dismayed.
"But your students! What will they do without you?" He was clearly upset.
"Anyone can teach somersaults to four-year-olds," Julie soothed. "You'll find my replacement without any trouble at all."
"What can I do to convince you to stay?"
"Nothing," Julie insisted firmly, and she had cleaned out her locker and walked out of the gym without a backward glance. She'd loved her job, but she was going to open a new chapter in her life. There could be no looking back.
Nonna had been aglow with satisfaction when Julie arrived back from the gym that morning.
"I called a lady named Patricia at my favorite airline. She got you on a direct flight to New Orleans today. Isn't that wonderful?"
"I always knew your hobby would come in handy someday, Nonna," Julie said with a smile.
"Oh, you don't know the half of it," Nonna said, pressing a card into Julie's hand.
"What's this?" Julie asked, turning it over.
"Spend your honeymoon in beautiful Myrtle Beach!" exhorted the postcard, which Julie recognized immediately as the one that had been in her back pocket when she'd fallen into the stream during her farewell picnic with Stephen.
"Apparently I got this card from one of the 800 numbers I called," Nonna said with an embarrassed shrug. "This company is giving away free weekends at their condominium. See, the condominium is called Sandlapper Seas. All you have to do is listen to a short sales talk from one of their friendly vacation representatives, and they give you the rest of the weekend to enjoy the beach."
"Oh, Nonna," Julie said, envisioning a horrendous, inescapable, nonstop sales spiel in a boiler-room atmosphere.
"Well, I thought a honeymoon at the beach would make a good wedding present," Nonna said sheepishly.
Julie tossed the card into her suitcase on top of the box containing her mother's wedding dress. She hugged Nonna goodbye.
"Take your medicine on time. I've laid the pills out for you in sequence. And Mrs. Sims next door is going to look in on you regularly until Paul and Claire come this weekend to take you to the farm."
"Don't worry about me," Nonna said. "I just got a new 800-number directory in the mail. It will give me plenty to do until I leave." She waved cheerfully as Julie backed her car out of the driveway.
Julie's flight to New Orleans had been uneventful, but she'd thought she'd never get there. And now she worried that, after all her effort, she wouldn't be in time to see Stephen. A distracted glance at her watch told her that it was only a few minutes until the performance began.
"Careful, Gabrielle, don't step on the edge of your cape!" said Eva's unmistakable voice, and Julie peered in an open door to see Eva straightening Gabrielle's satin cloak so that it hung correctly.
Eva and Gabrielle looked up at the same time.
"Julie!" they exclaimed simultaneously.
"Yes, it's really me," she answered with a grin. She was hugged immediately by both cousins, and Gabrielle, her brown eyes heavily made up for the performance, looked confused as she asked anxiously, "Why are you here? Is anything wrong?"
Julie, now that she had found them, relaxed a bit. "No," she said. "Everything is right. I don't have time to explain now, but I must speak with Stephen. Where is he?"
"In the dressing room next door, I think. Oh, Julie, I'm so glad you're here!" Eva said. "And if it's for the reason I think, I couldn't be happier." She turned Julie around and gave her a little push out the door. "Go find Stephen. Hurry!"
"Albert, where's my list?" Stephen's voice said, and Julie dropped the hand with which she had been about to knock on the closed dressing room door and turned to see Stephen walking toward her in the hall. He was wearing a dazzling white leotard, and a white cape sparkling with silver sequins swung from his shoulders. She had never seen him looking handsomer.
His head snapped around in a double take when he saw her standing so quietly outside his dressing room, and then he handed Albert the clipboard he was carrying. It couldn't be—but it was! She was here! As though in a daze, he began to move toward her, slowly at first and then faster until the distance between them melted into nothing. Julie saw the gleam of tears in his eyes before he enfolded her in a fierce embrace.
"Juliana," he whispered as if he couldn't believe it. "Juliana."
The strength of his arms all but crushed the breath from her lungs. Tears streamed down her face, tears of joy, because she knew he had understood as soon as he'd seen her why she had come, why she hadn't been able to stay away, why she would never be able to stay away.
"Your cape," she said. "I'm getting tears all over it."
"As if I care! Oh, Juliana, it is so wonderful to see you!" He held her at arm's length, his eyes bright with happiness. Then, as though he couldn't bear for her to be so far away from him, he wrapped his arms around her and smothered her face in his shoulder.
They had both forgotten Albert, who was standing in the background trying not to look as interested as he obviously was. But finally Albert cleared his throat.
"Stephen," he said tentatively, "the crew from the television station is here. They were going to film the last few minutes of preparation before we go on the wire." A man carrying a camera edged closer, but Julie and Stephen seemed not to notice. Stephen was gazing down at her, his eyes devouring the sight of her long dark hair tumbling loose around her shoulders, her eyes so dark and glowing, her slightly parted and trembling lips.
"Dearest—"
"Shh," she said. "I have come a long way to say it, and I want to be the one. Let's
get married, Stephen. Right away."
The camera continued to roll, but Julie wasn't aware of the camera or the crew. All she was conscious of was Nonna's wedding ring in her pocket and Stephen in her arms—Stephen, whom she loved and whom she would always love.
Stephen laughed happily and swung her around, lifting her feet clear off the floor.
"I thought I would have to wait until Christmas to find out your answer," he said in wonder.
"I couldn't wait."
"Neither can I." And cupping her face between his hands, Stephen kissed her gently on the lips.
"Is this a marriage proposal I've just heard?" asked a perplexed reporter from the TV station, delighted but unwilling to believe that she had uncovered a human-interest scoop for the nightly news.
"Yes," Stephen said, refusing to look anywhere but into Julie's eyes.
"Is that right, Ms., um, Ms.?"
"Andrassy," Julie supplied, unable to pull her eyes away from Stephen's face.
"But—your name is Andrassy, and you're going to marry an Andrassy, so—" But no one seemed willing to explain this peculiarity, and then there was no time for anyone to say anything more. In the arena, the band galloped into a lively rendition of a Strauss waltz, and the swirl of music seemed to awaken Stephen.
"The performance," he said to Julie. "It is time. Will you be all right?" His eyes plumbed the depths of hers, and with confidence she nodded.
"Yes, Stephen. I'll always be all right."
He smiled down at her, and after one last brief kiss on her forehead, he became all business.
"Albert, my clipboard, please," he said. Albert handed it to him.
Stephen knocked on the closed doors to the dressing rooms. "Everyone out in the hall," he called.
They rushed out of the dressing rooms, and Eva and Gabrielle threw Julie long, curious looks. But when they saw the expression on her face, both cousins burst into smiles. Eva elbowed Gabrielle in the ribs as if to say, "I told you so."
Without further ado, the troupe lined up for inspection.
Stephen stepped forward and cleared his throat. As Grandfather Anton had done, he planned to speak encouragingly to them before every performance. Julie stayed in the background, trying to be as little distraction as possible at such a critical time.
Touch the Stars Page 17